The Rob Arthur Podcast

We’ve all got different worldviews.

The assumptions we make about how things work.

Other people.

Organizations.

Nature.

Spirituality.

We all have our ideas of what roles such factors play in our lives.

These ideas affect how we interact with the world.

What we think.

What we feel.

What we say.

What we do.

Who we trust.

The risks we take.

The opportunities we pursue.

Every aspect of how we live.

Dictated by our worldview.

Often, this can hold us back from living our best life.

When we don’t take the risk.

When we don’t pursue the opportunity.

When we don’t trust, love, or live fully.

Due to a faulty worldview.

One built on fear, cynicism, and disappointment.

Sometimes, for valid reasons.

Often, due to deep wounds or misunderstandings.

Just as you are not without flaw, neither is your worldview.

It may be based on real experiences, desires, and fears.

But also your biases.

Misinterpretations.

Projections.

It's your worldview.

Yours to accept or reject.

To reexamine.

To change.

In what ways might yours be holding you back?

Keeping you from your best life?

What unreasonable assumptions might you be making?

What perspectives might not be serving you?

What can you do about it?

You are worthy of a most excellent life.

That might necessitate adjusting your worldview.

It’s yours to adjust.

You’ve got this.

We don’t always get what we want in life.

We don’t get the job.

We don’t get the wealth.

We don’t get the girl or guy.

There’s something we want that we don’t get.

That we don’t have.

We see others whose circumstances are so much better than our own.

We wish our lives were the same.

Or at least closer to that.

We might even have feelings of envy.

As though we’re subject to an injustice.

That might even be the case, in some instances.

Yet, hoping and wishing and envy don’t solve the problem.

Ruminating over how we wish our life were different.

Stewing over the ways we wish things would change.

These feelings are valid.

Yet, these feelings alone don’t facilitate change.

Only action can do that.

You might feel like you deserve better.

Like your life should be different.

Like you're entitled to more.

And you're worthy of it all.

But there's one way to make it happen.

Make it happen yourself.

You deserve only what you earn.

What you work for.

What you pursue with earnest effort.

Of course, not all of us start from the same place.

Some of us have tougher circumstances than others.

Somebody has it better.

Somebody has it worse.

That’s life.

All any of us can do is what we can with what we have.

That’s all any of us can control.

What we do.

It’s the “doing” that’s important.

It might not be easy.

It might not be quick.

It might not be fair.

It might never yield the results for which you long.

It’s all you can do.

You’ve got this.

Goals are tricky.

Often, we never reach them at all.

We follow the plan.

We put in the work.

We dedicate our time and energy.

Yet, we don’t see the results we want.

Sometimes, we reach the goal, yet the satisfaction is fleeting.

Lasting only seconds, minutes, or days.

Realizing thereafter that we still don’t feel complete.

That there’s still more.

We expected a grand finish line.

A deep fulfillment.

A sense of finality.

But it’s not there.

What if our expectations were off?

What if the fulfillment isn’t in the achievement itself?

What if it’s in all the moments prior?

What if being there isn’t as important as going there?

What if it’s the process of becoming that’s most important?

You might grow.

You might learn.

You might improve.

You'll never arrive.

You'll never get there.

You’ll never be finished.

You'll always be moving backward or forward.

You'll always be a work in progress.

You'll always be becoming.

It’s okay to feel like you’re not where you want to be.

That’s a sign of wanting more for yourself.

Recognizing your potential.

Sure, you may not feel like you’re reaching that potential.

That’s okay.

All you can do is keep working at it.

Keep trying new things.

Keep showing up.

Day in.

Day out.

You’ve got this.

We often seek to assign blame when things don’t go as planned.

When we run into problems.

When life doesn’t pan out how we’d like.

When problems rear their ugly heads.

Blame has its benefit.

We can use it to figure out the root cause of a problem.

To figure out how to prevent it from happening again.

To right past wrongs.

Yet, blame has a downside.

It often solves only a part of the problem.

The work doesn’t stop at finding who or what to blame.

It stops at seeking and implementing solutions.

Blame doesn’t achieve this.

This comes from taking responsibility.

