The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

Getting older is something to celebrate according to today’s guest Cathleen Toomey, of the RiverWoods Group. But there are also realties to plan ahead for and adjust to along the way. You’ll want to do your homework and get sound advice so you’re well-educated on the options available for you to consider. And if you’re planning to age in place, you’ll want to hear what Cathleen has to say about that option.

Cathleen Toomey joins us from New Hampshire.

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Cathleen Toomey has led the sales and marketing efforts of the RiverWoods Group since 2007, during a period of expansive growth, when the organization doubled their size. She has done a TEDx talk “Secrets to Successful Aging“; and is a frequent presenter.  In 2021, she launched a podcast, Seniority Authority, “Let’s Get Smarter About Growing Older” to answer questions on aging. New Hampshire PBS recently aired a short series featuring Cathleen’s Seniority Authority content.

Prior to RiverWoods, Cathleen’s extensive brand building experience included work for Timberland, Stonyfield Farm, Babson College and Bentley University. A graduate of Fordham University (MA) and Fairfield University (BA), Cathleen began her career in ad agency work in New York City.

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For More on Cathleen Toomey

Insider’s Guide: Choosing a Continuing Care Retirement Community

Seniority Authority podcast

Video series on New Hampshire PBS

RiverWoods Exeter website

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Where Will You Live Next? – Ryan Frederick

An Anti-Ageist Second Act Business – Jan Golden

Are You Ready for The New Long Life? – Andrew Scott

Where to Retire – Silvia Ascarelli

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Mentioned in this Podcast Episode

Arthur Brooks

Robert Waldinger

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Wise Quotes

On Celebrating Aging

On Aging in Place

“The biggest fallacy that people have when they think about retirement is they say, “I’m going to age in place” and I’m putting quote marks in for your listeners age in place. Age in place means nothing. Age in place is a way to say, I’m going  to stay in my house and ignore the world and myself changing. So if you want to age in place, you have to modify your home. You have to set aside money for internal caregivers. You have to make a plan, you have to share it with your financial advisor, your kids, et cetera. You can’t just stay in your home and say, I’m aging in place – because that’s not a plan. So my big message to to your listeners is no matter what age you are, assuming you’re let’s say over 60, make a plan, cost it out, share it with your financial advisor, your elder care attorney, your attorney, your kids and and think about that. And if your plan is that your kids are going to take care of you, tell them. Let them in on that.”

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About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast

Take charge of your future.

Schedule a call to find how how the Designing Your Life process (developed by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans at Stanford) can help you unlock a new direction.  Learn more about our One and One coaching and small group programs. Take the first step toward your new life today.

Are you prepared for the non-financial side of retirement? Take our free quiz and see what you should be preparing for in your retirement planning.

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Are you kinder to others than you are to yourself? Dr. Kristen Neff is a leading researcher on self-compassion. She shares with us the multitude of benefits of self-compassion and how to learn the skill of being kinder to ourselves – and turn your inner critic into an inner ally.

Kristin Neff joins us from Austin, Texas.

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Kristin Neff received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, and is currently an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.

During Kristin’s last year of graduate school she became interested in Buddhism and has been practicing meditation in the Insight Meditation tradition ever since. While doing her post-doctoral work she decided to conduct research on self-compassion – a central construct in Buddhist psychology and one that had not yet been examined empirically. Kristin is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, creating a scale to measure the construct almost 20 years ago. She has been recognized as one of the world’s most influential research psychologists. In addition to writing numerous academic articles and book chapters on the topic, she is author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, and her latest Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.

In conjunction with her colleague Dr. Chris Germer, she has developed an empirically supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide. They co-authored The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook as well as Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program: A Guide for Professionals. She is also co-founder of the nonprofit Center for Mindful Self-Compassion.

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For More on Dr. Kristin Neff

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive

Website

The Mindful Self-Compassion Program (8 week course)

Research Overview:

Self–compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Chatter & Your Inner Voice – Ethan Kross

Happier Hour – Cassie Holmes, PhD

Retire Happy – Dr. Catherine Sanderson

The Emotional Side of Retiring – Kate Schroeder

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Mentioned in This Podcast Episode

New Study:

Resilience and Enhancement in Sport, Exercise, & Training (RESET): A brief self-compassion intervention with NCAA student-athletes

Wise Quotes

On the Benefits of Self Compassion

“The research is very, very clear. There are both mental and physical health benefits of self-compassion. So if you think of the word in Latin – compassion –  passion means suffering. It’s how are we with our suffering? And if we aren’t with it in a healthy way, in other words, if we dive into it or we become overwhelmed by it, we may develop depression or anxiety or sleep disorders, eating disorders, and then it also may start affecting our health. We might have a lot of cortisol, high blood pressure, and it can have these knock-on effects. So what happens with self-compassion is when we’re struggling, we’re hurting in some way. If we’re there for ourselves, like we would be for a supportive friend, that means we’re stronger and we’re more able to deal with the tough stuff without being knocked over by it. And so it’s linked to better mental health, not only fewer negative things like depression, anxiety, stress, but also positive mind states like happiness and optimism. And that’s because if you think about it, kindness and connectedness, these are positive emotions. So we’re kind of framing our difficulty. We aren’t pretending it’s not there, but we’re just being kind and supportive ourself to ourselves in the midst of the difficulty. And these are positive emotions that help us cope. And then that’s in turn linked to physical health. So for instance, we’re more self-compassionate, our cortisol levels are lower. We’ve got greater heart rate variability, for instance, and that means we also sleep better because we aren’t just beating ourselves up all night so that we can’t sleep. And so it’s linked to both physical and mental wellbeing.”

On Asking What Do You Need?

