The Raising Kids with Purpose Podcast

A lot of parents grew up without getting their emotional needs met. They may have grown up emotionally unsupported and left to work through hard feelings on their own, mostly because their parents, even if well-intentioned, had to work and were busy. Or they grew up in homes where feeling disappointed, sad, or mad simply wasn't allowed. And out of love, many parents are now overcorrecting. They're removing every uncomfortable moment from their child's life because watching their child struggle feels unbearable.

Here is the truth nobody is saying out loud: when we shield our kids from every hard moment, we are not protecting them. We are robbing them of one of the most important skills they will ever need: frustration tolerance. And tolerating frustration is needed to build resilience.

In this episode, Adriane shares a real story about wanting to rescue her son from disappointment, but she made a different choice. She illustrates a powerful example of what it looks like to stay present with your child in their hardest moments without fixing it for them.

Frustration tolerance is not something children are born with. It is a skill that must be practiced. Their brains are literally under construction, and their frontal lobe, the part responsible for regulating emotions and understanding cause and effect, are not fully developed until their mid-twenties. Our job as parents is not to remove the frustration. It is to be the scaffold while they learn to move through it.

This episode covers:

Resources and Links Mentioned:

How to Become Your Child’s Emotion Coach: Episode 12 -  https://theparentingwithpurposepodcast.podbean.com/e/emotioncoach/ 

Play with Purpose Parenting Class: This class is designed to help parents connect with their children through intentional, purposeful play while building the skills kids need to thrive. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/play-with-purpose/

The P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program: Adriane's signature 7-step framework for parents who want to regulate themselves first so they can show up fully for their kids in the moments that matter most. https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/1-1-purpose-parent-program/ 

Book a call with Adriane: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat

This episode is about the 8th sensory system — interoception, and it’s the sense no one talks about. It's the one that connects your child's meltdowns, their anxiety, their inability to notice they're hungry until they're already falling apart, their emotional dysregulation, and so much more. And it's the one that, when I researched it, explained a lot about who I was as a child.

This episode closes out the 3-part series on the 8 Sensory Systems, and it's the one I'd hand to every parent, teacher, and caregiver who has ever looked at a child in a full meltdown and had absolutely no idea what triggered it.

In this episode:

The shift this series is meant to create:

No cup size is wrong. Your job is not to change your child's cup — it is to understand it. That understanding is what moves you from frustration to empathy, from confusion to confident advocacy. You stop being just the disciplinarian and start being the person who truly knows your child.

Resources mentioned:

Missed the earlier episodes in this series:

A note before you go:

Take the reflection question from this episode seriously — which cup surprised you the most, and which one finally explains something about your child that has been confusing you? Then download the free Sensory Profile Worksheet and fill it out for each of your kids. That one exercise will change the way you see their behavior, possibly forever.

Thank you for spending this series with me. Sharing this podcast with another parent who needs it is one of the most meaningful things you can do — for their family and for mine.

Why Your Kid Covers Their Ears, is Super Loud but Hates Loud Places & Won't Eat Certain Foods

Has your child ever covered their ears at their own birthday party — the very one they begged for? Or do you have a kid who will only eat plain pasta and you've spent years calling it picky eating? Or maybe you've walked into a store and your child immediately starts shutting down, and you can't figure out why?

None of that is behavior. None of it is defiance. And none of it has anything to do with how you're parenting.

In Part 2 of this 3-part series on the 8 Sensory Systems, we're covering the four senses most parents think they already understand — and completely reframing what's actually happening in your child's nervous system.

This episode is full of real stories from my own house, the science explained simply, and practical things you can start doing today.

In this episode:

Resources mentioned:

Want personalized support?

If you're listening to this series and thinking, "this is exactly my child", or "this is totally me", let's talk. I'd love to help you connect the dots and figure out what YOUR child specifically needs.

Find a time to chat: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat

Missed Part 1?

Episode 13 covers the foundation — the cup analogy, sensory seeking vs. sensory avoidant, and the tactile, vestibular, and proprioceptive systems. Start there if you haven't already.

Up next — Part 3: We're covering interoception, the 8th sense almost no parent has heard of, and the one that connects everything — including your child's emotional regulation, meltdowns, and ability to read their own body. Don't skip this one.

