What if the most powerful voice in the hiring process isn’t the manager but the resident?

In today’s episode, Rose Lamb and Lou Watson show us what it looks like when residents aren’t just living in a seniors’ community, they’re shaping it. As a 92-year-young resident at The Village of Taunton Mills, Lou brings wisdom, wit, and a clear voice to the hiring table - literally. Together with Rose, Senior VP at Schlegel Villages, they share how involving residents in the interview process strengthens culture, trust, and connection.

This episode is a powerful reminder that when we see residents as contributors, not just recipients, we create more meaningful, human-centered care environments. From the "Wisdom of the Elder" program to the five pillars of Schlegel’s “Connect the Dots” philosophy, Rose and Lou walk us through what a relational approach really looks like in practice.

You’ll hear:

• How involving residents in hiring decisions can strengthen culture and connection
• What Lou looks for in a candidate (and why it’s not just about the resume)
• Why “value-added” is Lou’s north star when it comes to team fit
• How Schlegel Villages builds their relational culture through “Connect the Dots”
• Why honoring grief, autonomy, and different personalities matters in resident engagement

This is a rich, honest conversation about leadership, legacy, and why wisdom belongs at the center of how we build culture in seniors’ care.

You can learn more about Schlegel Villages here

You can read Rose and Lou’s bio’s and access the full show notes here 

What if it’s not about balance at all, but alignment?

In this episode of The Relational Approach Podcast, Dr. Katie Keller Wood brings a Montessori-inspired lens to caregiving, offering gentle wisdom on how we can reconnect with our purpose, even in the mundane.

You’ll hear:

• How “alignment” can replace the pressure of work-life balance
• Why your work, no matter how small, has lasting impact
• What it means to discover your cosmic task
• How connection and purpose fuel care, even on the hardest days

This is a reflective and deeply encouraging conversation for anyone feeling stretched thin or searching for deeper meaning in their work.

Listen in and rediscover your why.

You can read Katie's bio and more about this episode here

You can learn more about Katie at 

katiekellerwood.com

alignment-book.com

Watch Katie's Tedx Talk here 

What if the real barrier to connection in seniors’ care isn’t communication, but fear?

In today's episode, Mindy Spigel helps us reframe how we respond to families in moments of fear, stress, and uncertainty. Her powerful metaphor of the “snake on your head” will change the way you see emotional reactions in seniors’ care.

You’ll hear:

• Why fear often looks like anger, and how to meet it with empathy, not defensiveness
• How one warm welcome can shape a whole relationship
• Why language matters more than we think
• The impact of starting with yes, even when the answer is no
• Why slowing down at the start can save hours later

This is a practical, compassionate conversation about building trust, reducing tension, and showing up with presence in the moments that matter most.

You can learn more about Mindy here:
https://mindyspigel.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindyspigel/
email: [email protected]
Tedx Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIrXZJWs5N0

You can access the full show notes here

What if the key to building trust with families wasn’t about trying to control, but about letting it go?

In today's episode I speak with Joanna Osborne, Director of Food Services and Dietitian at Windsor Elms in Nova Scotia. 

Joanna offers a deeply human perspective on how to support families in ways that create trust, not tension.

You’ll hear:

• Why letting go of control often builds more connection
• How to guide with confidence while honoring family emotions
• Why the way you say something matters as much as what you say
• How small relational gestures can soften even the hardest conversations

Joanna’s “passenger seat” metaphor will stick with you, and shift how you approach those pivotal moments with families.

Join us for a conversation that’s honest, grounded, and full of relational wisdom.

You can read Joanna's bio and access the full show notes here

Connect with Deborah:
website
Linked In
Instagram

What if your stories could build the bridge between fear and trust?

In this episode of The Relational Approach Podcast, Krista Smith brings her lens as both a digital marketing expert and a family caregiver, showing us how real, relational storytelling can transform how we connect with families and communities.

You’ll hear:

• Why authenticity matters more than polished messaging
• How small, shared moments can shift perception and reduce stigma
• How families can become powerful collaborators in telling your care home’s story
• Why the admission process should start with “Tell me about your loved one”

This episode is a beautiful blend of heart and strategy. It's a fresh reminder that the stories we tell (and how we tell them) matter deeply.

Tune in to explore how a relational lens can change how you connect and communicate with your residents' families.

You can learn more about Krista Smith at her website, Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thekristasmith/ or Instagram

More information about this episode here

In today’s solo episode, you’ll be getting a masterclass in how to better navigate and manage expectations, from both the perspective of staff and families in seniors’ care.

I’ll break down the formula of Disappointment = Expectations – Reality (from Chip Conley, Emotional Equations book) and how we can reframe “unrealistic expectations” into a perspective that you can better work with.

