The PursueGOD Training Podcast

No conversation about leadership is complete without discussing Jesus. He was the most influential leader in the history of the world. He calls his followers to lead like he led.

We’re coming to the last conversation in our leadership principles for men series, and we’ve saved the best for last. Today, we’re going to talk about how to lead like Jesus. This isn’t going to be a comprehensive conversation. We’d have to spend several podcasts discussing all of the amazing things that describe Jesus’ leadership and its effectiveness. We’re going to focus on three characteristics of Jesus’ leadership that we work to incorporate as we lead at home, in the church, and in the workplace.

Laser Focus

Jesus had absolute clarity on the mission. He didn’t let the desires of others, or even his own preferences, get in the way of accomplishing what he was sent to do.

Luke 2:49-50 (ESV) And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” 50 But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.

Set context of the scene - The family was in Jerusalem to celebrate Passover. He’s 12. They left assuming Jesus was with their group that had traveled. They get a day away from Jerusalem and realize he is not with them. Talk about pressure - you lost the Son of God. They look for him for three days and when they find him, he’s interacting with the teachers of the law in the temple. He’s listening and asking them questions.

Jesus’ response is so telling - didn’t you know I must be about my Father’s business? Mom, Dad, you know who I am. You know what the angel said about me. Would you expect anything less than this? You should have known that I’m going to be on mission.

Jesus was on mission at a young age. I think we do our young people a disservice when we don’t give them opportunities to be on mission while they’re young. Dad’s, are you encouraging your kids to pursue God and to help others pursue God while they’re young?

As Jesus began his earthly ministry and grew in popularity there were people, who were sometimes well meaning, that sought to get him distracted from the mission.

John 6:14-15 When the people saw him[b] do this miraculous sign, they exclaimed, “Surely, he is the Prophet we have been expecting!”[c] 15 When Jesus saw that they were ready to force him to be their king, he slipped away into the hills by himself.

Jesus had just finished the miraculous feeding of the 5,000. The crowds see this amazing miracle and they want to make Jesus king by force. For most of us, it would have been so tempting to get carried up in the emotion and adoration of the crowd. Jesus is rightfully king so why not let the crowds do what they want to do? He knew the Father’s plan was the plan. He knew his time hadn’t come. He knew he wasn’t going to be King of Kings and Lord of Lords by going man’s way.

Do we have clarity on the mission? Is it to accumulate the most wealth? Is it to provide a comfortable home and upbringing for our kids? Is it to have the most fame, power, pleasure? Those things aren’t necessarily bad in and of themselves, but they can get us off track. As a husband, my mission is to love my wife as Christ loved the church. It’s to give myself up for her. It’s to make her holy - set her apart - It’s to wash her with the Word. As a dad, my mission is to raise my children in the fear and understanding of the Lord.

As a follower of Christ, my mission is to go full circle in my pursuit of him and help the next person do the same thing. The great commission. A co-mission with Jesus.

Mark 8:31-33 Then Jesus began to tell them that the Son of Man[c] must suffer many terrible things and be rejected by the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but three days later he would rise from the dead. 32 As he talked about this openly with his disciples, Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things.[d]33 Jesus turned around and looked at his disciples, then reprimanded Peter. “Get away from me, Satan!” he said. “You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.”

This is the most severe rebuke we see Jesus issue to the disciples. Peter had good intentions, but he was trying to get Jesus to stray from the mission.

This is one of the reasons connection with other believers is so important. The world is always going to pull you away from pursuing God, sometimes unintentionally sometimes intentionally. When you’re trying to decide about taking a new job offer, what’s the first thing the world would usually ask - does it pay more? You need someone to ask - how will this affect your ability to love your wife and kids well? How is it going to affect your time for serving the kingdom? Is it a good use of the gifts God has given you? Again, earning more money is not a bad thing and Praise God that he sometimes blesses us financially - but it can so easily get us off track.

When I used to coach football, I rarely watched college games on the weekend, even though I love college football. I just felt like I was already committing 20 to 25 hours per week between practices, weights, watching film and games and I thought it would be irresponsible to spend more time on the weekend watching it. When I would tell my coaching buddies that, they couldn’t believe it. When I told my close, Christian brothers they would say, “makes sense. You don’t want it to be an idol and you’re already taking plenty of time away from your wife and kids.” I knew the value of bouncing ideas off of men who love Jesus and care for me.

Teachable Moments

Jesus was intentional about taking advantage of teachable moments. He didn’t let the urgent get in the way of the important. He knew he had a limited amount of time to invest in his disciples and wanted to make the most of every opportunity.

Mark 8:14-21 But the disciples had forgotten to bring any food. They had only one loaf of bread with them in the boat. 15 As they were crossing the lake, Jesus warned them, “Watch out! Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and of Herod.”16 At this they began to argue with each other because they hadn’t brought any bread. 17 Jesus knew what they were saying, so he said, “Why are you arguing about having no bread? Don’t you know or understand even yet? Are your hearts too hard to take it in? 18 ‘You have eyes—can’t you see? You have ears—can’t you hear?’[a] Don’t you remember anything at all? 19 When I fed the 5,000 with five loaves of bread, how many baskets of leftovers did you pick up afterward?”“Twelve,” they said.20 “And when I fed the 4,000 with seven loaves, how many large baskets of leftovers did you pick up?”“Seven,” they said.21 “Don’t you understand yet?” he asked them.

Jesus was so intentional about taking advantage of teachable moments with the disciples. Here, they’re out on the lake, away from the noise of the crowds. He warns them about the yeast of the Pharisees and they’re clueless about what he’s talking about. They think he’s bringing it up because they forgot bread. Jesus was so patient with them. He reprimands them in this lesson. Don’t you remember anything at all? We know that Jesus didn’t overreact when he did this. He didn’t lose his cool. He was sinless. Sometimes, we have to point out obvious foolishness when we’re in a teaching moment. We want to be very careful that we’re not prideful about it, lest we fall into the same temptation, but sometimes we have to be direct and straightforward.

Story about couple sleeping together and me beating around the bush when asking about it.

We see a pattern so often in the gospels of Jesus giving a public teaching and then explaining it to the disciples when he had them alone. The sermon wasn’t enough. Jesus was the greatest preacher of all times, so if they needed more teaching after listening to him, how much more do people in our lives need it.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.[a] 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Are you intentional about looking for teachable moments for your kids? If you have teenage sons, do you invite them to listen to this podcast with you? Do you have times of intentional conversation with them? I know it’s not easy. I know there’s a lot of awkward silence at times. I experienced that with both of my sons. But stick with it. Hang in there.

