Why can't we all Apple Pay everywhere all the time? John, Lex, and Dan discuss the vagaries of the retail experience.

You'd think that Lex, Dan, and John could let last week's Apple event go, but no—they're too angry. Only the Apple Watch can pacify them.

Maybe Apple should have waited a little bit longer to hold another event. John, Lex, and Dan discuss (read: complain about) the latest announcements.

It's all about Dan not liking iOS 8 (and John and Lex's counterarguments) until the gang is interrupted by BREAKING NEWS.

Where the hell did Windows 9 go? Does Apple have a QA problem? Are Lex's and John's spouses right not to upgrade to iOS 8? We answer none of these questions.

Lex asks Dan and John about their new iPhone 6s. Everybody cringes about bendable phones. And what's the sound of one hand typing?

Dan, John, and Lex convene to discuss an important matter: Who's been downloading U2 albums?