“The quintessential self-compassion question is, what do I need? And often we don’t even ask ourselves that question. It’s been dictated to us: Oh, I need to go to college. I need to get a graduate degree. I need to get a job. I need to have children. I need to send my children to college. I need to do this and this and this. We don’t ask ourselves: Well, what do I need? And again, one are the beauties of retirement is you can actually pause and say: Well, what is it that I need? What is it that I value? What’s really important to me? But you need to do it for yourself at this point. No one else is doing it for you. The structure isn’t given from the outside, it’s given from the inside. But it’s a beautiful time to be able to do some exploration of what are my values, what really gives me pleasure, what’s important to me. For many people, it’s a time of will actually service giving back that gives me pleasure.”

On Learning the Skills of Self Compassion

“So I started researching self-compassion in 2003, and then in 2008 I met, someone named Chris Germer who said: Kristin, I love your research, but it’s not enough just to research this stuff. You need to teach people how to be more self-compassionate. And then you can research that. And so I started teaming up with him. He had much more experience leading workshops. I had no experience in that area. And so we created something called the Mindful Self-Compassion Program, an eight week empirically supported program, with really good benefits. And so the workbook basically walks you through that eight week program, but in a workbook format, exercise by exercise. And it’s actually our bestselling book, my bestselling book, because if you want to learn self-compassion, it’s like all there. All the steps you need to learn self-compassion are in the workbook, all the basic concepts. It kind of takes you through an order starting small, working your way up. And it really lays out the skills of self-compassion. And they are skills. It is a resource. The good news is even if you aren’t used to doing it, it’s not a totally new skill because almost everyone has developed the skill of compassion for others. We know what it sounds like. We know what it feels like. The skill is just giving yourself permission to turn this resource inward and then not just outward. So it’s actually easier than you would think to practice self-compassion. The biggest hurdle is giving yourself permission and remembering to do it. But the workbook can be really handy for that reason.”

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About Retirement Wisdom

Are you clear on what’s next for you?  Don’t put it off. Get started on designing  your future. Schedule a call to discuss how my one-on-one Designing Your New Life in Retirement, Tiny Habits and Mental Fitness coaching programs can help you defeat uncertainty, gain clarity and direction.

About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career. He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

Have you ever worked on being more mindful? It takes practice and patience. But mindfulness may help you age wisely. Berit Lewis, author of Ageing Upwards: A Mindfulness-based Framework for the Longevity Revolution, believes so. In her view, “Ageing isn’t about decline. It’s about transition.”  Listen in for how mindfulness can enhance your life in the years ahead.

Berit Lewis joins us The Netherlands.

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Berit Lewis is an accredited MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) Teacher, trained in ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and also trained at Mindfulness in Schools Foundations (MiSP) to teach .B Foundations for teachers.

She is a category 1 member of VMBN (Vereniging Mindfulness Based Trainers Nederland en Vlaanderen) and holds a BA (Honours) in Psychology, a MA of Communication and a MSc of Vitality and Ageing. She has extensive experience in teaching MBSR courses in groups or to individuals.

Recently as part of her master thesis at Leyden Academy for Vitality and Ageing she developed, taught and researched an online Mindfulness Based Vitality and Ageing (MBVA) course for older persons. She has previously also developed a successful mindfulness course for teenagers.

Before founding Thriving Life she worked as a communication – and PR – specialist in Denmark and Australia – including 10 years as a communications specialist at the Danish Defence. Berit is Danish, married to a Welshman and lives in the Netherlands with two teenage children.

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For More on Berit Lewis

Ageing Upwards: A mindfulness-based framework for the longevity revolution

Thriving Life (Website)

Berit’s Blog and Newsletter

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Podcast Episodes

Honest Aging – Rosanne Leipzig, MD & PhD

Chatter & Your Inner Voice – Ethan Kross

Are You Living Gratefully? – Kristi Nelson

Retirement Planning Includes Getting Good at Getting Older – Rabbi Laura Geller

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Wise Quotes

On Successful Aging

“I really think that that whole term Successful Aging is hugely misleading. So, it’s success criteria for, for what? To avoid ageing? To stay young.? And it also really feeds into this whole story we have in our culture about aging being bad and it’s something we should avoid. Ageing is not about decline. It’s about transition. And so if we want to really use the term Successful Aging, I think the success criteria should be more how to embrace these transitions – according to what each one of us and as individual thinks is important to us. And the four skills that I mentioned in my book, Ageing Upwards,  is to be aware of this ability to change our mindset, to see things in a different perspective and, and to be able to broaden out our awareness so that we can meet all the challenges we see with affection and self-compassion.”

On Mindfulness

“That whole idea about being in the present moment and relaxing is a part of mindfulness. It helps us to practice our ability to pay attention to the present moment, and for some people it also helps them calm down their nervous system. But I think there’s so much more to mindfulness than just being present. The true benefit from mindfulness really lies when we start to see, to gain this awareness as I explained before, so we are not just in the present moment, but we are aware of being in the present moment. It’s like this extra layer of it.”

On Learning to Practice Mindfulness

“Unfortunately, mindfulness is not a quick fix. I wish it was. It takes a lot of time and effort and it can also be unpleasant because we are seeing things that we might not want to see. And instead of running away from discomfort and pain, we’re turning towards it and meeting it with curiosity. So that’s what you have to be prepared for. And what’s funny is a lot of people, whenever I teach mindfulness, they come back to me after maybe three weeks and say, I’m supposed to feel less stressed by doing this stress reduction course, but all of a sudden I have more thoughts. And they don’t really notice the thoughts more, they become much more aware of the busyness that we have in our head. And in the beginning it can actually be a source of even more stress. So that’s also something that you might want to be prepared for when you you go into mindfulness – and it’s the beginning. But then eventually you start to see what it all is and how you can also cope with it. So it’s not easy to learn mindfulness. It does take some time. It’s like learning any new skill really. When you learn to play the violin or play soccer, it takes time and you’ve got to practice it. And finally, another thing that’s also hard is you can’t understand mindfulness with your intellect alone. It’s not something you can just read a book about and understand. It’s really something you have to practice. You have to feel it with your body and your senses and trying to let go of this analytical brain that most of us spent most of our time in.”