The time we have with our kids goes by so fast. We have to be intentional about teachable moments.

Humble Servant

Jesus was the epitome of servant leadership. He humbled himself, left the comforts of heaven, and went to the cross. The God of the universe took on frail, human flesh and was faced with every temptation we face, but never sinned. When we’re following Jesus, we’re following a servant.

John 13:3-8Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. 4 So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, 5 and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.6 When Jesus came to Simon Peter, Peter said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”7 Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.”8 “No,” Peter protested, “you will never ever wash my feet!”Jesus replied, “Unless I wash you, you won’t belong to me.”

It was out of Jesus’ knowledge that God the Father had given him authority over everything that led him to serve the disciples in this way. Verse 4 says “so” he got up from the table. It’s linking it back to verse three. Insecurities often cause us to not want to humble ourselves. There isn’t an ounce of insecurity in Jesus. He knows exactly who he is and the authority he has.

Washing someone’s feet in that culture was the lowest of the low jobs. It’s what the slave in the household who was at the bottom of the totem pole had to do. They’re walking on dirt roads, barefoot or in sandals, there’s animal dung everywhere. This was not a pretty sight. And Jesus takes it upon himself to wash the disciples feet.

There was a time when leadership like this meant something, even in the secular culture. What do we call our elected officials? Public servants right? Do we still call them that anymore? That’s the ideal though. They’re supposed to consider themselves servants to those who they lead.

Men, we’re called to be the leaders in our homes. That means we should be the biggest servant. If we want our wives and children to respect our leadership, we need to lead with their best in mind. We need to lead in a way that models service to them.

Philippians 2:5-8 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.6 Though he was God,[a] he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges[b]; he took the humble position of a slave[c] and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form,[d]8. he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross

Jesus modeled servant leadership long before he washed the feet of the disciples. Taking on flesh, leaving the comforts of heaven, being born in a manger, dealing with hunger, thirst, fatigue, cold, heat - all the things humans deal with is such a powerful example of him humbling himself and leading by serving. The apex of it was when he went to the cross and did a criminal’s death.

Close

To be great in the kingdom of heaven, we need to be a servant. In God’s upside down kingdom, we’re exalted when we humble ourselves in service to others.

Matthew 20:25-28 But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. 26 But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. 28 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

This comes as the disciples are indignant with James and John for asking to sit at the right and left hand of Jesus in his kingdom.

If Jesus didn’t come to be served, even though he deserves it, then how can we have the attitude of expecting people to serve us? If we want to be great, if we want to be a leader in the kingdom of heaven, we better learn how to be a servant.

Intro

We’re in the third week of our leadership principles for men and we’re taking a look at Jonathan. Jonathan is the son of King Saul, the first king of the nation of Israel. The first story we’re going to look at is at a time when Israel is at war with the Philistines. Saul has already disobeyed the Lord and has been reprimanded by the prophet Samuel and the army is in a tough spot. They’re outnumbered and they’re ill-equipped. Jonathan is one of my favorite characters in the Bible. We’ll see he had great courage, great faith, humility, and he was a great leader. This may be the most practical lesson in the series. We’re going to get into some very specific leadership principles that can help you lead at home, in the church, and in your workplace.

Communicate

Jonathan over communicated, communicated clearly, and welcomed feedback. Good leaders are always looking for opportunities to earn trust, and it’s clear Jonathan had earned trust from his armor bearer. Jonathan knew his strength came from the Lord and that God was the one who would bring victory.

1 Samuel 14:1-14 One day Jonathan said to his armor bearer, “Come on, let’s go over to where the Philistines have their outpost.” But Jonathan did not tell his father what he was doing.

2 Meanwhile, Saul and his 600 men were camped on the outskirts of Gibeah, around the pomegranate tree[a] at Migron. 3 Among Saul’s men was Ahijah the priest, who was wearing the ephod, the priestly vest. Ahijah was the son of Ichabod’s brother Ahitub, son of Phinehas, son of Eli, the priest of the Lord who had served at Shiloh.

No one realized that Jonathan had left the Israelite camp. 4 To reach the Philistine outpost, Jonathan had to go down between two rocky cliffs that were called Bozez and Seneh. 5 The cliff on the north was in front of Micmash, and the one on the south was in front of Geba. 6 “Let’s go across to the outpost of those pagans,” Jonathan said to his armor bearer. “Perhaps the Lord will help us, for nothing can hinder the Lord. He can win a battle whether he has many warriors or only a few!”

7 “Do what you think is best,” the armor bearer replied. “I’m with you completely, whatever you decide.”

8 “All right, then,” Jonathan told him. “We will cross over and let them see us. 9 If they say to us, ‘Stay where you are or we’ll kill you,’ then we will stop and not go up to them. 10 But if they say, ‘Come on up and fight,’ then we will go up. That will be the Lord’s sign that he will help us defeat them.”

11 When the Philistines saw them coming, they shouted, “Look! The Hebrews are crawling out of their holes!” 12 Then the men from the outpost shouted to Jonathan, “Come on up here, and we’ll teach you a lesson!”

“Come on, climb right behind me,” Jonathan said to his armor bearer, “for the Lord will help us defeat them!”

13 So they climbed up using both hands and feet, and the Philistines fell before Jonathan, and his armor bearer killed those who came behind them. 14 They killed some twenty men in all, and their bodies were scattered over about half an acre.[b]

Jonathan communicates very clearly and very specifically to his armor bearer about what his plans are. He didn’t have to do this. His armor bearer was essentially a servant. No one would have reprimanded Jonathan for keeping his plans to himself. He communicates it in a way that gave his armor bearer a chance to respond. Jonathan has created an environment with his armor bear where he feels safe giving feedback.

Do you seek feedback on a regular basis for those you lead? Have you created an environment where people are unafraid to ask questions if they don’t have clarity on what you’re asking them to do or have you created an environment where people feel like you have an “It’s my way or the highway” type of leadership style?

