*DISCLAIMER: ALL COMMENTS MADE ON THIS PODCAST FALL UNDER PARODY/SATIRE*

On this week's episode of The Ultimatum, our hero sets forth on his journey to be cancelled amongst the masses. His first stop is a quiet subway station of Brooklyn, New York, where he meets an extraordinary character who speaks a lot, but says nothing. His actions, though spoken louder than his words, are just as incompetent. Our hero then ventures forth into foreign affairs as he lists American territories in which he has negotiated to trade to Vladimir Putin in exchange for peeps. By extraditing the peeps, our champion can show the rest of the world that the acceptance of peeps is not tolerated as they are forced into the chair.

On this week's episode of Watch Out for the Big Grrrls, our hero returns from vacation to reveal his engagement. Wielding only a droplet of rain, a singular grape and an egg, Mikey successfully traverses the streets of Brazil and lives to talk about it. Though, on his return flight home, he is stopped endlessly by airport personnel who believe him to have ill intentions. Despite the onslaught of racism, our hero prevails, and is back to destroying his career twice a week.

On this exciting, new episode of Teddy Toots' Tubular Tirade, our hero enlists in the local hospital where he introduces new guidelines for the elderly patients. Then, he descends into a lobotomized frenzy, discussing trans sports and our next supreme court justice, Ketanji Brown Jackson, which our hero copy and pasted into this bio. Though President Biden wanted a black woman, he said, "...a brown one will do." Our hero finishes off his journey by joining a Home Depot training session and learns a lot about how horrible society truly is.

On today's episode, our hero takes you through a series of timelines: past, present, and future. Similar to the famed Charles Dickens story, "Zero Dark Thirty", our hero projects scenarios taking place across the infinite expanse of generations. He explores the past, "diving" into the recent history of sporting events. He traverses the present, experiencing life-threatening injuries as a consequence of oat milk. He also envisions the future, showing you the truth of our reality.

On this week's wild adventure, our hero travels to the depths of his past to retrieve vital memories in attempt to unlock the full story. Chipotle, the seasoning not the diarrhea factory, invades his defenses and inflicts a no-fly zone in his underwear. Our hero then travels to NYC and DC to uncover a grueling mystery of death and decay. Then - wait, what is that? COULD IT BE?! HERO, STEEL YOURSELF! A PREGNANT MAN EMOJI HAS JUST EMERGED FROM THE HORIZON!

On this episode, our hero descends into the depths of public sewage to find light in the darkest places. He extends his empathetic hand to the Ukrainian people, and before his elbow reaches its apex, he comes to a realization. What is this realization you may ask? Has he discovered the secret causality of war? Is there an alternation dimension in which only JoJo Siwa has the key? Find out on this exciting episode of Deal of No Deal.

On today's catastrophe of an episode, our hero describes the barren landscape of his noble bunda after Putin unleashes his nuclear option. Our hero delves into the details of his new hairless life, struggling but accepting the reality of his earth-shattering farts. The absence of suppressive fur prevents any possibility of a sneak retaliation. Without the ability to muzzle his explosive gas, our hero must engage in face to face combat with Tootin' Putin. All across the land, civilians still standing after the fallout must bear witness to the loud expulsion of shells between Florida and Russia, as one man, our hero, stands tall to protect his saloon.

***EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT***
Our hero has acquired a new theme song!

In other news, a beast ravages the city. Nothing too notable, besides the fact that a rampaging hippopotamus, loose from his mother's arms at age 51, is turning the oasis of Palm Beach into a catastrophic event. The most comparable scenario is the Russian war with Ukraine, but even that is lightyears below the levels of atrocity taking place. The baby hippo, though 51 years of age, is crushing Planned Parenthoods all across the state. His target: Miami nightclubs at 3 am on a Tuesday. The hippo released a statement, "It's gonna get... anal." Authorities are telling anyone or anythey who appose the "Don't Say Gay" bill to seek cover or stand in the streets wielding signs and sunscreen. This is Mikey Bo Bikey, Fe Fi Fo Fikey reporting in from the safety of the Gay Times headquarters.

On this week's episode, our hero journeys to Florida to counsel with the one and only Mr. Worldwide. They discuss a variety of issues, including the crumbling education system in America. Mr. 305 expressed his concern for today's children, and made the decision to open a school to aid the impoverished youth in their challenging existence. Our hero warned against it, waging that he was not experienced enough in the field of education in order to take on such a feat. Yet, Mr. Miami could not yield, and thus, a horrible mistake was born.

After a long adventure in the wilds of Zimbabwe, our hero returns to civilization to discover a horrible tragedy unfolding. While he was gone, Victoria's Secret decided to hire Vladimir Putin as the next stepping stone to cultural compliance. First it was math-textbook diversity, then plus-sized models, and now Tootin' Putin. Will this performance of inclusivity end the terrorism in Ukraine, led by a crazed Greta Thunberg and her Russian loyalists? Find out on this week's episode of RuPaul's Drag Race UK.