The Relaxed Male

New year has arrived how are you going to have the best year in your life?

Plan and pursue

• Why having plans is needed - https://www.relaxedmale.com/why-you-want-to-plan-your-year/

Build your 4 pillars

• Man's Mind
• Man's Body
• Man's Soul
• Man's Community

Get a coach

What I am doing this year

• Fasting 4 times
• Getting 10 clients
• Getting a coach

In this episode of The Relaxed Male podcast, the host begins by welcoming listeners and discussing the importance of being intentional in the new year. They stress the need to make plans and set goals rather than just talking about them. The host acknowledges that decision-making can be challenging for men but encourages them to overcome their fear and take action. The main speaker dives into the concept of decision-making and the fear of missing out on other options. They believe that making decisions can make a person stronger, despite the common excuses people make to avoid planning and setting goals.

They emphasize the importance of pushing oneself and going through challenges to become a better person. The speaker criticizes men who desire attention from attractive women without putting in the effort to improve themselves. They then share their own goal of fasting for seven days but mention that their spouse expressed concerns and questioned the safety of the decision. However, the speaker is confident in their ability to complete the fast and mention an example of someone who went over a year without eating. They acknowledge that hunger pains and temptations will be a challenge but express determination to overcome them. They plan to repeat the fasting challenge four times throughout the year to improve their physical pillar. The main speaker discusses the discomfort that comes with learning something new and the importance of having a plan. They share a link to a blog post about the benefits of planning and explain that our brain's natural inclination is to seek pleasure and avoid pain, making learning new things challenging.

They also emphasize the need to step out of our comfort zones and embrace the discomfort of setting goals and experiencing failures. They introduce the four pillars of relaxed mail, which include the mind, passions, body, and community. The speaker suggests working on the mind by reading books and listening to educational podcasts, pursuing passions, taking care of the body through exercise and proper nutrition, and building a strong community of meaningful relationships. The speaker discusses the importance of having a strong community and setting a goal to have 10 close friends.

They emphasize the need to actively engage with others, learn something special about them, and form meaningful relationships. They acknowledge that some may feel overwhelmed by this idea and come up with fear-based thoughts, but it is essential to open oneself up to others and build a community. The speaker highlights that seeking support and guidance from a community can help apply what one has learned and make progress in various aspects of life. They also mention the importance of having a coach who can help identify and overcome limiting beliefs, provide guidance and accountability, and propel personal growth further.

The main speaker plans to fast four times and acquire 10 clients while seeking a business coach to enhance their coaching practice in the upcoming year. The main speaker continues by sharing the history of The Relaxed Male, which started as a men's catalog and evolved into a blog focused on helping men. They reflect on the growth of their podcast and the fluctuations in listenership over the years.

They express gratitude for every listener and emphasize the importance of providing value and trusting that success will come with time and consistency. The host encourages listeners to share the podcast with others and invites them to explore new podcasting apps that offer interactive features. They also mention a few spots still available for free coaching and highlight the importance of genuine dedication to self-improvement.

The episode concludes with a reminder to share the podcast on social media platforms and visit the show notes on the website for more information. The host also encourages listeners to get in touch and leave a message on the website if they're interested in free coaching. The episode ends with a message of gratitude to the audience and the anticipation of future growth.

00:00:00 Welcoming 2024 and Making It Your Best Year Yet 00:09:58 The Transformation of a Lump of Coal into a Diamond 00:16:27 Understanding and managing our wife's emotions 00:19:00 The importance of making a plan and setting goals 00:26:38 Building a Strong Community for Men 00:36:11 Consistency and Growth in Special Day Posts 00:46:05 Building a Viewership and Changing Society

In this episode of the Relaxed Male podcast, the main speaker discusses the importance of investing in oneself and the different aspects of life that are worth investing in. They highlight the benefits of learning new skills and investing time and money in personal development. The speaker emphasizes the value of maintaining physical health and pursuing passions wholeheartedly. They also emphasize the importance of investing in relationships and building a strong support network. Financial investments are mentioned as well, with the need to balance risk and potential outcomes. Additionally, the speaker discusses the value of acquiring knowledge through reading and attending conferences in one's field of interest. Coaching is also highlighted as a significant investment for personal growth and mindset shift, with the announcement that the main speaker is currently offering free coaching for six months. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to reach out and take advantage of the coaching offer, as well as a message of optimism for the year ahead.