Jonathan gives very clear instructions about what he is proposing. He isn’t quite sure of the battle plan at the beginning because he wants to be sure the Lord is behind them. He knows that it is the Lord who is going to give victory if they engage with the enemy. He isn’t worried about the numbers. He knows the Lord can win a battle whether he has many warriors or few. This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. It’s such a great reminder to us. We live and minister in an area that has a relatively small percentage of people who practice biblical Christianity. If we just look at the numbers, it can be very discouraging and daunting, but God is mighty and will win the battle with many soldiers or few.

I love the armor bearer’s response - “Do what you think is best. I’m with you completely - whatever you decide.” In the translation I used as a kid he said, “Do whatever you have in mind. I’m with you heart and soul.” Man, that’s a leader who has led well. That’s a leader who has earned trust during the course of the relationship. If your wife and your children say, “Dad. Do what you have in mind. We’re with you heart and soul.” Wow! What a powerful testimony that would be to your leadership. We may not always agree. We may not always understand, but we know you love us. We know you love God. We know that you’re genuinely making decisions that you think are the best for us - so we’re with you.

The armor bearer had to obey Jonathan. He didn’t really have a choice, but you can tell there’s much more than that going on here. He didn’t just say yes sir. He said, “I’m with you completely!” I’m all in.

I’ve been blessed to have a handful of men in my life that I would say, “Do whatever you have in mind. I’m with you heart and soul. You want to climb those cliffs and fight those guys who outnumber us? Let’s do it. My father-in-law was a man I’d go into battle with. The members of our Executive Team at our church - They’re not perfect. They make mistakes like the rest of us, but these men have earned my trust. I know they’re trying to honor God in their decision and do what’s best for the flock and I’d follow them anywhere.

Verses 8 and 9 - look how clearly Jonathan communicates the plan - clarity is so important. Fight for clarity.

When it’s time to go, Jonathan is in front. He’s not asking his armor bearer to go somewhere he’s not willing to go first. I watched a documentary on this story and they were at the actual location of the battle and this cliff they had to climb just to get to the Philistines was brutal. It was literally 4 points of contact in several places. Then when they finally get to the top, they’ve got to fight. And they’re some bad men - two whip twenty.

Calculated Risk

Good leaders know the appropriate time to take a risk. When we step out in faith for God, it can trigger great victories for the kingdom.

1 Samuel 14:15-23 Suddenly, panic broke out in the Philistine army, both in the camp and in the field, including even the outposts and raiding parties. And just then an earthquake struck, and everyone was terrified.

Israel Defeats the Philistines

16 Saul’s lookouts in Gibeah of Benjamin saw a strange sight—the vast army of Philistines began to melt away in every direction.[c] 17 “Call the roll and find out who’s missing,” Saul ordered. And when they checked, they found that Jonathan and his armor bearer were gone.

18 Then Saul shouted to Ahijah, “Bring the ephod here!” For at that time Ahijah was wearing the ephod in front of the Israelites.[d] 19 But while Saul was talking to the priest, the confusion in the Philistine camp grew louder and louder. So Saul said to the priest, “Never mind; let’s get going!”[e]

20 Then Saul and all his men rushed out to the battle and found the Philistines killing each other. There was terrible confusion everywhere. 21 Even the Hebrews who had previously gone over to the Philistine army revolted and joined in with Saul, Jonathan, and the rest of the Israelites. 22 Likewise, the men of Israel who were hiding in the hill country of Ephraim joined the chase when they saw the Philistines running away. 23 So the Lord saved Israel that day, and the battle continued to rage even beyond Beth-aven.

The Israelite army had been in a stalemate. They were in a vulnerable position. Morale was low and men were defecting to the enemy. You get a sense that Jonathan knew it was a critical time and that it was time to take a risk, to step out in faith.

This first skirmish where Jonathan and his armor bearer kill twenty men becomes the catalyst for a rally and victory. God is involved. He creates an earthquake. He causes panic in the camp. The Philistines actually begin fighting one another. The Israelites who had defected over to the enemy turned back and began fighting for Israel.

This was a risk, but a calculated risk. Jonathan didn’t move forward until he was confident the Lord was with him. We’re not talking about just taking foolish risks, although sometimes God calls us to go against the world’s wisdom like we saw when we studied Joshua’s leadership a couple of weeks ago.

Where is God calling you to take a risk? Do you have believers in your life you can bounce the idea off of like Jonathan did with his armor bearer? So often, there are others who will join in if someone will just take the risk. The men who were hiding in the hill country joined in the fight once they saw the Philistines running away.

Braveheart - Robert the Bruce scene - Now tell me, what does that mean to be noble? Your title gives you claim to the throne of our country, but men don't follow titles, they follow courage. Now our people know you. Noble, and common, they respect you. And if you would just lead them to freedom, they'd follow you. And so would I

Story of young boy at our church who has been leading a small group since he was in 5th grade. Going up to strangers at a park and asking them if they want to join his Bible study. They decline and he just says “no problem. If you change your mind, we’ll be right over here.” That’s courage. That’s a young man people are going to follow.

Psalm 20:7 Some nations boast of their chariots and horses, but we boast in the name of the LORD our God.

It may seem like a risk, but when God is moving and has called us to step out in faith, the real risk is not doing it. It keeps us from seeing him at work. It robs us of that faith milestone where we get to see him do something God-sized.

Principle over Position

Jonathan chose principle over position. Though he was next in line to be king of Israel, he wanted to obey God and he wanted what was best for the nation - even if that meant going against his father and putting his own life in danger.

1 Samuel 18:1-4 After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. 2 From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn’t let him return home. 3 And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself. 4 Jonathan sealed the pact by taking off his robe and giving it to David, together with his tunic, sword, bow, and belt.

David and Jonathan form a tight bond right from the start. They’re both warriors. They’ve both taken risks. God has given them both amazing victories.

1 Samuel 19:1-6 Saul now urged his servants and his son Jonathan to assassinate David. But Jonathan, because of his strong affection for David, 2 told him what his father was planning. “Tomorrow morning,” he warned him, “you must find a hiding place out in the fields. 3 I’ll ask my father to go out there with me, and I’ll talk to him about you. Then I’ll tell you everything I can find out.”

4 The next morning Jonathan spoke with his father about David, saying many good things about him. “The king must not sin against his servant David,” Jonathan said. “He’s never done anything to harm you. He has always helped you in any way he could. 5 Have you forgotten about the time he risked his life to kill the Philistine giant and how the Lord brought a great victory to all Israel as a result? You were certainly happy about it then. Why should you murder an innocent man like David? There is no reason for it at all!”