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About Retirement Wisdom

Are you clear on what’s next for you?  Don’t put it off. Get started on designing  your future. Schedule a call to discuss how my one-on-one Designing Your New Life in Retirement, Tiny Habits and Mental Fitness coaching programs can help you defeat uncertainty, gain clarity and direction.

About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career. He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

What Will Your “Retirement” Story Be? Wisdom Notes keeps ideas and inspiring stories coming your way once a month as you create your own.

If you’re planning for retirement, are you planning for longevity? And not just from a financial perspective. Be intentional about planning how you’ll live your long life. Don’t settle.  Award-winning product designer Ayse Birsel joins us to share her insights and creative design thinking tools that can help you design your life to be full of love, purpose, well-being, and friendship. Her new book, Design the Long Life You Love: A Step-by-Step Guide to Love, Purpose, Well-Being, and Friendship, is based on her co-design research with older adults. It can help you craft the next phase of life and make the most of your longevity.

Ayse Birsel joins us from New York.

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Ayse (pronounced Eye-Shay) Birsel is one of Fast Company’s Most Creative People 2017. She is the author of Design the Life You Love, A Step-By-Step Guide to Building A Meaningful Future. On the Thinkers50 shortlist for talent, she gives lectures on Design the Organization You Love to corporations. Ayse writes a weekly post on innovation for Inc.com.

Ayse designs award-winning products and systems with Fortune 100 and 500 companies, including Amazon, Colgate-Palmolive, Herman Miller, GE, IKEA, The Scan Foundation, Staples and Toyota.

She is the recipient of numerous awards including Interior Design Best of Year Award in 2018 for Overlay, a new Herman Miller system, multiple IDEA (Industrial Design Excellence Awards) and Best of NeoCon Gold Awards, Young Designers Award from the Brooklyn Museum of Art and the Athena Award for Excellence in Furniture Design from Rhode Island School of Design. Ayse is one of only 100 people worldwide to be named as one of the Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches—a program Goldsmith conceived during Ayse’s Design the Life You Love program—along with the President of the World Bank, the head of the Rockefeller Foundation and the President of Singularity University. She is a TEDx speaker. Her work can be found in the permanent collections of the MoMA, Cooper Hewitt National Design Museum and Philadelphia Museum of Art.

Born in Izmir, Turkey, Ayse came to the US on a Fulbright Scholarship and got her masters degree at Pratt Institute, New York.

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For More on Ayse Birsel

Website

Design the Long Life You Love: A Step-by-Step Guide to Love, Purpose, Well-Being, and Friendship

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Retiring?  You could just wing it… But why not be intentional – and design your new life in retirement?

Join our Small Group Program starting April 12th:  Learn more here

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Mentioned in This Podcast Episode

Learned Optimism – Explanatory Style

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Design Your Life and Get Unstuck – Dave Evans

Are You Ready for The New Long Life? – Andrew Scott

The Joy of Saying No – Natalie Lue

Retire Happy – Dr. Catherine Sanderson

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Wise Quotes

On Design Thinking

“Design thinking is creative problem solving in a nutshell. And what led me to apply it to my life was, many, many years ago, I was part of a group of women CEOs and we were asked to define our life’s mission in one sentence. And I said in the moment – and I don’t know why I said it – I said, my mission in life is to design the life I love. And then eventually that’s what I ended up doing because I developed a design thinking process that I called Deconstruction-Reconstruction. And then the two things came together and I remembered, hold on one second, our life is our biggest project. It’s like a design project full of challenges and criteria –  things that we want and we need, and what if I apply my process to it? And it started as an experiment.”

On The Most Important Factor in Life Design

“Optimism. And that’s what I saw. So we did this year-long research with people who were 65 and older all the way to 90 plus, and we asked them to come and design their life with us. And the one thing across the board that I saw in everybody was optimism. And nobody said to us, even the people who were in their nineties, nobody said, aren’t you a little late? They were all like, Yes, I’m here to design my life. That’s the idea.”

On Designing What to Avoid

“It’s really important to know what to avoid because if we are intentional about those things, we can make time and space for things we love. And that’s why I want to remind people, it’s not just only about things you want to include, it’s also about things you want to get rid of. And so the things that people talk about, three came to mind. One is they say yes to too many things. So they want to learn to say no. And what’s good about that is if you can say no to things, you’re making time for other things, for new things, maybe things that are important to you. So one is to avoid saying yes to everything. The other thing that came from our research was toxic friends, especially older people, were very clear about saying no to toxic friends and saying, I don’t have time for this. So I thought that that was really interesting. And then the third one is living life not being true to yourself. And this comes from some research that was done with people who were dying about their wishes, things that they wish they had done. And Joe, the number one thing is, I wish I had lived a life true to myself and listened less to other people or what other people expect of me. So that, that also comes up in our research. And frankly, designing your life or designing your long life is all about being true to yourself.”

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About Retirement Wisdom

Are you clear on what’s next for you?  Don’t put it off. Get started on designing  your future.

Schedule a call to discuss how my one-on-one Designing Your New Life in Retirement, Tiny Habits and Mental Fitness coaching programs can help you defeat uncertainty, gain clarity and direction.

