It’s officially swim gym season, and the opening class happened last night in my backyard pool. If you’ve followed me for a while, you know every year about this time, I get fired up because the pool has finally warmed up enough that I can get in without chattering. David had to watch as a bunch of women in plus-size swimsuits took over his beautifully maintained pool, taking it down those pool stairs one careful step at a time.

Meanwhile, Remi’s back from school, Rocco’s planning a cruise without us, and I’m trying to figure out if Shep’s new toy is a frog or a turtle. We’ve settled on calling it turtle frog, though frog rolls off the tongue better when you’re yelling “go get your frog” across the house. Also, David may have misquoted Spinal Tap [it was Queen, btw] and broken into song three times in the first few minutes, which I politely asked him to dial back.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“Poor David has to look out at the pool that he so beautifully has doctored and made it absolutely crystal clear and see a bunch of women walking into the pool in plus-size swim dresses, taking it one step at a time.”

Setting the scene for what swim gym opening night actually looks like

“When the swim dress goes in, it kind of goes up and it floats up. And that’s your personal space, you know.”

The logistics of water aerobics that nobody talks about

TIMESTAMPS

0:00 - Technical difficulties and Melissa looking Amish

2:30 - Shep’s turtle frog toy mystery solved

4:00 - Swim gym season is officially here

5:15 - The exclusive membership requirements explained

7:45 - David’s perspective on pool takeover

10:20 - Swim dress logistics and personal space

12:30 - Remi’s back from Arkansas updates

15:45 - Rocco’s first solo cruise announcement

18:00 - Family dynamics and independence

22:15 - Three questions game begins

25:30 - David’s surprising Spinal Tap reference

28:45 - Melissa breaks into song again

31:00 - Pool maintenance meets water aerobics

34:57 - Wrap up and what’s next

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW AND SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe

SHOW NOTES

Car accidents, driving records, Melissa’s full history of vehicular incidents, and the definitive marriage debate over who is the Passenger Princess and who is the Driver Douche. EP 77 covers a lot of ground, and all of it is moving.

Melissa was in a serious car accident when a woman ran a stop sign and hit David’s truck. Shep was in the vehicle and flew across to the door. Melissa was taken by ambulance. Remi texted from home to ask what really happened because she knows her mother’s track record. That track record gets its full airing this episode: the first day of tenth grade, when she plowed into a truck while reaching for her lipstick, dragging a large black dog the entire length of Timberland Drive on a Friday night drag, and running over a full-size console television that fell off the back of a truck and sent sparks everywhere. David then presents his own list. The Passenger Princess segment covers everything from sleeping between driveways to refusing gas-station food to asking David to put her in the car like Kevin Costner did Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard, which he obliged at the Piggly Wiggly. The sketch closes with accident-report phrases that also sound like marriage milestones.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“You might be a Passenger Princess if you are asleep between home and the church. You might be a Driver Douche if you listen to a business audiobook on 1.75x speed while your wife is trying to sleep.”

Melissa and David, presenting both sides of the argument

“David would put his hand on top of my head and push me into the car like Kevin Costner did with Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard. It doesn’t have the same luster when you ask him to do it at the Piggly Wiggly.”

Melissa, on the celebrity car entry ritual that did not survive the suburbs

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe

SHOW NOTES

Remi in Washington, DC, GLP-1 perfume addiction, a viral TikTok about homely children, and Melissa asking her Aunt Melba on a packed MD Anderson elevator if they were still going to shower together when they got back to the hotel. Welcome to the Plethora Episode.Remi has been accepted into a National Security seminar in Washington, DC, alongside attorneys, former law enforcement officers, and Ivy League students. Gene's instructions were specific: if Trump asks you to be his intern, say no sir, and walk off. A woman on GLP-1 told her doctor she had become addicted to perfume, and he said she was his fifth patient to say that. Melissa then listed every scented product currently in her bathtub, bedroom, and laundry room. Melissa's 4.5 million-view TikTok about whether parents know if their child is homely reached what David now calls the Cuckoo Ring, the outermost layer of viewers who arrive just to be angry. A fan named Gracie left Pixel Perfect photo magnets in Melissa's green room after a speaking event in Katy, Texas. David set up the joke so well that Melissa did not notice it for two full minutes. The episode closes with a collection of social bits you can use in awkward situations, including elevator button etiquette and the art of the completely unrelated, speaking of which.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“Poppy told me that if I happen to bump into Trump and he asks me to be his intern, I’m supposed to say, no sir, and turn around and walk off.”

