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In this episode of The Shadow Diaries, shadow work coaches Lurinda sits down with Caitlin—mum, counsellor, and mentor—to explore the quiet kind of relationship misalignment that looks fine from the outside but leaves the body shutting down.

Caitlin shares her story of months of throat tension, sudden weight changes, and constant messages to “be grateful, he’s a good dad.” When she finally said, “I can’t do this anymore,” her body exhaled for the first time in years.

Together we unpack what emotional safety really means: being able to feel, name, and ask without being dismissed. We talk about nervous system cues, over-functioning in relationships, and how repair cycles and counselling can only go so far when there’s a deeper disconnection.

You’ll also hear about the social fallout of choosing yourself, the pain of outgrowing a partner, and a simple body check-in practice to help you reconnect to your truth—without shame, villains, or clichés.

If you’re a woman, mother, or healer navigating relationship burnout or wondering why your body keeps whispering “enough,” this conversation is for you.

Listen now, follow The Shadow Diaries, and share it with a friend who needs to hear she’s not alone.

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Welcome to The Shadow Diaries—a podcast by shadow work coaches Lurinda and Steph, where real women share real stories about healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

After a year as Unhinged and Unfiltered, we’ve evolved into something deeper and more intentional. This new chapter is about demystifying shadow work and bringing compassion to the parts of ourselves we’ve been taught to hide.

Each episode explores the everyday moments that shape transformation—pausing before reacting, recognizing a trigger, or showing yourself kindness when it feels impossible. This is where healing becomes human.

Our approach to shadow work is practical and grounded. It’s not about fixing yourself or digging endlessly into darkness. It’s about understanding how your hidden parts have been protecting you and learning to meet them with curiosity instead of shame.

You don’t need to have lived through big trauma to belong here. Whether you’re a mother, a coach, or a woman simply trying to feel more like herself, The Shadow Diaries meets you exactly where you are.

Subscribe and join our community where personal development isn’t a solo mission. Share this podcast with someone who needs the reminder: you’re not broken—you’re just becoming more whole.

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Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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The dangerous game of constantly pushing through emotions eventually backfires - just like a pressure cooker that can't contain its contents forever. In this raw conversation, Steph and Lurinda explore why our "I'll deal with it later" mentality creates a ticking time bomb of suppressed emotions that inevitably explodes on those around us.

We introduce the powerful concept of "glass and rubber balls" - a practical framework for determining what responsibilities are essential (glass) versus what can temporarily bounce when your capacity is reduced. This approach gives you permission to drop certain tasks without the weight of failure when life becomes overwhelming.

For busy parents especially, finding micro-moments throughout the day can provide crucial emotional release valves. Whether it's a quick body scan at a stoplight or playing your music instead of the kids' during car rides, these small acknowledgments prevent emotional buildup. However, we also discuss how these micro-moments can sometimes become another avoidance tactic when deeper emotional work is needed.

The conversation takes a powerful turn when we examine how our patterns affect our households. When we consistently model pushing through and suppressing emotions, we're teaching our children to do the same. Similarly, when we establish ourselves as the household managers who handle everything, we create unrealistic expectations about others intuitively knowing when and how to step in during our moments of need.

Perhaps most importantly, we challenge the one-size-fits-all approach to rest and slowdown. Your version might look completely different from what's portrayed as ideal on social media - and that's perfectly okay. The key is interrupting your normal pattern with whatever genuinely replenishes you, rather than following someone else's prescription for what rest "should" look like.

If you're caught in the cycle of pushing through, rationalizing your feelings away, or putting everyone else's needs before your own, this episode offers compassionate insight and practical strategies to break free before the inevitable explosion.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

Send a text

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

Send a text

Ever caught yourself creating chaos when everything's going smoothly? Or felt like you need to give, give, give until there's nothing left just to be worthy? You're not alone.

After a year of consistent weekly episodes, we've made the decision to shift to a fortnightly schedule. This choice wasn't made lightly—it emerged from deep reflection on our patterns of overgiving, people-pleasing, and the sometimes uncomfortable feeling of stability.

Both of us have recognized familiar shadows: the belief that our worth comes from constant production, the discomfort that arises when life gets too "secure," and the tendency to burn ourselves out in service to others. As we navigate our successful businesses, family responsibilities, and personal growth, we've realized that sometimes less truly is more.

Through vulnerable conversation, we explore why security can feel terrifying when you've been programmed for chaos, how to recognize when you're creating unnecessary drama, and why slowing down doesn't mean giving less value, it often means giving more. We share our struggles with the question: "What do I contribute if I'm not constantly doing?" and how we're learning that simply being present is often contribution enough.

This episode offers permission to examine where you might be overcomplicating your life out of habit rather than necessity. It's about challenging the hustle culture that keeps us exhausted and disconnected from what truly matters, while honestly acknowledging the discomfort that comes with making changes aligned with our authentic desires instead of our conditioned "shoulds."

Ready to question where you might benefit from doing less but better? Join us on this journey of unlearning and reclaiming our time, energy, and joy. We'd love to hear how this resonates with you—drop into our DMs or leave a review to continue the conversation!

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Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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That moment when you're years into your healing journey and suddenly realize you're still a hot mess? We've all been there, and it's actually a sign you're doing the work right.

In this raw conversation, we dive into the uncomfortable truth about personal development—it's not a linear path to becoming "fixed" but rather a lifelong journey of acknowledging, accepting, and integrating our shadows. We explore how the deeper you go, the more sophisticated your defensive mechanisms become, and how the spiritual ego loves to whisper that you should be "beyond" certain struggles by now.

Using the metaphor of wounds transforming from infected gashes to eventual scars, we discuss why healing doesn't mean erasing your past but changing your relationship with it. Those scars serve a purpose—they're reminders of where you've been and what you've survived. They might occasionally become tender again under specific circumstances, but that doesn't mean you've failed at healing.

We distinguish between mere awareness of patterns (which many mistake for healing) and the deeper work of genuine acceptance. Without acceptance, we remain stuck in cycles of self-sabotage while convincingly explaining why we do what we do. True healing requires sitting in discomfort long enough to build resilience, rather than rushing through processes to avoid feeling.

Perhaps most importantly, we challenge the damaging notion that coaches, parents, or leaders need to have everything figured out. The most unsafe people are those who pretend to have no mess, no shadows, no wounds. Your humanity isn't something to overcome—it's the very thing that makes you relatable, authentic, and safe for others navigating their own messy journeys.

Ready to release the pressure of perfection and embrace the beautiful mess of being human? Listen now, and remember: we're aiming for progress, not perfection.

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Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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When was the last time you questioned what success really looks like? In this raw, vulnerable mid-year check-in, Lurinda reveals how her carefully mapped business plans took an unexpected detour after her daughter's serious car accident thrust her into survival mode for months.

The perfectionist who started 2023 with rigid financial goals found herself humbled by life's chaos, discovering that her true values weren't aligned with the success metrics she'd been chasing. "I needed to have those goals to really see that finances don't equal success," she confesses, describing a pivotal moment at a business event where she realized, "I would rather have no money but still have my values."

This reflection dives deep into the shadow side of perfectionism, the double-edged sword of resilience, and the courage required to completely restructure a business around quality over quantity. As Lurinda approaches her 30th birthday, she's focused on "closing chapters" from her twenties—creating physical spaces that nurture presence, setting stronger boundaries, and unmasking her true self after years of wearing protective facades.

The conversation offers a refreshing counterpoint to hustle culture, showing how sometimes pulling back, refining focus, and prioritising meaningful connections creates more sustainable success than constantly adding more to your plate. For anyone feeling stretched thin between work, family responsibilities, and self-care, Lurinda's journey provides both validation and a roadmap for reclaiming your relationship with yourself.

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Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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What happens when we shine light on the parts of ourselves we've been taught to hide? Shadow work invites us to reconnect with our whole selves, beyond the conditioning that has labeled certain traits as "good" or "bad."

In this milestone 52nd episode (marking our one-year podcast anniversary!), we explore the profound world of shadow work—what it is, how it transforms lives, and what actually happens in a session. Far from the ominous social media portrayal of "doing the dark work," shadow work is simply about meeting parts of yourself that conditioning has forced you to suppress.

When we're young, we learn which traits get rewarded and which get punished. Those punished traits become our "shadows"—aspects we hide away because our nervous system literally registers them as dangerous. The classic example? Being labeled "selfish" as a child for not sharing, which can lead to an adult who can't prioritize their own well-being without crushing guilt. Shadow work helps recalibrate this conditioning, showing that traits like selfishness aren't inherently bad—they're contextual. Being selfish about your health is actually essential!

Through somatic approaches that access the subconscious mind, shadow work helps locate where these feelings live in your body. Unlike affirmations or talk therapy, it addresses the deeper nervous system programming that keeps you stuck. Both of us share our raw personal journeys into shadow work—from spontaneous decision-making to profound grief and loss—revealing how this practice doesn't just change your thinking, it transforms your entire relationship with yourself.

Ready to meet your shadows? We share the various ways to work with us, from one-on-one coaching to retreats and membership communities. Book a no-pressure connection call to explore what path might be right for you—we're guides on this journey, not salespeople pushing you off a cliff!

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The turning point came when Steph's dog died because she was rushing. Then an ectopic pregnancy requiring surgery showed how disconnected she'd become from her own body. These wake-up calls forced a hard look at the hustle mentality she'd embraced for 35 years.

"I don't want to live like this anymore," Steph reveals in this vulnerable mid-year reflection. Halfway through 2025, she's discovering what happens when you create space instead of filling every minute. The transformation hasn't made her life any less full—with three kids, a husband working long hours, and her own business—but her relationship with time and presence has fundamentally shifted.

What's surprising her most? How capable she is of setting boundaries without guilt. How she can say no to clients who don't energize her. How she can show up differently as a mother as her children grow older, asking herself, "Am I giving them the childhood I want to? Am I being the mum that builds them up?" These questions extend to her marriage as she wonders, "Am I still going to be in love with my husband when they leave home?"

The conversation delves into dismantling long-held beliefs about success requiring constant hustle. "I'm really undoing those beliefs that it has to be complicated, it has to be full, it has to be a certain way to get where you want to go," Steph shares. "Sometimes simplifying things is actually what you need to do."

This intimate look at one woman's journey from perpetual motion to intentional presence offers wisdom for anyone feeling overwhelmed by life's demands. As Steph puts it, the obstacle to living your ideal life often comes from within "myself." The limiting beliefs we've carried for decades can be unraveled, but it takes commitment to a new way of being.

Ready to explore your own relationship with hustle and presence? Steph offers one-off sessions combining shadow work and breathwork, a six-month group program, and limited one-on-one coaching packages. Connect with us to learn more about working with Steph and transforming your relationship with time, purpose, and presence.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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The nervous system revolution has swept through wellness spaces, with "regulation" becoming the ultimate goal. But have we swung too far in one direction? In this thought-provoking episode, we pull back the curtain on what happens when regulation becomes avoidance.

Emotional regulation has its place - returning to your window of tolerance is crucial for functioning. But when regulation becomes your only tool, you might be missing the crucial healing that comes from actually processing your emotions. That sock on the floor that sends you into rage? Constantly regulating without processing means you'll be triggered by socks forever.

Your body speaks a language all its own. The persistent headaches, the back pain that won't quit, the fatigue that no amount of sleep fixes - these aren't random occurrences. They're your body's increasingly desperate attempts to get you to listen to what you've been suppressing. The body indeed keeps the score, and it will get progressively louder until you pay attention.

We explore practical approaches to creating safety - both within yourself and your environment - so you can begin processing emotions effectively. From checking in with your body to setting boundaries in relationships, these tools help create the container needed for real emotional work. And importantly, we discuss giving yourself permission to process at your own pace, recognising when you've reached your limit, and honoring that boundary.

Processing doesn't mean you need to feel everything at once. It doesn't mean you should have emotional conversations when you're already dysregulated. It's about finding the balance - knowing when to regulate and when to process - while remembering that healing isn't linear. Some days you'll have time and space for emotional work; other days you'll barely have time to breathe. That's not failure - that's being human.

Ready to transform your relationship with your emotions? This episode might just change how you approach your nervous system. Share your thoughts with us in our DMs - we'd love to hear how this resonates with you.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.