Jay shares his recent experience of losing his beloved dog Ginger. In doing so he explains how much saying goodbye to the dog was more about letting go of a part of his life that he hasn't shared and a reminder that death of man or beast will always be a sad consequence of the fall of man until God restores his own order of life.

Resources & Links:

From dust to dust - Ecclesiastes 3:18-21

Pet loss grief; the pain explained - Sarah Hoggan

Quotable: "I realized I wasn't training my dog; I was training myself. I was learning that life can be messy, but you can still enjoy it, I was learning that you could fail many times at something, but it doesn't mean you are a failure" - Jay

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet"

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Jay talks about healing from personal life events from both a physical, emotional and spiritual sense. During times of difficulty, tragedy, failure, illness or any valleys of life; it's often easy to get stuck into the weeds and thorns that life is. It's easier to give up than having to face the aftermath of an event, but ultimately , we must get there to heal. Jay also plays a guitar at the end of the episode!

Resources: Songs Jay talked about

Whatever you're doing - Sanctus Real

Broken vessels - Hillsong

Quotable: "Everyone has their own process; everyone has their own time but if we are to continue living in this life - healing must happen." -Jay

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet"

Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]

In this episode, Jay recounts a conversation he had with a late friend about suffering and draws perspective from it today.

Dedicated to M.N.M. - Still sadly missed.

 Resources:

 The story of the man born blind

Afflicted Saint, to Christ draw near

 Quotable: "…we shouldn't always claim to know or even explain the reason we suffer because frankly we don't know why certain things happen, but we should instead look to God for strength during these trials and challenges." - Jay

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet"

Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]

Jay recounts his love for basketball and the pain from it. He talks about why he is ready to quit – a true depiction of the impact the recent injury and process of recovery has had on him thus far. A little glimpse on some feelings that pain can bring out in all of us.

Resources:

The story of King David in the Bible

Quotable: "I have counted the cost, I have embraced the pain for too long, but it has just been one sided, I have given everything to the game, but I feel like the game hasn't loved me back and I have nothing left to give to it anymore." - Jay

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet"

Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]

In November of 2016, Jay underwent a surgical procedure to repair his left Achilles tendon after it completely ruptured. He made full recovery in a record 6-7 months and went back to playing his beloved basketball.

Well, seven full years later on the 16th of October 2023; Jay devastatingly went through the same procedure on his other leg. This experience agonizingly has brought so much shock and Jay speaks about it today.

Resources:

What shall separate us from the love of God?

Achilles tendon rupture

Quotable: "It wasn't a pretty conversation but in that moment for all of you in doubt- that very conversation I was having was my faith." - Jay

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet"

Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]

In this episode Jay pens a letter of apology to all the people in his life that he let down by choosing his own path. He gets a little personal in saying sorry for the unrealized potential that he left to pursue his own enterprise and how he is at peace with the fruits of that process 7 years later. Everyone of us needs a therapy session, Jay just thought his was saying sorry.

Resources:

Am I Wrong (Song Jay referenced)

Quotable: "I have no regrets in my life, I have lived the life I would live over and over again; a life of complete and utter faith." - Jay

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet"

Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]

Jay talks to Joseph Kayaya about being yourself, living your life to the fullest, his love for running and we delve deep into his experience with dealing with the death of his Dad as well as mental health. We also get to enjoy more of his trademark daily doses as he shares them on the podcast. 

Resources & Links:

JK

Daily Doses

Ted Talk about grief (Nora McInerny)

Lusaka Fitness Squad (premier running club)

Books mentioned:

Atomic habits

Smart Money Woman

The Richest Man in Babylon

Tiny Habits

Become unstoppable

The Top 10 Distinctions Between Millionaires and the Middle Class

Quotable: "It's amazing how far a human body will go when you are clear with your goals" - JK 

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet" 

Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]

In this episode Jay talks about how life is taking him back to parts of his life that he left behind. He goes in circles talking about going back to old relationships including professional relationships even giving an analogy of puppies and dogs! Yes he was philosophical about this experience until he decided to finally get to the whole point of this episode - sharing how life has helped him reconnect with his own siblings and family through the death of his grandma!

Resources:

Going back (Song Jay referenced)

Quotable: "You know what? I also appreciate living the experience of loving someone I don't always agree with or put it this way fighting with someone I love." - Jay

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet"

Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]

In this episode Jay talks about the challenges and 'weirdness' of adult friendship. He shares his experience being blacked out by a long-time close friend, how he came to terms with it and how he views friendship now.

Resources: about friendship

Billy no-mates (Book Jay recommended)

Men, guard your friendships – heed the warning of the Banshees of Inisherin

When it comes to banter, men are in their element. But that is no foundation for lasting friendship

How I realised I'd become a friendaholic)

Quotable: "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." -Proverbs 18v24

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet"

Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]

In this episode Jay reflects on his recent depression and health issues, as well as how he lost his creative ability and enthusiasm for writing. He talks about an interesting technique suggested by a friend to regain it all back. What technique was this, you might ask - Doodling!

Finally Jay shares his entire doodle list that included all the activities he did just to stay afloat.

Resources about the technique of Doodling:

What are doodles and their benefits?

Benefits of doodling

Doodle your way to better mental health

Art Journaling (doodle and de-stress)

Quotable: "But what I figured out through this novel idea from my super friend - was more confounding: That throughout the process of my mental struggles and physical health I was doing the same thing - I was incoherently doing [different] things to try and get better." -Jay

The Pretender theme music is a beat composed by 2dayPresents and is titled "1000 Feet"

Note: I don't host a "comments" section, but I'm happy to hear your questions and insights via email, at [email protected]