The above message is entirely commentary. I point out what I believe to be the temptations and Biblical dangers associated with going to extremes, by comparing and contrasting the Charismatic Movement vs. John MacArthur and the Sola Scriptura camp.

The Lord has restored my peace as I just stood and waited on Him

Reflecting back on my over zealousness and how I have misheard God and gotten too excited at times and gotten ahead of Him

It's humbling to listen to old recordings and hear of my weakness

Feeling God is encouraging me with 212 regarding my future wife

Realizing several people will be discouraged about God using numbers to speak to me

There is a high cost to pay in order for God to speak to you

The lesson of Jacob -- I'm Not letting go of God until He blesses me

The more you hold on to God, the less of you there will be

The story of why I'm leaving my church

How God used John MacArthur and the book Strange Fire to open my eyes to the other side of theology

My greatest torment in my soul so far is being around professing believers who have no love of God in their heart

My laments about the teachings of Joseph Prince which stop short of the full truth

Revelation about the birds of prey devouring our sacrifice in Genesis 15:11

Thoughts on not going beyond what is written

God shows me Romans 8:18 again and again to comfort me in my suffering

Questioning why is it so easy to be so downcast in my soul

The revelation that I am only suffering the persecution of others and not the real consequences of what they have all said would happen to me.

Distinguishing between happiness and joy and even though I don't have much happiness, I still have much joy

Enduring the cross for the joy set before us on the other side of the cross

In a moment of weak faith, I ask the Lord to refresh me and He reminds me I have put my eyes back on my circumstances and off of Him.

Taking back up my shield of faith by reflecting on God's promises

There are just going to be days that are very difficult, no matter how much Bible reading and praying we do

Not feeling well physically is affecting my faith too, but I took encouragement from the story of Gideon

Struggling to keep my eyes on Jesus because my circumstances are so visible

The temptation to quit, get a job, and just shrink back from faith in God

Speaking directly to my children, "It will take so much longer than you think when God asks you to trust Him with something difficult"

Waiting on God means you are surrendered to Him

The Toughest struggle of my life has been waiting on God...I have such a strong desire to quit because quitting would be so much easier

The Christian life is so bipolar and we have so many ups and downs because we have such leaky hearts and forget so quickly the Lord's past faithfulness to us

Telling God I want to quit, but praying He will never let me do so

All of my being is staggering in weariness...during prayer God shows me again on Heb 12:2

No Money for Christmas for the 1st time in my life, shows me that God indeed closed the door for me to be able to see the children for Xmas

Days later the Lord encourages me through two other people regarding my faith to one day be married again

Hello, World!

Mom comes to me with last minute "deliverance" idea. God shows me 919 in advance to tell me to stay put. She calls my thinking delusional

Commentary explaining the climax of my pain when the moment comes for me to tell the children God has not delivered me and I cannot come get them.

Crying clip of my anguish as I wait for the children to call me to give them the bad news

Commentary with encouraging insights as I look back on the crosses I have had to take up and what God has finally brought about

Revelations on just how difficult strong faith really is

I increasingly feel like a foreigner to those who live the self-sufficient life, ignorant of the life of true faith in God

The toughest phone call I've ever had to make, calling my children to tell them I cannot come and get them

The suffering of walking totally in the "dark" and having no idea what will come next as my circumstances worsen

Commentary on contentment

Running out of tears, but I'm still willing to be one of those FOOLS in the Bible who trusts God not matter what!

Realizing more and more that the work of God we must do is to "Believe Him" and trust Him

Realizing it is the professing believers around me who do not actually know the Lord that have been the one's most used to distract me or pull me away from obeying God

Anticipating the frustration of trying to explain my current walk of faith to my father who is lost and has no faith in the One True God

I feel myself looking at how dire the circumstances are and I'm starting to sink

Persevere...persevere...fighting to keep the faith

Mom asks if I'm not taking her help to go to the Florida to get the kids because I'm afraid of going to jail?

God encouraging me to persevere with 11:22 and 11:01 (Mark 11:22 and Heb 11:1

A list of several ways I could take matters into my own hands and work a deliverance for myself

Realizing how hard it is to persevere and keep the faith

Explaining the truth to my children about their pastor who sinned and then killed himself

I over hear my parents mocking my faith and my waiting for God regarding finances and the children

Terrible dream about all of my friends and family have turned against me and mock me and put pressure on me.

Coming down to the last day for God to deliver me in order for me to go see the children

Revelations on taking up the cross and denying yourself using my children as an example

The lesson of realizing I don't have to try to hard to convince others

Revelations on enduring the shame of our cross

Perseverance goes 100% of the way, not 99% of the way

Defining what it means to carry your cross

The two stages of suffering and death to self

If we quit on our cross, it was all for naught

Tempted to email Laura but God shows me 1 Pet 5:12 to stay put

Fearing not being able to see my children for Christmas, I ask the Lord for mercy and for a vacation from the cross and I sense He tells me there are no vacations from the cross

Very sad about the high possibility I will not be able to see my children for Christmas and yet telling the Lord I will carry my cross as far as He wants

My mom tries to put pressure on me to get ahead of God's commands to me and get my license and go get the children.

Realizing the terrible suffering coming if I cannot go pick up the children

Realizing how quickly we forget God's past Providences and answered prayers to us and we start wavering in our faith after only a few days

Satan's blows lead to spiritual amnesia and we forget what God has promised and done

The most frequent number and Scripture God has shown me is 616, Eph 6:16 take up the shield of faith

We must hold firmly to our faith!

The awareness that all these recordings are to one day be a highway for other people to follow Christ on Only the Holy Spirit can teach another man anything

My thoughts after the talk with my parents about me being mentally ill, and how tough it is to be a follower of Jesus Christ

Step-father asks how I think God is going to deliver me

Examples of how nothing by faith in the Bible makes sense or looks rational

God is giving me and keeping me in peace in spite of the craziness of this all

Listening to the same messages as my parents, but they cannot see what I see

Realizing my parents are not accusing me, they are accusing God in me

Continuing to hold firmly to my faith, trusting God steadfastly

Faith strengthened by reading in the Bible about God's supernatural provision for those who trust Him

Encouraged again by reading A.W. Tozer chapter "The Saint Must Walk Alone"

Incredible time God shows me a friend would be call me sick, which would free me up to go to the mountain after God showed me 646

Fearing I will lose the closeness with God when He removes my affliction

Asking God not to let the persecution stop and if this is mental illness, give me more!

Realizing I don't need people anymore, but I long to help them to know God like this!

Thoughts on the false church My friends testify they know no one who is seeking God like I am

Learning to stand firm on God's first words to me when the circumstances change and flaming arrows of doubt come flooding in

It would take more faith to believe the naysayers around me than the words God has spoken to me, because my life is lining up with His ways and dealings with others in the Bible

Coming under severe doubt and flaming arrows about the numbers...see 616 ask God for a sign and He shows me 555

God shows me Luke 4:24 - No prophet is accepted in his own hometown

Amazed and encouraged by what I read in Psalm 41:5-12

A recorded argument with my parents, where they are convinced I am out of my mind.