About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career. He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

Retiring?  You could just wing it…

But why not be intentional – and design your new life in retirement?

Join our Group Program starting April 12th  – Learn more here  –  Early Bird Pricing ends 3/27.

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Spring is here and travel plans are in full swing. Where are you headed in the months ahead? Before you finalize your packing list, our returning guest Francine Toder, recommends a few things that can make your travel experience richer. Listen in for why you’ll want to bring along curiosity, a beginners mind and mindfulness to your next adventure. She discusses her interesting book Inward Traveler: 51 Ways to Explore the World Mindfully, practical tips to make your upcoming travel meaningful – and how to use it to try out new behaviors – and even a new you…

Did you miss Francine’s first visit with us to discuss The Vintage Years? Listen here

Francine Toder joins us again from the San Francisco Bay Area.

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Francine Toder, Ph.D. retired from the faculty at California State University, Sacramento and then recently retired from private practice as a clinical psychologist. Her newest book is: “Inward Traveler: 51 Ways to Explore the World Mindfully,” Whether you travel across an ocean or just across a street, “Inward Traveler” provides ways to sense the world deeply and in the present moment. Prompts in the 51 chapters guide your explorations.

Her previous book, “The Vintage Years: Finding Your Inner Artist (Writer, Musician, Visual Artist) After Sixty,” began to take shape after she thought about retirement and meaningful ways to spend her new-found time, and positive aging in general. She rented a cello, found a teacher and began learning to play this life-size instrument, which she now practices daily – proof that it’s never too late to learn, but more importantly that the fine arts may be the best way to stimulate brain growth and enhance health past sixty, according to recent neuroscience research. The book is not a memoir but based on neuroscience research and interviews with late-blooming artists of all kinds.

Toder is also the author of “When Your Child Is Gone: Learning to Live Again” and “Your Kids Are Grown: Moving On With and Without Them.” Her extensive writing on diverse topics has appeared in magazines, professional journals, and edited-book chapters. She resides with her husband in the San Francisco Bay Area where she continues to write and play music on her cello.

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For More on Francine Toder, Ph.D.

Inward Traveler: 51 Ways to Explore the World Mindfully

Website

Guided Autobiography program

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Living for Pleasure – Emily Austin, PhD

Live Life in Crescendo – Cynthia Covey Haller

Happier Hour – Cassie Holmes, PhD

An Artful Life – John P. Weiss

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Wise Quotes

On Your Alter Ego On The Road

“It gives us permission to try on an alter ego or to be a different person. We can try on new behaviors and get away from old, ineffective or detrimental patterns. Repeating the same thoughts and behaviors in the same context always produces the same results, but a journey of any kind can kind of shake up the context and allow you to create new links to new outcomes. Also, nature is therapeutic. It’s soothing and plentiful, even in big cities. Remember, parks are everywhere. In fact, I was in Berlin last October and I was amazed at the green space in that very populated city. So you can always find a place to rejuvenate yourself or try on new behavior…You have nothing to lose when you try on new behaviors with strangers who you’ll never see again. If you know you talk too much, you could try being what I call an involved listener, just being much more of a listener than a talker. If you generally are shy, you can try initiating conversation.”

On Mindful Staycations

“If you can’t travel, then that is an option that’s available to you. And I think sometimes people feel resentful. Either they don’t have the time for travel or the money for travel or their body won’t cooperate because they don’t have the mobility. So the first thing when you plan a staycation or a three day weekend might be to put aside any resentment or disappointment that it can’t be more or can’t be bigger. Make the time to make the time and the place grand. For example, would an overnight camping trip along the river and a trail ride on a horseback satisfy your craving for a longer ranch stay? That’s if you actually have the mobility and you can get away. But locally, would a weekend with long baths and yoga classes on YouTube and healthy meals give you the feeling of a spa? Well, it’s not a spa, but it might. It could feel like one. Or what about a big city day trip with visits to a museum that you haven’t been to before or botanical gardens? By the way, I never saw the Statue of Liberty until I was in my mid-twenties living far away and came back to New York, which is where I’m from. Obviously if you are listening, you can tell that. And my husband, who was a Midwesterner, took me to the Statue of Liberty. Now why? Well, it just was like background noise. And that’s a terrible thing to say, but I think that is the way people deal with their own locale. So, take a bus tour, take a trip to someplace that you haven’t really thought about in your local community and just remember your searches for good substitutes during the covid lockdown. People were really creative of them because everyone was going stir crazy and you had some things that you were able to do. Remember what those are.”

On Being Present While Traveling

“Stay open to your experience. Watch how kids approach anything new with wonder and curiosity. Get close to experiences…Enter the experience fully with all of your senses. Be there in real time. Remember real time is the only time you have.”

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About Retirement Wisdom

Are you clear on what’s next for you?  Don’t put it off. Get started on designing  your future.

Schedule a call to discuss how my one-on-one Designing Your New Life in Retirement, Tiny Habits and Mental Fitness coaching programs can help you defeat uncertainty, gain clarity and direction.

___________________________

About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career. He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

You could just wing it…

But why not be intentional – and design your new life in retirement?

Join our Group Program starting April 12th  – Learn more here  –  Early Bird Pricing ends 3/27.

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Are you a grandparent or is that potentially in your future? According to The Economist, grandparents comprise 20% of the world’s population. And it’s estimated that about half are long distance grandparents who do not live in close proximity to their grandchildren. (And if you’re not a long distance grandparent today, stay tuned – you could be someday). According to a study by AARP, while half of today’s grandparents are long distance grandparents, it’s on the rise. Kerry Byrne, PhD, founder of The Long Distance Grandparent, is on a mission to provide grandparents with the tools to build strong and meaningful relationships with their grandchildren.