If this episode helped you see your child differently, will you share it with another parent who needs to hear it? That's how we change the conversation — one family at a time. Thank you for being here.

Part 1/3: The 8 Sensory Systems Every Parent Needs to Understand

If you've ever googled "why is my child so difficult," this one's for you!

Because here's what I know: your child isn't difficult. Their brains are wired differently than you think. And once you understand how, everything changes the way you see their meltdowns, the way you respond to their big behaviors, and the way you show up as their advocate.

In this episode, I'm kicking off a brand new series on the 8 sensory processing systems. This is going to be one of those episodes you send to every parent you know.

Most of us grew up believing we have 5 senses. We actually have 8 sensory systems. And every single one of them plays a role in how your child behaves, regulates, learns, and connects.

Today, we're starting with the foundation: What sensory processing actually is, why your child's "cup" is uniquely theirs, and we're diving into the first three systems: touch, movement (vestibular), and body awareness (proprioceptive).

In this episode:

Resources mentioned:

Want to go deeper?

If you're ready to stop reacting and start understanding your child's unique wiring, that's exactly what we do inside my coaching programs. You'll learn to become your child's strongest advocate, in your home and in every room you walk into on their behalf.

👉www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat 

This is Part 1 of a 3-part series. Next week: We're covering the auditory, visual, smell, and taste systems, including why "picky eating" is NOT a behavior problem and why your kid covers their ears at their own birthday party.

If this episode resonated with you, will you take 30 seconds and leave a review? It helps other parents find this podcast, and that matters so much to me. Thank you for being here.

The moment your child is at their most emotional is not a problem to solve. It is actually the most important opportunity you have with them. In this episode, Adriane walks through the five steps to becoming your child's emotion coach, explains why validating feelings is not the same as condoning behavior, and shares a story about a client who had never formally studied emotion coaching but was doing every single step beautifully without even realizing it. That story alone will give you so much hope.

This episode is the foundation for everything else in connected parenting. If you have ever felt like you are trying to correct behavior that just keeps coming back, this is where the real shift happens.

Dr. Dan Siegel Psychiatrist, author, and clinical professor at UCLA School of Medicine. Adriane references two concepts from his work: "name it to tame it," the research showing that labeling an emotion activates the prefrontal cortex and reduces the intensity of the emotional response, and Mindsight, his framework for developing the capacity to understand your own mind and the minds of others. Learn more at drdansiegel.com

Dr. Gordon Neufeld Developmental psychologist and author of Hold On to Your Kids. Adriane references his principle of "collect before you connect before you correct," the idea that a child needs to feel attached and safe before any teaching or redirection can actually land. Learn more at neufeldinstitute.org

The Gottman Institute The emotion coaching framework taught in this episode is rooted in the research of Dr. John Gottman, whose studies found that a parent's ability to emotion-coach their child is one of the strongest predictors of that child's social, emotional, and academic outcomes. His research identified the five steps of emotion coaching that Adriane walks through in this episode. Learn more at gottman.com

Free Emotion Coach Toolkit - https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/i1x5n9 

P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program For parents who are ready to go beyond listening and actually apply this work to their specific child, their specific triggers, and their specific family. The P.U.R.P.O.S.E. Parent Transformation Program is where the deeper work happens. Emotion coaching, co-regulation, connection rituals, boundaries, and repair are all woven throughout the program with personalized coaching support.

Setting Boundaries with Purpose Toolkit A companion resource for families working through how to hold limits with empathy and without power struggles. Pairs directly with the emotion coaching framework because boundaries land so much better when the connection is already there. 

Book a Discovery Call 

🌐 Website: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com 📸 Instagram: www.instagram.com/raisingkidswithpurpose

If this episode resonated with you, share it with another parent who is in the thick of the hard moments and needs to hear that those moments are actually the doorway to connection. Leaving a review helps other parents find this show.

Have you ever handed your child an iPad to get five minutes of peace, eat out at a restaurant, shop without distraction, or get anything done?

Separately, you wonder why it's so hard to parent your kid because of the emotional reactivity, lack of sleep, big behaviors, and more.

You're not imagining it.