6 So Saul listened to Jonathan and vowed, “As surely as the Lord lives, David will not be killed.”

Jonathan stood to be the next King of Israel. David was a threat to that position. The people were already singing songs that Saul had slain thousands and David tens of thousands.

Jonathan acted as a peacemaker between David and Saul and had some momentary success. That is a role that we’re called to as leaders - peacemakers. We should take the initiative to help relationships be reconciled. Families, organizations, teams all function better when relationships are healthy.

Jonathan reprimands the king. Even though it is his father, that still carries risk. Saul could have had him killed.

1 Samuel 20:30-34 Saul boiled with rage at Jonathan. “You stupid son of a whore!”[d] he swore at him. “Do you think I don’t know that you want him to be king in your place, shaming yourself and your mother? 31 As long as that son of Jesse is alive, you’ll never be king. Now go and get him so I can kill him!”

32 “But why should he be put to death?” Jonathan asked his father. “What has he done?” 33 Then Saul hurled his spear at Jonathan, intending to kill him. So at last Jonathan realized that his father was really determined to kill David.

34 Jonathan left the table in fierce anger and refused to eat on that second day of the festival, for he was crushed by his father’s shameful behavior toward David.

Jonathan’s loyalty and doing the right thing put him in physical danger. It caused a tear in his relationship with his father. Jonathan was willing to do the right thing even when it came at a great personal cost.

When Jonathan reports to David that Saul still intends to kill him he says, “May the Lord be with you as he used to be with my father.” Jonathan recognizes God’s plan. He doesn’t try to fight against it even though it means he will not be king. Great leaders put the needs of those they’re leading above their own.

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Most of us aren’t going to be called to take the kind of risks Jonathan took but we will be called to take risks and step out in faith. We need to be looking for opportunities to earn trust from those we lead. Effectively communicating is one very practical way we can do that and not asking them to do something we aren’t willing to do is another.

Intro

We’re going to look at a leader today who had big shoes to fill. Maybe you can relate to that. Joshua was stepping in for Moses. The man who led Israel out of Egypt and was the mediator between the people and Almighty God. I can only imagine the pressure he must have felt as he stepped into that role. Maybe you have a father-in-law that is a spiritual giant and you feel like you’ll never live up as you try to lead your family. Maybe in the corporate world, you’ve just stepped into a new position and you have big shoes to fill. Whatever it is, I think there are some lessons we can learn today that will help you and encourage you.

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In the Face of Adversity

Joshua focused on the character and power of God not the circumstances around him. He knew God would deliver on his promises. Godly leaders stand on God’s truth in the face of adversity.

Numbers 14:5-12 Then Moses and Aaron fell face down on the ground before the whole community of Israel. 6 Two of the men who had explored the land, Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, tore their clothing. 7 They said to all the people of Israel, “The land we traveled through and explored is a wonderful land! 8 And if the Lord is pleased with us, he will bring us safely into that land and give it to us. It is a rich land flowing with milk and honey. 9 Do not rebel against the Lord, and don’t be afraid of the people of the land. They are only helpless prey to us! They have no protection, but the Lord is with us! Don’t be afraid of them!”But the whole community began to talk about stoning Joshua and Caleb. Then the glorious presence of the Lord appeared to all the Israelites at the Tabernacle.[a] 11 And the Lord said to Moses, “How long will these people treat me with contempt? Will they never believe me, even after all the miraculous signs I have done among them? 12 I will disown them and destroy them with a plague. Then I will make you into a nation greater and mightier than they are!”

Set context for the scene. Moses had sent out twelve spies to scout out the promised land.

Only Joshua and Caleb want to move forward and take the promised land. Talk about harsh criticism - the rest of the people wanted to stone them. Stone them! Now that’s a high pressure situation.

Story of students who left the classroom and all of the other students were clued in to answer incorrectly to a specific question. By the end of it the vast majority of the students who were out of the room just followed along with the crowd.

Joshua and Caleb knew God was on their side. They weren’t the underdogs. The other nations didn’t stand a chance. Always bugs me when people call the story of David and Goliath an underdog story. David wasn’t the underdog. The Lord God Almighty was fighting with him. Goliath was the underdog and he got smoked.

Do you know God’s promises? The only reason Joshua and Caleb weren’t suicidal maniacs is they knew God had promised they would inherit the land.

His promise to never leave you or forsake you.

His promise to forgive our sins when we confess them.

His promise to work all things out for our good.

Side note: We can’t hold God to promises he never made - prosperity gospel

We need to stand when everyone around us is critical. I’ve come to grips with the fact that there could be a time in my life when I go to prison for speaking God’s truth. I hope that’s not the case. I don’t know what God has in store for our nation. But if something doesn’t change, I can see myself being accused of hate speech when I teach what God’s Word says about marriage, the sanctity of life, transgenderism, etc.

Not allowing sleepovers for our kids, canceling cable - not saying God has put that conviction on everyone and not judging, but for us, we knew it was something God had called us to do and we took quite a bit of teasing and flak from family

When It Goes Against the World

Joshua was careful to obey the Lord’s commands. Leading well sometimes means going against the world’s wisdom.

Joshua 6:1-5 Now the gates of Jericho were tightly shut because the people were afraid of the Israelites. No one was allowed to go out or in. 2 But the Lord said to Joshua, “I have given you Jericho, its king, and all its strong warriors. 3 You and your fighting men should march around the town once a day for six days. 4 Seven priests will walk ahead of the Ark, each carrying a ram’s horn. On the seventh day you are to march around the town seven times, with the priests blowing the horns. 5 When you hear the priests give one long blast on the rams’ horns, have all the people shout as loud as they can. Then the walls of the town will collapse, and the people can charge straight into the town.”

Can you imagine the reaction to the military leaders when Joshua shared the battle plan the Lord had given them? We’re going to march around the city in broad daylight. We’re not going to talk. We’re not going to charge the city. We’re going to walk around, we’re going to do that for six days. Then on the 7th day, we’re going to walk around 7 times and then we’re going to shout and the city will be ours. What? What kind of battle plan is that?

Finances - the world’s wisdom vs. God’s wisdom

Chik-Fil-A not open on Sundays - goes against world’s wisdom

The Playbook

God’s Word instructs us on how to lead well. God told Joshua he would be successful if he didn’t deviate from the instructions God had given. God wants us to be strong and courageous, and he will equip us to lead.

