The Pressures of Privilege

Sometimes my best thinking happens with a cup of tea, a notebook, and a view that reminds me how big the world really is. That's where I am today as I write this. Looking out at the Alps, I am finally ready to show you the grid I've been talking about.

But before I do, let me tell you about the week that brought me here.

A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege.
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Fritzli and I just landed in Zurich. We're on the train to Bern, where we'll switch to the Zweisimmen train. Then comes the little train that slowly curls up the mountains to Gstaad.

Speaking of Gstaad, check out Gstaad Guy's new podcast.

If you haven’t discovered him yet, Gstaad Guy is this 28-year old mystery creator behind Instagram's parody of luxury life. Through his characters Constance (a snobbish Brit) and Colton (his crypto-obsessed American cousin), he mocks the ultra-wealthy while filming my hometown.

What started as funny videos shared with friends while working his Apple day job has turned into a million-dollar business. I love his approach of not taking yourself too seriously and finding joy in life's absurdities.

A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege.
Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe

As you know, I'm someone who geeks out over productivity systems and uses a digital task manager called Things3 for my to-do lists. (Yes, I know - I collect productivity systems like some people collect vintage wine.) But what drew me to The Grid is that it’s designed for people who value health—it’s analog, and it’s grounded in neuroscience.

A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege.
Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe

In this conversation, Dr. Rich discusses the mental aspects of golf and how they relate to personal growth and self-awareness. He shares insights on the importance of presence, mindset, and the connection between golf and life skills. The discussion also touches on meditation, mindfulness, and the role of music in enhancing performance. Dr. Rich emphasizes the significance of letting go of control and trusting the process, as well as the value of self-awareness in improving one's game and life. 

Dr. Rich Golf

Improving golf skills can lead to personal growth.

Mindset plays a crucial role in performance.

Credits and support

Thank The Team: To all those who help me. Gwendolyn Christian for the scheduling and Oliver Kiker for the theme music.

Presence and awareness enhance both golf and life experiences.

Stillness and patience are essential for success in golf.

Music can help establish rhythm and focus during play.

Letting go of control can improve performance.

Meditation and mindfulness can benefit golfers with ADHD.

Self-awareness is key to understanding and improving one's game.

Negative self-talk can hinder performance and growth.

Engaging with the process rather than seeking quick fixes leads to better outcomes.

Before I tell you a story about finding belonging and holding onto one’s true self in life, I wanted to share a photo taken by Henry, my morning walking and fishing buddy. Apparently, last week’s photo of the Cliff Walk didn't look 'cliffy' enough. So here's an action shot of yours truly with her faithful companion clambering on the rocks. There's something about these rugged edges that reminds me of the tops of mountains in the Adirondacks. Imagine if the water were gone, this could be the summit of Mount Marcy. Plus, these coastal rocks have weathered countless storms reminding me of the “standing firm amidst chaos” theme at a recent support group meeting at the Seamen’s Church Institute in Newport....

A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege.
Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe

My day started beautifully. My neighbor Henry, my dog Fritzli, and I walked Newport's rocky cliffs. The sky was blue, the ocean glistened. On our way home, I noticed the perfectly green leaves and blossoms on the trees.

Thank goodness I have this morning walking routine. Without it, life would be stale air.

Starting a blog post is near-impossible when you worry about family. I have one loved one in the hospital and another who is struggling, which makes happy Mother’s Day greetings feel bittersweet.

Speaking of moms - mine usually forwards Sean of the South's daily columns to me. Sean Dietrich (known as Sean of the South) is this wonderful storyteller who shares heartfelt, funny stories about everyday life in small-town America. My mom loves his writing so much, she shares his columns with everyone she knows. For the past week, they've stopped arriving in my inbox because she's in the hospital. This absence of Sean's columns in my daily life is a sign mom is unwell and it makes me sad. Maybe it's practice for when they will stop coming for real - a trial run for her eventual departure. I'm just hoping she'll be back at her computer soon.....

A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege.
Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe

While I was in London last week, I chatted with a friend who places children into top British boarding schools for a fee. Nothing wrong with that! But it made me think about my training as an addiction recovery specialist and interventionist, where we were warned that "selling souls" was highly unethical and illegal in most states. Both involve placing people in residential facilities, but with vastly different ethical standards....

A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege.
Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe

6:30 a.m. — I've just arrived at London Heathrow after flying from Boston. The weather here is surprisingly sunny and warm - a welcome change from the mist and wind I left behind. I've never experienced such fast immigration and baggage "reclaim." I literally never stopped walking since exiting the plane and the espresso at the airport bar is really good. Apparently, all those jokes about British food don't apply to coffee.

7:30 a.m. — The taxi driver was happy to bring me to Mayfair, where I am staying. He talked about finances on the phone the entire drive. A quick Google search said to tip London taxi drivers but not more than 10 percent. I arrive a bit dizzy from looking at my screen. Note to self: Reading about tipping etiquette while in motion is not my superpower.

8:30 a.m.— It's too early to get into my room, so I sit in the bar area, order breakfast and type on my laptop. The famous London Marathon is about to start, and my hotel is near the finish line. A woman wearing a starting number rushes through the hotel. She looks nervous and excited.

A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege.
Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe

Take Lorenzo. He recognizes my routine. When he sees me walking out the door on my way to karate class wearing my backpack, he usually says, "kick some butt." And when I return red-faced and sweaty, and sometimes even limping, he goes, "Hard class, hey?"

Then there's Julito. He has back problems but he's always cheerful and asks me how I am and how my kids are. When things got hard with a loved one this past year, he said, "take it one day at a time."

Then there's Joe. He's a rock and roller who's always sharing his favorite songs with me. I swear if I put him and my 20-year old son in a room with guitars, they'd never leave.

And then there's Matthew. He's only 20. He loves Fritzli, my mini Schnauzer. Whenever we come in from a walk, Fritzli goes up to Matthew for a neck scratch. Matthew has a special touch which all the doormen are trying to copy. He can make Fritzli's back leg come off the ground and shake because he loves the massage so much....

A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege.
Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe

This is taking all of my will and energy to write. My dear friend Esmond Harmsworth passed away suddenly a few days ago and I don't feel like doing much of anything anymore. He was my anchor, my confidant, my mentor, my cheerleader. He was also a faithful reader of this column. Just this January, he texted me: "I'm so enjoying your current series on Substack. You have so many things exactly right! It's a pleasure to read." So, dear reader… I will keep this week's post short. My heart isn't in writing something smart, witty, or helpful. But I wanted to honor him, so I'll share the following letter I wrote to him, in the hopes that he can still read it from heaven:

A narrated essay from The Pressures of Privilege.
Subscribe for more essays and reflections: https://dianaoehrli.substack.com/subscribe