Remi, relaying Gene’s very specific Washington, D.C. instructions

“She goes to her doctor and says, I’ve actually recently become addicted to perfume. And he says, yeah, that happens a lot. She says, wait, what? And he says, “ You’re probably my fifth patient to tell me that.”

Melissa, on the GLP-1 perfume addiction story that described her life perfectly

LINKS MENTIONED

🎵 Melissa's Viral TikTok - Do Parents Know If Their Child Is Homely?: bit.ly/HomelyKids

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

Also Mentioned This Episode

🧲 Pixel Perfect Magnets by Gracie (custom photo magnets): pixelperfectmagnets.com

📺 The Chestnut Man on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81039388

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe

SHOW NOTES

Summer jobs, work ethic, first job horror stories, and the moment Rocco called into the podcast live from his pressure washing route. EP 75 is equal parts proud parent moment and Melissa cataloging every job she has ever lost.

Rocco started a business called Dirty Work. He door-knocked his neighborhood after school, built a client list, and is washing trash cans, power washing driveways, cleaning gutters, removing junk, and flipping anything he thinks has a second life on Facebook Marketplace. He called in live mid-episode from the road. Meanwhile Melissa walks through her own career history: babysitting until the parents found her asleep on the couch, Grandy’s Fried Chicken where cold corn juice ran down her chin from lilting trash can, the Belmont computer lab where she had to report a man looking at something she had never seen before on a screen, working for her own father until he kicked her awake under his desk and fired her at lunch, and a stretch at the YMCA that ended when she advised a member to just go try Jenny Craig next door instead. This is the only job she has not been let go from. David confirms this.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“I lifted that trash can and I did not have the upper body strength and it started tilting and corn juice and cold gravy ran out, down my chin and into my shirt. I asked my parents that night if I could quit and my mother said absolutely not.”

Melissa, on her first real job at Grandy’s Fried Chicken

“This is the only job Melissa has ever had that she has not been fired from. So don’t miss out. That’s because my name’s on the side.”

David and Melissa, closing out EP 75

LINKS MENTIONED

💧 Dirty Work - Trash Bin Cleaning, Pressure Washing and More: DirtyWork.Services

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:

• Weekday POV Audio Messages

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Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe

SHOW NOTES

Melissa’s mom broke her hip at her chemo appointment at MD Anderson. The safe in their Marriott hotel room was opened and her jewelry was taken. The Pottery Barn furniture delivery went to the wrong city. And somehow Gene and Annette handled all of it better than Melissa handles a bad hair day.

This episode tells the full story: the surgery, the jewelry, and Tony the hotel security officer who spent the better part of an hour stalling and sending Melissa’s dad upstairs and back downstairs and to the lobby counter before walking over to a plain cardboard box in the corner of the office and producing everything. Tony had known the whole time.

The Pottery Barn truck pulls up at the family home in Lufkin while the entire family is gathered at the house on the phone with various people about the hotel situation. Melissa’s dad, on the phone from Houston, somehow senses the truck before anyone says a word. The episode closes with a TikTok couple quiz and Melissa ordering herself a shirt that says First of all, Jesus thinks I’m a delight.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“My parents can handle a day like that ten times better than I can handle a Tuesday. If I wake up and my hair decides to go left when I wanted it to go right, somebody is going to know about it.”

Melissa, on the gap between her parents’ grace and her own

“I’m going to need someone who works for the Marriott Corporation to contact me. I mean it. Like, [email protected] I want to hear from you.”

Melissa, putting it on record

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:

• Weekday POV Audio Messages

• Twice-monthly We’re Here for You Wednesday advice podcasts

• Monthly paid-only posts

• Community access for real conversation

Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe

SHOW NOTES

Car shopping, major purchase negotiations, and thirty years of evidence that Melissa and David approach money completely differently. EP 73 is one long case study in how two people who love each other can be on entirely different planets at a car lot.

