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Sexual Intelligence: More science stuff (6)

Enough now - of this science stuff! Ok then, this is the last one - for now.

Delayed childbearing and fewer pregnancies raise the risk of developing breast cancer in women. We are seeing 100% increase in the rates of breast cancer right now. Much more than in the past. Why?

A female who has her first child by age 20, has half the chance of developing breast cancer, as opposed to a woman who has her first child at around age 30. At the end of 2020, breast cancer became the number one cancer diagnosis - overtaking lung cancer.  Only 1% of those who contract breast cancer are males. 

Women with 10 or more lifetime sexual partners have a 91% higher risk of developing breast cancer. (Males also have a higher risk of contracting cancer if they have multiple sexual partners, but their higher risk is only half that of the women's figure of 91%). Research suggests that 78% of woman regret hook-ups. They are more depressed afterwards; have lower self-esteem and higher general distress. Many wanted to end the relationship. 

Hormonal birth control can make a woman attracted to a genetically unsuited man. Then coming off the hormonal birth control may affect her attraction towards that hook-up partner. She sees him through a different lens; more of a friend or close relative!

Very credible research has shown that hormonal birth controls have a 100% increased likelihood of increasing depression levels in females; particularly those aged 15 to 19. (The sample size was over 1 million Danish woman who had been followed up for over 15 years). That is a very big and very credible study.  Bring all those influences together -  increased depression, raised blood clots and cancer risks, hormonal birth control adversely impacting females sex drive - we see a problem out there at work and not even recognised.(All credit to Joe Malone PhD, CFE, LWMC, CPT, The Sexual Integrity Scientist, https://www.drjoemalone.com/, Author: Battles of the Sexes, Founder: Sex IQ, https://www.sexiq.org/)

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Ad

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Sexual Intelligence: More science stuff (5)

Let's focus on women - in this Episode:
 
What females need to know about themselves: Early sexual arousal rate will influence later addiction to porn. Females are more vulnerable to succumbing to sex addiction where they experienced frequent sexual arousal at an early age.

Alcohol consumption raises both sexes testosterone levels up to a point; but testosterone levels increase much more in females, with alcohol consumption. Females can then do out of character behaviours and become a very different person when they have consumed alcohol.

If females are not on birth control or near their ovulatory window (eg day 8 to day 14) and they have consumed alcohol, they could have the same testosterone level as a male. Even if she is not consuming alcohol during that ovulating window, she will still have a much higher sex drive than other females, during that ovulatory window. 

So, be aware of the impact of consuming alcohol during that period! Behaviour (sexually) may be very different. That may include dressing more provocatively or more flirtatious; yet, at the same time, be less self-aware. Females are much more vulnerable. Not a great combination!

Female anatomy makes them more vulnerable to STIs. The vagina has a thinner layer of skin; is moister and warmer for harbouring bacterial growth and yeast infection. STIs are often asymptomatic. 

Females may then experience such conditions as pelvic inflammatory disease or endometriosis; which can eventually lead to infertility. 
On average, females have eight times higher HIV risk and four times higher Gonorrhoea risk. That risk significantly increases with anal sex. HIV risk goes up 17 times with anal sex.
 
If they begin their menstruation early, it increases their risk of uterine cancer. Early promiscuity leads to increased risk of vaginal and cervical cancer. Non-breast feeding increases the risk of developing ovarian and uterine cancer.
Therefore, we observe that sexual activity in younger years, affects sexual health. (All credit to Joe Malone PhD, CFE, LWMC, CPT, The Sexual Integrity Scientist, https://www.drjoemalone.com/, Author: Battles of the Sexes, Founder: Sex IQ, https://www.sexiq.org/)

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

Support Our Show
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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Hypersexualiza

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Sexual Intelligence: More science stuff (4)

Got to admit, this science stuff is interesting - if it is true!

There are three areas in the male brain that is over twice the size of the female brain:
1) The area that contributes to men having a roving eye and scanning the terrain for females; 2) A part of the hypothalamus (which is the seat of human sexuality); 3) The amygdala (which is the brain’s command and control area). All three react to testosterone - which is much higher in males than in females. There is a process which binds all these sex hormones together. Woman have 13 times more of that bonding hormone than men. That creates a high mismatch concerning sex drive processes between males and females. 

Males tend to over perceive a woman's sexual interest, when in fact she is just being nice. Males are more likely to interpret such signals/activities as sexual interest. Females tend to under perceive men's sexual interest. When males become aroused, they change (in an ethical way) as to (negative) things they would not usually do. When aroused, they do things that normally they would not do when unaroused. Males can be a wholly different person aroused to when unaroused.

