THE RE:STARTACADEMY

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Ready for the most uncomfortable conversation in divorce recovery? In this episode, we're diving deep into a topic that requires courage: examining your own contributions to your marriage problems.

This episode is NOT for women who were abused, manipulated, or genuinely victimized. But if you've been honest with yourself and know that your marriage problems weren't entirely one-sided, this conversation is for you.

Host Temi Samuel tackles the difference between victim-blaming and healthy self-reflection, exploring common patterns like:

• Avoiding conflict until you explode
• Expecting your partner to read your mind
• Using emotional manipulation to get your way
• Mothering your partner then resenting the mental load
• Losing yourself in the relationship

This isn't about self-flagellation or taking all the blame. It's about reclaiming your power by taking responsibility for the parts that were actually yours—so you can do better next time.

You'll learn the difference between healthy self-reflection and destructive self-blame, plus get practical guidance on examining your communication patterns, emotional regulation, and boundary-setting skills.

The bottom line: Taking responsibility for your part isn't self-blame—it's self-empowerment. And it might be the key to creating the healthy relationship you actually want.

Warning: This episode requires nuance, compassion, and courage. Come prepared for an honest conversation that could change how you approach future relationships.

The Restart Academy Podcast is for divorced women rebuilding their lives after devastating divorces. No toxic positivity, just real conversations about the messy truths of healing and starting over.

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LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit https://www.therestartacademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: [email protected]/[email protected]
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
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In this episode of The Restart Academy Podcast, I'm calling out a phrase that makes me absolutely furious because it's so damaging to women going through divorce, yet it gets thrown around like it's profound wisdom.

If you've been told your divorce "happened for a reason," that there's a purpose in your pain, or that you should be grateful for this experience because it's teaching you something, this conversation is for you.

I'm Temi Samuel, and as a wellness coach who went through my own devastating divorce over a decade ago, I've heard every version of this toxic phrase. From "God has a plan" to "everything is a lesson" to "this is making you stronger" - all designed to make YOU responsible for finding meaning in someone else's cruelty.

🎧 In this episode, we explore:

• Why "everything happens for a reason" invalidates your right to feel pain
• The different variations of this phrase and how they're all harmful
• How this saying protects others from your discomfort while silencing you
• The difference between "earned meaning" (what you create) vs "imposed meaning" (what others force on you)
• Why some things happen for absolutely no reason except human cruelty
• What actual wisdom sounds like instead of spiritual bypassing

Here's what I need you to understand: Sometimes terrible things happen to good people for absolutely no reason other than the fact that they encountered someone willing to be terrible. That's not a cosmic lesson - that's just the shitty reality of human existence.

Your healing doesn't require you to find meaning in meaningless cruelty. Your growth doesn't depend on being grateful for trauma. And acknowledging that life can be random and unfair doesn't make you negative - it makes you honest.

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit https://www.therestartacademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: [email protected]/[email protected]
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
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In this episode of The Restart Academy Podcast, I'm calling out advice that gets handed to divorced mothers constantly and sounds caring on the surface, but is actually toxic and harmful to both you and your children.

If you've been told to "focus on the kids" and put your own healing on the back burner, if you feel guilty every time you take time for therapy or self-care, if you've been made to believe that being a good mother means sacrificing your mental health, this episode is for you.

I'm Temi Samuel, and as a wellness coach who went through my own devastating divorce over a decade ago, I understand the pressure to be the "strong mom" who keeps everything together while falling apart inside. But here's what I've learned: that mythical woman doesn't exist, and trying to become her is destroying you.

🎧 In this episode, we explore:

• Why the "strong mom" myth is impossible and harmful
• How "focus on the kids" advice actually enables your ex's bad behavior
• What your children actually need vs. what you think they need
• Why taking care of yourself IS taking care of your kids
• The airplane oxygen mask principle applied to divorce recovery
• How to model healthy emotional processing for your children

This isn't about being selfish or neglecting your children. This is about recognizing that you can't pour from an empty cup, and that the best gift you can give your kids isn't a mother who pretends to be fine - it's a mother who shows them what healthy healing looks like.