00:00:25 Introduction and explanation for delayed episode recording 00:03:09 Differentiating between time and money as investments 00:06:30 What to invest in: personal, body, passions, relationships, finances 00:09:49 The significance of investing time in learning and self-improvement 00:11:38 Mastering Thoughts to Avoid Overeating and Unhealthy Habits 00:12:19 Mastering your body and learning new things 00:14:10 Investing in weight loss and pursuing passions 00:15:37 Investing in training and pursuing relationships 00:19:09 Investing in Mind, Body, Soul, and Community 00:20:26 Various Ways to Invest in Yourself 00:23:44 Major Returns through Coaching 00:25:30 Unlocking Possibilities through Coaching 00:27:16 Investing in Personal Growth through Coaching 00:28:24 Free Coaching Offer with Limited Spots Available 00:29:06 Double the Value: 6 Months of Free Coaching 00:30:53 Wrapping up 2023, Exciting Year Ahead

In this episode of the podcast, we delve into the topic of setting boundaries during the holiday season when families come together. We recognize that the mixing of families can sometimes lead to problems due to a lack of understanding of boundaries. As the host, I introduce the purpose of the show, which is to help men remove the "nice guy" persona from their lives and live on their own terms. We discuss the importance of boundaries and how they can make our lives better. We acknowledge that each family has their own set of expectations and rules, which can lead to stress and anxiety when different viewpoints clash. I mention the concept of a "manual," which is the set of thoughts and beliefs we have about how others should behave. We highlight the need to overcome the desire to control others and the potential conflicts that can arise. It is emphasized that letting go of rigid expectations and relaxing during the holiday season can lead to a more enjoyable experience.

Moving on, I reflect on the idea of manuals and expectations that we have for ourselves and others. I give examples of how we all have our own manuals and expectations, such as expecting a two-year-old to stay at the table until they finish eating. I discuss the importance of respecting others and the emotional response that can arise when we hear someone being disrespectful. Political discussions at the dinner table are mentioned as a sensitive topic that can cause anxiety, particularly in young people. We explore how everyone has their own manual and how we can take things personally when others behave differently. The example of dealing with an intrusive mother-in-law and the harm that can stem from harmful manuals in such situations is brought up. Additionally, the potential problems that excessive drinking can cause, as people tend to speak their minds while intoxicated, are discussed. We then discuss the challenges of setting boundaries and the fears and thoughts that may arise. It is mentioned that worrying about what others will think if we establish boundaries against them can be a concern. However, we emphasize the importance of prioritizing the well-being of ourselves and our families.

The effectiveness of boundaries in limiting certain aspects of relationships is acknowledged, but also the potential for them to prevent people from getting closer to each other. For instance, if a boundary is set against a mother-in-law disciplining a child, it is important to be prepared to enforce it and deal with any potential backlash. The support and agreement of one's spouse when setting boundaries is emphasized, as it can make the process easier. Prior to attending a family gathering, it is recommended to discuss expectations with one's spouse and establish boundaries around issues such as excessive drinking. It is further emphasized to be prepared for others to have thoughts and opinions about the boundaries, but to remain firm in one's decisions. It may take time for family members to respect and adhere to the established boundaries, and they may try to test the limits.

However, it is crucial to stand one's ground and enforce the boundaries that have been set. Some individuals may not respect the boundaries simply because they do not respect the person setting them. In the case of a mother-in-law, there is a high chance she may try to cross the established boundaries. To effectively set boundaries with family members, it is important to establish clear rules and communicate them effectively. It is acknowledged that there may be resistance or pushback, but standing firm in one's boundaries is crucial. By notifying family members in advance and calmly explaining expectations, it is possible to respectfully enforce the boundaries. It is recognized that one cannot control how others react, as they may have their own thoughts and objections.

However, maintaining the integrity of the boundaries and following through on the consequences that have been established is emphasized. This may include leaving a family gathering early or missing out on certain events. It is normal for anxiety and worries to arise throughout this process, but understanding that setting boundaries is a personal decision can help alleviate some of these concerns. The idea that one is allowed to have their own thoughts and ramblings in their mind is mentioned, highlighting that they are just thoughts and not necessarily reality. It is acknowledged that what one perceives as yelling may not be perceived the same way by others. The importance of setting boundaries, even if they may seem unreasonable to some, is emphasized as a personal decision.

The discussion concludes by encouraging listeners to share any resonating thoughts on social media and to reach out for help with setting boundaries or living life on their own terms. The availability of six months of free coaching is mentioned, enticing listeners to connect and see how they can help each other. The episode ends with a final thank you and well wishes until next time.

00:00:00 Setting Boundaries During the Holidays 00:02:28 The Challenges of Family Manuals and Expectations 00:07:15 The User Manual: Our Individual Expectations and Reactions 00:09:10 Balancing family dynamics and personal boundaries 00:11:00 Setting boundaries with intrusive family members 00:17:35 Establishing Boundaries with Family 00:19:30 Enforcing Boundaries and Consequences 00:24:13 Thank you for listening, share with others 00:25:20 Reach out for help in setting boundaries and living on your terms

In this part of the conversation, I, Brian, the host of the show called Relaxed Male, discuss the concept of victimhood and how I personally left behind the victim mindset. As a certified men's coach, I aim to help men remove the "nice guy" persona from their lives and live on their own terms. In this episode, I focus on the negative impact of adopting a victim mentality and how it affected me. I explain that despite experiencing certain events in my early life, such as my parents' divorce and moving with my dad, I refuse to label them as traumatic. Instead, I believe that my anger and grudges stemmed from my own thoughts and perspectives. I share an example of how I had a difficult time following instructions and even got a teacher fired because I stubbornly refused to do something she asked of me. Throughout my academic years, I would often blame others for my lack of success, such as my dad for not disciplining me or my teachers for not teaching me effectively.

However, I eventually realized that it was my own fault for not putting in the effort and taking responsibility for my actions. This pattern continued into my college years, where I blamed my roommate for not understanding my financial situation. But deep down, I knew that I needed to take control of my own life and stop playing the victim. It was only through this realization that I started to see the consequences of my lack of responsibility, such as being stuck in low-level jobs without any progression. As I became a parent and got married, I recognized that I needed to take responsibility not just for myself, but also for the direction of my family's life. 

 share how we would talk about our dreams, hopes, and aspirations as a family, but I never took the necessary actions to make them a reality. Eventually, I hit a midlife crisis at the age of 40, realizing I hadn't accomplished anything and missed out on opportunities like taking my kids camping. I learned the hard way that someday never comes and we need to approach life with intention, not playing the victim. Without direction, we're just floating and can't get anywhere. Playing the victim had also hindered my professional growth and nearly cost me my marriage. I started seeking intimacy elsewhere, which almost led to an affair.

Thankfully, my wife found out before it went too far. I realized that playing the victim only holds me back and prevents me from taking responsibility for my actions. Victims do not earn respect because they refuse to learn from their experiences. Once I stopped playing the victim, I began making progress and achieving more in life. I emphasize the importance of accepting responsibility for all actions, even when the results may seem unfair. Taking responsibility also applies to leadership roles, as it builds trust within a team.

I offer coaching to anyone who wants help in breaking free from the victim mindset. I mention a once-in-a-lifetime special where five people can receive six months of free coaching from me, but the spots are limited. Interested individuals can reach out to me through email or my website to sign up for coaching. I express gratitude to the listeners for tuning in and encourage them to ask questions or share the podcast/show with others. I let them know that I am open to having conversations and reaching out to others. I ask listeners to spread the message of Relaxed Male by sharing the podcast/show on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I emphasize that growth can only happen with the help of listeners sharing the content. In conclusion, I thank the listeners once again and wish them a great rest of the week.

If you would like to take me up on the special offer please email me [email protected]

00:00:00 Introduction to the topic of victimhood and leaving it behind 00:01:35 Welcoming new listeners and addressing their problems 00:03:00 Sharing personal experience of parental divorce and custody 00:04:14 Grudges and anger towards parents and stepparents 00:05:19 Taking responsibility for personal thoughts and actions 00:06:57 Recognizing patterns of avoiding responsibility and facing consequences 00:09:08 Carrying victim mentality into college life and financial struggles 00:10:39 Realization of Lack of Responsibility and Stagnation 00:19:32 Breaking Free from the Victim Mindset 00:22:33 Embracing Leadership and Leaving Victimhood Behind

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, I talk about the topic of overwhelm and how to control it. I introduce myself as a certified men's coach, grateful for the positive impact my show has had on men's lives thanks to the support of listeners.

I explain that overwhelm occurs when we take on too much and feel uncertain about our next steps. I emphasize that overwhelm is not solely caused by external circumstances, but also by our own beliefs about needing to do more. I discuss the idea that overwhelm is not created by external circumstances such as work assignments or family pressures, but by our thoughts about these circumstances. I highlight that overwhelm is just an emotion, a vibration felt throughout our bodies. By understanding this, we can alleviate some of the pressure and not let overwhelm consume us.

I identify specific thoughts that contribute to overwhelm, such as putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves, believing there are only extreme outcomes, and setting unrealistic expectations. By recognizing and challenging these thoughts, we can prevent overwhelm. I explain that overwhelm hinders our progress and prevents us from taking action. The belief that we must be perfect before starting something keeps us stuck. People-pleasing and the fear of disappointing others also contribute to overwhelm.