We cover a lot of information in this podcast so have provided references here:

From Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown:

“Disappointment is unmet expectations. The more significant the expectations, the more significant the disappointment. Every day, sometimes every hour, we are consciously and unconsciously setting expectations of ourselves and the people in our lives, especially those closest to us. The unconscious, unexamined, and unexpressed expectations are the most dangerous and often turn into disappointment. In fact, the research tells us that disappointment is one of the most frequently experienced emotions and it tends to be experienced at a high level of intensity.”

“When we develop expectations, we paint a picture in our head of how things are going to be and how they're going to look. We set expectations based not only on how we fit in that picture, but also on what those around us are doing in that picture. This means that our expectations are often set on outcomes totally beyond our control. Like what other people think, what they feel or how they're going to react. The movie in our mind is wonderful but no one else knows their parts, their lines or what it means to us. Disappointment takes a toll on us and our relationships. It requires considerable emotional bandwidth.” 

Questions staff can ask families:

• What is your understanding of how our home and care supports work?
• Have you had previous experiences with fill in the blank, ie long term care? 
• What are your perceptions about fill in the blank, ie assisted living? 
• Tell us a bit about what your expectations are?
• What are you most worried about moving your loved one into our home? 
• What do you need to feel more comfortable or confident with this decision of moving your loved one into our home?
• What's most important to you? 
• What are you most hoping for? 
• What would you appreciate the most from us?
• And what support do you need or want from us? 

For families, these questions can help you review and assess the expectations you have coming into seniors’ care:

• Why is this your expectation? 
• How reasonable do you think this expectation is? 
• How much are you relying on things outside of your control to meet that expectation?
• How will you feel if this isn't met? 
• What needs are you trying to get met with this expectation? 
• How important is this to you? Is there knowledge that you're missing that if provided could change this expectation? 

I referenced these questions from Brene Brown’s book Atlas from the Heart:

• What expectations do you have going into this?
• What do you want to happen and why? 
• What will that mean to you? 
• Do you have a movie in your head? 
• Are you setting goals and expectations that are completely outside of your control? 

Check out Episode 2 “Bridging Gaps in Admission Anxiety: A Family and Staff perspective to hear more about the Knowledge, Emotion and Identity Gaps.

Here are the 20 misconceptions that are from Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families, and in the book I share information and clarification with these misconceptions. 

1. I thought my loved one was going to get 24/7 one on one care.
2. I thought clothing wouldn't get lost or damaged. After all, they're labeled. 
3. I should always be able to call and speak to a care team member right away.
4. I felt my loved one would have the same people taking care of them. Every day.
5. If there's a care plan, then everything on that care plan should be done every day.
6. The only way to get respect and resolve a problem is to be the squeaky wheel and escalate it to the highest level seven. 
7. If I complain the staff will take it out on my loved one.
8. Now that they're in long term care, my loved one is going to improve or get better (otherwise known as the “I expect the staff to work miracles”. 
9. Staff should know where my loved one is when I call or visit. 
10. I thought I'd feel more settled and relieved now that my loved one is in long term care or I thought the adjustment would take longer. 
11. I should be able to get a parking spot when I come to visit 
12. I thought I'd get regular detailed updates about my loved ones activities participation, medical information, eating habits, etc. 
13. I thought our care conference would be more comprehensive with information updates and be easier to get scheduled. 
14. I thought it would be easier to connect with other families at the home. 
15. I thought the staff would be more proactive and alerting me to additional issues, for example, foot care or changes to their habits or behaviors.
16. I thought the room would be secure. 
17. I thought we would have more than just 24 hours to clean the room out after our loved one passes away.
18. If I'm the POA (Power of Attorney) for Health that I should be able to make all the decisions on behalf of my loved one. 
19. I didn't think residents in long term care would or should be sexually active and 
20. My loved one should be getting more care than they're getting given how much we're paying.

If you’d like to purchase a copy of Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families, visit my website DeborahBakti.com. You can also purchase from Amazon.

You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you!

Let’s face it, stress and overwhelm can be a daily occurrence which interrupts how we are showing up and impacting others. This can then contribute to the frustration and friction between staff and families in seniors’ care.

As much as stress is a reality, having negative reactions and ruminations is optional. This is one of many things I took away from my conversation with Trish Tutton.

If you would love to have some practical and simple tools in your back pocket to help you feel less stressed, you’ll find this episode useful, uplifting and empowering.

Trish Tutton bio:

After years working in cultures where stress and burnout were seemingly the only way to success, Trish suffered a shocking loss and things became clear: stress is unavoidable, but it doesn’t have to dictate our lives. As a speaker and mindfulness teacher, Trish has taught the skills to become UNSHAKABLE and THRIVE amidst change and challenge to over 10,000 people across North America. She is passionate about helping folks become more resilient and less stressed with simple but impactful mindfulness techniques.

You can find her as a teacher on the #1 free meditation app in the world, Insight Timer, and she is the author of the Mindful Mornings Journal.

My training highlights include: 

• With a background in non-profit events organization, I have a deep appreciation for those working in high-stress environments.
• Over 15 years of personal practice and study with world class teachers like Jon Kabat-Zinn, Tara Brach, Mark Coleman, Bernie Clark, Joseph Goldstein, and more. 
• Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, via University of Massachusetts Medical Centre
• Search Inside Yourself, Google’s Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence course
• Fundamentals of Coaching, via Co-Active Coaching
• Science of Well-being, via Yale University

You can find Trish at:

• https://www.instagram.com/trish_tutton/
• https://www.facebook.com/TrishTuttonMindfulness/
• https://www.trishtutton.com/
• Mindful Mornings Journal on Amazon

A great blog post: https://www.trishtutton.com/blog/coping-strategies-for-stress-5-ways-to-stress-better

You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you!

In today’s episode, we talk about The P Word, a topic we don’t typically like to even think about, never mind plan for. 

My guest, Dr. Sammy Winemaker shares her experience, knowledge and insights with her compassionate, approachable and pragmatic style, which has been likened to as a Mr. Rogers kind of approach to care. 

Let’s face it, death is a reality, and when we have a loved one living in seniors’ care, it can be difficult to face. Yet knowledge is power for both the staff providing care, and the family going through this emotional journey.

This is a conversation that will help you think about the palliative approach with a bit more optimism and hope. 

About Dr. Samantha Winemaker

Dr. Samantha Winemaker is an Associate Clinical Professor, Department of Family Medicine, in the Division of Palliative Care at McMaster University. 

She teaches palliative care to health care professionals. She won the Ontario College of Family Physicians Award of Excellence in 2010, the Elizabeth J. Latimer Prize in Palliative Care in 2018, and the Dr. S. Lawrence Librach  Award for Palliative Medicine in the Community in 2019.

Dr. Sammy is the author, with Dr. Hsien Seow of Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest: 7 keys for navigating a life changing diagnosis and a founder of The Waiting Room Revolution.

You can find out more here:

https://twitter.com/SammyWinemaker

https://www.instagram.com/sammy.winemaker/?hl=en

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.sammywinemaker

https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-winemaker-01ba21163/?originalSubdomain=ca

Summary of Questions from this episode

Questions staff can ask families 

How about we talk about the illness that landed your loved one here at our front door.

How much do you understand about the circumstances or the health challenges that your loved one has that required them to come to long-term care? Let’s talk about that.

Whats your understanding of your loved one’s illness?

What’s your understanding of the decline you were seeing at home or the increase in their needs?

Did you understand how that connected with their underlying illness or illnesses?

Did you ever ask anyone before you came here?

What to expect going forward with this particular condition?

What did they tell you?

And if they hadn’t discussed that with you, is that something that you would like to talk about today because it can really help you, give you a roadmap.

You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you!

In this week’s episode, join us for an insightful and heartfelt episode with Kristen Leal, Director of Programs at peopleCare Delhi LTC and Anita Friesen, whose mom is a resident and has been living at peopleCare Delhi LTC since October of 2022.

This conversation was so heartwarming, and you can feel the care and respect Kristen and Anita have as partners in care.

Together, we explore the power of empathy and understanding in seniors care, from the challenges of cognitive decline to the impact of community-building initiatives like Kristen’s Now What? book club. 

Through personal stories and shared experiences, we uncover the importance of building relationships between staff and families, breaking down misconceptions about long-term care, and creating supportive environments where everyone feels valued and connected in their long-term care homes.

Tune in as we celebrate the resilience, compassion, and dedication of caregivers and families in the journey of senior living.

Learn more about peopleCare Communities by visiting peopleCare.ca.  

You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you!

I See What You Do by Anita Friesen

To all the Staff at peopleCare Delhi LTC

It has become apparent to me that

YOU NEED TO BE TOLD . . . I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

When I come for a visit and step inside.

You greet me with a smile.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

When I walk down the halls.

You work with such passion. I’ve seen it from you before.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

Your hours are long.

You’re always on your feet.

You must be exhausted.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

You come to your job.

Leave your problems behind.

Become part of a new family.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

The residents are dressed, bathed and fed.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

When someone is blue.

I see you put your hand on their arm.

You whisper or tell them a joke.

They are no longer blue.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

You know all their names.

Their likes and dislikes.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

A calendar listing all the events.

Entertainment for residents, family and friends.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

Meals are prepared three times a day.

The dishes are endless and don’t stop all day.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

The laundry is washed it’s dried and then sorted.

A sock may be lost . . . there’s nothing you can do.

Cause just like the dishes it’s endless too.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

The meds are dispensed with accuracy and care.

I can see that when I am there.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

The cleaning is done.

And the maintenance too.

I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

So this is why I have to say, I truly appreciate everything you do

and YOU NEED TO BE TOLD . . . I SEE WHAT YOU DO!

Love You All

Anita Friesen (daughter of Godelieve VanMaele)