Joshua 1:6-9“Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. 8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. 9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua is told three times by God to be strong and courageous and one time by the people. He is also told three times that God is with him. Why is this so important? This was going to be a daunting task. He’s filling in for the greatest leader Israel had ever known. He’s leading upwards of 1 million people into a land inhabited by people much stronger and more powerful. He’s leading a group of people that are stubborn and hard to lead. They’re quick to rebel.

We’re not leading the sheer magnitude of numbers that Joshua led, but I feel like our task is just as daunting. We’re trying to raise kids who love and honor God in a culture that is increasingly hostile to God and his truth. We’re trying to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Some of us are leading employees. We’re trying to balance profitability with compassion and care for those we employ. If we lead in ministry, we’re trying to balance truth and love as we shepherd a broken flock. - So be strong and courageous! God is with you!

Spend time in his Word. Meditate on it. 2 Timothy 3:16 - All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. -It’s useful. How encouraging that is for me as a leader. We all know what it’s like to have resources that are useful.

Psalm 1 Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers.2 But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. 3They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season.Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.

What an encouragement to us as men as we seek to lead. When we meditate on God’s Word, we’ll bear fruit. We’ll be able to withstand the storms of life. Bearing fruit benefits those around us. They can seek refuge in our shade. There is protection.

Set the Tone

Joshua knew he couldn’t control the decisions of others and he couldn’t lead people where he wasn’t willing to go. He set the tone by modeling obedience to God and challenged the people to follow.

Joshua 4:14 That day the Lord made Joshua a great leader in the eyes of all the Israelites, and for the rest of his life they revered him as much as they had revered Moses.

God made Joshua a great leader. When we have leadership skills, they are a gift from God. He can work through us to develop skills and become better leaders.

Joshua had already been very careful to obey the Lord’s commands about setting up the 12 stone memorial in the river as they crossed. He honored the permission Moses had given to the two and half tribes that wanted to stay on the east side of the Jordan.

Joshua 24:14-16 Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua had been in all the battles. He’d walked the walk, not just talked the talk. You can’t lead people to a place you’re not willing to go.

I love Joshua’s challenge to the Israelites. Here you go: you’ve got to make a decision. You’ve seen God’s faithfulness. You’ve driven out all these nations you wouldn’t have been able to drive out without God, but you’ve got to make a choice. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.

My son just left for college a week ago. I had to come to grips with the fact that he has to make that decision for himself as to whether or not he’s going to follow the Lord. I can model it. I can talk about God’s faithfulness. I can remind him of God’s love and I can declare that I’m going to follow God, but I can’t make him do that.

It’s the same challenge I would give to our listeners today. You can listen to great sermons, you can listen to podcasts like this one, but no one else can make that decision for you. You have to decide if you’re going to serve the Lord.

Intro

Leading well is something every man should desire to do. God took a reluctant leader in Moses and used him to bring the entire nation of Israel out of slavery in Egypt.

We’re starting a new series today on the podcast and the focus is going to be on leadership. We’re going to be looking at several characters from the Bible and lessons we can learn from them about leading well. I know some of you may be tempted to tune out. You might think, “I’m not a leader.” Maybe you’re an introvert or maybe you would say you’re socially awkward or not an effective communicator. If that describes you, please stick around. I think the Bible would challenge that attitude. We’re going to kick off this series by looking at Moses. And though we’re calling it “Lead like Moses”, we’re going to start by learning from some of Moses’ mistakes so that we don’t repeat them. Moses shows us that we can grow in our leadership and early failures don't mean God can't use us. If you define leadership as simply getting others to go where you want them to go, Moses had to be one of the greatest leaders of all time.

Moses: Overcoming reluctance

Joshua: Sticking to it

Jonathan: Earning trust

Jesus: Serving humbly

Calling All Men

God can use anyone, regardless of your past. God isn’t calling all of us to lead large groups of people, but he is calling all of us to lead our families if we’re married, and lead at least one other person in discipleship.

Exodus 2:11-12 Many years later, when Moses had grown up, he went out to visit his own people, the Hebrews, and he saw how hard they were forced to work. During his visit, he saw an Egyptian beating one of his fellow Hebrews. 12 After looking in all directions to make sure no one was watching, Moses killed the Egyptian and hid the body in the sand.

Background on Moses’ birth, cultural context of israelites after the time of Joseph.

I don’t know what mistakes you’ve made in life, but I would imagine they fall short of murdering someone. God still had a plan to use Moses.

Romans 12:8 If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously.

Paul recognizes that one of the spiritual gifts is leadership. He says, “If” God has given you leadership. That implies that not everyone has that spiritual gift. Not everyone is called to lead large groups of people. But, if we do have it, we need to take the responsibility seriously. How many men are recognized as leaders in their community or in their profession, but fail to lead at home? They fail to lead in their church. If you sense God has given you the gift of leadership, exercise that gift. Doesn’t mean we base leadership positions in the church using the same criteria the world uses. God judges the heart. The world looks at the outward appearance.

This is one of the reasons I’m in ministry. I’ve always been what I could call a reluctant leader. Captain of the football team in high school, even though I wasn’t the most gifted player, president of the show choir in high school even though I wasn’t the most gifted singer, led small groups by default, recruiting and led 1800 sales professionals in previous career and yet, if it was up to me, I’d stay in the shadows. I was challenged by Christian men who recognized I had the gift of leadership to take the responsibility seriously.

Ephesians 5:23-34 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Though we’re not all called to lead large groups of people, all men are called to lead in the home if you’re married. All men are called to lead at least one other person in discipleship. The great commission.

Who Am I?

Don’t make excuses. When God calls you to lead, he’ll equip you to lead. He can use your shortcomings to bring more glory to himself as you lead. Our obedience is more important than our giftings when it comes to leadership.

Exodus 3:11-14 But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?”12 God answered, “I will be with you. And this is your sign that I am the one who has sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God at this very mountain.”13 But Moses protested, “If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’ they will ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what should I tell them?”

14 God replied to Moses, “I am who i am.[d] Say this to the people of Israel: I am has sent me to you.” 15 God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: Yahweh,[e] the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.This is my eternal name, my name to remember for all generations.

Moses didn’t think God had the right guy. He was scared. You’re going to see a lot of “what ifs” coming from Moses at the beginning. Leadership is scary. I actually think that is one of the blessings of leadership. It keeps us very aware of our dependence on God. Wrong choices have bigger consequences when others are involved and people are following us.

Story about starting to lock doors after I got married

Exodus 4:1-5But Moses protested again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’?”2 Then the Lord asked him, “What is that in your hand?”“A shepherd’s staff,” Moses replied.3 “Throw it down on the ground,” the Lord told him. So Moses threw down the staff, and it turned into a snake! Moses jumped back.4 Then the Lord told him, “Reach out and grab its tail.” So Moses reached out and grabbed it, and it turned back into a shepherd’s staff in his hand.5 “Perform this sign,” the Lord told him. “Then they will believe that the Lord, the God of their ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—really has appeared to you.”

Moses continues to come up with excuses and “what ifs” . In verse 10 he says he gets tongue tied and his words get tangled. He repeats this fear about being a clumsy speaker in chapter 6 verse 12 after one of the first confrontations with Pharoah. Interestingly, he wasn’t a clumsy communicator - Acts 7:21-22 When they had to abandon him, Pharaoh’s daughter adopted him and raised him as her own son. 22 Moses was taught all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and he was powerful in both speech and action. This statement was made about Moses before God called him to lead his people. Sometimes when we allow fear to creep in, we have a distorted view of the giftings God has given us. We’re not talking about becoming prideful. Any gifts we do have are from God and he deserves the honor and glory.

1 Corinthians 1:27 Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.

Exodus 4:20-26 Moses took his wife and sons, put them on a donkey, and headed back to the land of Egypt. In his hand he carried the staff of God.

21 And the Lord told Moses, “When you arrive back in Egypt, go to Pharaoh and perform all the miracles I have empowered you to do. But I will harden his heart so he will refuse to let the people go. 22 Then you will tell him, ‘This is what the Lord says: Israel is my firstborn son. 23 I commanded you, “Let my son go, so he can worship me.” But since you have refused, I will now kill your firstborn son!’”

24 On the way to Egypt, at a place where Moses and his family had stopped for the night, the Lord confronted him and was about to kill him. 25 But Moses’ wife, Zipporah, took a flint knife and circumcised her son. She touched his feet[b] with the foreskin and said, “Now you are a bridegroom of blood to me.” 26 (When she said “a bridegroom of blood,” she was referring to the circumcision.) After that, the Lord left him alone.

This is one of those stories that seems to pop up out of nowhere. We read it and we’re like, what? God was going to kill Moses? It reminds us of just how serious sin is.

Moses hadn’t circumcised his sons. This was a clear violation of the covenant between God and the Jewish people. Luckily, his wife, who wasn’t even Jewish, recognized what needed to be done. Commentary - maybe she was the one originally who had protested doing it because it seemed barbaric. Now she sees the seriousness of the calling of Moses, the sacrifice it would mean, and the importance of obedience.

Repetition of “Moses did everything just as the Lord commanded” Littered throughout Exodus and other books of the pentateuch. 7 times in chapter 40 of Exodus alone.

No guarantee that things will go smoothly when we are obedient

If people follow you and where you’re going, where would they end up?

Moses was all in. He took his wife and sons with him. If this backfired, it would put their lives in danger. Safe thing would have been to leave them with Jethro.

Stand in the Gap

Great leaders stand in the gap for those they’re leading. Moses was a buffer between Pharaoh and the Israelites and also a mediator between the Israelites and the Lord.

Exodus 20:18-20 When all the people witnessed the thunder and lightning, the sounding of the ram’s horn, and the mountain enveloped in smoke, they trembled and stood at a distance. 19“Speak to us yourself and we will listen,” they said to Moses. “But do not let God speak to us, or we will die.” 20“Do not be afraid,” Moses replied. “For God has come to test you, so that the fear of Him may be before you, to keep you from sinning.”

Moses was the representative before Pharaoh. He was the mediator between the people and the Lord when they were afraid to have God speak to them directly.

Exodus 32:9-14 Then the Lord said, “I have seen how stubborn and rebellious these people are. 10 Now leave me alone so my fierce anger can blaze against them, and I will destroy them. Then I will make you, Moses, into a great nation.”11 But Moses tried to pacify the Lord his God. “O Lord!” he said. “Why are you so angry with your own people whom you brought from the land of Egypt with such great power and such a strong hand? 12 Why let the Egyptians say, ‘Their God rescued them with the evil intention of slaughtering them in the mountains and wiping them from the face of the earth’? Turn away from your fierce anger. Change your mind about this terrible disaster you have threatened against your people! 13 Remember your servants Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.[a] You bound yourself with an oath to them, saying, ‘I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars of heaven. And I will give them all of this land that I have promised to your descendants, and they will possess it forever.’”14 So the Lord changed his mind about the terrible disaster he had threatened to bring on his people.

Israelites had already caused Moses so much grief. I think it would have been so tempting to say, “Go ahead, God.”

God changes his mind? In his foreknowledge he knew he would relent because he knew how Moses would respond. It’s not really a changing of the mind, but shows how God involves people in accomplishing his plans.

How do you need to stand in the gap for those you lead? At work, at home, at church?

Difficult conversation with homosexual couple that wanted to serve in Kid’s church for my Kid’s Church Director

Helping my wife know it’s OK to say no to things

People don’t care what you know until they know that you care

College Football Coach Mike Gundy sticking up for his quarterback

Praying for those you lead is the most powerful way to stand in the gap for them. That’s what Moses was doing. He was conversing with God, that’s prayer, and he was interceding for the nation of Israel.

Good leaders understand the importance of receiving feedback and delegating responsibility. They exhibit humility in their successes

Exodus 18:14-18 When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, “What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?”15 Moses replied, “Because the people come to me to get a ruling from God. 16 When a dispute arises, they come to me, and I am the one who settles the case between the quarreling parties. I inform the people of God’s decrees and give them his instructions.”17 “This is not good!” Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed. 18 “You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself.

Moses was trying to do it all by himself. Jethro told him how unwise it was, and ultimately, how unproductive. Part of being a great leader is giving leadership away. It’s raising up others and empowering them.

Moses listened to Jethro’s advice. How easy would it have been for Moses to say, “I’m the guy. I’m the one God has called to lead these people.” He was humble. In fact, throughout Moses’ time leading the Israelites, that’s something that jumps out over and over is his humility. Numbers 12:3 (Now Moses was very humble—more humble than any other person on earth.)