In this episode, I'm breaking down what the research actually says about screens and young, developing brains, why handheld devices are in a completely different category than watching a movie on TV, and what to do instead.

This one is for parents of young kids: toddlers, preschoolers, and early elementary. A future episode will cover older kids and cell phones specifically.

Free Screen Time Menu A curated list of alternatives to screens, sorted by category and energy level so you always have an answer to "but what do I DO instead?" 👉 https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/p1s3x2

Dr. Jared Cooney Horvath

Book a Parent Support Discovery Call

If you'd like personalized support building a plan for your specific child and family, I offer discovery calls where we can talk through what's happening and map out what might actually work. 👉 www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat

Website: www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com

Does your child tune you out, ignore your requests, not do their chores, or make good choices? Then they will sometimes respond when you raise your voice or threaten to take something away? And you're in constant power struggles? 

In Episode 10, we're talking about the one parenting tool that actually breaks the cycle: Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, developed by Dr. Ross Greene.

Dr. Ross Greene — Lives in the Balance The home of Collaborative & Proactive Solutions, including free tools and resources for parents.

Think: Kids — Collaborative Problem Solving (MGH) A related but distinct evidence-based approach developed at Massachusetts General Hospital.

I briefly mentioned in the episode that there are two approaches that share very similar names. Here's the quick distinction:

Both are evidence-based and share the same core belief that kids need skills, not just consequences. In this episode, I focused on Dr. Greene's approach. For a full side-by-side comparison: https://livesinthebalance.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/cps-vs-cps_edit2.pdf

Think of the one fight that keeps happening in your house. Don't try to solve it yet, just ask yourself: "What do I think is hard about this situation for my child?" That question is the beginning of Plan B.

Setting Boundaries with Purpose Toolkit: https://raisingkidswithpurpose.thrivecart.com/setting-boundaries-toolkit/ A practical resource to help you move from reactive to intentional. 

Purpose Parent Transformation Program Ready for personalized support? Book a discovery call to learn more. www.raisingkidswithpurpose.com/chat 

This may challenge everything you believe about parenting: consequences do not teach.

The research (and so many people's personal experiences) have been this super clear. By the end of this episode, you'll understand why what you were taught isn't working and what to actually do instead.

We've been handed a lie: that kids need to feel bad to do better and that without punishment, there's no discipline. For decades, adults have falsely believed that consequences are how children learn. They learn the opposite of what they need to behave better. 

In this episode, we're talking about:

Your kid will learn far more through co-regulation, connection, and play. 

Books & Research Mentioned in This Episode:

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Ready to stop surviving and start thriving?

If this episode resonated and you're ready to go beyond behavior management and actually understand what's driving your child's actions, connect with Adriane using the links below. 

Connect with Adriane:

"I'm a terrible mom or dad." "I'm failing my kids." "I keep losing it, and I don't know how to stop. I'm a failure." If you've ever said any of those things, out loud or just in your head, this episode is for you.

You are not alone. And feeling like you're failing doesn't mean you ARE failing. In this episode, we're getting honest about the shame spiral so many parents are stuck in and talking about what's really going on underneath it.

In this episode, we're talking about:

The cycle stops with you. The healing starts with you. And imperfect progress still counts.

Book Mentioned in This Episode:

Resources & Links Mentioned:

Ready to stop surviving and start thriving?

If this episode resonated with you and you're ready to go deeper and understand your own nervous system, work through the patterns underneath the reactions, and become the regulated, connected parent you want to be, Adriane would love to chat!

Book a free discovery call with Adriane

Connect with Adriane:

A family’s culture is the invisible thread that holds a home together. If you are looking for practical ways to build your family culture intentionally, this episode is a must-listen!

Before listening to this episode, be sure to tune into Episode 1, 2, and 3 of the Building Your Family Foundation series, which are linked below. In the fourth and final episode of this series, we are diving into what a family culture is (and isn’t) and 7 ways to build a strong family culture. 

We’re chatting about simple ways to build your family’s culture, including: 

Building a strong family culture is a journey and the fact that you're here, listening, doing the work — that IS the culture. You're already building it!

Other Episodes in This Series:

Links Mentioned in This Episode: 

Connect with Adriane: