The Shadow Diaries

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Ever feel like you're constantly exhausted but somehow never getting ahead? This week, Cinder shares how she went from killing herself in corporate (literally first in, last out every day) to working 15 hours a week - and somehow doing better than ever.

We get into the real shit about why we stay so fucking busy all the time. Spoiler: it's not because we need to be. Through shadow work, Cinder discovered that her need to be the hardest worker in the room was actually about proving she was enough - and it was keeping her stuck in patterns that looked like success but felt like prison.

We talk about:

• Why posting about leaving the office at 7pm used to feel like a flex (and why it makes her cringe now)
• The moment she realized being "busy" was just fancy procrastination
• How shadow work showed her that 80% of what she was doing was just... noise
• That voice in your head that says you need to work harder to be worthy (and why it's lying)
• What actually happens when you stop trying to prove yourself through exhaustion
• The difference between actually working hard vs performing "hard work" for validation
• Why doing less isn't lazy - it's just not being controlled by your shadows anymore

This one's for anyone who's tired of the hustle culture bullshit but doesn't know how to stop. For the women who've been taught that their worth comes from how much they can handle. For anyone who suspects there's another way but can't quite see it yet.

Real talk about shadow work, breaking patterns, and creating a life that doesn't require you to burn out to feel successful.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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We unpack the near breakup that almost ended our friendship and how we found our way back. From anxious and avoidant attachment styles to business comparison, unmet needs, and emotional repair, this conversation explores the messy, human side of female friendship.

We talk about:
 • spotting the slow cracks and micro-moments of disconnection
 • anxious vs. avoidant attachment in friendships
 • over-responsibility, boundaries, and honest communication
 • comparison in business and diverging life paths
 • repairing ruptures while emotional (without bypassing)
 • long-distance friendship structures that actually work
 • asking for what you need in clear, grounded language
 • how rupture and repair deepen trust and safety

If you’ve ever wondered how to navigate conflict in friendships, rebuild trust, or handle emotional triggers with compassion - this episode is for you.

Subscribe for more raw conversations about friendship, healing, shadow work, and the real stories behind repair.
Share it with someone who needs a reminder that they’re not broken - just human.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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Lurinda sits down with her sister-in-law Steph to trace a raw path from over-giving and anxiety to boundaries, receiving, and award-winning service.

Steph shares how hypnotherapy, somatic work, and shadow work reshaped her life and business—and why she believes personal and professional growth are the same path.

In this episode:
• Moving from Australia to Canada and learning to receive love
• High standards, expectations, and the cost of poor boundaries
• Codependency awareness and the power of validation
• Regulating anxiety through exercise and nervous system work
• Breakthroughs through hypnotherapy and somatic therapy
• Reframing selfishness and integrating shadow work
• Human Design insights and surrendering control in leadership
• Authentic marketing that prioritizes safety and feeling
• Choosing community over competition in the beauty industry
• Shifting from should to could for sustainable change
• Steph’s practical advice for starting your growth journey
• How to work with Steph through coaching and training

If you’re ready for real conversations about healing, embodiment, and business that make you squirm in the best way—subscribe now.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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What if the fastest way to real change is the slow and steady path no one celebrates?

In this episode, we explore why shortcuts feel so seductive, how they quietly sabotage long term growth, and what it really takes to build systems that last. From 28 day challenges and “million in a year” promises to quick fixes in relationships, we talk about the difference between information and integration and why your nervous system needs steadiness more than sprints.

You’ll learn how neural pathways shape habits, why old patterns resurface even when new ones work, and how identity plays a bigger role than willpower. We unpack the common archetypes that keep people stuck such as the strong one, the hot mess, the lifelong dieter, and the chaos chaser in love. We also explore how fear, dopamine, and comparison loops reward speed but punish consistency.

