This week we talk about the best new Netflix movies, a really lame shark attack, medical Batman, our new cube overlords, the best kids TV show ever, Gwyneth Paltrow's clip-on bidet, a V8 mobility scooter, Hasbro's best new murder toy, and a really lovely story about dogs. Enjoy! 

In this week's episode we give our exclusive review of the new Fantastic Beasts movie, talk about a real life Grand Theft Auto character, process our feelings about having red hair, think about which animal we'd steal from a zoo, learn about a very phallic statue, debate corporate onion ethics, and finally give a comprehensive guide to music festivals. Spoilers: don't wear a onesie.

Links

The Statue: https://twitter.com/groth_rubini/status/1063082326001889281/photo/1

The Closer: https://www.bellingencourier.com.au/story/5608996/from-the-darkest-of-hours-the-dynamite-kid-is-ready-to-explode/

This is probably our weirdest episode yet. It's just weird tangent and imagined world over and over, one after the other. We talk about our daggy-dad Prime Minister, a rock that starts its own emo band, a very blunt child, an aerial-dildo attack, whether we can buy Ben Mendelsohn's leg, then take an adventure to New Zealand to figure out if Kiwi birds and Kiwi fruits are related. It's nuts. Funny? Maybe... Definitely weird though...

This week we talk about the ghost mile-high club, the KFC of the future, Yelp vandalism, a just very bad headline, adorable wallaby rescues, debut a new spooky segment, and whether or not it's okay to murder someone over spoilers. There are lots of cool stories and lots of barely-connected tangents into dumb jokes. Enjoy!

Also, fair warning, there are a fair few audio glitches in the recording this week. We discovered it too late to fix it and have edited around them as much as possible. We apologise, and it won't happen again.

This week we're doing something a little different - our first themed episode! To celebrate Halloween, instead of talking about news stories, we're instead discussing articles about Australian ghosts and ghouls that we found on the web. We talk about haunted streets, haunted roads, LGBT psychic powers, the rules for ghosts, exciting haunted objects on ebay, and ghost-hunter dating opportunities. This episode runs pretty long, but it's a special occasion, so we're giving you extra content/making you listen for longer. We'll be back to our usual selves (and length) next week!

This week we talk about the Royals' weather-control powers, starting a career as a celebrity impersonator, whether it's okay to eat roadkill, paranormal marine rescue, a motivational rooster, the new bill of sausage rights, and a literally naked butcher. There are a lot of accents in this episode. They're not great.

This week we discuss the world's most sensual murderous alien, get hoaxed by Russian fake news, unearth what aeroplane pilots don't want you to know, figure out how to grift an ambulance, think about investing in a hotel, fangirl/boy about Shannon Noll, then spend the final 20 minutes of the show talking almost exclusively about snakes. You really get the whole spectrum of our "great" country in this one. Enjoy!

This week's action-packed, thrilling topics include being a "redhead at heart", the rodeo cowhide drag, sexy police gear, modern hunting, self-vampirism, carp porn, and praying for McDonalds. Such variety! So diverse! Do you like it? Please love us...

This week's topics include radioactive fruit, manly glass-filled cake, a flood of wine, a rain of eels, the solution to manspreading, wholesome prank calls, the legality of horse poo, and our new favourite band Eggsac. It's just as dumb as it sounds. You're welcome.

Gross eel photos available here: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-07-14/truck-carrying-hagfish-eels-overturns-on-oregon-highway/8708822

This week got a teensy bit off the rails... We start out talking about reasonable topics like a peacock infestation, and a very pretentious film critic, but before long we're chatting about Johnny English 3, a nudity license, Nandos protecting Area 51, and the best way to make love to spiders. It's what could be described as "gleefully profane", so take from that what you will.