As you will hear every now and then, I consider myself to be an “elite bachelor.” Now, stop it! Don’t laugh! I worked hard to ascend the meaningless ranks of bachelorhood to make it to this pristine position.

This has been safety and security awareness week at work. This is the one week in the year that all of the staff members are expected to be safe, I guess to somehow make up for the other fifty-one weeks of not being safe.

Please understand me. Just because you use a key for whatever key-purpose for which you would use said or otherwise unsaid key, doesn’t mean that you are necessarily a sissy.

Lest I give the impression I don't know noon from the middle of the day, I want to say upfront that I am familiar with the technology affectionately known as "dishwasher."