How open are you to feedback? What would your wife and kids say? What about subordinates or co-workers at work? How often do you seek feedback?

People don’t care what you know until they know that you care

Close

Leading well is something every man should desire to do. God took a reluctant leader in Moses and used him to bring the entire nation of Israel out of slavery in Egypt.

Moses had a monumental task of leading the Israelites. They were grumblers and complainers. They were stiff necked and rebellious. He was reluctant at first, but he submitted to God’s authority, was careful to obey him, and remained humble. God used him to accomplish amazing things, and he can do the same through you.

We’re tackling a subject today that our granddads never really dealt with, our dads most likely didn’t deal with it, but it seems to be in our face and in the faces of our children on a daily basis - and that is the issue of gender. Are there two genders? Is gender just a social construct? Can I change my gender if I feel like I’m not really the gender that I was born as? These are questions that no one was even asking just a few decades ago.

The PursueGOD Men's podcast helps guys apply God's Word to their lives to become full circle followers of Jesus. Join us for a new men's episode every other Thursday.

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We look to God and his Word in all that we do. So what does God’s Word have to say about gender? 2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. - His Word is useful. It corrects us when we’re wrong, and there are a lot of people who are wrong on this issue of gender.

In the beginning, God created them male and female. This was before the fall and God said it was very good. The differences between male and female should be celebrated, not diminished.

Genesis 1:27-28 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

God’s design, his perfect design, was two genders; male and female. This was his original, perfect plan. Both are created in the image of God. Both have immeasurable worth and value. They are of equal worth and dignity, but they are not the same. They complement one another. Eve is described as Adam’s help mate. The differences between male and female are good. They are for our benefit. They should be celebrated, not diminished.

God’s command to be fruitful and multiply could only be carried out because of the two distinct genders and their roles in procreation.

Genesis 1:31 Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!

When God looked over the creation earlier in the creation story, it was good at the end of each day. It wasn’t until God created humankind that it was very good! The differences between male and female are part of what made it very good!

I’m so thankful women aren’t exactly like men. I can guarantee you my kids are thankful. Their mom brings strengths to our family as a result of her femininity that I don’t have. And my wife is kind of a tomboy. That’s probably a politically incorrect term nowadays. She rides motorcycles. She’d rather wear pants than a dress. She likes shooting guns. But she still brings a nurturing, a compassion, and an empathy that I lack. I know some of that is more personality related than gender, but not all of it. Studies show that, on average, women are more nurturing than men. Women are more compassionate than men. They typically have more empathy.

Genesis 6:17-21 Look! I am about to cover the earth with a flood that will destroy every living thing that breathes. Everything on earth will die. 18 But I will confirm my covenant with you. So enter the boat—you and your wife and your sons and their wives. 19 Bring a pair of every kind of animal—a male and a female—into the boat with you to keep them alive during the flood. 20 Pairs of every kind of bird, and every kind of animal, and every kind of small animal that scurries along the ground, will come to you to be kept alive.

The flood was sort of the great reset and once again, we see the importance of male and female - Noah and his sons and their wives, male and female from each kind of animal.

The reality is if you put 50 biological men or 50 biological women on an island, regardless of what they identify as, that whole population will die out in one generation. There is no way to create offspring without the two, distinct genders being present.

Our gender is determined at conception. God has a plan and purpose for our life before we take our first breath. When we trust our feelings over what God has declared to be true, we are essentially declaring that we know better than the perfect, holy God who created us.

Psalm 139:13-16 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.15You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

This is one of the most powerful passages in scripture to me. God has made me wonderfully complex. His workmanship is marvelous. If you’re struggling with gender identity, you need to know that God has created you wonderfully complex. He saw you before you were born. He has a purpose and a plan for your life.

Any attempt to alter how God created you is rebelling against his plan and usurping his authority. It is saying, “I know better than God does. He got it wrong!” That has to be one of the most arrogant, prideful stances we can take. Think of what that would look like if we did that in other areas of our life. God, I know you said don’t steal, but I’m pretty sure I feel like I deserve this thing and I can’t afford to buy it. God I know you said marriage was a lifelong commitment, but I don’t feel like my spouse loves me and I know you want me to be happy so I’m going to bail on my marriage.

Jeremiah 17:9 The human heart is the most deceitful of all things and desperately wicked, who really knows how bad it is?

We live in a culture that says, “Follow your heart. Do what makes you happy.” The Bible says our heart is the last thing we should be following. It is desperately wicked. It leads us astray all of the time. Your heart says you don’t feel warm and fuzzy for your spouse any more so it’s time to move on. Your heart wants to sleep with your boyfriend or girlfriend before you’re married. Your heart wants instant gratification. We have to trust in the truth of God’s Word over our own thoughts, feelings, and opinions - very definition of sin.

God not only has plans and purposes for us individually, he has distinctive roles for men and women in the church and in the home. We see different roles listed in both the OT and NT. Priests were men only. If a person would have identified as a male, would they have been qualified to be a priest? In the NT, there are different instructions to men and women.

Deuteronomy 22:5 A woman must not put on men’s clothing, and a man must not wear women’s clothing. Anyone who does this is detestable in the sight of the LORD your God.

This prohibition of altering gender is not limited to surgery or hormone blockers. Men are not to dress as women, women are not to dress as men. That doesn’t mean women can’t wear pants - It’s common in our culture for women to wear pants. Pants aren’t considered “men’s clothing” in our culture. Wouldn’t forbid a man to wear a kilt in a culture where men commonly wear kilts. It’s not women’s clothing in that culture.

Romans 1:24 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. 29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. 31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy.

Love rejoices in the truth. Truth matters, and this is a topic that calls us to speak truth. We need to speak it gracefully and with compassion, but we also need to speak it unashamedly. God calls us to protect the weak and vulnerable.

1 Corinthians 13:6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

This comes from the famous “love” passage you’ve probably heard recited at a wedding ceremony. The “it” in verse 6 is love. Love rejoices in the truth. When we truly love someone, we want them to know truth. We want to speak truth.

James 1:27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

Why is this so important? In that culture, orphans and widows were the most vulnerable. We have a calling to protect the weak and vulnerable. Our children are being attacked by an agenda that is trying to destroy Biblical teaching. I don’t think it’s an overstatement to say this is an organized attack straight from the pit of hell. Our battles aren’t against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces, principalities, and evils of this dark world.