Kerry Byrne joins us from Toronto.

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Kerry Byrne, PhD, has studied aging and care for 25 years. She is the Founder of The Long Distance Grandparent, a mission driven business helping grandparents build strong bonds with their grandchildren from a distance.

From universities to businesses and not-for-profits to policy think tanks, Kerry’s approach to any challenge is solution – focused and strengths-based. That’s why she focuses on practical, but meaningful ways to build bonds with your grandchildren.

As a mum to 2, with grandparents living at a distance, she believes children need their grandparents, now more than ever – no matter the distance between.

You can find her on any given day working hard to make sure grandparents and grandchildren from all over the world are connecting in meaningful and fun ways.

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For More on Kerry Byrne, PhD

The Long Distance Grandparent

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Mentioned in This Podcast Episode

The Age of The Grandparent Has Arrived – The Economist

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Podcast Episodes You Make Like

The Mindful Grandparent – Dr. Shirley Showalter

Where Two Worlds Meet – Jerry Witkovsky & Deanna Shoss

All Grown Up – Celia Dodd

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Wise Quotes

On the Age of the Grandparent

“I think people are surprised by a couple of things. One is the sheer number of grandparents that we have. So The Economist just published a great article called The Age of the Grandparent has Arrived, and they had some fancy demographics. Look at how many grandparents we have in worldwide: there are 1.5 billion grandparents. There are over 70 million grandparents in America alone. I think the other stat that is very surprising to people is the age at which someone usually becomes a grandparent, because that’s 50 for women, a touch older for men, but not much more. And the third one I would say is that around by the time someone hits 75, almost 90% of people are a grandparent. So this is a huge burgeoning group, with quite a long period of time to contribute and to be intentional in their grandparenting.”

On Play

“And I think sticking to it is really important and being willing to try new things and be silly and playful. Play really builds trust. That’s how we build relationships with grandchildren of all ages. So whether they are 2 or 22, don’t be afraid to do something that’s just a little bit silly to surprise and delight them in that connection. Send them a funny face selfie. A 22 year old grandchild will think that’s really goofy, and a teenage grandchild might roll their eyes at that, but that’s a connection point and that’s how we connect with people, really all of our relationships are very much based in play.”

On Being a Grand Encouragement Officer

“Grandparents are the GEOs of their family – and this is a Grand Encouragement Officer. We see this in the research that grandchildren who report emotionally close relationships, to their grandparents also report high levels of affectionate communication. The researchers call it affectionate communication. I call it a word hug or being a GEO. So letting your grandchildren know that you love them, you miss them, you are proud of them, that they’re special to you and that you enjoy spending time with them. Those are the key things to remember to always say. And so just having a little chat with yourself on the way to go see your grandchildren and just to remember to tell them that you are proud of your granddaughter because she learned to walk. What a what an extraordinary thing to do and that you’re just so proud of that achievement. But you can imagine that this applies to someone who’s 19 going off to college like Wow, you’re almost through your first year of college! And that was such a big thing to do to move away from home. Grandparents can really be the encouragers. Be the GEOs of the family.”

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About Retirement Wisdom

Are you clear on what’s next for you?  Get started on designing  your future.

Schedule a call to discuss how my one-on-one Designing Your New Life in Retirement, Tiny Habits and Mental Fitness coaching programs can help you defeat uncertainty, gain clarity and direction.

___________________________

About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career. He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

Ready to Design Your New Life in Retirement? Join our Group Program starting in April – Learn more here

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Healthy aging and positive aging are topics you’ll want to learn more about as you’re planning for retirement. Dr. Rosanne Leipzig, author of Honest Aging: An Insider’s Guide to the Second Half of Life, highlights what you need to know – and what you’ll want to do now that you’ll be glad you did later in life.

Dr. Rosanne Leipzig joins us from New York.

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Internationally recognized in the field of geriatrics, Dr. Rosanne Leipzig is a trailblazer in transforming the way we approach aging individually and as a society.  In her 40+ year career, she has treated thousands of patients and trained hundreds of doctors and practitioners in all specialties of medicine.  She is the Gerald and May Ellen Ritter Professor and Vice Chair, Emerita of the Brookdale Department of Geriatrics and Palliative Medicine at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City.  Her new book, Honest Aging: An Insider’s Guide to the Second Half of Life, was published in January, 2023 by The Johns Hopkins University Press.

​Dr. Leipzig’s life-long commitment to older adults began with her grandmother who lived with her family for 8 years after developing cancer, yet decided at age 75 she wanted to be on her own again, so got an apartment where her closest friends lived. She later developed a cancer recurrence and spent several years in a nursing home.  Her ‘Bube’ taught her how, no matter how old you are or where you are living, there are ways to have an engaged and meaningful life.  She also taught her to try to be open and flexible as things change in life.

​During her career as a doctor, she has received numerous awards. She has been repeatedly named as one of the Best Doctors in America (Woodward/White, Inc.), America’s Top Physicians (Consumers Research Council of America), a New York Times SuperDoc, and one of New York Magazine’s Top Doctors for Geriatric Medicine.  She has appeared on The Today Show, CBS Evening News, CBS Sunday Morning, CNN, and AARP Webinars, and has been published in TIME magazine, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Bottom Line Health, AARP The Magazine, Consumer Reports, and American Medical News, among others.

She has published over 100 scientific articles and published two groundbreaking books on geriatrics. For over 20 years, she has been the editor-in-chief of Focus on Healthy Aging, a monthly newsletter. ​Dr. Leipzig has served as in a variety of Advisory capacities including: As a member of the United States Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF), she championed changes in prevention and screening recommendations for older adults, and as a member of the Board of Directors of the American Board of Internal Medicine she advocated for and achieved greater representation of knowledge of care for older adults in physician certification examinations.