They have been to three dealerships. Melissa gets out and starts opening doors on every car she passes. David watches with the face of a man who has seen this before. Early in their marriage Melissa got into a stranger’s car at a Dallas lot and did not notice until the man tapped her on the shoulder from the back seat. This week a pastor from their church leaned into the test drive window and told her he doesn’t see her in a Kia. Three different people have now said this. Nobody will explain what it means. David wants to build an app to analyze the data. Melissa wants a Ford Expedition like Big Darla. The episode also covers the $100 purchase rule they made as newlyweds, the two Eddie Bauer bikes Melissa brought home from Target without warning, the LG refrigerator David bought alone that has never worked right, and a sketch segment where they try to hold water in their mouths and make each other laugh.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“I get out of the car and I am like a mosquito at a nude beach. I know what I want to do but I don’t know where to start.”

Melissa, describing her approach to a car lot

“He tapped me on the shoulder and said he “I have loved this car for many years. My wife is inside working out a deal on another one. I’m really happy with this one.” There was a man. In the back seat. With his child.”

Melissa, on the 1995 Dallas car lot incident

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:

• Weekday POV Audio Messages

• Twice-monthly We’re Here for You Wednesday advice podcasts

• Monthly paid-only posts

• Community access for real conversation

Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe

SHOW NOTES

Hammer pants, comfort shows, manic TikTok lives, a school bus that almost got hit by a train, and a hospital board that Zoomed a woman while she was in active labor. EP 72 is one of those episodes that goes everywhere and somehow all of it works.

It starts with Remi sending Melissa a photo of a Twilight vampire and saying her hair looks like it and then somehow arrives at David confessing he owned a pair of hammer pants despite growing up in a house where secular music was not allowed. From there: why manic TV families get more eyeballs than calm ones, Remi’s comfort show being Modern Family because she says it feels like living in her own house, Melissa’s comfort shows being Andy Griffith, Golden Girls, Three’s Company, and Law and Order SVU which she has fully committed to.

The second half gets into things we are now watching live on camera that probably shouldn’t be including a Kendra Scott TikTok live that had people genuinely worried, a Florida school bus driver who told her students she wasn’t waiting for a train and almost got the back of the bus clipped, and a hospital board of directors that made a patient join a Zoom meeting while she was in active labor. The episode closes with Melissa and David learning to play Tilt and Shout from TikTok Shop in real time, which does not go smoothly.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“My comfort shows are Andy Griffith, Golden Girls, Three’s Company, and Law and Order SVU. In the criminal justice system, the people are represented — I’m like, in the nap and wake up comforted. Those are their stories.”

Melissa, defending her comfort show lineup

“Remi says Modern Family feels like going to sleep while everyone is just talking and visiting in the living room. And she is not wrong. There is no other couple on television more like us than Mitch and Cam. I will let y’all decide who’s who.”

Melissa, and David is not thrilled about the comparison

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:

• Weekday POV Audio Messages

• Twice-monthly We’re Here for You Wednesday advice podcasts

• Monthly paid-only posts

• Community access for real conversation

Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe

SHOW NOTES

Five Easter services, a new blue dress, backstage Chick-fil-A, and four grease stains before the second service even started. EP 71 is the post-Easter debrief and Melissa has a lot to report.

Melissa found the most beautiful high-waisted blue Easter dress, wore it to the Good Friday service, ate a Chick-fil-A sandwich backstage, dropped a piece of chicken, and watched a friend’s attempt to retrieve it make everything worse. By the time it was over there were four grease stains and a few orange barbecue specks that no one knows where they came from. She finished out Easter weekend in last year’s dress from TikTok Shop. After five services, dress rehearsals, and hosting 35 people for Easter lunch, David and Melissa took a matinee break to see Project Hail Mary — four people in the entire theater, popcorn layered with butter, and both giddy about it. The episode also covers garage crying as a legitimate reset strategy, Melissa’s Dad having pre-planned his entire funeral including pallbearers who may need to be replaced, and a sketch segment where each of them sells an ordinary adult outing like a late-night infomercial.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“You flick the garage light off, you sit in your car, you pick up your favorite ice cream, and you cry about anything. Your marriage, your children, your parents. That is Garage Crying and it is for sale today.”

