The Relationship Breakthrough Show with Matt & Rebeca

Have you ever been stuck with a disagreement where despite your best efforts you can’t manage to find a resolution that works for both parties?

What could you try to break out of that cycle and to find a more empowering way to resolve your issues.

Today we are going to be looking at mediation as a model of identifying your needs and to see how each person can successfully meet their needs either in the relationship, or outside of it.

Elizabeth Franz has been a mediator for the past 10 years, guiding clients through their most impactful conversations. Collective action, collaborative decision making, and communication that build relationships are the key ingredients to build the future that meets all our needs.

We are going to be exploring:

What is mediation?

How does it relate to the legal process?

What are the situations when mediation can be a valuable approach?

… and much more!

You can find out more about Elizabeth’s work at:

humanzmediate.com

When we are lacking self-esteem, it can affect our happiness, our mental health and our relationships. In addition, if we are not in a good place individually, then that will always affect our relationships in some ways.

We need to be Aligned with Our Self, before we can be Aligned with our Partner!

Today’s subject is SUCH an important foundation for having a great relationship!

I’m delighted to be joined by self-esteem author and expert Clarissa Burt who is going to be sharing with us THE FOUR PILLARS of self-esteem and how we can ensure that our self-esteem is an enabler to a magic relationship!

When we are going through relationship difficulties, we may reflect that if only we’d acted earlier we could have avoided the worst of the problems that followed.

So what happens when we reach the end of the road in the relationship, and we find ourselves potentially in court picking up the pieces of a failed relationship?

What would we have liked to have known earlier from people who have already gone down that route, and lived to tell the tale? Are there any lessons that we can reflect on now to set ourselves up for a successful outcome?

Today we are going to be exploring some of the common pitfalls of the legal process and what we can learn NOW to at least keep things as amiable as possible, and potentially to avoid us having to go through that process at all.

Katie O’Connell is an experienced family lawyer at Watkins & Gunn supporting people going through separation and resolving their financial and family arrangements. Watkins & Gunn is a highly respected law firm and in particular the family department is top ranked in the Legal 500.

We are going to be covering:

- How to ensure that you take the right path, and that your decision is the right one

- The pitfalls of getting the right support, and how to make sure that you know what you are looking for

- The challenges of making heat-of-the-moment snap decisions under stress and how these can negatively impact the relationship and the future

- How to get reassurance and initial advice without having to start a process that you can then no longer stop

You can find out more about Katie’s work, and the areas that she can support with at:

https://www.watkinsandgunn.co.uk/services/family-matters/

Today we’re going to focus on the often discussed area of relationship ‘red flags’, which are things that if we come across them may be telling us something important about the relationship - something that if not addressed and resolved could impact negatively on the relationship.

We’re going to be looking at the top 5 red flags that could be key warning signs that something isn’t right… Could any of these be affecting YOUR relationship?

Phil Russotti has been a distinguished trial attorney in New York City for more than 40 years, he’s mastered many subjects, through reading, research, and speaking with experts. In preparation for writing his book The Essential Rules of Love, he brought these abilities to the subject of love and relationships.

Don’t miss this session where we look at

What do we mean by a relationship red flag?

What are the top 5 relationship red flags to look out for in your relationship.

What happens to love after we die?

You can find out more about Phil’s book at:

https://www.philrussotti.com/

One of the most common challenges when relationships are not working, is that communication can seem broken… maybe we have the same argument again and again, or maybe we never even seem to get to the key point.

What is really going on here, and is it REALLY our communication that’s the problem or could it be something else?

If you ever feel that communication is your challenge, and maybe even that “EVERYTHING ends with an argument…”, you are going to want to find out the 5 steps for overcoming reactivity with the incredible Lair Torrent.

Lair is a clinically trained psychotherapist and mindfulness-based family therapist, best-selling author and contributing columnist at inc.com. He has just authored a new book titled The Practice of Love, Break old Patterns, Rebuild Trust and Create a Connection That Lasts.

We’re going to be looking at:

How we get triggered, and how it impacts on our partner and our relationship… and how we can de-escalate things

Dealing with a partner that is less keen to work on the relationship than we may be, and looking to improve the relationship regardless

Shifting from a ‘me’ centred way of thinking to a ‘we’ centred one to support the relationship

How the narratives that we select lead us to telling stories - either empowering ones or otherwise

Why we think we should just ‘know’ how relationships work, but without a framework or educational system to make them work

The benefit of self-awareness and mindfulness in getting a handle of the challenges that we are experiencing

Actions that we can take now if we’re committed to improvement to start shifting to a more present place where the relationship can really work

You can find out more about Lair, and get a copy of his new book at lairtorrent.com

When we’re struggling in our relationship and trying to make it work, it’s common that we’ll look to make some changes to try to improve things. Could it be that in making these changes, we could do things that we believe that our partner wants us to do, but actually make us feel unhappy?

How do we avoid losing ourselves when we are trying to make the relationship work?

Today I’m joined by Lee Hopkins who helps people create lasting friendships. After struggling with loneliness most of his life, he's tried various ways to resolve it— including moving across the US to find his tribe and fit in. He’s learned the key to creating meaningful relationships and he’ll show us how this is possible for everyone.

We are going to be covering:

What do we mean by a “boundary”, and what are the most common misunderstandings about them?

What are the times when a lack of boundaries can show up, and what’s the impact?

How does having boundaries enable us to say yes to ourselves, and to be our authentic selves?

How do you get to stay emotionally connected with someone, while also having boundaries?

We’re going to be covering all this and more… don’t miss it!

Have you ever had an argument with your partner and you wanted to make up with them but you didn’t know how to go about it and when you approached your partner you just messed it up even more again?

Kristine Grant is a 20 years experienced family therapist and is today with us sharing her book The Relationshift: how to write the words you really want to say, a beautiful heart-felt guide to create a more conscious and meaningful connection with the people you love.

In this episode you will learn:

- Is it possible for a relationship to last forever?

- What to do when you discover that your partner has cheated on you

- Is it possible to forgive and move on after infidelity?

- The biggest relationship challenges that people go through

- How to trust your intuition versus your logic

- How to recover from the heart break of betrayal

- How to navigate divorce after infidelity

Abuse in relationships can take many forms, and range from subtle control strategies to full blown physical assault. It can be highly damaging, not only physically but also emotionally and lead to long term effects. Even if we escape the relationship, it can lead to scars that can affect us for years, even into new relationships.

Today we’re excited to welcome the incredible Jackie Graybill to the show who is an expert and researcher in the area of abusive and coercive relationships at the University of Worcester in England.

She has her own story of having lived through an abusive relationship, and successfully removing herself from that, and surviving to tell us the story today.

We’re going to be exploring:

- How prevalent is abuse today

- The personality types that are most susceptible to being abused

- The biggest red flags that can be a sign that abuse is going on, including some that many will not be aware of

Follow Jackie’s incredible Podcast entitled “Abuse isn’t what you think” available on all major platforms.

What do we understand as anxiety, and is it the same as OCD? How could anxiety or OCD negatively affect our relationship? What behaviours or reactions could happen as a result of that anxiety? Where does that anxiety come from, and what can we do to manage it better so that it doesn’t become a problem in our relationship?

AND can it ever be a GOOD thing for our relationship?

Today I’m joined by Jenna Overbaugh who is an OCD/anxiety therapist who loves helping people face their fear and build self-confidence. She values educating her clients and giving them the tools they need to manage their recovery independently.

We’re going to be exploring:

- Do OCD and anxiety affect men and women in different ways, and if so how?

- How relationship anxiety plays out and what happens when two anxious people are together in a relationship?

- What can you do right now, to manage and overcome your anxiety?

You can find out more about Jenna’s work at:

https://instagram.com/jenna.overbaugh

https://www.jennaoverbaugh.com/

When we talk about domestic abuse, the first image that comes to mind for many of us is of a physically abusive male partner, intimidating or attacking his female partner.

But is there more to it than that?

Today I’m delighted to be joined by Lee Marks, who is a researcher, and author of the book Break the Silence - A support guide for male victims of domestic abuse.

He is the founder of Break the Silence where they support people of every age, race, class and gender in dealing with the devastating effects of domestic abuse, seeing that the victims are from all segments of society.

Their mission is to support everyone affected to “break the silence” and live a violence free existence.

We are going to be hearing:

- Lee's personal story of recovery from an abusive relationship

- what do we mean by domestic abuse?

- who is more likely to be a victim and who is more likely to report it

- how does the law deal with different types of abuse

Find out more about Lee's work at:

https://breakthesilenceuk.co.uk/