Dr. Leipzig’s latest book, Honest Aging: An Insider’s Guide to the Second Half of Life, describes what to expect physically, psychologically, functionally, and emotionally as you age, what you can do to adapt to your new normal. Martha Stewart calls it, “… essential reading for anyone who is growing older, or whose loved ones are growing older – in other words, for all of us!” A nationally recognized thought leader Dr. Leipzig has brought her expertise to dialogues with organizations as varied as the FDA, the American College of Cardiology, and AARP. Additionally, she is widely sought-after speaker for medical symposia and community forums.  Rosanne Leipzig believes that as a society we need a paradigm shift on how we, as individuals, organizations, and society, think about and react to aging, and how we can move from unconscious ageism to a more honest aging. The goal is a more engaged and meaningful life at every stage of life.

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For More on Dr. Rosanne Leipzig

Honest Aging: An Insider’s Guide to the Second Half of Life

Website

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Breaking the Age Code – Dr. Becca Levy

Better Sleep, Better You – Dr. Frank Lipman

Ageism Unmasked – Dr. Tracey Gendron

Successful Aging – Daniel Levitin

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Wise Quotes

On Aging Well

“…immerse yourself in multi-generational communities. You really need to have people in your life of all generations. Find a role model or two of older people who’ve done it the way you would like to do it. And start thinking about, and I think that’s what this podcast is all about, what your old age will be like. And I don’t mean just financially. The other thing I would say is start reconsidering what the term independence means. We think of teenagers, they want to be independent and that means they wanna be away from their parents. They don’t want to have anything to do with anybody. As you get older, I think independence means having the ability to do the things you really want do to, whatever it takes to get there. Stay flexible.  We can get very, very rigid – and that can happen in our twenties. Okay? But as you get older, we never have a lot of control over what happens, but we think we do. As you get older, you have less. And if you’re flexible, you can figure out creative ways to deal with what comes your way and have an a meaningful and engaging life.”

On Cultivating a Positive Mindset

“I think the first thing is to recognize that if we’re lucky, we’re all going to get old. Okay. And so all of this negative press that we have about older people is really being prejudiced about our future selves. We’re going to have to live with that. And there’s a lot of data that shows that if you have a negative image of aging, then you will not do as well in your old age.  You won’t do as well on hearing tests. You won’t do it as well on memory tests. And you certainly won’t let yourself try new things as often. So I think that’s the first thing. I’m sure you’ve talked about ageism and how rampant it is in our society. And I think really opening ourselves up to recognize this is just another stage of life. You went through your childhood, you went through your adolescence, your adulthood. Now you’re an older adult and at some point you’re going to be old or elderly, whatever word you like. But it doesn’t mean you have to stop. And I have had patients who have stopped and it is a horrible thing to see. They could have done so much more for 20 more years and they just called it quits. And I have other patients who say, you know, my life began at 80…So I think it’s really recognizing the self-fulfilling prophecy that’s in there and also standing up and resisting ageism wherever you see it.

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About Retirement Wisdom

Are you clear on what’s next for you?  Get started on designing  your future.

Schedule a call to discuss how my one-on-one Designing Your New Life in Retirement, Tiny Habits and Mental Fitness coaching programs can help you defeat uncertainty, gain clarity and direction.

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About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career. He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Retirement Wisdom Podcast are solely those of the guests and do not reflect the opinion of the host or Retirement Wisdom, LLC. The Retirement Wisdom Podcast primarily covers the non-financial aspects of retirement. From time to time we may invite guests who discuss other aspects of life and retirement planning, solely for educational purposes. Listeners are advised to consult qualified financial and/or medical professionals on those matters.

If you’re listening to this podcast, the question of what’s next is probably on your mind. Here’s a helpful way to think about it. Some see life as a three-act play. Act One is birth through your twenties, Act Two is your 30s until age 60, which is often your most productive period professionally and for many raising a family. And then, there’s a Third Act, which for many people presents a new blank canvas to explore new or long-deferred pursuits and make a difference in the lives of others.

Josh Sapan is the author of The Third Act: Reinventing Your Next Chapter.  The book profiles 63 people who are pursuing meaningful third acts. Some are names you’ll know like Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno and Norman Lear. But most are people like you and I, and they are living inspiring stories that illustrate the wide range of opportunities for people to thrive and contribute in their third acts.

Josh Sapan joins us from New York.

(Three of the people profiled have visited with us on the podcast and you can find the links below).

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Bio

Josh Sapan is the recently retired President and CEO of AMC Networks. During his 36-year leadership of the company, with 26 as CEO, he’s been credited for creating some of the most celebrated and groundbreaking original content in television history, including Mad Men; Breaking Bad,  Better Call Saul; and The Walking Dead, and with building a portfolio of brands that includes AMC, BBC AMERICA IFC, SundanceTV, WE tv, IFC Films among others.

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For More on Josh Sapan

The Third Act: Reinventing Your Next Chapter

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Retired, But Not Done Yet – Dr. Cynthia Barnett

Not Exactly Retired – David Jarmul

From the NBA Hardwood to the Altar – Steve Javie

A Rock Star’s Second Act – Brett Anderson

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Wise Quotes

On Curiosity 

“…the book has people who are well known, like Robert Redford, Alan Alda and Gloria Steinem. It also has many people who no one has never heard of. And there is, I think, something thematically consistent between those who are luminaries and those who are not, and I think that it is a few, a couple different things. One is curiosity. And I think a second thing is the ability somehow to actualize what is often resident in many people, which is a desire or a fantasy to do something. It can be socially impactful or it just can be a fantasy, but they all somehow have the capability to implement that which is in their heads and making it real in the world.”

On Mentoring

“…it was a bit of an experiment. And I just immediately warmed to it because I just thought that it would be a nice thing to do. And also a friend introduced me to an organization in New York called The Fortune Society, which is a remarkable organization that does more than mentoring. It provides a whole range of services to people who’ve been incarcerated, and it helps them adjust in multiple ways. There’s a residential facility and there’s instruction. And so I’ve been also going out to the facility in Queens and doing –  I hesitate to call it mentoring, it’s my attempt at mentoring. But the truth is I hope it’s good for them. It’s definitely good for me. And I really don’t know if I’m helping them enough or perfectly. I am trying. It is spectacular to be around people whose day-to-day is entirely different than mine and whose frame of reference is different. Either a student or someone who’s been in prison for 26 years – and I’m listening to what their challenges are in life, work, the world, and how they see the world. And I don’t want to get coy and say it’s really inspiring, but it is. And you mentioned something earlier when we were speaking about doing doing the exercises, and it does seem to me, at least for me, it’s somewhat hard to get out of one’s frame of reference, and you could call it a bubble. And doing so as a consequence of relating to someone when you’re attempting to help is darn good medicine for the soul.”

On Getting Started

“So if I were offering advice to a friend, and I would only say it to a friend because I don’t have any initials after my name that would suggest I should be listened to, I would say write a few things down, write a plan a bit, and, if you have sufficient means and capability, make it as specific as possible and then act on it. And,  watch the piece of paper or the digital screen and watch yourself not having done it. And then see if you can get motivated to do it and then try it.”

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About Retirement Wisdom®

Ready for Your Third Act?  Get started on designing  your future.

Schedule a call to discuss how my one-on-one Designing Your New Life in Retirement, Tiny Habits and Mental Fitness coaching programs can help you gain clarity and direction.

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About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career. He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

Is it still possible to get in the best shape of your life? Joan MacDonald says yes. Five years ago, at 70, she wasn’t and was dealing with multiple heath challenges. But a dare from her daughter Michelle, a personal trainer, to train with her set her on a path toward fitness. Now 75, Joan is in a dramatically different place – much happier, healthier and more energetic. And she’s an inspiration for others to make the changes they want to make, with over 1.7 million followers on Instagram at @trainwithjoan.

Joan & Michelle MacDonald join us from Tulum, Mexico to discuss their book Flex Your Age.

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My next Design Your New Life in Retirement small group program starts in April:

Learn More

Very Early Bird offers through March 1st

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For More on Joan and Michelle MacDonald

TrainwithJoan

Flex Your Age: Defy Stereotypes and Reclaim Empowerment by Joan MacDonald with Michelle MacDonald

The Wonder Women

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

The Joy Of Movement – Kelly McGonigal

The Joy Choice – Dr. Michelle Segar

Move – The New Science of Body Over Mind – Caroline Williams

How to Get Stronger After 50 – Dave Durell

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Wise Quotes

Michelle MacDonald On Beyond Dieting

“I think the difference, the real big thing, is the community and the athlete mindset. So getting clients off of that diet. They just want to lose weight, they just want to see the scale go down. Well, let’s talk about training, and get excited about that. Let’s get excited about the, how you’re putting meals together. So we teach macros. We’re not giving them this meal plan. We instead encourage them to craft their own meals, but following what protein, carbs and fat they want to aim at to have more balanced blood sugar. And so it’s this really amazing journey. And the the outcome is that the clients are  empowered, they’re educated, there’s a lot of self pride and there’s a lot of great bonding and great community. And so even after they stop the coaching, they continue to stay in touch. They still have their own chat groups. Some of clients have these Slack groups where they’re on Slack together, it’s incredible. And they get together and go on holidays and it’s amazing. I love it.”

On Coaching Her Mother Joan MacDonald

“I used to have a story in my head that I wasn’t patient, but I was so invested in my Mom’s success. Getting her to get healthy again was of such paramount importance. My Mom was a fabulous mother. She spent a lot of time with me when I was young. She really encouraged me and was incredibly supportive. And so I was very invested in in getting my Mom back into fighting shape. The Mom that I remembered, the laughing Mom, the blue-eyed Mom, the beautiful Mom, the energetic Mom. She used to go on these crazy camping trips and hiking trips with me. And to see her struggling to get up the stairs, it was just heartbreaking. So I’m really grateful that I had the chance to coach her. And, she still surprises my husband or I to this day. The other day my clients were doing a splits challenge and my Mom is part of the What’s Ap chat, but she doesn’t say too much. She’s just like a little fly on the wall. And I went downstairs to get her progress photos. And she was kind of giggling and, Oh, Look at this, I did these splits. And I’m, I’m thinking, Oh, she joined the split challenge. My Mom is not naturally flexible, so I really wasn’t expecting much. And then she shows me that video on the phone and my jaw just about dropped the floor.”

Joan MacDonald on Getting Started

“Just keep moving. If you can only go a block, go a block, then just a few more steps the next time. Just keep on adding to it until it feels really comfortable. The longer you go, the better it is. If you can get a companion, that’s great. It’s always nicer to share really. But if you have to go on your own, go on your own. I do, I do a lot of stuff on my own.”

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About Retirement Wisdom

Delaying retirement? Use the extra time wisely to prepare for your next phase. You’ll be glad you did.

Schedule a call to discuss how my one-on-one Designing Your New Life in Retirement, Tiny Habits and Mental Fitness coaching programs can help you gain clarity and direction.