Poor time management and an inability to say no can also lead to overwhelm and eventual burnout. To control overwhelm, we need to recognize when we're feeling it, understand that busyness doesn't solve the problem, and be intentional in our thoughts. We must question whether we've taken on too much and learn to say no.

By changing our thoughts and beliefs, we can overcome overwhelm and regain control. I stress the importance of changing our thoughts and learning to say no when we don't have the capacity to take on more tasks. Effective time management and getting more done in less time can also help combat overwhelm. It's crucial to examine the beliefs that lead us to say yes to everything even when overwhelmed. Instead of pushing through and telling ourselves lies, it's better to be honest and communicate our limitations. By changing our thoughts and being intentional with our emotions, we can fight overwhelm.

I offer free coaching sessions to assist those who need help in combating overwhelm.

Listeners can reach out via email to get more information and start living a life without overwhelm. If this resonates with them, I encourage them to share the episode with others who may benefit. Thank you for listening and take care.

00:00:00 Introduction: Exploring Overwhelm and Control 00:06:12 Overwhelm: Understanding the Source 00:09:02 Breaking the Pressure Valve: Overwhelm is Just an Emotion 00:17:23 Overwhelm caused by poor time management and taking on too much 00:19:31 Control overwhelm by being intentional with thoughts and saying no

In episode,  we delve into the common challenge of setting new year's resolutions and subsequently abandoning them shortly after. This often stems from the obstacle of not having the desire to put in the necessary effort or make the required changes. 

I shed light on the resistance and obstacles we encounter in various aspects of our lives, ranging from mundane tasks to substantial responsibilities like paying taxes. I lay emphasis on the importance of making choices based on our genuine desires, even if it entails exerting effort and making sacrifices. Life consists of a series of choices, and conquering the "I don't want to" mentality is pivotal for personal growth and success.

The easiness of the path we choose often stems from our unwillingness to endure the discomfort associated with doing things we don't want to do. Reflecting on a blogging prompt, I realized that I consistently try to skip certain parts of my routine. I don't want to wake up early and exercise or engage in activities that take me out of my comfort zone. However, if I truly aspire to make changes in my life, I must rise above these desires.

One effective way to tackle this is by having a clear vision of what I want to achieve. In my case, it involves building a prosperous coaching practice and leading life-changing trips for men. However, I cannot accomplish these goals if I settle for a meager income. I highlight the irony of complaining about wealthy individuals, as they provide opportunities for others. Stepping out of my comfort zone, I outline a specific vision for my future, including the house I intend to construct and the land I aspire to possess.

Although this vision may evolve along the way, I presently possess a plan and a willingness to embrace failure as an integral part of the process. Despite attempting different approaches such as advertising and sales, they didn't yield desired results because I didn't have the inclination to pursue them in the first place. Moving on, we delve into the significance of honing selling skills and finding effective strategies to overcome obstacles.

One suggestion is cultivating an accountability partnership to maintain motivation and stay on track. We underline the importance of examining the resistance we experience towards certain tasks and goals and assessing whether they align with our values and personality traits. Additionally, delegating tasks that fall outside our expertise or aren't worth our time is crucial. Appreciating the value of our time aids in prioritizing tasks efficiently. Shifting focus, we discuss the concept of our different zones.

Initially, we address the issue of spending money on tasks that we could delegate to others. Instead of investing in expensive equipment, hiring technicians proficient in efficiently handling such tasks proves to be a cost-effective option.

• We then explore the idea of different zones within our work. The first is the zone of incompetence, where we falter with tasks that we lack skills in. 
• The zone of competence follows, where we possess proficiency but not necessarily passion.
• Many find themselves operating within the zone of excellence, where they exhibit high levels of skill but still experience friction and burnout.
• Lastly, there is the zone of genius, where our true passion and calling reside.

Identifying and delegating tasks according to our zones is paramount. Mindset plays a crucial role in overcoming obstacles and achieving success. By examining our thoughts and making subtle shifts in perspective, we can surmount challenges and unleash our full potential. Concluding the episode, I express immense gratitude for listeners and make an exciting announcement. I will be giving away five spots for a six-month coaching package completely free of charge! Yes, you heard it right, absolutely free. However, this opportunity necessitates time, effort, and a testimonial from participants at the end. This arrangement enables me to obtain testimonials while simultaneously providing value to individuals. It doesn't matter who you are or what aspect you want to work on, we will collaborate for six months, once a week, to tackle any challenges you face and set you on the path to success.

Interested individuals can email me at

[email protected]

, with the subject line indicating their desire for the free coaching.

We will then schedule a Zoom call to find a mutually convenient time. Keep in mind that these five spots are limited, so act swiftly! Future opportunities at reduced rates will be available, but don't wait for that. Lastly, I reassure listeners that they can reach out to me through social media or personal contacts with any questions they may have. With that, I bid them a fantastic and productive week ahead, urging them to confront any obstacles head-on.

00:00:00 New Year's Resolutions: Overcoming the "I Don't Want It" 00:01:07 Introduction: Helping Men Overcome Suffering and Play Small 00:02:36 Teaser: Big Announcement at the End of the Show 00:04:35 The Resistance in Our Lives and the Swamp of Ida 00:06:11 Choosing "I Don't Want" Because It's Easier 00:07:18 Overcoming "I Don't Want" to Make Changes in Life 00:09:31 Dreaming of Living Off the Land 00:11:04 Accountability and Finding Alignment with Yourself 00:17:35 The Costly Mistake of Misallocated Resources 00:19:08 Finding Your Zone of Genius 00:22:21 Setting up a console call to address the problem 00:23:51 Announcement: Giving away free coaching spots for testimonials 00:24:38 Offering Free Coaching for All, Regardless of Gender or Genre 00:26:01 Limited Time Offer: Discounts Decrease Over Time

In this episode we explores the theme of redemption and the belief many men struggle with, feeling unworthy due to past mistakes. Bryan reflects on his own penchant for talking and lack of conversation opportunities while driving a truck.

He highlights how many men limit themselves based on past actions and the false belief that they are undeserving of happiness and fulfillment. Bryan candidly discusses his personal journey of self-improvement, acknowledging his past shortcomings and struggles with a victim mindset.

He emphasizes the importance of reflecting on how one has changed and evolved, even if they were the same person years ago. Bryan shares insights from the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, which supports the belief that we shape our reality through our agreements. He discusses the power of words and the impact they can have on our self-esteem and pursuit of passions.

Bryan introduces the four agreements: being impeccable with our words, not taking things personally, avoiding assumptions, and always doing our best. He explores the transformative power of positive thinking and the ability to let go of regrets. Bryan encourages listeners to embrace personal growth, confront their fears, and take steps towards fixing past mistakes.

He offers a coaching program to help individuals examine their thoughts and adopt empowering beliefs. The goal of the podcast is to support men in living fearlessly and on their own terms.

00:00:11 The Road to Redemption Begins 00:01:38 Spike in Downloads and Gratitude to Listeners 00:03:09 Self-Worth and Redemption: Overcoming Past Mistakes 00:11:51 Embracing Personal Growth and Overcoming Victim Mentality 00:13:28 The Power of Agreeing or Disagreeing with Others' Judgments 00:22:27 Taking things personally and the realm of misery 00:25:15 Always do your best, live life to the fullest 00:32:42 Society's Misconception of Men

Accessing your why

Your purpose

What comes with purpose?

• Gratitude
• Growth mindset
• The desire to keep learning

In this episode of The Relaxed Male, I, discuss the importance of making small changes in our lives to find fulfillment and energy. I believe that understanding the root causes of our suffering and learning to relax and enjoy life is essential. I have noticed that many men start new endeavors with enthusiasm but quickly lose motivation. Today, I want to explore why this happens and highlight the importance of accessing our purpose or "why." I specifically discuss the example of losing weight and how it is crucial to shift our mindset from "I gotta" to understanding the deeper reasons behind our desire for change. Accessing our purpose and aligning our goals with self-love rather than external expectations can lead to fulfillment and energize us each day. I express gratitude for my listeners and share my excitement for future episodes and ideas.

During the episode, I talked about the concept of a reticular activator, which is our brain's tendency to focus on the opposite of what we tell ourselves. I stress the importance of finding a personal "why" or motivation for pursuing goals. Accepting ourselves for who we are in the present moment is also crucial. For example, if we want to lose weight, we need to set achievable goals and focus on feeling better rather than solely achieving a certain weight. I also discuss the significance of self-acceptance and changing our perspective on our own body image. I emphasize that external factors and objects cannot bring lasting happiness or fulfillment, and that true motivation and energy come from within. I encourage my listeners to reframe their thoughts, find gratitude in everyday tasks, and cut out negative self-talk and self-judgment.

I urge them to start seeing themselves in a better light and focus on feeling fulfilled rather than solely on physical appearances. Expanding our perspective and shifting our mindset is crucial. Let's stop fixating on our flaws and start accepting and loving our bodies. If that seems too difficult, we can find something we do like about ourselves, such as nice shoulders or a full head of hair. Starting with something positive, we can work on changing our self-talk and view of ourselves. It won't be easy, considering we've spent years criticizing ourselves, but we can't let old habits control us. We need to challenge negative thoughts and remind ourselves that we are not defined by our physical appearance. By changing our mindset and focusing on our purpose, we can experience more gratitude and fulfillment in life.

It's important to embrace a growth mindset, accept that we will make mistakes, and learn from them. Failure is an opportunity for growth and improvement. With a desire to learn and grow, we can discover new strategies and techniques that work for us in our weight loss journey. Even small victories should be celebrated, as they can bring great satisfaction. To make progress, we must identify and eliminate limiting thoughts that drain our energy and replace them with empowering ones. This mental shift can make a tremendous difference. For those who need additional guidance, I offer coaching services to accelerate their transformation. I encourage listeners to consider alternative perspectives, share the podcast with others, and visit my blog, which contains a wealth of resources. Society needs stronger individuals dedicated to their beliefs, and together, we can foster personal growth. I express my gratitude to the listeners and look forward to the next episode.

00:00:00 Finding fulfillment and energy through a small mindset change. 00:02:23 Overcoming the cycle of motivation and failure. 00:03:20 Accessing your purpose and finding fulfillment in life. 00:09:50 Finding Fulfillment and Motivation from Within 00:10:45 Questioning the Government's Entitlement to Our Funds 00:11:18 Shifting Perspective: Finding Gratitude in Paying Taxes 00:14:03 Developing a Growth Mindset: Learning from Mistakes 00:21:31 Empowering Men to Become Better Versions of Themselves

In this part of the conversation, we discuss the prevalence of discussions around mental health and the increase in depression and suicide rates. Despite the increased awareness, rates of depression and suicide have continued to rise, leading us to question why this might be the case. We speculate that the emphasis on mental health may have unintentionally contributed to the increase by bringing more attention to these issues. One possible reason for the increase in mental illness is the constant attention given to it. When mental health is openly discussed, people may start to believe that they must have a mental health problem themselves. Additionally, the differences in how men express their thoughts and emotions compared to women could be contributing to higher rates of suicide and depression among men. We also consider the impact of artificial connections through phones and social media. While these connections provide instant gratification, they lack the depth and authenticity of real connections with others. Our society's emphasis on instant gratification and the lack of appreciation for delayed gratification and deeper connections may be contributing to the problem. Moreover, an unrealistic expectation that we should be happy all the time could also be a factor. This expectation leads us to believe that any negative feelings we experience are abnormal. Ultimately, it is likely a combination of these factors that is contributing to the rise in mental illness. We emphasize that it is unrealistic to expect to be happy all the time. It is okay to feel sad or anxious, as these emotions do not ruin a person's day. We criticize doctors for prescribing SSRIs without fully understanding their impact, as blocking emotions can lead to problems like anger and numbness. We believe that face-to-face conversations and meaningful connections are vital for emotional well-being. We encourage open communication and sharing emotions with trusted friends. It's natural to feel stress as an adult, and we suggest finding healthy ways to manage it. If anyone needs help in finding coping mechanisms, we offer our assistance. In conclusion, it's crucial to be open about our emotions and recognize that it's okay to not feel happy all the time. We encourage listeners to share this message with friends, especially those who may be struggling. We must stop stressing over not feeling 100% and acknowledge that sometimes carrying a little bit of anxiety is normal. Sharing this information on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or Threads can help spread the word about our men's group, the Relaxed Male, and how we're changing lives one thought at a time. If you need further assistance, visit relaxedmale.com/coaching to schedule a consultation call. Reach out to us with any questions or to connect by sending an email to [email protected] or visiting relaxedmail.com/contact. Thank you for listening, and we look forward to the next episode. Goodbye! 00:01:07 The obsession with talking about mental health 00:02:25 The rise of anxiety and different types of mental illnesses 00:03:49 The prediction that narcissism will be the next big topic 00:10:38 Artificial Calories: The Lack of Real Connections 00:11:53 Microwave Society: The Death of Delayed Gratification 00:12:40 Unrealistic Expectations of Happiness 00:13:52 Life is 50-50: Embracing Pain and Pleasure 00:15:47 The Problem with Doctors and Medication 00:21:29 Embracing Emotions and Making Positive Changes 00:23:05 Seeking Personal Coaching and Contacting the Speaker

Why can't you find a high-valued woman? The answer is in you. Your results are from your thoughts. How much do you value yourself? Your personal values will reflect in the quality, if your view of yourself is low you are not going to have quality returns on your endeavors. No matter what they are. To receive value you have to produce value. All of life is a transition. The women will not be of the quality you desire because they are only attracted to men who are of high value.

Ayn Rand expresses this wonderfully in her book Atlas Shrugged. Actually, there are 2 Speeched that Fransisco D'anconia gives that play off of each other and they are both when he is talking to another character in the story named Hank Reardon. The one I wanted to share the most was the sex speech.

“Do you remember what I said about money and about the men who seek to reverse the law of cause and effect? The men who try to replace the mind by seizing the products of the mind? Well, the man who despises himself tries to gain self- esteem from sexual adventures–which can’t be done, because sex is not the cause, but an effect and an expression of a man’s sense of his own value.”

“You’d better explain that.”

“Did it ever occur to you that it’s the same issue? The men who think that wealth comes from the material resources and has no intellectual root or meaning, are the men who think–for the same reason–that sex is a physical capacity which functions independently of ones mind, choice or code of values. They think that your body creates a desire and makes a choice for you just about in some such way as if iron ore transformed itself into railroad rails of its own volition. Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a man’s sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions. Tell me what a man finds sexually attractive and I will tell you his entire philosophy on life. Show me the woman he sleeps with and I will tell you his valuation of himself.

No matter what corruption he’s taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which he cannot perform for any motive but his own enjoyment–just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity!–an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exaltation, only in confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces him to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and to accept his real ego as his standard of value. He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience–or to fake–a sense of self-esteem.

The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer — because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut. He does not seek to . . . what’s the matter?” he asked, seeing the look on Rearden’s face, a look of intensity much beyond mere interest in an abstract discussion.

“Go on,” said Rearden tensely.

“He does not seek to gain his value, he seeks to express it. There is no conflict between the standards of his mind and the desires of his body. But the man who is convinced of his own worthlessness will be drawn to a woman he despises–because she will reflect his own secret self, she will release him from that objective reality in which he is a fraud, she will give him a momentary illusion of his own value and a momentary escape from the moral code that damns him. Observe the ugly mess which most men make of their sex lives–and observe the mess of contradictions which they hold as their moral philosophy. One proceeds from the other. Love is our response to our highest values–and can be nothing else.

Let a man corrupt his values and his view of existence, let him profess that love is not self-enjoyment but self-denial, that virtue consists, not of pride, but of pity or pain or weakness or sacrifice, that the noblest love is born, not of admiration, but of charity, not in response to values, but in response to flaws–and he will have cut himself in two. His body will not obey him, it will not respond, it will make him impotent toward the woman he professes to love and draw him to the lowest type of whore he can find.

His body will always follow the ultimate logic of his deepest convictions; if he believes that flaws are values, he has damned existence as evil and only the evil will attract him. He has damned himself and he will feel that depravity is all he is worthy of enjoying. He has equated virtue with pain and he will feel that vice is the only realm of pleasure. Then he will scream that his body has vicious desires of its own which his mind cannot conquer, that sex is sin, that true love is a pure emotion of the spirit. And then he will wonder why love brings him nothing but boredom, and sex–nothing but shame.”

Rearden said slowly, looking off, not realizing that he was thinking aloud, “At least . . . I’ve never accepted that other tenet . . . I’ve never felt guilty about making money.”

Francisco missed the significance of the first two words; he smiled and said eagerly, “You do see that it’s the same issue? No, you’d never accept any part of their vicious creed. You wouldn’t be able to force it upon yourself. If you tried to damn sex as evil, you’d still find yourself, against your will, acting on the proper moral premise. You’d be attracted to the highest woman you met. You’d always want a heroine. You’d be incapable of self-contempt. You’d be unable to believe that existence is evil and that you’re a helpless creature caught in an impossible universe.

You’re the man who’s spent his life shaping matter to the purpose of his mind. You’re the man who would know that just as an idea unexpressed in physical action is contemptible hypocrisy, so is platonic love–and just as physical action unguided by an idea is a fool’s self-fraud, so is sex when cut off from one’s code of values. Its’ the same issue, and you would know it. Your inviolate sense of self-esteem would know it. You would be incapable of desire for a woman you despised. Only the man who extols the purity of a love devoid of desire, is capable of the depravity of a desire devoid of love. But observe that most people are creatures cut in half who keep swinging desperately to one side or to the other.

One kind of half is the man who despises money, factories, skyscrapers and his own body. He holds undefined emotions about non-conceivable subjects as the meaning of life and his claim of virtue. And he cries with despair, because he can feel nothing for the woman he respects, but finds himself in bondage to an irresistible passion for a slut from the gutter. He is the man whom people call an idealist. The other kind of half is the man whom people call practical, the man who despises principles, abstractions, art, philosophy and his own mind. He regards the acquisition of material objects as the only goal of existence– and he laughs at the need to consider their purpose or their source.