What’s the harm? First, the harm is it’s rebellion against God. That never ends well. There are always consequences for sin. The Bible tells us the wages of sin are death. There is also physical harm. Children who are making decisions about their bodies that are often irreversible at an age when they can’t legally drive, they can’t vote, they can’t smoke or drink alcohol and yet we’re allowing them to make these decisions.

Don’t be apathetic. Don’t be slothful like we talked about on the last episode of the podcast. Engage with your children on this issue. They’re hearing about it non-stop from culture, social media, their peers. Speak truth into their lives. Resources at pursueGod to help you.

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Where we talk about the final module for The Pursuit... and how you, too, can make disciples who make disciples. Find it at pursueGOD.org/go.

Where we walk through topics 7 through 9 in the 12-part series called The Pursuit. This is a fast track overview of the third module of the flagship discipleship track at pursueGOD.org/go.

Where we walk through topics 4 through 6 in the 12-part series called The Pursuit. This is a fast track overview of the second module of the flagship discipleship track at pursueGOD.org/go.

Where we walk through the first three topics in the 12-part series called The Pursuit. This is a fast track overview of the first module of the flagship discipleship track at pursueGOD.org/go.

Excerpt: Many small group leaders must deal with people who dominate the discussion during a meeting. Here are a few tips for dealing with a dominator.

• A common problem many small group leaders face is dealing with people who dominate the discussion time during the meeting. 
• Dominators like to contribute their insights early and often to every question. 
• They often speak up before others have a chance to say anything and often give long rambling answers to questions.
• There is a limited time available for each question and dominators tend to take up most of the time with their own contributions rather than allowing others in the group to participate.
• When denominators are allowed to continue unchecked in a small group setting it will likely lead less vocal people to check out, become passive or eventually leave the group in frustration.
• If you let a dominator go unchecked, people will become discouraged. Eventually they will drop out of the group. Worse than that, they won’t be able to process the truth together with the group and their pursuit of God will be stunted.
• Before you were leading your own small group, have  you experienced a SGD as a member of  a group? Explain. How did it make you feel?
• Have you ever been in a small group where the host was the dominator? Be sure as a host you’re not dominating the conversation

Set discussion ground rules

• At the outset of your group make sure to set up the expectation that you want lots of participation from everyone in the group which means giving everyone an opportunity to share. You can speak directly to the issue of conversation domination before it becomes an issue so that everyone is aware.
• As the group continues, remind people occasionally at the beginning of each meeting’s discussion time of the importance of everyone participating and not having one person speak too much.
• If domination becomes an issue, say at the beginning of each meeting something like “I want to make sure everyone has a chance to talk tonight, so let’s give everyone an opportunity to share before anyone speaks twice.” When this encouragement is given broadly to everyone it helps the dominator not feel singled out or offended but hopefully to understand the issue.
• Transition: Easier said than done b/c if this worked we would not be having this discussion. =)
• In tougher situations, I will make myself available for a small, quiet side conversation in the moment, while Rich continues to lead the group.  I do my best to wrap up quickly with something like “let’s dig more into this later” and then rejoin the larger group conversation with the dominator.

Use gentle correction and/or humor

• If a dominator hasn’t picked up on the ground rules, sometimes using more direct tactics can be necessary during the discussion.
• If you need to address the dominator directly during the meeting, it can be done so gently, casually and using light-hearted humor.
• You could say something like “Now, I want to make sure everyone has an opportunity to respond, so who else has a thought?” or “Okay, Bill has already used up his answer allowance for this week, so someone else needs to step up.”
• Talk about some personal examples you have experienced as a leader or member of a group…
• Other ideas?
• In our group now, we like to choose at least one question where we ask everyone to answer.  Usually an easy question early in the conversation about “what jumped out at you about this topic” or “how did you most relate to this message”.  We have found if we begin with getting everyone talking, it is easier to keep everyone talking.

A few more tricks up the sleeve

Call on specific people

• If a dominator is usually quick to answer a question first, you can try calling on specific people by name to answer a question.
• After asking a question say something like “John, what do you think about this one,” or “Let’s hear from one of the ladies (opposite gender of dominator) on this one.”
• Has anyone had success with this? Talk about it.
• Kills two birds w/ one stone i.e. challenges your silent types to chime in.

Use body language

• Often a dominator will look to make eye contact with the leader during the discussion and as soon as they lock eyes they will start speaking.
• A simple tip is to look the opposite way of the dominator when asking a question and try to avoid direct eye contact.
• Another effective method is to try and sit right next to the dominator during the discussion which makes it much more difficult for him/her to make eye contact with you and begin speaking.
• Talk about a situation where you have tried this… was  it effective?
• Before we move on to the last straw, does anyone have other creative solutions they have tried or even thought about trying? Talk about it.
• I’ve been in some larger small groups where we have broken up into smaller groups for portions of the group, this can allow the dominator to be grouped with some of the stronger people who don’t mind speaking up along with or even over them sometimes.  And then allows some of the quieter folks a chance to share in a smaller setting.
• For the people in a group who are quieter or more reluctant to share, I do my best to encourage them and praise them any time they do share!  If we can cultivate an environment where everyone feels safe and confident to share, we can shut down a dominator before they even have a chance to make an issue.

The last straw

Talk to the dominator privately

• Sometimes if a dominator fails to pick up on all the clues you’ve given as the leader it may be necessary to talk to them privately about the issue.
• When you talk to them, give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they’re simply not aware of their pattern rather than sounding accusatory.
• Encourage them that you appreciate their participation and eagerness to to share but remind them of the importance of giving everyone an opportunity to participate.
• Assure them that you don’t want them to stop participating, but give them some guidelines like letting others share first, limiting their responses to one minute or less or waiting until you make eye contact with them to share.
• Maybe the dominator does not get a lot of opportunity to share about their faith outside of small group.  If possible, make time to meet with them for coffee, or have them over for dinner, or even just call or text them during the week..  If you can provide and encourage an additional outlet, maybe they will naturally have less to say during small group, because some of it will already have been said.

Close

• So don’t let one dominator derail your group and peoples pursuit of God! Develop the courage and skill to deal with the dominator! With some leadership from you,  your dominator can quickly move from a liability to an asset for your small group!