The Relaxed Male

Why do we get participation trophies?

Easy bump of Satisfaction

Empty victory

How are you giving yourself participation trophies?

Staying busy for the sake of busy or are you actually taking steps to go forward?

Finding other things to do than what needs to be done.

Buffering

Example watching porn is you taking the participation prixe instead of actually building the connection withyour wife so that you have that much wanted intamacy.

How are you taking the participation trophies of life? How are you going to stop? let me know in the comments section below.

Want to start reaching for the real trophies in life? To do so take the next step

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The episode argues that many people, especially men, settle for metaphorical "participation trophies" in their relationships instead of putting in the hard work required for a truly fulfilling relationship. Just like kids getting participation trophies in sports for merely showing up, adults give themselves participation trophies in relationships by engaging in avoidance behaviors and buffering techniques like drinking, watching porn, playing video games, etc. instead of doing the emotional labor to build intimacy.

The host says these participation trophies in relationships provide an "empty victory" and hollow satisfaction, preventing true growth. For example, watching porn is the participation trophy instead of putting in effort to foster emotional and sexual intimacy with one's partner. Drinking after a hard day is the participation trophy instead of having a real discussion about issues with a spouse.

The host urges men to stop settling for these relationship participation trophies. Instead, put in the work like pursuing personal growth, having vulnerable conversations, doing activities to nurture the relationship, etc. - which leads to the true "win" of a rich, fulfilling partnership. Giving up the participation trophy mindset and buffering behaviors is hard, but necessary to achieve relationship success beyond just going through the motions.

00:00:00 The Impact of Participation Trophies 00:11:31 Striving for Success Beyond Participation Trophies 00:16:27 Taking Action to Remove Participation Trophies

Why do we appear to turn to pain

Why do we put ourselves through these ordeals?

• We overeat
• Face hangovers
• Withdrawals

We would rather face pain than Find satisfaction

Pain is a better motivator than pleasure.

It is too scary to avoid the pain

scarcity in our lives

Not being intentional

Coaching Offer - https://www.relaxedmale.com/coachingoffer

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, the host delves into the intriguing topic of pain and its role as a motivator in life. Pain seems to have a paradoxical effect on humans, both repelling and attracting us. From childhood, we are drawn to experiences that involve pain, whether it's testing our physical limits or seeking thrills. As we grow older, our relationship with pain becomes more complex, as we navigate the fine line between seeking pleasure and avoiding discomfort.

The discussion reflects on how individuals often choose to endure familiar pain rather than face the unknown challenges that could lead to fulfillment. This avoidance of necessary discomfort can manifest in various ways, such as overeating, substance abuse, or failing to take proactive steps toward personal and professional growth. The speaker emphasizes the importance of confronting fears and stepping out of comfort zones to achieve true fulfillment in life.

The conversation touches on the concept of a scarcity mindset and how it can drive individuals to seek temporary pleasures that ultimately result in greater pain. By reframing perspectives and adopting intentional actions, one can break free from self-imposed limitations and unlock a realm of possibilities. The speaker illustrates the power of shifting mindset towards gratitude, abundance, and proactive decision-making in order to pursue meaningful relationships and personal growth.

Through candid self-reflection, the host acknowledges his own struggles with stepping into discomfort, particularly in the realm of professional endeavors. The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth by reaching out for coaching support. By embracing challenges, facing fears, and embracing discomfort, individuals can pave the way toward a more fulfilling and empowered existence.

00:00:00 Introduction 00:04:53 Facing Overeating 00:11:41 Freedom from Discomfort 00:18:20 Seeking Fulfillment 00:20:10 Embracing Discomfort

Read

listen to podcasts

Try new things

Follow your curiosity

Do something scary

Porn is not your friend

When it comes to dating know what type of girl you want in your life. Yeah, there are the physical attributes but what character traits do you want in your wife?

Date with the purpose of marriage

Don't rush take a year to get to know her and then a year for the engagement. During this time Do some couples counseling and find out what she expects in marriage and share what you expect in marriage. Find out what each of you are going to bring to the table. Have some hard nos in place but also know when to be lenient on your standards. You aren't going to find the perfect woman.

Look out for girls that are damsels in distress because you get a distressed damsel. You don't want a woman that you are always rescuing.

Understand what respect is and does she actually respect you?

What are your values? What are her values? are they compatible?

Is she stable when she is upset or is she throwing temper tantrums?

Does she have daddy issues?

Is she talking about her ex's all the time

How does she treat her parents in general

How much responsibility does she take?

How quickly is she saying she loves you?

How are your friends and family responding to her?

Are there double standards?

Tries to separate you from your male friends?

Tries to separate you from your family

Talking about other people's secrets

Has mental health issues

Always in panic mode

 Take me up on a Special Coaching Offer - https://www.relaxedmale.com/coachingoffer

In this episode, I delve into the message for young men, aiming to provide guidance on navigating life's challenges and relationships. I emphasize the importance of intentional living and setting clear goals to achieve success. It's crucial for men to establish standards and values when it comes to relationships, understanding red flags to watch out for in potential partners. I discuss the significance of finding a compatible partner who aligns with your core values, respects you, and shares mutual goals. I highlight the impact of mental health issues in relationships, urging caution and advocating for healthy dynamics. Additionally, I touch on the dynamic of separateness from friends and family, emphasizing the need to preserve these relationships amidst romantic involvements. Furthermore, I address the role of physical attraction in relationships, while highlighting the underlying importance of shared values and respect in fostering a strong connection. I caution against falling into the trap of rescuing a damsel in distress, emphasizing the need for partnership based on mutual support and stability. I also stress the need for intentional dating, prioritizing meaningful connections over physical attraction. Ultimately, I encourage young men to approach relationships with intentionality, setting clear standards and boundaries to ensure healthy and fulfilling partnerships. By prioritizing respect, open communication, and shared values, men can cultivate strong, lasting relationships that contribute positively to their lives. Thank you for listening, and remember to share this valuable insight with others who may benefit.

00:00:00 Introduction to The Relaxed Male 00:02:45 The Unique Challenges Men Face 00:07:44 Continuous Learning and Growth 00:12:13 Misconceptions About Men in Society 00:13:27 Finding Your Purpose and Facing Fears 00:18:58 The Importance of Intentional Relationships 00:22:25 Choosing the Right Partner for Marriage 00:25:18 Taking Time to Know Your Partner 00:27:27 Planning for a Successful Future Together 00:31:36 Building a Strong Foundation in Relationships 00:39:46 Key Red Flags in a Potential Partner 00:43:50 Seeking Clarity and Guidance in Relationships 00:45:18 Special Coaching Offer for Personal Growth

This is a special Message for girls who are 12 and up

You have always had power in a relationship

You just have to find it.

Society wants to tell you that a powerful woman sleeps with many men

No, you have more power than that. Yes you can manipulate men with your breasts and what is between your legs but that is cheating yourself

You are not held back by some all-scary patriarchy. First look at what a patriarch is, It is the oldest man in the family, ie your grandfather. If you are being held back by anything it is by your own thoughts.

Men find you sexier and more attractive when you dress up with a bit of modesty.

Wearing revealing clothes just makes you look easy when you are single. Yes, you can appear more sexy when worn from time to time. but that only fully works when you are married and you and your husband are out at a social event.

You have more power over men than feminists want to admit. You ask nicely and men will crawl across a desert of broken glass just to give you refreshing iced tea.

You do have to bring something a relationship what is it? Yes, we men are easy, just show us boobs and hand us a sandwich and we are generally happy creatures for the most part. Yet there is more. Men will work themselves to the bone for their woman but they want something for their efforts.

But we want our women to push us. to encourage us on our adventures. We want our beauties by our sides.

Do your damnedest to stay sexually pure. this is for your enjoyment as much as your husband. when you sleep with a guy outside of marriage you sadly cheapen yourself and at the same time, you rob your future husband of a fuller richer connection. Because we do take sex to mean more than just a quick release. Sex has a bigger meaning for men. It is how we see our worth. Is our wife willing to have sex with us after we have worked long and hard slaying dragons? No? then what is wrong with us? How and where did we men fail?

Men do share their emotions. They just don't share them as women do.

with out other men we lose the masculinity we need in our life

You will wonder where the man you fell in love with went.

In this episode, I address young women, from ages 12 to about 30, and discuss the challenges they face in finding a good partner in today's society. I emphasize the power that women already possess, contrary to societal messages that may suggest otherwise.

I highlight the importance of maintaining purity before marriage and the value it brings to a relationship. Additionally, I delve into the emotional aspects of men, the significance of male friendships, and the creation of value in relationships. I stress the role of personal growth and the importance of making choices that enhance one's value and contribute positively to relationships.

By challenging societal norms and encouraging individual empowerment, I aim to guide young women towards building fulfilling and successful partnerships in their lives.

