The Sexual Alchemy Podcast

We get a lot of conditioning in our upbringing about the meaning of touch. Any kind of contact is linked with the desire to have penetrative sex. The same principle applies to kissing, hugging or getting or receiving a massage. In this episode, we explore the roots of this issue, how to deal with it, and how to navigate the need to give or receive touch without giving our partner the wrong idea about our intentions.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

- The different kinds of touch a human needs that are not necessarily linked to sex

- Why we have so much fear, shame and conditioning around touching or wanting to be touched by our partner

- How previous experiences with touch can enhance rejection to touch

- How setting clear boundaries and intentions about touching can make things easier for our partner and us

Human beings are hardwired for touch. It's a primitive and essential need all of us have. Still, the need for human contact doesn't necessarily imply a desire for penetrative sex. If the making-out session or the massage turns your and your partner's arousal on, you can pause for a moment, renegotiate and agree to have full penetrative sex.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

Has it ever happened to you that even though you want to have sex with your partner, you can't quite get in the mood? Perhaps your work is mentally demanding or you are under too much stress and struggle to get there.

In this episode, we address some of the most effective ways to get in the mood. We also dive into how to summon our partner and our sexual energy, and use lovemaking to work through and release emotions.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

- The importance of creating a safe space to move into our erotic nature and arousal

- How to get out of our minds and into our bodies using different tools like meditation, dancing or breath work

- Why it is crucial to build space to transition from work mode to our gorgeous and juicy sensual being

- How to get physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in the mood

- How to discover new ways of summoning sexual energy

Sometimes the arousal is there before feeling physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually ready; we feel safe in the environment and in our bodies, and that's fine. Still, if the arousal is not there after having it all set, we need to summon the sexual energy and the best way to do it is as a team.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

Sometimes the world demands all of our senses to deal with real-life situations, and our arousal or our erotic and sensual bonding with our partner is the one who pays the price. Our sex drive and the need for intimacy can fall on our list of priorities for some time, which is perfectly normal. But after all those distractions were handled, how do we find our way back to regular erotic flow? Today I'll share five ways you can try with your partner to reconnect and go back to intimacy.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

- Why sometimes we neglect our sensual and sexual needs

- The crucial importance of open and transparent communication with our partners

- Discovering the non-porn routes to arousal

- How the "three-minute game" can help us rediscover things about ourselves and our partners

- How we can stimulate our senses to reconnect more deeply with our feelings and gain presence

There are plenty of ways to reconnect with the intimacy with yourself and your partner. Even if you don't have a partner, you can seek a professional's assistance and after discussing what draws you down or lights you up, create something beautiful together.

Resources:

- Sexual Alchemy | Non-Porn Routes to Arousal https://www.sexualalchemy.com/blog/non-porn-routes-to-arousal

- Episode #48 - Chat with Betty Martin, Author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/the-sexual-alchemy-podcast/episode-48

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

Last February, Amy Arrindel invited me to participate in the first-ever "The Spice for Life" online event. Amy Arrindell, also known as the Spice Goddess, is a Certified Clinical Telemental Health Provider and holds several other certifications in mental health, treatment and sex education. She also has over 20 years of experience in counseling, guidance, sex therapy and coaching.

This episode is a recording of Amy's workshop for couples held for Valentine's Day this year, where I was invited to teach a class. We go through three simple yet powerful tips to connect more deeply with your partner, the importance of understanding how to handle your partner and your vulnerability, how to communicate effectively and use your breath as an arousal tool.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

- How to transition from busy life rhythm to intimate and sexual connection with your partner

- The importance of being present and connected with your body

- The immediate effects of focusing on your breath for a couple of minutes

- Using eye gazing to connect more deeply with your partner

- How knowing what you want and like during sex, and learning how to communicate it, can improve your sexual experience

Vulnerability and communication are vital to enjoying your sexuality. Speaking about what you like to give or receive or not makes you and your partners vulnerable. As long as you learn not to take things personally, there is a massive opportunity to grow and evolve as a sexual being and connect more deeply with yourself and your parter.

Resources:

- Connect with Amy Arrindell https://www.graceofnoage.com/

- Grace of No Age YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS4BaEcQLRPT2gv4l04N9FA

- Grace of No Age Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/graceofnoage/

- Grace of No Age Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/graceofnoage

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- How I discovered sex, and the relationship I built with it in my late teens and early adulthood years

- What I've learned about myself and my relationship with sex through my personal relationships with men

- How Tantra completely changed how I see sex and sexual relationships

- When I made the conscious decision to embrace the calling of becoming a Sexual Alchemist

When I first started working with sexuality, it taught me how to be with my own sexual energy. I learned how to connect it with my heart, move it through my body and create magical, mystical orgasms. In a way, my work consists of an expansion of my energy that triggers or moves something in men that helps them with their own sexual and sensual challenges.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

Many men assume that their arousal depends entirely and exclusively on external stimulation; that they need to be touched in specific ways or see things they consider arousing, whether porn or the mere presence of what they consider a beautiful partner. In this episode, we will learn why men who hand over the responsibility for their arousal limit themselves and become beggars of their own sexual experiences.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- Why narrowing down arousal to external stimulus is a limiting approach to your sexual experiences

- How giving away the responsibility for your arousal makes you lose control over yourself and your sexual energy

- Some possibilities to explore with yourself and regain control over your arousal

- The power of connecting deeply with your breath

By assuming total responsibility for your arousal, you're opening a combination of different possibilities to explore and expand your sexual experiences. You'll show up in your erotic encounters with your partner in the juiciest, filled-up, sexiest and most gorgeous version of yourself.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

Today's guest, Roy Graff, brings an invitation to reflect and rethink how we approach our romantic and sexual connections. Roy offers coaching and mentors individuals, couples, and polycules to enjoy conscious relationships, openness, honesty and intimacy. He runs a non-monogamous men's support group in London and moderates several Facebook groups on sex positivity and polyamory. Roy approaches his work from a non-violent communication style based on his Wheel of Consent training and Radical Honesty.

We had a conversation about monogamous and non-monogamous relationships and their different nuances, insecurities, jealousy triggered by trauma responses, and what he calls the "monogamyths." We also touch on social judgment toward open relationships and polyamory, non-monogamous relationships and toxic masculinity, rules and boundaries.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- What polyamory is and the differences between all the non-monogamous relationships

- The role of insecurities in how we establish our romantic and sexual relationships

- How listening to our bodies can help us discover what kind of relationship suits us

- Why we must learn to differentiate autonomy and agency in polyamorous relationships

- The difference between boundaries and rules and how to use them to protect ourselves and our partners

Roy discovered himself polyamorous after 20 years of being unconsciously monogamous by default. Once introduced to consensual non-monogamy, he never looked back, and since then, he has experienced a wide variety of relationship dynamics in the scope of multigamy. Roy is on a mission to create open and conscious communications and empower people to build autonomous, connected, interdependent relationships.

Resources:

- Open Relating: https://openrelating.love/

- Open Relating Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openrelating/

- Men's Pan-Relationships Discussion Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/londonmenspanrelationships/

- Sex Geekdom London: https://www.facebook.com/groups/SexGeekdomLondon

- London Polyamory: https://www.facebook.com/groups/londonpoly

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

I've decided to address a question I get asked a lot: what to do when we have a different level of libido, sexual desire, need or arousal than our partners? Whether you are the one with less or more sex drive, this episode will help you find common ground between you and those connecting with you in the sexual and sensual realm.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- Having a different sex drive than our partners is entirely normal

- Establishing an honest and open communication channel with our partners will make everything move forward with ease

- How expanding our definition of sex will help us find other routes to deal with our sex drive

- How playing with our sexual and sensual energy can help us explore new senses and make us feel filled up

- Why it is crucial to sit with ourselves and get clear about our needs and desires before asking our partners for sexual interaction

It is a common misconception to think that any sexual desire or arousal should be put out. It is almost like the only possible end for sexual needs is an orgasm. Sexual energy does not need to be extinguished to be satisfied. There are many other ways to enjoy it, from moving it through our bodies to expanding it and even using it to heal our bodies.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

A couple of years ago my partner and I came up with the concept of sensual snacks. We'll define what sensual snacks are, how to explore them safely, and most importantly, set clear boundaries and expectations around them. We also explore the possibilities of this sensual connection for couples and single people.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- What sensual snacks are and why they are perfect for reconnecting with our partners and our own sensual selves

- The difference between what sensual snacks and sexy time can offer to us

- Being clear about what we expect to give and receive during a sensual snack is key to its primary purpose

The beauty of sensual snacks is that there is no sexual obligation attached to them. They are a snack, not a whole meal, and their primary purpose is to satisfy a very specific sensual need without necessarily ending in something penetrative or orgasmic.

Resources:

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/

My wonderful guest Robyn Dalzen is an Intimacy Coach, Consent Facilitator, Pleasure Revolutionary and Author. We had a stunning conversation about boundaries and consent, and their infinite nuances. We delve into the concept of domain over our bodies and thoughts, and how it relates to boundaries and consent.

Robyn co-authored the book "The Art of Receiving and Giving" with Betty Martin and also co-founded The School of Consent with her. She is passionate about helping people meet with what gives them joy.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- Robyn's lifetime evolution to get where she is today

- We can't talk or think about boundaries if we don't have a clear idea of what is in our and our partner's domain

- What consent actually is

- The multiple benefits of learning how to let our emotions go through our bodies

- What we can learn from experiencing our own limits

- The benefits of having clear discussions about boundaries and consent

Even in established relationships, we still need to communicate and find common ground regarding what we want to give and receive, from a hug to a simple touch on any part of our bodies. One of the easiest ways to do this is by creating broad agreements that allow enough space to play and experiment with our partners.

Resources:

- Robyn Dalzen website: www.robyndalzen.com

- Robyn on Instagram: www.instagram.com/robyndalzen

- School of Consent website: www.schoolofconsent.org

- Co-author of The Art of Receiving and Giving with Betty Martin: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Art-Receiving-Giving-Wheel-Consent/dp/1643883089?tag=wwwrebeccalow-21

- Book: Brad Blanton - Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth: https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Honesty-Transform-Telling-Truth-ebook/dp/B00CL8BMKQ/

- Check out my FREE Training, Reclaiming Your Intuitive, Confident, and Sensual Self https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-training

- Book: Rebecca Lowrie - The Sexual Alchemy Journal for Men: 6 Weeks to Discovering and Embracing Your Full Sexual Self: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop/p/sexualalchemyjournalformen

- The Sexual Mastery Activation Cards for Men https://www.sexualalchemy.com/shop

- Sign up for bi-weekly(ish) Love Letters straight to your inbox https://self-alchemy.activehosted.com/f/11

- Free resources: https://www.sexualalchemy.com/free-resources/

- My book "101 Meditations for Life, Business and Bedroom Success" https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Life-Business-Bedroom-Success/dp/0993207626/

- My website https://www.sexualalchemy.com/

- Find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/s_xualalchemy/

- Find me on Twitter https://twitter.com/rebeccalowrie/

- Find me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.lowrie1

- Find me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccalowrie/