This is the Scooby-Doo episode that is the most similar to a Bronte novel--minus the swishing skirts and consumption (tuberculosis). But still, lots of running around in a damp, old house. Note: Please do NOT purchase the science fiction novel being promoted by our legal correspondent. 

Marion Migraine (her secure name) is the producer of The Scooby-Doo Justice Project Podcast. She seems to have an opinion about everything we do, mostly bad. Anyway, she thinks the show is confusing to people, so she had us do this mini-episode where we explain how our group works, and what we will be doing for Season 2. 

Our lead investigator Ralph Cramp was invited to give the commencement address at a local middle school. But an advance copy of his speech was somehow obtained by a member of the school board and Ralph was disinvited. However, to show that petty motives and short-sighted bureaucrats will not impede his search for the truth, Mr. Cramp made a recording of his speech, making it freely available for use at any school graduation where the scheduled speaker backs out at the last minute. 

From a scheme to discredit labor unions to a conspiracy to make Americans more accepting of canine astronauts, our expert panel rips back the curtain to expose the real reason CBS released this so-called kids' cartoon in 1969. Be sure to listen with an open mind and closed (and locked) doors, because once you know the truth, they will probably be coming for you as well.

How do we know that Buck Masters could NOT have been guilty of dognapping? Because we conclusively prove that the man revealed to be wearing the native mask was SOMEONE ELSE. Also, if you think you can point  a movie projector at the sky and get a realistic depiction of an Indian brave galloping by on horseback, you're dumber than we thought. (We don't mean everybody. Just the people who think that.)

As we try to determine if Buck Masters (the supposed villain of this Scooby-Doo episode) could have dognapped his own dog, we take an in-depth look at the family background of Norville Rogers (often referred to as "Shaggy"), and find startling links to Beowulf, Bambi, and the German version of Disney's "The Shaggy Dog."  

Don't LISTEN to this episode as background chatter. Tell your family to BE QUIET for 20 minutes. Or even better, get them pencil and paper and have everybody take notes.

In this second part of our bombshell analysis of "Mine Your Own Business" (episode 4 of "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?"), we dig deep into the background of Hank. For starters, the name is short for Henry. And that leads us through a comparison of this villain and the multiple characters named Henry in three of Shakespeare's historical plays. There are also striking parallels between this narrative and Fritz Lang's "Metropolis." SO STOP READING THIS DESCRIPTION AND START LISTENING TO THIS EPISODE.

After concluding our investigation of the Miner Forty-Niner and his involvement in the alleged events under Gold City, we were reluctant to release the results. Some of our investigators told me, "Ralph, you CAN'T." But I responded "Yes, I CAN. And I WILL." 

Listen at your own peril. Once you know this shocking secret, you can't UNknow it.

Also, we profile gang member Velma Dinkley and do an in-depth analysis of her favorite expression: jinkies.

"Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?" was very much a product of its time. In an earlier episode we demonstrated why gang leader "Fred Jones" most likely assumed that name to get out of going to Vietnam. Now in our analysis of "A Clue For Scooby-Doo," we prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the so-called teen sleuths find themselves entangled in a Cold War game of submarine cat-and-mouse. 

You CANNOT listen to this episode and come away thinking Captain Cutler was guilty of anything.

A great Dane encounters ghosts, talks to skulls, and generally acts crazy. There are so many parallels between "Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?" and "Hamlet" that we think one is just a copy of the other.  (Most scholars say that Shakespeare's probably came first.) Also, in a surprise no one saw coming, the host reveals that his real name is not "Ralph Cramp."