00:00:00 Empowering Young Women 00:01:02 A Message for the Women 00:01:32 Addressing the Struggles 00:02:50 Finding Valuable Men 00:03:37 Sensitivity and Uncomfortable Truths 00:04:06 Embracing Your Power 00:04:29 Debunking Myths and Stereotypes 00:07:07 Decisiveness and Differences in Approach 00:07:57 Harnessing Your Power 00:09:06 The Value of Modesty 00:11:28 Understanding Men's Emotions 00:12:38 Importance of Quality Male Friendships 00:13:33 Building a Strong Relationship 00:16:30 Cherishing Your Identity 00:20:24 The Beauty of Sexual Purity 00:21:34 Emotional Expression in Men 00:24:15 The Weight of Sexual Choices 00:26:46 Importance of Mutual Respect 00:28:18 Impact of Social Circles 00:29:47 Learning from Mistakes 00:30:32 Contribution to Relationship Value 00:31:01 Investing in Future Relationships

When it comes to talking to each other we often get so much wrong. It isn't because we don't care or don't want to be heard but we simply don't know how to communicate effectively. Our ability to open good solid channels of communication lags behind our ability to talk. The hang-up is the habits we have created when we were growing up. Our thoughts of what the other person is saying. We believe that emotions happen to us and so when someone says something that isn't nice and doesn't feel good, we stop communicating and that is when we actually need to lean in and communicate even more.

Tony Overbay at the Virtual Couch Podcast often talks about his 4 pillars of effective communication and I still don't have a fully solid grasp on them but I see the benefits enough to want to share these pillars with you.

1. Assuming good intentions
2. Don't send the message of "you're wrong" or "I don't believe you," EVEN IF you think the other person is wrong, or you don't believe them
3. Ask questions BEFORE making comments
4. Stay present, lean in, and do all that you can to stay out of "victim mode."

These 4 pillars are different than The 4 pillars of a Relaxed Male these help you to build a better platform of being able to be heard and understood. All while helping you and those close to you to build the much-needed connection that you crave.

the person you are talking to didn't wake up and say they want to make your life hard today.

Even if they are, don't shut the connection off by saying they are wrong

See to understand before being understood

You lose all respect and connections that way

When it comes to talking to each other we often get so much wrong. It isn't because we don't care or don't want to be heard but we don't know how to communicate effectively. Our ability to open good solid channels of communication lags behind our ability to talk. The hang-up is the habits we have created when we were growing up. Our thoughts of what the other person is saying. We believe that emotions happen to us and so when someone says something that isn't nice and doesn't feel good, we stop communicating and that is when we actually need to lean in and communicate even more.

Tony Overbay at the Virtual Couch Podcast often talks about his 4 pillars of effective communication and I still don't have a fully solid grasp on them but I see the benefits enough to want to share these pillars with you.

1. Assuming good intentions
2. Don't send the message of "you're wrong" or "I don't believe you," EVEN IF you think the other person is wrong, or you don't believe them
3. Ask questions BEFORE making comments
4. Stay present, lean in, and do all that you can to stay out of "victim mode."

These 4 pillars are different than The 4 pillars of a Relaxed Male these help you to build a better platform of being able to be heard and understood. All while helping you and those close to you to build the much-needed connection that you crave.

the person you are talking to didn't wake up and say they want to make your life hard today.

Even if they are, don't shut the connection off by saying they are wrong

See to understand before being understood

You lose all respect and connections that way

In this episode, Bryan, the host of The Relaxed Male, discusses the importance of effective communication in relationships. He expresses gratitude for the growing number of listeners and their support in sharing the show with others. Bryan acknowledges the struggle of wondering if anyone is listening but finds encouragement in hearing from men around the world. Bryan explains that the lack of communication often stems from not following certain rules or pillars. He introduces the four pillars of effective communication, as explained by Tony Overbay.

These pillars include assuming good intentions, not starting off with "you're wrong," asking questions, and not playing the victim. Bryan emphasizes the importance of following these rules to improve communication with spouses, children, bosses, or anyone else. However, Bryan explains that he himself sometimes fails to follow these pillars.

He admits to not fully listening to his spouse and often having other thoughts in his head. He shares that his spouse often expresses frustration about certain things, and they end up blaming each other, building a wall that hinders effective communication. Bryan further discusses the fourth pillar of good communication, which is not playing the victim. He explains that it's important to ask questions and find solutions instead of trying to coach his wife, as she sees it as "Zen Buddha bullshit."

By asking questions, Bryan believes that they can understand each other better and avoid conflicts. He emphasizes that yelling and preaching only result in nobody listening. Moving on, Bryan delves into the importance of effective communication in relationships. He emphasizes that when we break the rules of engagement out of frustration, we actually lose the battle and create distance between ourselves and our partner. A lack of understanding can lead to a lack of respect, so it's crucial to ask questions and seek clarity.

