The Sexual Alchemy Podcast

Today, I'm delighted to welcome the amazing Jan Day to the show. She is a Relationship and Intimacy Coach, Founder of Jan Day Workshops & Coaching and Author of "Living Tantra: A Journey into Sex, Spirit and Relationship."

We had a delicious conversation about Jan's work, her definition of Tantra and what it means to her to live in Tantra. We also explore why most people check out when they start getting comfortable with their sexual energy, the richness of workshops, the Victoria Sponge model and the pros and cons of individual and group work.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- Jan's definition of Tantra and why her approach to Tantric sex impacts every other aspect of her students' lives

- Why it is so hard to find extraordinary in the ordinary, and what value we can get from achieving that

- The benefits of being fully present during sexual and erotic relations

- How Victoria Sponge model can help us understand better our sexuality and ourselves

Jan Day has over 20 years of experience teaching and leading workshops all over Europe and Hawaii. Her unique approach, compassionate and warm, create learning environments where students feel free to talk about sex, communicate their preferences effectively and build long-lasting relationships.

Resources:

Jan Day website: www.janday.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/livingtantrabook2021/

Buy Jan's book, 'Living Tantra' here: https://tinyurl.com/mt2zsbxr

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

In this episode, we talk about shame. We will explore how crippling shame can be in men's sexual lives, how it affects their journey of discovering and connecting with their sensual, sexual selves, and how it can impact other aspects of their lives. I'll share some personal experiences that will help clarify how shame works, and give some advice on dealing with and freeing ourselves from it.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- Shame is something we learn in our childhood - we are not born with it

- Why doing or liking to do certain things makes us feel ashamed

- What it means that shame is stored in our bodies, and the different ways it shows up

- Why playing power games is not possible when shame is present

- What we can do to check our shame and avoid being affected by it

Shame is a powerful limiting force. It can literally shut us down if we don't deal with it. Shame is one of the main obstacles to reclaiming your sensual self, embodying your sexual desires and becoming the competent, sensual and sexual man you are meant to be.

Resources:

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

I'm delighted to welcome Dr. Betty Martin to the show. She is a Chiropractor, a Body Electric School trained Sacred Intimate, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Foundations of Facilitation trainer, and a self-propelled erotic adventurer and Intimacy Coach.

She is the author of "The Art of Receiving and Giving - The Wheel of Consent" and a massive inspiration for my own work. We had a fantastic conversation about consent. Betty masterfully explained her definition of consent and what it means to give and receive in a consensual sexual relationship. We also talk about BDSM, boundaries, pleasure and shame.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- What kind of work Dr. Betty Martin goes through with her peers

- What the three-minute game is and how it inspired the creation of the Wheel of Consent

- Dr. Betty's definition of consent and why she believes there's a confusion about what giving and receiving really mean

- What the Wheel of Consent is, how it works, and how we can use its language to redefine consent

In her mid-40s, Dr. Betty Martin experienced an erotic awakening. She discovered there was a lot more about Eros than what she knew. After some years of intensive exploration and research, she decided to share her knowledge. She focused on teaching people how to be comfortable in their own skin, how to ask for and give what they want, and above all, express what they don't want to give or receive.

Resources:

- Dr. Betty Martin website: https://bettymartin.org/

- Betty's book, The Art of Receiving and Giving

- IG: @thewheelofconsent

- Book: Dr. Betty Martin - The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent www.wheelofconsentbook.com

- School of Consent www.schoolofconsent.com

- Betty's YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/BettyMartin/videos

- Free Diagram of The Wheel of Consent http://bettymartin.org/download-wheel/

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

I'm thrilled to welcome Martin Jenner to the show. A few years ago, Martin and I did some work together that impacted his life massively. Martin kindly shares his story, his life before our work, his transformation from logic to love, and how it all started with a hug.