___________________________

About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career. He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

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The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Retirement Wisdom Podcast are solely those of the guests and do not reflect the opinion of the host or Retirement Wisdom, LLC. The Retirement Wisdom Podcast primarily covers the non-financial aspects of retirement. From time to time we may invite guests who discuss other aspects of life and retirement planning, solely for educational purposes. Listeners are advised to consult qualified financial and/or medical professionals on those matters.

Work provides a central sense of purpose for many people. What happens when you leave the arena of full-time work? What will be your new purpose?  Jet Vertz is the author of Purpose Driven Retirement: Generating a Purpose Driven Bucket List. As a retiree, he’s learned that your new purpose isn’t likely to come from one thing, but from three areas of life – self, family and community. He also shares why you should upgrade your bucket list. And remember your business card? Jet believes you need a new calling card for the new version of you in your new life in retirement.

Richard “Jet” Vertz joins us from Rhode Island.

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The next Design Your New Life in Retirement small group program begins April 12th – a Very Early Bird offer ends March 1st.

Learn more

Retire smarter. Don’t procrastinate until you start wondering What Now? Get a head start on your next phase of life.

Jet Vertz is a retired aviation business executive who makes his home in South County, Rhode Island. Prior to his retirement Jet was a Vice President at Pratt & Whitney Aircraft. While working in the aviation business Jet was honored with the Young Engineer’s Award, Manufacturing Engineering Award and a US patent on laser and electro-discharged machining.

Prior to going into the aviation business Jet was commissioned an Ensign in the US Navy via the Officer’s Candidate School at the Newport Naval Station and served in the US Navy during the Vietnam War era as a US Navy Surface Officer.

Jet is married and has two grown children. His hobbies are teaching at the University of Rhode Island Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, volunteering for South County Habitat for Humanity and snowboarding.

Jet holds an MBA from Xavier University of Ohio and a BS in Mechanical Engineering from Mississippi State University.

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For More on Jet Vertz

Purpose Driven Retirement: Generating a Purpose Driven Bucket List

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

Independence Day – Steve Lopez

When Will You Flip the Switch? – Dr. Barbara O’Neill

The Four Phases of Retirement – Dr. Riley Moynes

Writing New Chapters – Anne Montgomery

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Browse all retirement podcast episodes

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Mentioned in This Podcast Episode

Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI)

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Wise Quotes

On Being a Giver or a Taker

“…after playing golf so much and going up and down a mountain and snowboarding,  we became just a taker. We still have a so much more to give. And I think there should be some sort of a purpose in the remainder of your life rather than just being a taker. Because think about it, today most people like myself, when we retire at 65, we still have another 20 or 25 more years to go. That’s almost a quarter of our life. So do we want to be just a taker in the remaining quarter of our life –  or do we want to be more productive and have some purpose? ”

On Upgrading Your Bucket List

“We have another quarter of our lives to be lived. Why not apply all the things we learned during professional career? So that’s the way how I felt about having a purpose driven retirement. People think a bucket list is something that you want to go and do, like travel – sort of a single focus, something you’re just doing for yourself. So I came up with an idea where a bucket list should contain three categories:  Something you want do for yourself, then something that you want to do for your family, and the third thing is something that you want to do for your community, country, or the world.  So that’s somewhat a little bit different than just a bucket list, it’s not just a list of one thing, but a list of things to do in three categories. During my workshop, I ask people to come up with two things to do in each category. So altogether six minimum.

So let me just go over three things that I’m going to do. Number one, for personal, I am a big snowboarder and skier. So I decided that I want to ski and snowboard on five continents – which I did, and I accomplished that in five years. Then on the family side, I decided I will help my children to buy their own house, and I gave them interest free loans so they could buy their own house. And for the community, and for the country, I decided to develop this purpose-driven retirement idea into a workshop in which I can promulgate for those retirees who want to develop a purpose-driven things to do. So I can guide them through, making their purpose-driven retirement in three specific type of things to do. So that’s, that’s my special purpose-driven bucket list.”

On Your New Calling Card

“And I asked them do that by actually generating what I call a personal calling card. It is a way to replace your business card. When I was in business, whenever I met somebody, It was always, Hi, how you doing? Shake their hand and I take out a my business card and hand it over to them to let them know how you can contact me. In many ways, that business card defined who I was then. So I wanted to replace that with a personal calling card defining who you are today.

So I like to share my calling card to define who I am now and have the information where they could contact me.What I have on the left hand side of my calling card is me jumping up on a snowboard because that’s who I am. I love snowboarding, and once somebody looks at this calling card, they know right away, Wait a minute, this is a snowboarder. Is that you? So that somewhat defines who I am. In the upper right hand corner, I have my name,  telephone number and email address, so they could contact me if they want to. Then on the bottom, on the right hand side, I have a quotation which says, Retired Aerospace Engineer whose passion is snowboarding and lives by the motto Just Do It, but Do No Evil and Go Where No Man Has Gone Before. When you look at that business card, it defines who I am. Surprisingly, whether you believe it or not, people love this part. They love designing the card, defining as who they are. And guess what? 99% of people who attend this, they design the card and they actually go to Staples, and you can get a 500 copies of it made up for  $10. Okay? So it’s, it’s very good way to start redefining who you are.”

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About Retirement Wisdom

Delaying retirement? Use the extra time wisely to prepare for your next phase. You’ll be glad you did.

Schedule a call to discuss how my one-on-one Designing Your New Life in Retirement, Tiny Habits and Mental Fitness coaching programs can help you gain clarity and direction.

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About Your Podcast Host

Joe Casey is an executive coach who also helps people design their next life after their primary career. He created his own next chapter after a twenty-six-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking.

He’s the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy.

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