The Projectors

Finally, it’s time. This month…MOVIES ARE GAY! The layered world of queer cinema and its influences are the topic and we will start off with a classic. Alfred Hitchcock (That old, alleged, queen) made a film based on a play that was loosely based upon the Leopold and Loeb true crime case. The film, “Rope” was considered a “failed experiment” by the director but upon it’s re-release decades later, the world finally saw what many missed in the more closeted time in which it first released, THAT THIS MOVIE IS GAY. A common denominator on lists of classic, if subtle, gay cinema roots. “Rope” is a craftily shot and acted film with the main culprits, the screenwriter and supposedly Hitchcock himself all belonging in the classic realm of Hollywood LGBTQ. Truly, the more we learn about Hollywood, the gayer it gets. That’s because MOVIES ARE GAY. All of them.

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This month is gonna get really gay but first, let’s hit the surf and sands and check out what’s in store for the movie scene this summer with our very first 2023 SUMMER PREVIEW TRAILERHUMP! Bob Sham and Angela tour beaches all over the world and watch 11 movie trailers (only three are original properties) and decide which few we will actually watch. It’s fun in the sun and the summer movie theater scene is gonna be a scorching franchise dump! 

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During Michael Mann May we watched modern crime dramas from the past four decades and in 2015 Mann gave us a film about cyber crime and hacking which also happens to be his last movie released as of this writing. (Ferrari is not quite out yet) Chris Hemsworth is a hacker and a fighter and kind of a detective but more than anything he is a hacker and he and agents from the United States and China must work together to stop a mystery fellow from causing mass hack-lord destruction. We’re talking about the 2015, globe hopping “hack” thriller “Blackhat” and your boy Thor is in it. Michael Mann has some moves but does his representation of cyber crime make it into rare company of good cyber crime movies? What is any other good hacking thriller, honestly? I can’t think of one. Johnny Mnemonic is too goofy. Michael Mann hacks into our mainframe one more time before we leave his month. Thanks for all the cool shit Mike. You’ve touched us deeply but now It’s time for a new theme. It’s time to be gay now.

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By the end of the week we will be full blown gay but in the last days of May we will leave with some good classic crime, namely this Robert Mitchum bonafide classic film noir directed by Jacques Tourneur. The smooth and stunning “Out of the Past” starring Mitchum, the stunning Jane Greer and Kirk Douglas. All the noir classic tropes you can imagine but done in the best possible way. And how bout that deaf boy hooking that big one? He should be in fishing competitions. A harder movie to find but well worth your time and maybe a rental. We got this, one more Michael Mann movie, and then we will be gay.

Will Bidgood’s homemade Out of the Past trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLMHIPMQmsM

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Michael Mann May selections have now entered the 21st Century and we got another LA crime thriller with 2004s “Collateral” starring Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise and a really chill ass Jada Pinkett Smith. Like, it seems like she would just listen to some R&B in the back of your cab, hitting a vape, and not judge you at all even though you’re a cabbie and she’s a big time lawyer. I’d smoke a doobie with Jada. Hell, I might roll out a whole HOG’S LEG YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!?  DAMN I GOTTA SIT DOWN. I’M GETTING DIZZY. MICHAEL MANN.

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This one is a double dipper. That means the movie is in the movie theater and streaming at the same time. That’s our MOVIEHUMPERS slang we’re trying to get out there. We want to change culture just like Michael Jordan and the suits at Nike did in 1984 when they branded a shoe line around a rookie player that would go on to be one of the most competitive, driven and iconic athletes of all time. Knowing what we know, then this movie can pretty much play the role of prophecy. Also, how will we know it’s 1984 when we’re watching this movie? HOW? We’re discussing “Air” directed by Ben Affleck and starring himself, Matt Damon, Viola Davis, Jason Bateman and Chris Tucker. Haven’t seen Chris Tucker in a minute. Last time I heard his name it was mentioned in that Epstein flight stuff. He was in Rush Hour, so there’s definitely no way he did any of that gross Epstein stuff. Rush Hour wouldn’t do that to me.

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We have an especially humpworthy, plus-sized, episode today because we’re not just reviewing one movie but SIX FULL LENGTH FILMS TOTAL! Yep, we picked six movies we saw within the last 6 or so months and we set a timer on each one. They run the gamut in genre and quality and we just might touch base on literally every ranking tier in our moviehump system. We also retroactively change the score of a recent review and adjust our tiers to make our judgements even HARSHER! Here are the flicks we are discussing:

CITIZEN KANE by Orson Welles (1941)

SPEAK NO EVIL by Christian Tafdrup (2022)

KATE PLAYS CHRISTINE by Robert Greene (2016)

THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER by Taika Waititi (2022)

PARIS, TEXAS by Wim Wenders (1984)

DON’T WORRY DARLING by Olivia Wilde (2022)

The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful in these selections and we got some firm opinions on all of them as well as a recurring “boing” sound which you are sure to love.

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We’re actually doing a good job keeping up with the theme this month and it’s easy when your theme is “Michael Mann May” because we’re watching high end crime drama bangers all month long. Michael Mann crushed it out of the gate with “Thief”, found his style groove with “Manhunter” and all that good stuff culminates into Mann’s crime epic that would become his most infamous film. Of course, we’re talking about the 1995 classic “Heat” starring Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Val Kilmer and about 800 other big stars. As it turns out, this was our very first viewing of it. Bob did see it forever ago around when it came out (as a pre-teen weirdo) but when he started watching it this time he realized he didn’t remember shit. Can’t believe we didn’t spend the last 28 years just watching this over and over. Better late than never.

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We’re pairing some noir classic discussions with our Michael Mann May theme and we’re in store for some Robert Mitchum bangers up in this piece. Today we hit up a classic that is actor and stage producer Charles Laughton’s only feature film and it got so panned that he never directed another movie again. They didn’t know what they were talking about in 1955 because “The Night of the Hunter” starring Robert Mitchum, Shelley Winters & Lillian Gish is a beautiful and disturbing piece of work. Also, this movie saved our souls. We’re deeply religious now. The Reverend Harry Powell might seem like evil incarnate, but he’s a believer, so you know he’s up there in Heaven slurping up all that milk and honey. Praise be.

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At least once a month we review a movie that is completely randomly generated from a random movie title generator website and last time the movie gods randomly bestowed upon us an English black comedy about four bumbling Jihadis who seek to do a suicide bombing. An absurd, hilariously and strangely touching comedy directed by notorious satirist Chris Morris. His first film. We’re talking about the 2010 comedy “Four Lions”. You can find it on Tube as of this posting. We watched it on Pluto for the subtitles and it kinda sucked. Not the movie. The movie was good. Pluto kind of sucked. We randomly generate our next randomly generated review at the end of this episode and it’s an exciting one.

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