Bryan encourages listeners to approach conversations with curiosity and to avoid playing the victim. Instead, he suggests standing up for oneself, taking care of one's own needs, and making changes in communication tactics. He concludes by inviting listeners to share the podcast with others and offering a special coaching package to those interested in improving their communication with their partners. He encourages listeners to take action and looks forward to discussing another great topic in the next episode.

00:00:00 Rules of engagement for effective communication 00:01:02 Effective communication makes you the go-to person 00:02:11 Growing audience and the power of effective communication 00:09:32 Effective Communication: Understanding Frustration and Assumptions 00:12:05 The Importance of Active Listening and Avoiding Blame 00:15:00 Asking Curious Questions to Improve Understanding and Resolve Conflict 00:18:38 The Importance of Effective Communication in Relationships 00:20:01 Avoiding Disrespect and Playing the Victim in Conversations 00:22:38 Take Action to Improve Communication and Change Your Life

I can't because of my Flaws, limitations, confines, distortions, scars, imperfections, or irregularities

So many in society want to help you be OK with your flaw by helping you fight for that flaw.

We turn to being a victim of our flaws instead of bettering ourselves because of it.

Yet there are a few good powerful questions you could ask yourself.

1. What does this make possible?
2. What can I learn from this limitation?

• ADHD - Seen as you not being able to concentrate
• Introvert
• Dipsomania
• Anxiety
• autism

Your thoughts about the flaw is why it is holding you back. there are plenty of blind people who write books. There are deaf people who record podcasts. Stevie Wonder is blind but plays the piano. Addicts drop their compulsions every day. You don't have to be held back, yet you are why?

It serves you by helping you to feel safe. It doesn't help you get to your next level but helps you play the victim. Your mind helps you to play small instead of going big. Why? because it believes you are safer if you stay at home and don't venture out.

You can see it as a flaw or a superpower

Is it holding you back or is it the reason you are going to be great?

Maybe it is the obstacle that you need to overcome to be the best.

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we explore the concept of celebrating our flaws and overcoming barriers to achieve our goals. The host introduces the topic and explains the purpose of the show in helping men remove their "nice guy" personas and live life on their own terms. The focus is on assisting men facing challenges such as divorce, job loss, or daily struggles.

Moving into the main discussion, we tackle the perception of flaws and why we tend to view them as reasons for failure. Challenging this perspective, we encourage listeners to see their problems as potential solutions. Gratitude is expressed towards the audience, including new listeners, and positive interaction with a gentleman from Bangladesh who found inspiration from the show is shared.

The importance of celebrating flaws and debunking the notion of embracing limitations is explored, with examples like physical disabilities highlighted to challenge the idea that limitations hold us back. The episode delves further into how limitations can be seen as obstacles that we can overcome.

The inspirational story of Oscar Pistorius, known as Blade Runner, breaking records despite not having legs is used as an example.

Asking the question, "What does this make possible?" when faced with problems or barriers is emphasized as a powerful tool.

The discussion then shifts to reframing certain flaws or conditions, such as ADHD, as superpowers rather than limitations. Societal norms that label ADHD as a limitation are questioned, with the perspective that it can be a valuable asset, especially in areas like entrepreneurship or multitasking. The overall message is to challenge the stories we tell ourselves about our limitations and embrace them as opportunities for growth. The podcast also explores the topic of introversion and how it should not be used as an excuse to avoid socializing. The increasing disconnect in our society is highlighted, with introversion being seen as a mindset that can be changed.

Similarly, alcoholism and anxiety are both discussed as choices and normal responses, respectively, rather than limitations. The importance of facing anxieties and self-doubt head-on is emphasized. The notion of worrying about what others may be saying about us is also challenged, with the idea that negative talk can be seen as a positive influence we have on others. Autism is mentioned as a topic often talked down about, but the episode encourages embracing differences and uniquely viewing the world. It is emphasized that a diagnosis or being part of a specific group is not necessary and that individuals should focus on overcoming obstacles in their way. Success stories of individuals with autism, like Temple Grandin, are highlighted as proof that a so-called "flaw" doesn't have to hold us back.

The speaker reflects on personal struggles with smoking and the decision to quit, sharing physiological issues and the lingering desire for a cigarette at times. It is emphasized that flaws and compulsions are just thoughts and circumstances that can be overcome through mindfulness and finding reasons to hold attention. Dedication and not allowing flaws to hold us back are key themes reiterated by the speaker.