The neurochemicals in a male's semen affects a woman psychologically, in a positive way. The endorphins, serotonin, prolactin and FSH are beneficial for bonding if the female is in a relationship where she wants to bond for long term partnership/marriage and maybe a later pregnancy. The problem is that this process is still at work in relationships that are transient - even when bonding is not a desire!(All credit to Joe Malone PhD, CFE, LWMC, CPT, The Sexual Integrity Scientist, https://www.drjoemalone.com/, Author: Battles of the Sexes, Founder: Sex IQ, https://www.sexiq.org/)

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

Support Our Show
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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing

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Sexual Intelligence: More science stuff (3)

A lot of compact info in this episode. I think my post bag is going to be very full this week with comments about.......!

Remember, don't shoot the messenger.

Men see promiscuity in a female as a deal breaker when seeking a life-long partner. If a man sees a woman as hard to get for sex, he will instinctively feel that she will more likely be faithful in the long term for partnership/marriage. For males, sexual loyalty and sexual integrity is the most praised and sought after asset and quality in a woman when considering a long term partnership/marriage. 

This may seem  - not very “modern” - but when females are seeking a partner for potential life-long partnership, with whom to have children, she seeks out someone who is likely to be reliable; to be there when she is pregnant – during a vulnerable time in her life whilst carrying the baby; to ensure survival when her body is taking the toll of the pregnancy. (That cave man/ cave woman instinct can't be entirely re-shaped because of a 21st century preferred way of doing life).

Paternity certainty is vitally important to a male! A man wants to know that the baby she is carrying belongs to him. (Ultimately, only the woman will carry that knowledge). Men value women who can be trusted in that regards.

Therefore, early on in the relationship, men separate women into two categories:
1) Easy to get – sexually; or 2) Not easy.

The “Not easy” choices become possible long term partner potentials. The “easy sexually” are for hookup and not long term partner potentials.

A woman needs dopamine and oxytocin for bonding. It is interesting that after intercourse, a woman's evaluation of the man tends to go up. So, females will more frequently be bonding during the hook-up, but quite the contrary for males. In males, within 10 seconds of orgasm/ejaculation, his evaluation of her may be going down. There is a conflict between males and females during that hook-up situation. It is not a level playing field. Women's bonding is going up and men's bonding is going down. (All credit to Joe Malone PhD, CFE, LWMC, CPT, The Sexual Integrity Scientist, https://www.drjoemalone.com/, Author: Battles of the Sexes, Founder: Sex IQ, https://www.sexiq.org/)

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

Support Our Show
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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Caus

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Sexual Intelligence: More science stuff (2)

In all your getting, get understanding. What you can better understand, you have then moved it from the unconscious into the conscious. From the unseen, into the seen. Now you get a chance to go after it and effect change. It can never be the same again, because you know what you are doing! Get it?

Remember, don't shoot the messenger.

Sitting comfortably? Braced? Here we go then:

Research in 2006 show that the younger the age that a females experiences arousal, the greater will be the number of casual sex partners she will have. She will have a higher promiscuity rate and an increased openness to more and all sexual things. Therefore, she is more likely to become caught up in porn addiction at a younger age than if the younger age exposure had not happened.

They will more likely go against their sexual nature more frequently. She increasingly goes against her natural sexual nature, because of the early arousal experience. Hence the reason why in the future there is likely to be an increase in the number of females addicted to pornography, than in the past or currently.

Men need Vasopressin (which is a bonding chemical) before sex. It is what causes the bonding with a female. Therefore, sex without courtship, limits the production of Vasopressin and therefore reduces bonding for males. (All credit to
Joe Malone PhD, CFE, LWMC, CPT, The Sexual Integrity Scientist, https://www.drjoemalone.com/, Author: Battles of the Sexes, Founder: Sex IQ, https://www.sexiq.org/)

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

Support Our Show
 Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Indu

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Sexual Intelligence: Know the science stuff

Oh - yuk! Must we?

Well - not preaching to you, but knowing the science done by some very clever people, will help you. Remember what this thing called Therapy is about - certainly Therapy from The Kairos Centre; all about moving as much from the unconscious, into the conscious - then you get a chance to go after what you can now better see and understand - in order to effect change. Get it!

Here it go; and don't shoot the messenger please:

At puberty, males Androgen levels (such as Testosterone) explode. Particularly between aged 13 To 15. It is 10 to 30 times more. Females Androgen levels only double. So, after puberty it is more difficult to reason with a male than with a female. In otherwards it is better to try reasoning with the female than the male, as the female is likely to be more receptive because of her reduced levels of Androgens - such as Testosterone. Testosterone is a sex seeking hormone. Age 17 is the period of maximum testosterone. Therefore, around that age six times the number of males become addicted to porn than young females........(All credit to
Joe Malone PhD, CFE, LWMC, CPT, The Sexual Integrity Scientist, https://www.drjoemalone.com/, Author: Battles of the Sexes, Founder: Sex IQ, https://www.sexiq.org/)

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

Support Our Show
 Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Childhood Development | Parental I

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You need to keep your guards up. The stuff (which is now in your past), will keep trying to trip you up. You need to apply effort in order to maintain the hard earned and carved out gains; but gains there are; very tangible; very real.

