The Shadow Diaries

This episode is a full breakdown of archetypes, the universal patterns living in the collective unconscious that quietly run our behavior and sense of identity. Guest Jessicka (@thejessickaanne) and Steph go deep on the high functioning damsel archetype, an expression of the victim where action comes from powerlessness and a lack of self-trust, even when it looks like you have it all together.

From there the conversation moves into the shadow side of personal development itself. Why "taking full ownership" can turn into another form of self-abandonment, why the industry's obsession with purity and control makes it harder to sit in the gray areas of real life, and what shifts in your relationships once you stop editing yourself to be palatable.

They also get into why integrating your inner child and your victim archetype, instead of trying to outgrow them, is what actually creates lasting change.

If you're into shadow work, archetypal psychology, nervous system patterns, or just want language for why you keep reacting the way you do, this one's for you.

Timestamps
00:00 Introduction to Archetypes and Energy Reading
03:02 Exploring the High Functioning Damsel Archetype
20:20 The Dark Side of Personal Development and Taking Ownership
24:00 Societal Conditioning and the Desire for Purity
26:13 Discomfort with Gray Areas and Personal Experiences
31:08 Discomfort with Differences
32:37 Impact of Self-Development on Relationships
46:51 Integration of Inner Child and Victim Archetype

Guest: Jessicka, @thejessickaanne

• 50:43 Vulnerability and Authenticity

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We pull apart the stories we inherit about sacrifice and get brutally honest about when it helps us grow and when it becomes a cover for avoidance. We name the identity and nervous system patterns underneath hustle, martyrdom, and “super mum” culture so we can choose trade-offs with more clarity and less resentment. 
• sacrifice as a short season rather than a permanent lifestyle 
• ego boosts and identity pay-offs that keep struggle in place 
• asking for flexibility and support instead of treating life as fixed 
• parenting examples that show how beliefs become rules 
• grief and identity shifts as kids grow and roles change 
• “secondary gain” and the excuses that protect us from change 
• money, stability, fulfilment, and taking a long-term view in business 
• why sacrifice does not guarantee the outcome you want 
• emotional capacity, integration, and when healing work becomes avoidance 
• values alignment as the test for what you keep sacrificing 

If you love this episode, please leave a review, share it to your friends, and also always message us if there's a topic that you would love to for us to talk on.

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Trigger Warning: HG Pregnancy

The moment “just think positive” meets real pain, the whole personal development world gets tested. Today I’m joined by Laura Grady, a manifestation and mindset coach who’s equal parts grounded and honest, and we go straight into the messy truth of what mindset work looks like when your body is in survival mode.

Laura shares her story with fertility struggles and complex health issues including endometriosis and PCOS, plus the emotional whiplash of miscarriage and the pressure people feel to “stay high vibe”. We talk about why the idea that you attract everything can turn into shame fast, and why a healthier approach is controlling the controllables while dropping the self-blame. If you’ve ever wondered where manifestation fits when life feels unfair, this conversation names the limits without throwing the whole concept away.

We also unpack Laura’s second pregnancy, where hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) becomes relentless and is complicated by severe POTS symptoms and serious heart concerns. She walks us through hospital visits, drips, weight loss, medications, and the fear of what might happen next, all while parenting a toddler and relying on family support. It’s raw, practical, and deeply human.

Finally, we bring it back to what actually helps: shadow work, emotional regulation, feeling safe in your body, and changing identity and subconscious patterns rather than chasing a shiny method. If you’re ready for grounded manifestation, mindset coaching insights, and a compassionate reality check, hit play then share the episode, subscribe, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations.

Find Laura:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lauragradyy/

Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@lauramanifestation

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We pull apart the trap of being self-aware and why awareness can keep you looping in the same patterns when your body still chooses safety over change. We get brutally honest about identity work, nervous system protection, and what integration actually looks like when you stop outsourcing responsibility. 
• self-awareness as a middle step rather than a destination 
• patterns as protective strategies built for nervous system safety 
• why “I know I do this, but” is blame-shifting not ownership 
• the Ferris wheel effect of repeating familiar pain 
• intellectualising as emotional avoidance and loop-closing 
• embodiment and staying with sensations to build capacity 
• relational healing and why shadow work moves faster with support 
• the personas that keep you stuck: responsible one, good girl, performer, controller 
• the payoff of shadows, including being right and avoiding abandonment 
• practical ways to turn awareness into integration and behaviour change 


Send this to someone who needs to hear that they're not broken, just human 
Drop us a line about what came up for you. The messier, the better 

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In this episode, Steph and Lurinda share their personal ADHD journeys, and they don’t fit into neat, inspirational narratives.

One experience of medication increased productivity but felt like it muted joy and personality.
The other created rare calm, spaciousness, and the ability to actually choose instead of react.

We talk openly about ADHD in women, masking, late diagnosis, misdiagnosis, and the stigma that still surrounds medication. This isn’t about being pro or anti. It’s about honesty. Medication can be an assist, not an identity. A tool, not a personality trait.

We unpack rejection sensitivity, emotional overwhelm, and what emotional regulation actually looks like when you’re navigating ADHD alongside business, motherhood, and partnership.

You’ll hear us explore:

• ADHD in women and the cost of masking
 • Medication as support, not a label
 • RSD, shame spirals, and nervous system regulation
 • Systems that actually stick: whiteboards, zones, shared calendars
 • Somatic tools for when talk therapy isn’t landing
 • PMDD, menstrual cycles, and planning around capacity
 • Using data without becoming the diagnosis
 • Joy, humour, and sustainable dopamine
 • Bare minimums for food, water, and movement
 • Weekly check-ins to protect relationships instead of burning them down

This is a conversation about self-trust. About experimenting. About letting your life be customised instead of copied.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re broken, too much, too sensitive, too inconsistent, this episode will meet you in that space and gently widen it.

Subscribe for more conversations that stretch you in the best way.
Send this to someone who needs to hear they’re not failing, they’re navigating.
And tell us what came up for you. The honest reflections are our favourite.

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Ever felt deeply grateful for your family and completely overwhelmed by the invisible load at the same time?

In this episode, we come back after a month off the podcast and tell the truth about what was really going on. We talk about default parenting, running flexible businesses, emotional labour, and the quiet resentment that builds when you’re the responsible one holding it all together.

Instead of pretending everything is fine, we unpack what capacity actually looks like in real life. We explore nervous system regulation as something seasonal, not something you master once and wear like a badge. We speak about bare minimum seasons, burnout, and how to keep life moving without abandoning yourself.

We also zoom in on the beliefs shaping your daily reality, especially the story that motherhood is always hard. Rather than forcing positive thinking, we walk through grounded reframes your body can actually trust. This is about creating safety, building evidence, and making small shifts that add up.

Inside this conversation, you’ll hear us name the parts so many women carry:

The Responsible One who needs it perfect.
 The Provider who over-functions to feel worthy.
 The Martyr who gives until nothing is left.

We don’t shame these parts. We understand them. Then we explore how to soften them so you can choose when to step up and when to step back.

We also talk about golden shadows, the strengths we hide like stability, joy, and wins, and why dimming yourself helps no one.

You’ll leave with practical tools you can use immediately:
 – Three priorities that actually get done
 – One good moment to consciously notice each day
 – One request for support each week

If you’ve been carrying everything, this episode will help you set some of it down and decide what truly matters.

If this landed, subscribe, share it with a woman who needs to hear it, and leave a review. Tell us what resonated or what stirred something up. We’re here for the real conversations, not the polished ones.

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Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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What if growth isn’t about fixing yourself, but about finally letting yourself be seen—mess and all? We close out a turbulent year with a grounded reflection on health, impact, authenticity, and the quiet power of permission. Along the way, we unpack how “healthy” moved beyond routines to include grief capacity, relational repair, and self-compassion; how “impact” masked a drive to prove worth; and how our golden shadows, like hard work and resilience, can tip into self-sabotage when we make life harder just to feel deserving.

You’ll hear the story of a “shame share” that turned performance into presence, not to win forgiveness but to stop self-punishing. We explore the difference between being honest and being exposed, why masks can be healthy boundaries, and how reclaiming timing is an act of self-trust. Authenticity, it turns out, isn’t about showing everything; it’s about choosing where truth serves connection and where privacy protects integrity. We also look at the belief that success must be hard, and how ease can be a legitimate outcome of clarity, systems, and aligned effort.

Looking to 2026, our guiding words are intention and alignment. We’re stripping back busywork, automating what drains us, and focusing on work that lights us up, relationships that can hold blunt love, and daily rhythms that honour capacity. Duality is the practice—holding grief and joy without collapsing into extremes, staying present enough to choose instead of perform. If you’re ready to move from proving to permission, from fixing to feeling, and from chaos to a life that actually fits, you’re in good company here.

If this resonated, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs to hear they’re not broken, and leave a review with your word for 2026—we’d love to read it.

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Change gets easier when it stops being punishment and starts being honest. We sit down with business coach Tayla Bubeck to unpack why willpower fails, how shadow work reveals the hidden needs behind our habits, and the values first approach that turns intentions into evidence. From weight loss that lasts to building a business you actually want to run, we move past shame and into a practical, humane framework.

Tayla walks us through a be do have pyramid that begins with values and identity, then adds beliefs and stories, the right skills, and finally behaviours and environment. We talk about shadow desires (the sneaky opposites of your stated values) that keep you loyal to old patterns. You’ll hear how to use compassionate inquiry to find the real need your habit was meeting, then meet that need in a better way. No fluff, no hustle theatre, just clear steps that lower friction and build momentum.

Expect actionable tools: micro habits that are too small to fail, skill stacking to reduce excuses, and a simple process for returning after a slip without spiralling. We also get real about readiness, agency, and the social cost of growth: why some relationships fade when you stop bonding over struggle, and how to set standards without forcing anyone to change. If you’re craving a reset that respects your humanity, this conversation offers a path from self-judgement to self respect.

BONUS RESOURCES:

Tayla's BE DO HAVE Model

Tayla's Shedding System

👆🏻 Use code "SHADOWDIARIES" for a sneaky discount 

Tayla's Instagram

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The lights go up, the invites roll in, and suddenly the quiet aches feel louder. We sit down for an honest, compassionate look at grief during the holidays—how it shows up after death, through estrangement, in separations that split Christmas morning, and in the futures we planned but never lived. No scripts, no tidy stages, just two humans telling the truth about love, loss, and the courage it takes to set boundaries when the world says “be merry.”

We share fresh, raw experiences from the past year: saying goodbye to a 16 year companion, the slow goodbye of a beloved grandparent, and navigating an ectopic pregnancy discovered in crisis. We also talk about a different kind of loss, missing someone who is alive but not safe to welcome back and the guilt that follows hard choices made to protect your family’s mental health. Along the way we explore second‑hand grief, like watching a parent lose a parent or standing beside a partner who honours a child who died, and how to hold empathy without making it yours for them to manage.

If December stirs up what ifs, you’re not alone. We unpack the grief of expectations - fertility hurdles, partners who are done having kids, money pressures that don’t match Instagram and the identity shifts of motherhood, step parenting, and careers that no longer fit. You’ll hear practical ways to make the season gentler: understand your bandwidth, skip triggers, create new rituals, mute comparison, and use language that protects your energy. Most of all, you’ll get permission to feel what you feel, for as long as you need, without explaining yourself.

If this conversation helps, share it with someone who could use a softer Christmas. And if you want more real talk about shadow work, grief, and the messy middle of being human, hit subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what landed, your story might be the one that helps someone breathe again.

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Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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This week we're getting real about why December makes us want to curl up in a ball and disappear - and spoiler alert, it's not actually about having too much to do.

We dive into the uncomfortable truth: most of our holiday overwhelm is self created. Not because you're doing it wrong, but because of unconscious patterns and shadows that have you believing you need to be everyone's Christmas hero while sacrificing your own sanity.

In this raw conversation about holiday overwhelm and shadow work, we explore:

• Why you're still using the "I have a newborn" excuse when your kid is three
• The martyr shadow that has you doing EVERYTHING while resenting everyone
• How to tell the difference between actual overwhelm and manufactured drama
• Why disappointing people at Christmas won't actually kill you (promise)
• The victim pattern that keeps you stuck in "poor me, I have to do everything"
• Breaking the generational trauma of women killing themselves for perfect holidays
• Why your capacity isn't broken - it's just full of old shit
• The real reason you won't ask for help (hint: it's not because no one's available)

We get into the shadows that drive holiday chaos - the people pleaser who can't say no to one more commitment, the controller who won't let anyone else wrap presents "wrong," and the perfectionist who's ruining Christmas trying to make it magical.

This is for every woman who starts dreading December in October. For mums who are already exhausted thinking about school concerts, present shopping, and keeping everyone happy. For anyone who wants to actually enjoy the holidays instead of white knuckling through them.

Real talk about shadow work, breaking patterns, and giving yourself permission to have a Christmas that doesn't require you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of everyone else's expectations.

Warning: May cause you to cancel some shit and actually enjoy December.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.