He expects them to give him pleasure– and he wonders why the more he gets, the less he feels. He is the man who spends his time chasing women. Observe the triple fraud which he perpetrates upon himself. He will not acknowledge his need of self-esteem, since he scoffs at such a concept as moral values; yet he feels the profound self-contempt which comes from believing that he is a piece of meat.

He will not acknowledge, but he knows that sex is the physical expression of a tribute to personal values. So he tries, by going through the motions of the effect, to acquire that which should have been the cause. He tries to gain a sense of his own value from the women who surrender to him– and he forgets that the women he picks have neither character nor judgment nor standard of value. He tells himself that all he’s after is physical pleasure– but observe that he tires of his woman in a week or a night, that he despises professional whores and that he loves to imagine he is seducing virtuous girls who make a great exception for his sake. It is the feeling of achievement that he seeks and never finds. What glory can there be in the conquest of a mindless body? Now that is your woman chaser. Does the description fit me

• A Woman with a very low to no body count
• A Woman who sees the value of a woman and isn't out to try to be a man
• Has a secure attachment style
• Has worked through her daddy issues (See Body count)
• Isn't dragging around kids from different men (see body count)
• Puts her heart into all that she tries
• Is up for the adventure her man is going to take her on
• will confidently push her man to be better and will accept her man pushing her to do the same.
• Willing to work as a team with her man
• Doesn't use the term partner but husband

Whether you are just divorced, not married, or married. You can up your value.

Build your mind

Build your body

Feed Your Soul

Grow your Community

This episode of The Relaxed Male, hosted by Bryan Goodwin, explores the topic of finding the right high-value woman. Bryan emphasizes that seeking a high-value partner is not derogatory, but rather a way to avoid low-quality relationships. He urges men to reflect on their own actions and take responsibility for their inability to find a high-value woman. Bryan shares personal experiences that led him to become a coach and help men navigate relationship challenges. He highlights the importance of seeing oneself as a high-value individual in order to attract high-value partners. In another part of the conversation, Bryan discusses Ayn Rand's book "Atlas Shrugged" and its impact on understanding the value individuals bring to society.

He focuses on Francisco D'Anconia's speech on money at an anniversary party and its significance in highlighting the origin of money, the role of trade, and how it represents a person's effort and value. Bryan discusses the corrupting nature of money when sought for selfish gain and emphasizes that money should be obtained through work and productivity, reflecting one's character and values. He highlights the correlation between a person's values and their sexual choices, asserting that one's sexual preferences are a reflection of their fundamental convictions and philosophy in life. The conversation also delves into the concept of money and its connection to human morality.

Bryan emphasizes that money should be seen as a means to create wealth and dismisses the guilt and shame often associated with prosperity. He emphasizes the importance of understanding that wealth has to be created and denounces those who denounce the idea of making money. Bryan also discusses the selfish nature of sex and its impact on a person's sense of worth, emphasizing that sex requires self-esteem and confidence.

He argues that corrupting one's values leads to a distorted view of love and sex and advocates for embracing one's values and acknowledging the role of physical expression in relationships. Additionally, Bryan discusses the qualities that make a woman high-value, such as having a low or no body count, embracing femininity, having a secure attachment style, and working through any daddy issues. He emphasizes the need to value and respect partners, work as a team, and support each other's growth in relationships. Bryan also discusses the importance of expanding one's circle of friends, investing in personal development, and nourishing one's soul to increase individual value and attract higher-value partners.

He encourages listeners to introduce others to their community and offers coaching sessions to help individuals recognize their worth and gain confidence. The episode concludes with a call to share the show with others, subscribe, and follow on preferred podcast platforms. Bryan expresses gratitude for the listeners' support and looks forward to continuing the conversation in future episodes.

00:00:01 Introduction to The Relaxed Male - Helping Men Embrace Authenticity 00:00:23 Introducing The Relaxed Male and the purpose of the show 00:03:22 Self-reflection on why one can't find a high-quality woman 00:06:07 Shifting mindset and perception of self-value 00:08:34 Reading and discussing Francisco D'Anconia's speech on money 00:11:19 The Connection Between Money, Wealth, and Intelligence 00:14:01 Money's Role in Providing Means and Satisfaction 00:16:17 Money as a Means of Survival and the Verdict on Livelihood 00:18:39 The Hatred and Love of Money and its Virtuous Nature 00:20:55 Corruption and the Decline of Society 00:32:44 Damned to Depravity: Equating Virtue with Pain 00:37:36 High Value Men and High-Value Women 00:41:26 The Role of Sex in Relationships 00:45:24 Building a Strong Relationship and Increasing Personal Value 00:50:36 Growing your community and increasing your value