Your right to heal isn't secondary to anyone else's needs. Your mental health isn't less important than everyone else's comfort. And your children deserve to see what it looks like when someone prioritizes their own well-being.

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit https://www.therestartacademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: [email protected]/[email protected]
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
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In this episode of The Restart Academy Podcast, I'm talking about the devastating realization that your marriage might have been built on lies from the very beginning - and the crushing shame that comes with admitting it.

If you've ever looked back at your wedding photos and thought "Oh my God, he was lying to me even then," or realized that the person you married was performing a character that never actually existed, this episode is for you.

I'm Temi Samuel, and I've been exactly where you are. As a wellness coach who went through my own devastating divorce over a decade ago, I know what it's like to discover that what you thought was love was actually manipulation, deception, or exploitation disguised as partnership.

🎧 In this episode, we dive deep into:

• The different types of lies that marriages can be built on
• Why you couldn't have seen the signs (and why that's not your fault)
• The unique grief of losing not just your future, but your past
• How to stop the shame spiral and rewrite your story
• Why your capacity for authentic love isn't something to be ashamed of

This isn't just another episode about "red flags" - this is about the complex reality of discovering that your entire understanding of your marriage was wrong, and how to heal from that specific kind of trauma.

You're not stupid. You're not gullible. You're not weak. You were human being a loving woman , loving authentically while someone else was living a lie!

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit https://www.therestartacademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: [email protected]/[email protected]
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
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In this episode of The Restart Academy Podcast, I'm having a conversation that might be uncomfortable but desperately needs to happen. It's about women who are five, ten, even fifteen years post-divorce and are still living like their divorce happened yesterday.

If you've been divorced for years but still introduce yourself by your divorce status, if you still can't hear your ex's name without your whole body tensing up, if you're still telling the same divorce stories to anyone who will listen, this episode is your wake-up call.

I'm Temi Samuel, and as a wellness coach who went through my own devastating divorce over a decade ago, I understand trauma and the healing process. But there's a difference between healing (which isn't linear) and choosing to stay stuck in the victim stage of recovery indefinitely.

🎧 In this episode, we explore:

• The 5 types of women who never fully recover (Professional Victim, Eternal Prosecutor, Frozen in Time, Perpetual Preparer, Blame Game Champion)
• The secondary gains of staying stuck that keep women trapped
• What staying stuck is actually costing you (relationships, years, potential, power)
• Why some women choose victim status over victor status
• How to break free from patterns that no longer serve your healing
• The difference between surviving your divorce and thriving after it

This isn't about women who were genuinely abused or victimized - their healing timelines are their own. This is about women who, deep down, know they're using their divorce as an excuse to avoid building the life they actually want.

Here's the hard truth: At some point, your healing becomes your choice. At some point, staying stuck becomes a decision you're making, not something happening to you.

Your ex-husband has probably moved on with his life. Meanwhile, you're still giving him the starring role in your story. Don't you think it's time to fire him from that position?

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit https://www.therestartacademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: [email protected]/[email protected]
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
  ©...

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In this episode of The Restart Academy Podcast, I'm addressing something that nobody wants to talk about but desperately needs to be discussed - divorced women who never stop talking about their ex-husband, even years after the divorce is final.

If every conversation somehow circles back to your ex, if you find yourself bringing up your divorce in unrelated discussions, or if friends have started avoiding certain topics because they know it'll trigger another story about your marriage, this episode might be uncomfortable but necessary for you to hear.

I'm Temi Samuel, and as a wellness coach who went through her own divorce over a decade ago, I understand the need to process and be heard. But there's a difference between healing and staying stuck - and unfortunately, some women turn their ex-husband into the permanent starring role of their life story.

🎧 In this episode, we explore:

• The 5 types of women who can't stop talking about their ex (The Prosecutor, Broken Record, Analyst, Martyr, Controller)
• Why this pattern is actually keeping you emotionally tied to your ex
• How constantly rehashing your divorce is pushing people away
• The difference between processing your experience and making it your identity
• Practical steps to break free from this cycle and reclaim your story

This isn't about shaming anyone - it's about recognizing when a coping mechanism has become a trap. Your ex-husband doesn't deserve to be the main character in your life story forever, especially not the villain who gets all your mental energy.

You divorced him. Now it's time to fire him from being the center of every conversation.

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit https://www.therestartacademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: [email protected]/[email protected]
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
  ©...

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In this episode of The Restart Academy Podcast, I'm talking about the uncomfortable reality that you might never trust men the way you used to after divorce - and why that's actually okay.

If you've ever felt exhausted scrolling through dating apps before even starting, heard a man's promises and automatically thought "yeah, right," or felt guilty for not being able to take compliments at face value anymore, this episode is for you.

I'm Temi Samuel, and as a wellness coach who went through my own devastating divorce over a decade ago, I understand what it's like when your protective mechanisms kick in and everyone calls them "trust issues" like they're something broken that needs fixing.

🎧 In this episode, we dive deep into:

• Why your caution around men is actually intelligent, not damaged
• The difference between blind trust and wise trust
• How to spot the difference between the right man and the wrong man based on their reaction to your boundaries
• Why "not all men are like your ex" misses the point entirely
• How to embrace evolved trust instead of trying to go back to naive trust

This isn't another episode telling you to "put yourself out there" or "give men a chance." This is about giving yourself permission to trust differently, love differently, and approach relationships with the wisdom you've earned.

Your caution isn't a bug in your system - it's a feature. Your protective instincts aren't keeping you from love - they're protecting you from the wrong kind of love.

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit https://www.therestartacademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: [email protected]/[email protected]
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
  ©...

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The conversation no one wants to have but desperately needs to hear.

Are you carrying a shameful secret that makes you question your own sanity? Do you sometimes find yourself missing someone who hurt you deeply, and you can't understand why? You're not alone, and you're definitely not crazy.

In this raw, honest episode, Temi tackles one of the most taboo topics in divorce recovery: why some women miss their abusive ex-partners after leaving. If you've ever felt guilty for having conflicted feelings about someone who treated you badly, this episode will change everything.

You'll discover:

• What trauma bonding really is and how it hijacks your brain
• Why missing an abuser doesn't mean the abuse wasn't real
• The difference between missing someone and wanting them back
• How abusers engineer psychological dependence (it's not your fault)
• Practical tools for handling waves of longing without acting on them
• Why your complex feelings are actually evidence of your humanity, not your weakness

This episode is for you if:

• You feel ashamed of having any positive feelings toward your ex
• You're confused by missing someone who caused you pain
• You're worried that missing them means you're "not healed"
• You feel alone in having these complex, contradictory emotions
• You need permission to feel what you feel without judgment

Warning: This episode discusses emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. Please listen with care and reach out for support if needed.

LOVED THIS EPISODE? Hit subscribe so you never miss the real conversations that matter. Your healing journey deserves this level of honesty and support.

💌 SHARE THE LOVE Know a woman who needs to hear this? Share this episode. Sometimes knowing you're not alone is the first step toward healing.

⭐ LEAVE A REVIEW Your reviews help other women find these conversations when they need them most. A few words from you could change someone's entire restart journey.

🌟 READY TO DIVE DEEPER? Visit https://www.therestartacademy.com for:

• Free resources for every stage of divorce recovery
• Community support from women who truly get it
• Tools to build the life you actually want.
• CONNECT WITH TEMI:
  • Instagram: @TherestartAcademy
  • Tiktok:@TherestartAcademy
  • Youtube:@Therestartacademy
  • Email: [email protected]/[email protected]
• 💝 REMEMBER: You're not broken, you're rebuilding. You're not behind, you're exactly where you need to be. Your restart story is going to be incredible.
  The Restart Academy Podcast provides educational content and personal experiences. This podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy, legal advice, or medical treatment. If you're in crisis, please reach out to appropriate professional services in your area.
  ©...