Melissa, presenting her revolutionary reset product

“My dad picked out the casket, the room, the songs, and six pallbearers. I asked him about it recently and he said, well, I may need to go back up there because everybody might drop dead before I do.”

Melissa, on Gene’s funeral pre-planning

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:

• Weekday POV Audio Messages

• Twice-monthly We’re Here for You Wednesday advice podcasts

• Monthly paid-only posts

• Community access for real conversation

Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe

SHOW NOTES

Nostalgia, Hymns, Baskin-Robbins with Gene and Annette, and a prank phone call to Melissa’s Dad that he absolutely did not see coming. EP 70 is one of the sweetest episodes in a while and it sneaks up on you.

It starts with jingles and the way a smell or a song can drop you back into a memory before you even see it coming. Then Melissa tells the story of driving her mom home from MD Anderson and looking over to check and see that the little mole on her chest is still there — the same one she used to touch as a little girl when she laid her head on her mama. Friday turned into a ramen run with Gene and Annette that required nerve pills in the backseat because her parents were already at each other’s throats before they even pulled out of the driveway. Then David’s brother Bobby came over on Saturday, and they had an old fashioned singin’ — hymns, four part harmony, her Dad requesting Great Is Thy Faithfulness, and a room that felt genuinely holy. David closes it out by waking Melissa up with Tommee Profitt’s new album Resurrection of a King playing beside her head. The episode ends with Melissa pranking her dad into asking what’s the matter, daddy — and Gene delivered perfectly.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“My dad said, ‘don’t ever say your dad didn’t take you out for a scoop.’ And I just fell over laughing. What are we, Ozzie and Harriet?”

Melissa, on ice cream at Baskin-Robbins with Gene

“Those were the good old days — I hate when people say that. The good old days can be right now, depending on how you live your life and what you do with it.”

Melissa, on making memories in the middle of hard seasons

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

Also Mentioned This Episode

🎵 Tommee Profitt - Resurrection of a King (New Album): tommeeprofitt.lnk.to/troak

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:

• Weekday POV Audio Messages

• Twice-monthly We’re Here for You Wednesday advice podcasts

• Monthly paid-only posts

• Community access for real conversation

Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe

SHOW NOTES

Honey-do lists, March Madness, and a 30-year argument that is still very much alive. EP 69 is one of those episodes where Melissa and David are basically holding court on a real marriage debate and the audience gets to weigh in.

Melissa gave David a three-item honey-do list on the first Saturday of March Madness. The shelf has been waiting nine months. The stove lights are out. The hat hooks are not up. David’s position is that March Madness is a protected holiday and the timing was foul. Melissa’s position is that she has 13 days a year to work with and she used one of them. Melissa’s mom called in live during the episode and described Melissa for the police as part of a TikTok trend — including a detailed note about lip filler that Melissa does not have. The episode closes with the Fair, Foul, or Technically Fair But Spiritually Wrong game: a marriage edition where every scenario hits a little too close to home.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“Out of 365 days a year, David is celebrating something that has to do with sports on 352 of them. That leaves me 13 days to work with and I used one of them.”

Melissa, presenting her case

“Technically fair but spiritually wrong. That is a real category and it applies to a lot of things in this marriage.”

Melissa, on the Fair or Foul game

LINKS MENTIONED

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

✨ Beautiful Yu Health Supplements: bit.ly/beautifulyu

📖 Melissa’s Book - Chicken-Fried Women: bit.ly/ChickenFriedWomen

WATCH OR LISTEN EVERYWHERE

📺 YouTube: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowYouTube

🎧 Apple Podcasts: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowApple

🎧 Spotify: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowSpotify

FOLLOW & SUBSCRIBE

📱 Instagram - @TheRadkeShow: bit.ly/TheRadkeShowInstagram

📘 Facebook - The Radkes: bit.ly/TheRadkesFacebook

📝 Subscribe to Stretch Marks on Substack: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

ARE YOU READY TO BECOME AN INSIDER?

Become a paid subscriber to Stretch Marks and get:

• Weekday POV Audio Messages

• Twice-monthly We’re Here for You Wednesday advice podcasts

• Monthly paid-only posts

• Community access for real conversation

Subscribe for $9/month or $90/year: bit.ly/MelissaRadkeSubstack

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit melissaradke.substack.com/subscribe