Deciding what to do.

Then doing it.

That’s the hard part.

But it’s oh so necessary.

Blame without responsibility is meaningless.

Blame looks backward.

Asking, "who's at fault?"

"Who do we punish?"

It rarely brings meaningful progress.

Responsibility looks forward.

Asking, "who can help?"

"What can we do?"

Responsibility brings solutions.

Seek responsibility over blame.

Blame may or may not lie with you.

You can always take responsibility.

Even without taking the blame.

To which do you typically default?

Do you point the finger?

Or do you pursue action?

How can you break the pattern of blame?

What responsibility might you be avoiding?

You are worthy of health and happiness.

Worthy of a most excellent life.

Making that happen is your responsibility.

You’ve got this.

We’ve all had to learn new skills.

Tying our shoes.

Riding a bike.

Swimming.

Reading.

Even walking, running, or speaking.

We’ve had to learn.

To practice.

Habits and behaviors that we now consider effortless once required focus and attention.

They were challenging.

But we practiced them.

We put in the reps.

Eventually, we reach some level of mastery.

Yet, what about those habits and behaviors that aren’t so benign?

Saying or thinking things that hurt others or ourselves.

Eating things that undermine our physical health.

Turning to distractions that keep us from our goals.

Such patterns aren’t unlike tying our shoes, riding a bike, or swimming.

The more we repeat a habit, behavior, or thought the more ingrained it becomes.

Like practicing a skill.

We’re always practicing something.

Strengthening something.

We strengthen those patterns that serve us.

We strengthen those that don't.

What are you practicing?

What patterns are you reinforcing?

Are they moving you toward being who you want to be?

Living the life you want to live?

Which patterns would you like to strengthen?

Which would you like to let go?

The first step is awareness.

Pay attention to your actions and thoughts.

How they align with your values.

What steps you might take to close any gap in what you observe.

Then do the work.

Make the change.

It won’t happen overnight.

You will take steps forward and backward.

That’s okay.

Keep showing up.

You’ve got this.

The idea of hustling and grinding has become quite popular.

This is especially true of western cultures, such as the United States.

We pride ourselves on working hard.

Late work hours.

Endless studying.

Crushing workouts.

Always going all in.

Always sacrificing.

Always busy.

Obviously, there’s benefit to hard work.

Not much, if anything, of worth in life comes without effort.

However, we often overlook the cost that comes with hard work.

Time in the gym is time not enjoying our hobbies.

Time at the office is time not with family or friends.

Time studying is time not recharging from life’s other stressors.

Of course, some of us have no problem sinking “more” into a particular effort.

We have our eyes on the prize.

We’re passionate about it.

We’re driven.

Yet, many of us end up out of alignment with our best lives.

Because we feel like we need to.

Like it’s what we “should” do.

So we do go harder, all too well.

Realizing, years or decades later, that we’ve lost sight of what matters most to us.

We’ve overextended ourselves.

We’re out of balance.

Not living according to our truth.

You could study an hour longer.

You could work later into the evening.

You could train one more day this week.

There will always be more you could do.

But doing so comes at a cost.

The expense of other things that fill your cup.

Only you can decide what's right for you.

What do you truly value?

What brings you deep satisfaction?

What kind of life do you want to live?

Are your time and energy allocated accordingly?

It’s up to you what you do with your short time on this rock.

Don’t beat yourself up for not going as hard as you think you “should”.

You owe nothing to anybody but yourself.

You’ve got one life to live.

Make it yours.

You’ve got this.

We aren’t living the life we want to live.

Yet, we do nothing about it.

We daydream about catching a break.

Hope and wish for something to change.

As if something’s magically going to happen.

With no effort on our part.

We’re not seeking new opportunities.

We’re not learning new skills.

We’re not meeting new people.

We’re doing nothing to put ourselves out there.

To create the change we want.

We’re just waiting.

Hoping.

Dreaming.

Sometimes, we know what to do but aren’t doing it.

Other times, we don’t know what to do at all.

The result is the same, though.

We’re not “doing”.

Day by day passes us by.

Those days turn into weeks.

Those weeks into years.

Those years into decades.

Nothing changes.

Because we haven’t changed.

At some point, we have to decide.

We have to make the decision.

The decision to change.

To make it happen.

You don't have to accept your life "as is".

You can learn, grow, and become more.

That won't just miraculously occur.

Nobody's going to do it for you.

You have to make the decision.

Firmly, confidently, finally.

The first step in changing is deciding to change.

Do you want to change?

Are you waiting for it to happen?

Putting off your best life?

Letting day by day pass?

You might not know how to get started.

That’s totally fine.

Just start.

Do something.

Anything.

It might not work out.

That’s totally cool.

Try something else.

Make the decision.

Take the first step.

You’ve got this.

Some of us struggle to practice presence.

We’re always thinking about the past or the future.

We think about how things were.

What could have been.

What was.

We think about how things will be.

What the future might hold.

What will be.

We ruminate over what’s behind us.

We daydream about what’s ahead.

We do so at the expense of what is.

What’s right in front of us.

Our here and now.

The pattern of discontent repeats itself.

We didn’t appreciate the past when it was the present.

We won’t appreciate the future when it’s the present.

We’re always thinking about another time.

Letting the only time we truly have, right now, pass us by.

Wishing.

Waiting.

Doing everything but living.

All you can control is here and now.

What you do with what you have where you are.

Learn from the past, but accept that you can never go back.

Plan for the future, but understand that it may never come.

The present is all you'll ever have.

Take a deep breath.

Look around you.

Explore what you’re thinking and feeling.

What you’re experiencing.

Everything about the moment.

Cherish it, as it is truly fleeting.

Do whatever you can.

Right now.

To live your best life.

To be your best self.

To make this the best moment.

It’s all you’ve got.

Right here.

Right now.

You’ve got this.

Many of us let fear of failure dictate how we live our lives.

We don’t apply for the job.

We don’t ask the guy or girl out.

We don’t start the training routine.

We don’t make the change to our eating habits.

We know it’s going to be hard.

We know it might not work out how we want it to.

We know there’s a chance we don’t succeed.

So we just don’t do it.

We’re so caught up in not failing that we pass on opportunity after opportunity.

So we never grow.

We never learn.

We never step into the life we’re meant to live.

We’re not off base in recognizing the real possibility of failure.

Failure is real.

It happens.

It isn’t fun.

But it’s an inevitability of life.

The only way to never fail is to never try.

To never pursue success.

To never live.

Don't seek to "not fail".

Fail better.

Every day.

Every attempt.

Every time you put yourself out there.

Fail just a bit better than the last time.

You might even end up with some success.

What are you putting off out of fear of failure?

What can you do today to move forward, facing that fear?

What will it take for you to accept that failure is a part of life?

A part of growth?

Of success?

Living your best life?

You will fail.

How you handle it is up to you.

You’ve got this.

There’s an expectation that we should always work hard.

That we should do so with enthusiasm.

Always putting our best foot forward.

Obviously, this expectation has its value.

After all, our efforts often affect others.

Thus, when we put forth our best, we make the world a little bit better.

What about those times when we don’t work hard?

Those times when we find it nearly impossible to find motivation?

When we’re just not up to the task?

Not putting forth our best effort?

This is often called laziness.

It’s looked down upon.

Considered a character flaw.

Yet, we all feel it at times.

We feel it when we want to watch Netflix instead of study.

When we want to wait until Monday to make a change.

When we seek excuse after excuse to not do what we set out to do.

Then we beat ourselves up.

Under the impression that we’re lazy.

What if that impression is incorrect?

You've been seeking distraction.

Putting off getting started.

Finding every excuse possible not to do the work.

Some might say that's lazy.

You, yourself, might even say that's lazy.

What if you're not lazy?

What if the effort you're avoiding just isn't important to you?

The next time you feel lazy, explore the root of that feeling.

Explore why you’re putting off taking action.

The reasons you do and don’t want to do “the thing”.

How those reasons fit into your view of what’s important.

Then make a decision.

Do it or don’t do it.

Only you can make that decision.

You won’t always feel like you make it correctly.

That’s life.

You live.

You learn.

You’ve got this.