Together, we revisit his entire journey, from feeling he wasn't a lovable man to today's version of himself - a happy bunny. We also talk about the importance of clear boundaries when we are in the process of discovering ourselves as sexual beings and how crucial it is to listen to our gut.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- How Martin's life was like before our work together

- The importance of human touch, and how sometimes a hug is all we need to change our vision of the world

- The biggest lie about himself that Martin called out to start his transformational journey

- Why sometimes the seemingly not logical thing is the most logical thing to do

- Why ego death is as transformational as scary and how it changed Martin's life

It took Martin several years to realize, but it wasn't until he learned to love himself that he opened to the idea of being loved. With conscious work and several judgment-free sessions, he transformed the way he saw himself, became a new man, and found someone to have an open, honest, and meaningful relationship with.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

I'm thrilled to bring the unique Mollena Lee Williams-Haas to the show. She is a New York City-born writer, actress, performer, BDSM educator, storyteller, podcast host and award-winning executive pervert. She has written and co-authored many books, including "Playing Well With Others" and "The Toybag to Guide to Play with Taboo."

In this extra-long, expensive lashes-type episode, we had a priceless conversation about the freedom to express ourselves, to live the life we feel is better for us and to give ourselves permission to be who we really are. We talk about Mollena's bravery to talk openly about her sexual life, the demons she fought while recovering from alcoholism, and how that openness to discuss those topics opened so many doors to her and lots of other people.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- Who Mollena is, the operas she has written and performed, and what we can expect from her next one called "Hyena"

- What we can learn from the evil Kirk/bad Kirk analogy that inspired Mollena

- How Mollena overcame her addiction, what she learned and continues to learn daily from that experience

- Mollena's way of dealing with criticism and how her fuckrupcy helps her deal with haters

- How TikTok's democratization of entertainment is actually good to spread information and educate people

After seeing a Broadway show live, Mollena decided she wanted to be an actress. A few years later, she performed in the movie "The Wiz." After moving to Los Angeles in 1992, she co-starred in the independent cult-classic "America's Deadliest Home Video," considered the grandfather of "found footage," a genre that will shine with "Man Bites Dog" and "The Blair Witch Project." Mollena began her explorations of BDSM by subscribing to the newsletter published by the Society of Janus and exploring kink and fetish via the newly burgeoning world of online chat forums. In 2016 a piece about her BDSM relationship with her husband Georg Friedrich Haas was published in the New York Times, and today, she is an inductee of the Society of Janus Hall of Fame.

Resources:

- Mollena's podcast, All That & Mo: https://allthatandmo.com/

- Mollena and Georg's film, The Artist and The Pervert: shorturl.at/jnLVZ

- Playing Well with Others by Mollena Lee Williams-Haas shorturl.at/epBZ5

- The Toybag Guide to Playing with Taboo by Mollena Lee Williams-Haas shorturl.at/rxGVX

- Find Mollena on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MollenaWilliams/

- Find Mollena on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mollena_lee_williams_haas/

- Find Mollena on Twitter https://twitter.com/Mollena

- Find Mollena on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/Mollena

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

In this episode, we will talk about the sex-positive movement. There is certain confusion around what it means to be sex-positive in terms of our sexual life and the emotional and sexual bond with our partners, so I wanted to clarify it a bit. We'll look at not wanting sex from a sex-positive perspective, how to sensitively but assertively decline sex propositions, and why we should never pressure ourselves or others to have sex.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- What it really means being sex-positive versus what most people think it means

- The proper way to tell your partner you are not in the mood for sex

- Why it is crucial we ask our partners what they are looking for when they ask for sex

- Why pressuring for sex is never a good idea

A sex-positive person is not someone who is horny all the time. Being sex-positive is about honoring your body, feelings and desire. It is about seeking respectful and delicious, clearing and shame-releasing connections with others through sex.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

The way men name their genitals tells a lot about them and their relationship with their bodies, sexuality and genitalia. Today, we'll talk about how men name their penis and why. We'll go through a list of names I received from our community about how they call theirs and their partners' penises.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- How to name your penis with words that feel good to you

- Some of the most common words to name male genitalia, and the meaning behind them