You did it. Not a programme. You did it. I could lead the horse to water, but as a facilitator, I could not make it drink. (By the way, I wasn't calling you a horse)! When you drink; when you drank; you made incremental steps toward your best life, without sex, porn, love addiction.

Let's celebrate together. I am your greatest cheerleader.

No photos please, of me wearing my ra ra skirt running around the field cheering you on. That photo won't look good on Facebook. Save my blushes - please.

Have these podcasts been helpful to you or not? I have only ever had one feedback. (Let me look into the systems to get your regulate feedback), but for now, are you willing to take time out of your active day to send me a message with a thumbs up or down? Maybe say something else about the usefulness. Text, WhatsApp, email or other; you choose, but do say something to me if I am to go on to a next new Series. Contact details in our Linktree at the bottom of description!

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

Support Our Show
 Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment |

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One such tool - is your Support Structure of people that you can call upon when triggered and the going is tough on a particular day - to get you through that day. Who is in your Inner circle of three close support contacts?

Don't go it alone. Don't be an island; "Shame" loves that and rubs its hands with glee - "Got ya".

Talk to the three. Tell them your needs. Get agreement to be there for you day and (night!). You will reciprocate in the future. Test the friendship and use it.

Then set about carving out one or two others from your Middle circle (who know nothing about the addiction) that you are lining up to replenish the Inner circle of three;  in case one of the three can no longer fulfil that role. Fish and hunt for Middle circle friends from your existing social haunts, like the gym buddies, sports buddies, hobbies, clubs, church etc - places that you frequent on a weekly basis.

Be "purposeful & intentional" as you invest over time, to develop closer relationships with one or two middle circle acquaintances that eventually can be moved into the Inner circle. Got it?

The same then applies to the Outer circle infrequent acquaintances that you get ready to move into the Middle circle over time. Remember, no quick fixes; but it moves you out of the unhealthy associates that pull you back into the addiction. This is longer term work.

Want some help?

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

Support Our Show
 Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Childhood Development | Relapse Prevention |

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When all else fails; when all the tools have not helped; when you're triggered and battling the near eleventh hour; when you are about to act out.

You know it; it seems inevitable; deja vu. You have been hear before; oh so many, many times. So annoying; so frustrating.

You know the morning after the night before, is coming; you know the self recrimination will follow; the guilt; the regret; the increased shame; the self loathing; the remorse is an understatement.

Yet, you are on a trajectory (with seemingly) no hope of pulling back. Learn to R.U.N.

Want to know more about R.U.N? Let The Kairos Centre come alongside your journey and help you to better understand and see Cognitive Distortions and their insidious role as a part of the Preparation stage, keeping the Cycle of Sex Addiction in tact..

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

Support Our Show
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Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Coping Mechanisms | Emotional Regulation Techniques | Resilience Building | Social Support | Cognitive Behavioral Therapy | Mindfulness Practices | Self-Compassion | Managing Outbursts | Anger Management | Emotional Regulation | Coping with Intense Emotions | Controlling Anger | Outburst Prevention | Self-Control Techniques | Stress Management | Calming Strategies | Emotional Awareness | Identifying Triggers | Understanding Anger Cycles | Cognitive Restructuring | Relaxation Techniques | Assertiveness Training | Healthy Communication Skills | Conflict Resolution | Self-Reflection |

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On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Know you, know self, know your brain. It is not always your bestest bestest bff. It often is working against what is good for you, at the behest of what it perceives as being right for you - in the moment. But not all your senses have been consulted beforehand.

It does not always tell you the whole truth and nothing but the whole truth. In fact, it can very brazenly sabotage what is good for you, in its assessment of what it believes it is doing to protect you from discomfort. 

It is "Preparation" to act out activities - coming out of your "Cognitive Distortions; your thinking distortions; your misguided thinking; your ulterior motivation thinking.

Remember that CYCLE OF SEX ADDICTION - viewed on a clock face - going clockwise -  as stages you go through, from: 

•ACTING OUT; to

•REGRET; to

•RECONSTITUTION; to

•DORMANT; to

•TRIGGER; to

•PREPARATION; back to ACTING OUT

Call it out. Name it. Shame it. Expose it. It isn't true. It isn't truth. It isn't the best for you.

Cognitive Distortions will keep on keeping on showing themselves. What are yours?

If you don't know what they are; if you don't spot them; can't spot them; don't change them - you are 10 minutes from acting out; from them biting you in the bum again and again and again and again and again and again and again.......

Get it?

Presented by The Kairos Centre - Bringing colour back to life - without shame. Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; where you discover the real, authentic you. Please visit our website to learn more about this course and our services at www.kairos-centre.com or email [email protected]

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs) is a Relate trained and experienced Relationship counsellor, Mediator and undertakes Sex Therapy & Sex Addiction treatment. He is also a member of the National Counselling Society, the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity (ATSAC), stopSO, and an Accredited member of the Assoc of Christian Counsellors. He also practices EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) as an Accredited EMDR Practitioner, working with clients globally via secure webcam.

Support Our Show
 Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | 

Support the show