The speaker explores historical obstacles faced by black doctors and how they had to overcome them to prove their abilities. Listeners are urged to take control of their own power and influence in their lives, rather than resorting to destructive actions. The idea that flaws can either be destructive or become strengths, depending on how they are perceived, is reinforced. The speaker encourages listeners to see obstacles as opportunities and decide if they truly want to change in order to achieve their dreams.

The episode concludes with a coaching offer exclusively for podcast listeners, providing an opportunity for one-on-one work with the host to gain confidence and find passion in life.

00:00:00 Introduction to celebrating flaws and barriers 00:03:43 The podcast is gaining momentum and reaching new listeners 00:07:00 Overcoming limitations by asking empowering questions 00:09:52 Boys vs Girls in Learning Styles 00:13:29 Introversion as an Excuse and Overcoming Limitations 00:15:28 Alcoholism as a Coping Mechanism and Perception of Disease 00:17:51 Uncertainty of gossip and assumptions about oneself 00:22:08 Challenging misconceptions and celebrating achievements despite flaws 00:25:38 Understanding and harnessing the strengths of ADHD 00:27:12 Black Doctors and Overcoming Obstacles 00:28:36 Using Flaws as Superpowers and Creating Change 00:30:08 Overcoming Obstacles to Achieve Dreams

Many times we experience the circumstances that are other people's emotions. We people have emotional breakdowns at times. We often get ourselves into trouble for things we have no control over or any effect on if we try to change it. We often will get ourselves into more trouble if we try to change the other person's emotions.

What is an emotion?

Many people want us to use their manual on how to behave around them, and that works at times but people don't like to be manipulated all the time.

What do we make other people's emotions mean?

The truth of those emotions

So we aren't supposed to care about how other people feel?

No, but we put way too much stock in what we believe those emotions mean.

In this conversation, we discuss the universal nature of emotions and how people tend to put their emotions on display, which can lead to reactions from others. We introduce ourselves as Brian, a certified men's coach who helps men navigate through life challenges and become better leaders. We talk about the purpose of the show and express gratitude for the listeners. We also encourage listeners to share the show with others. We then dive into the topic of other people's emotions and how it can be a struggle, using the example of a wife getting angry. We explain the concept of the model, which involves examining the circumstances, thoughts, and emotions in a situation. We provide various emotions that could arise from a door-slamming incident and conclude by questioning the definition of a "slam."

Next, I talk about how emotions are subjective and can often be misunderstood. I share a personal example of how my passionate speaking style can be misconstrued as yelling by my wife. I emphasize that most of the time, a person's anger or emotions have nothing to do with us and are a result of their thoughts. I discuss the model of circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results, explaining how our thoughts create our emotions, which in turn lead to our actions and results. I highlight the problem of non-digital thinking, where we try to avoid certain emotions and end up causing more problems. I emphasize the importance of understanding and examining our emotions without resistance, even the negative ones like jealousy, to better understand ourselves.

We then discuss how emotions are often displayed through our actions and body language. For example, when we're angry, we may scowl or sulk in a corner. Inaction is also a form of action, like not addressing a problem because of anger. Emotions can be challenging to control, which is why some people want a manual to help them feel better. However, others don't really care about our emotional state. People may rebel against others trying to manipulate their emotions through manuals. The issue arises when we attach meaning to other people's emotions. For example, if we see someone having a meltdown, we may interpret it as them being angry because they didn't get their own way. Sometimes, people's true emotions come out when they're drunk. This is when masks come off, and they may exhibit unpleasant emotions. Many people shy away from others displaying negative emotions, but we often try to fix the problem when it involves our loved ones' emotions.

It's about being fully engaged in the present moment and noticing the thoughts that arise in our minds. When someone else's emotions trigger a reaction in us, it's important to recognize that their emotions are their own and not something we can control. We may interpret their actions as a reason to get angry or upset, but it's essential to be aware of our own thoughts and emotions at that moment. For example, I share a personal anecdote about interpreting my wife's sigh during an intimate moment as a sign of disinterest, which affected my own arousal. I later realized that her sigh may have been a momentary shift in her thoughts and not a reflection of her feelings toward me. I suggest that many men, particularly from my generation, struggle with porn-induced erectile dysfunction due to a lack of intentional focus on their thoughts. To overcome this, I emphasize the importance of being present with our bodies, paying attention to sensations and emotions, and letting go of unhelpful thoughts. I conclude that by practicing mindfulness and staying focused on the present, we can better understand our own reactions and choose how we respond to others' actions and emotions.

When we pay attention and are intentional with our thoughts and emotions, we have more pleasant interactions with people. We can sit with and examine our unpleasant emotions and understand why they are not as scary as they seem. Emotions originate from thoughts and we have a wide range of emotions that make us human. We don't have to let other people's emotions control us, as we have the power to control our own emotions. It's important to understand and control our own emotions before trying to understand and respond to others. Taking the time to acknowledge our emotions and apologize for any wrongs can lead to better connections and understanding with others. We should be intentional with our actions and not use distractions, like playing video games, to avoid unpleasant emotions.

At the beginning of the conversation, we expressed the importance of paying bills, even though it is not necessary. We mention that we and our spouse have discussed the issue and resolved it by voicing our concerns. We advise listeners to step away from heated arguments and take time to cool down and regain control of their thoughts. We emphasize the importance of intentional and effective communication for a better relationship. If listeners need assistance, we suggest setting up a consulting call with us. We explain that becoming a differentiated person, living as individuals while enjoying each other's company, can lead to a better life and relationship. We humorously mention the need for acceptance of each other's flaws. We offer a special coaching opportunity and encourage listeners to visit a specific website for details. This coaching package is currently free, but we mention that the price will increase for future participants. We also mention the importance of sharing the podcast and being part of the growing community. We end with gratitude and encourage listeners to take action.

The Correlation of the withdrawal of dads and The Lack of masculinity

In the US, divorce rates more than doubled from 2.2 per 1,000 in 1960 to over 5 per 1,000 in the 1980s. 

Lack of dads and the increase of anxiety-ridden children

Great Society - 1964

The government started taking the place of Fathers in the household and the marriage rates started to decrease in the 80's around 20 years for the new generation to start having kids.

Dad's the Disciplinarian

Dads the Mentor

Dad baggage

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322877#Is-anxiety-increasing-in-the-U.S.?

For instance, a meta-analysis published in 2010 took data from studies that included over 77,000 young people; the scientists found generational increases in mental health issues in 1938–2007.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/marriage_rate_2018/marriage_rate_2018.htm

Increase anxiety and depression

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, the host, Bryan Goodwin, discusses the crucial role that dads play in their children's mental well-being. He addresses the issue of dads being overlooked in the parenting process and the favoring of mothers in the court system. While recognizing the importance of moms, Brian emphasizes the need for dads to be actively present in their children's lives. Brian challenges common arguments against father involvement and highlights the benefits of having both parents actively participate in raising a child. He also delves into the historical context, discussing how social welfare programs have impacted marriage rates and subsequently led to a decline in mental health. The main speaker then shifts the focus to concerns about the mental well-being of younger generations, particularly millennials and Gen Z.

They reference an article from Business Insider that raises alarm about Gen Zers bringing their parents to job interviews, suggesting a lack of independence and fortitude among this generation. Bryan argues that society lacks involved fathers, not just married men, but fathers who feel excluded or unwanted by women. They assert that this lack of father involvement contributes to the increase in mental health problems. While acknowledging that women can raise good kids without a dad, they emphasize the importance of having a father figure in a child's life. The roles of a father as a disciplinarian and provider of roughhousing play are highlighted as crucial for teaching restraint and discipline. Bryan criticizes the degradation of the role of dads in society, attributing it to the rise of toxic masculinity as a concept. They assert that toxic masculinity is not synonymous with masculinity itself but rather the absence of proper masculinity. The speaker believes that boys require male role models to learn what it truly means to be masculine.

Addressing the issue of homelessness, Bryan argues that the absence of fathers in homes contributes to the problem. They suggest that living outside the city can be a more affordable option despite additional commuting costs. The speaker contends that homelessness has become comfortable for some individuals due to society's sympathies, emphasizing the need for discipline and mentorship from fathers. The importance of mentorship is further emphasized, as Bryan suggests that fathers should transition into becoming mentors for their children from the age of 13. Concern is expressed over the increasing number of girls identifying as boys and vice versa, with the speaker emphasizing the unique challenges faced by individuals of both genders.

In the podcast, Bryan also discusses how kids are becoming more susceptible to manipulation and coercion, resulting in irreversible harm. They highlight the importance of waking up to these issues and taking action to protect children from the woke agenda. Taking funds away from schools is presented as an effective way to change teaching approaches, and the failed voucher program in Oklahoma is mentioned as an example.

Bryan encourages dads to fight for their children and make sacrifices to be closer to them. They challenge the idea of being just an employee and suggest taking on bigger projects to generate income. The speaker offers a coaching package to help dads be better men and mentors for their children, with limited availability and a discounted price mentioned. The podcast concludes with Bryan providing contact information and encouraging listeners to reach out for assistance if needed.

00:00:00 The Importance of Dads for Kids' Mental Health 00:01:44 The Role of Dads and Moms in Raising Children 00:04:15 Dad's Role in Mentally Healthy Kids 00:11:35 Roughhousing and Disciplinarians: The Role of Fathers 00:13:20 The Decline of Fatherhood since the 1960s 00:14:47 Homelessness, Choices, and Mentorship 00:21:42 The Importance of Dads in Schools 00:23:42 Taking Control of Your Life and Being There for Your Kids 00:25:11 Mentoring Children for Success and Confidence

I just got off of a 7 day fast of no food or sugar. All I allowed myself was Water, Coffee, and salt. And today I wanted to share what I learned from that experience

What many people think fasting is

What I experienced

I wanted to challenge myself. no diet reason No protest reason. no religious reason. Just wanted to see what it was like to fast for 7 days.

I wanted to see what my thoughts when in that type of hardship was. I didn't focus on food but I noticed fast food signs everywhere.

just hungry

Hungry at times But also noticed darker urine and no need to go poo

the internet says that I wasn't getting enough water despite drinking 3 gallons of water in those two days alone

the hunger is still there from time to time along with the darker urine but it was beginning to lighten up to a bright yellow

Oily stool

On normal enough days, nothing exciting happened. I was even able to go get my wife some food and not be tempted

But I also went shopping and I could smell the food everywhere. Even the rotisserie chicken from across wal-mart.

I showed myself that I could do hard things and this one didn't do the wear that the 22km walk did back in 2022. I do have worries that I may have slowed my metabolism down a bit but that is my biggest worry

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the topic of challenging ourselves and the importance of embracing hardships. As the host of the show, I have a deep understanding of the struggles men face in their everyday lives, whether it be divorce, work-related issues, or family troubles. I am committed to helping men find the courage and confidence to relax and enjoy life to the fullest. We begin by discussing the need to push ourselves and do hard things, as our modern lifestyles have made us comfortable. Our ancestors faced regular hardships and challenges, such as the Great Depression, which forced them to adjust to difficult circumstances. It is time for us to adopt the same mindset and embrace challenges. We recognize that our eating habits have shifted from consuming food for sustenance to seeking comfort, which has contributed to the obesity problem we face today.

To challenge this mentality, I recently embarked on a seven-day fast and completed a physically demanding challenge of carrying 22 pounds on my back while walking 22 kilometers. Although I faced difficulties during the journey, pushing my limits has always been something I enjoy. While there have been failures along the way, such as attempting a long bike ride, I have learned to recognize when something is beyond my capabilities. After completing the walking challenge, I realized that I had been neglecting other areas of my life, such as taking care of my house. This lack of fulfillment led me to understand the importance of pushing myself further.

During the seven-day fast, I had to navigate through various physical and mental challenges. Hunger was to be expected, but it was manageable. With increased water consumption and proper electrolyte balance, I was able to sustain myself. As the days progressed, I faced temptations in truck stops and grocery stores, with enticing aromas constantly surrounding me. However, I remained focused on my fasting journey and resisted the urge to give in to these temptations.

Throughout the fast, I became more mindful of my food cravings and worked to change unhealthy eating habits. I introduced healthier snack options and limited my indulgences. On the sixth and seventh days, I allowed myself a reward of cherry vanilla ice cream, acknowledging the need for balance. Beyond the physical challenges, I also focused on my thoughts and mindset during the fast. I realized that many of my thoughts revolved around food cravings and potential moments of self-pity.

Dark humor among friends became a coping mechanism during this time, allowing me to navigate the tough moments. In conclusion, challenging ourselves and embracing hardships is crucial for personal growth and development.

Whether it is a fast, a physically demanding task, or any other challenging activity, stepping out of our comfort zones is essential. I encourage listeners to seek out these opportunities and appreciate the good things in life that come as a result. As a token of gratitude, I offer a free coaching opportunity and provide guidance on how to sign up. Let's all strive to push ourselves and become better versions of ourselves.

00:00:00 Introducing the challenge and its significance 00:02:49 Reflection on the show's progress and personal challenge undertaken 00:04:36 An anecdote about the host's great-grandfather's resilience 00:08:11 The relationship between comfort eating and lack of challenges 00:10:09 Challenging Myself: Adventures and Bike Rides 00:11:40 From Bike Rides to Car Rides: Lessons Learned 00:13:36 The Experience of Fasting for Seven Days 00:19:03 Tempted by the Aromas of a Truck Stop 00:22:27 Grocery Shopping Temptations and Snack Selections 00:27:52 The Importance of Paying Attention to Your Thoughts 00:32:00 Embracing Discomfort and Overcoming Challenges 00:34:48 The Benefits of Taking on Challenges in Life

• The avoidance of thoughts and emotions
• So we have a reason to not try

• So we do not have to face the uncomfortable thoughts and emotions we have
• Our mind's way of helping us stay small and not be noticed

We like to look to the past for reasons to not go forward.

We let the past hold us back from the success we could have.

• Phrases
  • I have never done this before
  • That is how everyone else has done it before
  • I have seen this before
  • The Old days were better
• Talking about the past or nostalgia
• You won't let go of Grudges

Links Mentioned

36 Questions

Take The Next Step

In episode 211 of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the topic of how the past can hold us back and discuss the concept of buffering. Buffering refers to the act of avoiding thoughts and emotions by distracting ourselves with other activities. Unfortunately, many of these activities are unhealthy habits such as excessive shopping, video games, or pornography. Engaging in buffering behaviors prevents us from facing our problems head-on and hinders our personal growth and progress in life. To move forward, we must overcome our fear of discomfort and embrace new experiences, much like when we were learning to walk or ride a bike. By examining our thoughts and breaking down our problems, we can conquer buffering and achieve our goals. During this part of the podcast, I emphasize the importance of not allowing past experiences to hold us back from trying new things.

To illustrate this point, I share a personal anecdote about learning to ride a bike and how I had to face challenges and make mistakes to eventually succeed. I highlight the significance of understanding our partners' preferences and energy in relationships, using the example of pet names. I stress the need for open communication and adapting our approach to better connect with our partners. Additionally, I discuss the significance of having realistic expectations when rekindling long-term relationships. We all strive for deeper connections with one another. It's not about constantly being at odds, but rather about forging meaningful bonds. For me, this involves focusing on two main pillars: my body and my community, with my wife playing a vital role in the latter. While we spend a significant amount of time together in the same house, it is crucial to intentionally spend quality time together. We have begun asking each other thought-provoking questions from a set of 36 questions designed to strengthen love and understanding.

Reflecting on the past, I used to hold onto resentment towards my wife for rejecting me sexually. However, I have come to realize that sex is not solely about my desires. It takes effort to create a safe and comfortable space for my wife to want to engage in sexual intimacy. I need to appreciate and understand her perspective instead of dwelling on my frustrations. I now understand that relying on past hurts as an excuse to distance myself emotionally is counterproductive. Building a fulfilling physical relationship requires trust, mental insight, and a profound understanding of the person we love. I empathize with young men in today's dating world who may believe that offering sexual pleasure alone will sustain a relationship. Healthy relationships require so much more.

Many men hold the misconception that sex is all they need in life. However, it is much more complex than that. Most men desire a wholesome and fulfilling relationship with their wives, yet many struggle to maintain it. Instead, they choose to buffer by indulging in activities such as watching television, reminiscing, or immersing themselves in pornography and video games. Unfortunately, this buffering behavior prevents them from cultivating deep relationships with their partners and children. Men often cling to grudges that ultimately end up harming themselves rather than the person they resent.

 To live a fulfilling life, men must let go of the past, abandon buffering behaviors, and take intentional steps towards their goals. By doing so, they can cultivate better relationships, create successful businesses, and experience overall happiness. The key is to start making decisions and cease allowing past experiences or the actions of others to hinder our success. Victims never win, but those who take action and move forward do. If you are seeking assistance in achieving your goals, I urge you to reach out for free coaching for a six-month period.

Through this coaching, you can improve your mindset, build strong relationships, discover your passion, and accomplish what you truly desire in life. Contact me for more information, but keep in mind that spots are limited and the offer for free coaching will not last forever. The price will eventually increase, so seize this opportunity now. Thank you for listening, and I wish you a fantastic week. Until next time!

00:00:00 The Past: A Barrier to Success 00:00:43 Introducing The Relax Mail and Helping Men Through Struggles 00:02:58 Appreciating Female Listeners and Their Impact 00:08:29 Childhood bike accidents and bruised crotch memories 00:10:35 Trying something new and making mistakes in relationships 00:18:28 Men are more complicated than just wanting sex and food. 00:20:01 Let go of the past and embrace new possibilities. 00:23:00 Stop looking back and start taking steps forward. 00:25:12 Stop being a victim and start being a doer. 00:28:14 A Slip of the Tongue 00:28:37 Limited Time Offer: 100% Off Coaching Package