Then we move into what actually works. Align your routines with the seasons of your life, whether that’s school holidays, end of year chaos, or new chapters. Choose one proven approach and commit to it for six to twelve months. Build nervous system capacity, create sustainable habits, and learn to tolerate boredom without abandoning yourself.

You’ll walk away with grounded and realistic steps to break the yo yo cycle, reduce burnout, and build a life that feels steady and fulfilling. If you’ve ever lost the same weight four times, posted for months with barely any engagement, or avoided a hard conversation until resentment built up, this episode will feel like an exhale.

If you’re ready to trade hacks for foundations and build a life that fits, one that feels calm, consistent, and resilient, this conversation is for you.

Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who’s ready to stop chasing shortcuts and start creating real lasting change.

Journal Prompts: Slowing Down to Build Real Change

1. Where in my life do I keep searching for the quickest or easiest path?
2. What emotions come up when I imagine slowing down or taking the long way?
3. When I don’t see results fast enough, what story do I tell myself about who I am?
4. How does my body feel when I’m in “rush” mode versus when I allow things to unfold naturally
5. What part of me believes that being fast, productive, or efficient makes me worthy?

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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In this episode of The Shadow Diaries, shadow work coaches Lurinda sits down with Caitlin—mum, counsellor, and mentor—to explore the quiet kind of relationship misalignment that looks fine from the outside but leaves the body shutting down.

Caitlin shares her story of months of throat tension, sudden weight changes, and constant messages to “be grateful, he’s a good dad.” When she finally said, “I can’t do this anymore,” her body exhaled for the first time in years.

Together we unpack what emotional safety really means: being able to feel, name, and ask without being dismissed. We talk about nervous system cues, over-functioning in relationships, and how repair cycles and counselling can only go so far when there’s a deeper disconnection.

You’ll also hear about the social fallout of choosing yourself, the pain of outgrowing a partner, and a simple body check-in practice to help you reconnect to your truth—without shame, villains, or clichés.

If you’re a woman, mother, or healer navigating relationship burnout or wondering why your body keeps whispering “enough,” this conversation is for you.

Listen now, follow The Shadow Diaries, and share it with a friend who needs to hear she’s not alone.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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Welcome to The Shadow Diaries—a podcast by shadow work coaches Lurinda and Steph, where real women share real stories about healing, self-discovery, and emotional growth.

After a year as Unhinged and Unfiltered, we’ve evolved into something deeper and more intentional. This new chapter is about demystifying shadow work and bringing compassion to the parts of ourselves we’ve been taught to hide.

Each episode explores the everyday moments that shape transformation—pausing before reacting, recognizing a trigger, or showing yourself kindness when it feels impossible. This is where healing becomes human.

Our approach to shadow work is practical and grounded. It’s not about fixing yourself or digging endlessly into darkness. It’s about understanding how your hidden parts have been protecting you and learning to meet them with curiosity instead of shame.

You don’t need to have lived through big trauma to belong here. Whether you’re a mother, a coach, or a woman simply trying to feel more like herself, The Shadow Diaries meets you exactly where you are.

Subscribe and join our community where personal development isn’t a solo mission. Share this podcast with someone who needs the reminder: you’re not broken—you’re just becoming more whole.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

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The dangerous game of constantly pushing through emotions eventually backfires - just like a pressure cooker that can't contain its contents forever. In this raw conversation, Steph and Lurinda explore why our "I'll deal with it later" mentality creates a ticking time bomb of suppressed emotions that inevitably explodes on those around us.

We introduce the powerful concept of "glass and rubber balls" - a practical framework for determining what responsibilities are essential (glass) versus what can temporarily bounce when your capacity is reduced. This approach gives you permission to drop certain tasks without the weight of failure when life becomes overwhelming.

For busy parents especially, finding micro-moments throughout the day can provide crucial emotional release valves. Whether it's a quick body scan at a stoplight or playing your music instead of the kids' during car rides, these small acknowledgments prevent emotional buildup. However, we also discuss how these micro-moments can sometimes become another avoidance tactic when deeper emotional work is needed.

The conversation takes a powerful turn when we examine how our patterns affect our households. When we consistently model pushing through and suppressing emotions, we're teaching our children to do the same. Similarly, when we establish ourselves as the household managers who handle everything, we create unrealistic expectations about others intuitively knowing when and how to step in during our moments of need.

Perhaps most importantly, we challenge the one-size-fits-all approach to rest and slowdown. Your version might look completely different from what's portrayed as ideal on social media - and that's perfectly okay. The key is interrupting your normal pattern with whatever genuinely replenishes you, rather than following someone else's prescription for what rest "should" look like.

If you're caught in the cycle of pushing through, rationalizing your feelings away, or putting everyone else's needs before your own, this episode offers compassionate insight and practical strategies to break free before the inevitable explosion.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

Send us Fan Mail

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

Send us Fan Mail

Ever caught yourself creating chaos when everything's going smoothly? Or felt like you need to give, give, give until there's nothing left just to be worthy? You're not alone.

After a year of consistent weekly episodes, we've made the decision to shift to a fortnightly schedule. This choice wasn't made lightly—it emerged from deep reflection on our patterns of overgiving, people-pleasing, and the sometimes uncomfortable feeling of stability.

Both of us have recognized familiar shadows: the belief that our worth comes from constant production, the discomfort that arises when life gets too "secure," and the tendency to burn ourselves out in service to others. As we navigate our successful businesses, family responsibilities, and personal growth, we've realized that sometimes less truly is more.

Through vulnerable conversation, we explore why security can feel terrifying when you've been programmed for chaos, how to recognize when you're creating unnecessary drama, and why slowing down doesn't mean giving less value, it often means giving more. We share our struggles with the question: "What do I contribute if I'm not constantly doing?" and how we're learning that simply being present is often contribution enough.

This episode offers permission to examine where you might be overcomplicating your life out of habit rather than necessity. It's about challenging the hustle culture that keeps us exhausted and disconnected from what truly matters, while honestly acknowledging the discomfort that comes with making changes aligned with our authentic desires instead of our conditioned "shoulds."

Ready to question where you might benefit from doing less but better? Join us on this journey of unlearning and reclaiming our time, energy, and joy. We'd love to hear how this resonates with you—drop into our DMs or leave a review to continue the conversation!

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

Send us Fan Mail

That moment when you're years into your healing journey and suddenly realize you're still a hot mess? We've all been there, and it's actually a sign you're doing the work right.

In this raw conversation, we dive into the uncomfortable truth about personal development—it's not a linear path to becoming "fixed" but rather a lifelong journey of acknowledging, accepting, and integrating our shadows. We explore how the deeper you go, the more sophisticated your defensive mechanisms become, and how the spiritual ego loves to whisper that you should be "beyond" certain struggles by now.

Using the metaphor of wounds transforming from infected gashes to eventual scars, we discuss why healing doesn't mean erasing your past but changing your relationship with it. Those scars serve a purpose—they're reminders of where you've been and what you've survived. They might occasionally become tender again under specific circumstances, but that doesn't mean you've failed at healing.

We distinguish between mere awareness of patterns (which many mistake for healing) and the deeper work of genuine acceptance. Without acceptance, we remain stuck in cycles of self-sabotage while convincingly explaining why we do what we do. True healing requires sitting in discomfort long enough to build resilience, rather than rushing through processes to avoid feeling.

Perhaps most importantly, we challenge the damaging notion that coaches, parents, or leaders need to have everything figured out. The most unsafe people are those who pretend to have no mess, no shadows, no wounds. Your humanity isn't something to overcome—it's the very thing that makes you relatable, authentic, and safe for others navigating their own messy journeys.

Ready to release the pressure of perfection and embrace the beautiful mess of being human? Listen now, and remember: we're aiming for progress, not perfection.

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.