- The reasons why some men use childish or formal words, slang, or even pop culture words to refer to their penis

- Why it is essential to pay attention to the words you use to name your penis

The words we use to refer to things are energy creators. They establish how we interact with the things we name. That is why you must create loving, respectful and honoring ways to refer to your penis. Whatever word you choose as the favorite term to call your penis must bring joy, happiness and empowerment.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

Today, we will go through a great topic thanks to a question I received from a listener. This person, who can't touch his penis without feeling discomfort, asked me about alternative ways of engaging with his sexual energy without the physical contact with his genitals. So in this episode, we will learn several ways of connecting with your sexual energy without touching your penis.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- How you can access your sexual energy through breathing

- How to combine moving sexual energy through the body with touching different body areas

- Why is it essential to establish a love relationship with your genitals, and how can positive affirmations help you achieve this

- What prostate orgasms are, and the right way of doing prostate exploration

Engaging with our sexual energy without physical contact is about being present; learning to switch it on, feeling that energy in our bodies, sitting and meditating with it, being grateful for it without expecting anything from it. Just enjoying is arguably one of the most beautiful sensations we can give ourselves.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

I'm thrilled to introduce you to today's guest, the fabulous Julia Hollenbery. She is an international author, speaker, and embodied spirituality teacher, an expert in the power of happiness, joy, and relationships. Julia recently published "The Healing Power of Pleasure: Seven Medicines for Rediscovering the Innate Joy of Being," an influential book she wrote in two different phases of her life - the first part in her 20s and the second after over 25 years of experience working with her clients.

In this episode, we delve into Julia's definition of pleasure, how to activate our sensual potential through it and the essential steps to embody pleasure. We talk about the seven medicines mentioned in Julia's book, the complexity of intimacy and different kinds of pleasure.

What You Will Learn In This Episode;

- Who Julia Hollenbery is and what pleasure means to her

- How slowing down can be used as medicine to enhance intimacy

- Why embodying is another crucial medicine

- Julia's definition of deepening and how it can provide healing

- How we can acknowledge we all are relating to each other

- What kind of healing we can find through pleasure

- What kind of power can heal us

- How Julia discovered potency and how it helped her finish the book and be more present

All her life, Julia has been a sensitive, kinesthetic and sensual person. As a child, she would spend long hours in the garden, immersed in all the sensuality and interrelationship nature had to offer. For her, helping people connect with their sensuality, pleasure and deliciousness felt like a natural path to follow. She uses her unique voice to call us to inhabit our bodies fully, become aware and surrender to the delight of every moment, and connect with the most profound sense of ourselves.

Resources:

- "The Healing Power of Pleasure" by Julia Hollenbery https://universeofdeliciousness.com/my-book-new/

- Universe of Deliciousness website: https://universeofdeliciousness.com/

- Julia Hollenbery LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliahollenbery/

- Julia Hollenbery Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/julia.paulette.hollenbery/

- Julia Hollenbery Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JuliaPauletteHollenbery/

- Julia Hollenbery Twitter: https://twitter.com/JuliaHollenbery

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

As I get asked a lot about what is Sexual Alchemy, what happens in our sessions and what kind of work we do in our programs, I decided to dedicate this episode to what I loosely call The Sexual Alchemy Formula. As we constantly work on the present moment and why men ask for my help, and their varying goals, each session is unique and follows its own path. However, it is possible to describe a loose formula of our program's primary focus, which I'll share with you today.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- The reasons why men seek my help and how Sexual Alchemy can solve those issues

- Why we always start by clearing and releasing from our body and energy what no longer serves us

- Why change is so scary and what we can do to encourage change in ourselves

- What is Conscious Touch and why it must be aligned with our intention

Sexual Alchemy is about removing everything we are not from our bodies and our energy, all the stories others or ourselves have in our heads about who we are supposed to be. By removing all that, we encourage our true self to come up, to shine, to be, and it is our job to love him. Once our true self emerges, the world looks different, life tastes different, it's like going from black and white to technicolor.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/