My greatest thanks go to my teacher and colleague,

Siegfried Essen, who introduced me to spiritual-systemic

constellation and embodiment work in 2017. His work and

approach were a revelation from the very first moment.

Individual and group sessions allow people to observe

themselves from different perspectives by embodying

different parts of themselves or, in a group setting, of other

people.

By continuously accepting your body or yourself as a

whole, individual being—preferably at least once a

day—you direct your focus on reconciliation and

unconditional love instead of self-doubt and scarcity. Brain

research has confirmed that regular repetition of certain

behaviours creates new nerve connections in our brains,

even in adulthood. This means that we never stop learning

and can acquire new skills regardless of age. In the same

way, we can practice and learn self-acceptance and

compassion.

Everything we have ever experienced in our lives is

accumulated in our bodies. Even when we only

imagine or dream things, the body reacts. In terms of

directness and sincerity, our body awareness can be

compared to how toddlers express themselves. The body

reacts without thinking, expressing immediately what it

feels. It responds to what we imagine. For example, if we

believe that lactose is unhealthy for us and then drink milk,

there’s a good chance that the body will respond with a

rumbling belly, even if it turns out that the milk is lactose-

free.

Constellation and embodiment work is ultimately

about making us aware of unconditional love in

various situations and choosing it. We say YES to ourselves

and, therefore, YES to the life that we are. Confining

feelings of shame, self-doubt, etc., keep us from accepting

and receiving the love within ourselves. The hurt inner

child in us still believes it does not deserve to be

unconditionally loved. It learned early on that it must

conform to the ideas of others in order to receive the

approval of its parents or other caregivers.

Even if we repeatedly experience that we carry

unconditional love within us, why is it so difficult to

remember?

The body never lies; it sends its signals directly and

clearly. When we take up a position (a role) in a

constellation setting, we immediately sense whether we

feel comfortable there or not. We may feel tension in our

shoulders, sudden tiredness or the urge to sit or lie down.

The body gives us clear instructions if we listen to it.

Listening and paying attention are central to constellation

and embodiment work.

The word express comes from the Latin ex (“out”) and

pressare (“press”)—an encouragement to press out

what distresses us through speaking or embodying it. The

things that we hide or suppress do not resolve themselves.

On the contrary, suppressing and ensuring our secrets

remain hidden requires a lot of our precious life-force

energy. Sometimes we suppress feelings because we believe

that they are unreasonable or illogical. In this way, we hide

certain sides and parts of ourselves. It takes courage to

show oneself, to be vulnerable and to dare. As soon as we

speak out what frightens us, it loses its power and its hold

on us, and we feel relief. Expressing suppressed feelings is

frequently followed by sighs of relief, spontaneous

crying and laughter.

What often happens in interpersonal relationships

is a shift in personal responsibility, which

inevitably leads to problems. Self-responsibility shifts when

we make someone else responsible for our own well-being

or when we feel responsible for someone else’s. When we

take responsibility for ourselves, we become free again,

and in doing so, we free the other people involved as well.

How can we assert and maintain our boundaries

effectively?

Recognising one’s boundaries using the mind is often

tricky, as we tend to think that setting boundaries or saying

“no” is not OK.