The Splitting Smart Podcast

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What if the best way to win custody… is to wait?

This episode flips the script on what most veteran parents expect—and reveals what family court actually wants to see when it comes to veteran divorce and custody.

In Part 2 of my conversation with Hon. Mark Johnson (Ret.), we move from trauma to the tricky terrain of divorce and parenting after PTSD. If Part 1 was about what went wrong, this one’s about how to start making it right.

Whether you're a veteran struggling with post-combat stress and facing divorce, or the co-parent trying to hold it all together, this episode is full of clarity, compassion, and a clear plan forward.

In this episode:

·       What family court really wants to see before granting custody

·       How to set up parenting plans that account for trauma history

·       The custody checklist every military family should read

·       When it’s time to lower your timeshare—and why that’s not losing

·       Why treatment first = better outcomes for everyone

·       A mock court speech that every lawyer should borrow

About Mark Johnson: Hon. Mark Johnson (Ret.) served as a Superior Court Judge and Colonel in the U.S. Army. He’s a decorated Iraq War veteran, former Veteran’s Court judge, and the author of Scars and Strife, a novel inspired by real stories of combat trauma and recovery.

RESOURCES: 

Mark Johnson's book: Scars and Strife – https://a.co/d/38sod6z
Download Custody Checklist: https://mailchi.mp/2939c428981d/mediation-resources
Kelly’s Book: Victim Is Not Your Name – https://a.co/d/e4VguRk
Legal & Mediation Help: https://saperelawfirm.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/saperelawfirm
Facebook: https://facebook.com/saperelawfirm

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

This one’s powerful. 

If you or someone you love has worn the uniform, you already know that the battles don’t always stop when deployment ends. And when veterans divorce, there’s usually a whole lot beneath the surface leading up to the split. 

 In this episode of The Splitting Smart Podcast, I’m sitting down with someone I deeply respect: Hon. Mark Johnson (Ret.), an Iraq War vet, Bronze Star recipient, and the judge on the Veterans Court in Riverside County. He’s seen it all—PTSD, moral injury, addiction—and he’s here to share what most people (even lawyers) miss when a veteran ends up in family court. 

We talk about trauma, recovery, justice, and the marriages caught in between. 

In this episode: 

• Trauma and healing: what a decade of Veterans Court taught Judge Johnson  
• The signs of combat-related PTSD—and how they impact marriage 
• Why reintegration is harder than people realize 
• When domestic violence can really be about untreated trauma (and what to do about it) 
• What spouses and lawyers need to ask—but usually don’t 
• Stories of recovery, redemption, and hope 

About Mark Johnson: 

Hon. Mark Johnson (Ret.) served as a Superior Court Judge and Colonel in the U.S. Army. He’s a decorated Iraq War veteran and longtime advocate for veterans who find themselves in the justice system, especially those struggling with PTSD and trauma. His novel, Scars and Strife, brings these stories to life through fiction rooted in truth. 

Stay tuned for Part 2 (episode 62): 

In the next episode, we dive deeper into veteran divorce, and what it takes to build real co-parenting agreements after military service and trauma. 

HON. MARK JOHNSON (RET.)'S BOOK: Scars and Strife – https://a.co/d/38sod6z 

MEDIATION STARTER GUIDE: https://mailchi.mp/2939c428981d/mediation-resources  

WATCH ON YOUTUBE: The Splitting Smart Podcast

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:  Instagram.com/saperelawfirm

JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK:  Facebook.com/saperelawfirm

NEED QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation

NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU: Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

They were supposed to be spending their golden years traveling, relaxing, and maybe spoiling any grandkids. Instead? They spent two years locked in a bitter divorce that racked up over $100K in legal fees—and that’s just one side.

In this episode, I’m walking you through the story of my client "Jeremy," a retired man who did everything right. He offered fair settlements. He tried to keep it calm. He just wanted to move on with his life. But his ex was stuck in anger—and her attorney wasn’t there to solve problems, only escalate them.

You’ll hear how a judge finally stepped in with a scolding from the bench, and why it still took two years, multiple court hearings, and over $100,000 (double that for both sides!) before a resolution.

But this isn’t just about one couple. It’s about what happens when you let anger run the show: the stress, the time lost, the way it impacts your health, your family, and your future.

Whether you’re the one feeling angry or you’re up against someone who is—this episode will help you understand what’s really at stake, and how to stop the madness.

We’re unpacking:

• How a “simple” divorce turned into a financial and emotional nightmare
• Why fear often hides behind deep-rooted anger
• The mental and physical toll of prolonged litigation (including health scares)
• Why grown kids start pulling away when things get messy
• How some attorneys thrive on conflict—and drag things out
• The moment a judge said, “This should’ve settled long ago”
• How divorce mediation could’ve changed everything

MEDIATION STARTER GUIDE: https://mailchi.mp/2939c428981d/mediation-resources  

WATCH ON YOUTUBE: The Splitting Smart Podcast

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:  Instagram.com/saperelawfirm

JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK:  Facebook.com/saperelawfirm

NEED QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation

NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU: Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

Feel like something’s “off?" It might not be you—it might be your hormones.

I’m back with Dr. Diana Hoppe—OB/GYN, hormone expert, and breast cancer survivor—to get into what most doctors still aren’t telling you about hormone therapy. 

We’re talking about foggy thinking, the myths around hormone replacement theory, and what you can do to feel like yourself again.

If you’ve ever asked, “What’s happening to me?.... You’re going to want to listen to this episode.

Here’s what we get into:

• Why brain fog is not something you “just have to deal with”
• What really happened with that HRT study in the early 2000s
• Dr. Hoppe’s own breast cancer story
• What your OB/GYN might not be trained to look for
• How men can help their partners during perimenopause
• Natural ways to reset your system through supplements 
• How to find the right doctor who actually listens

It's time to stop blaming yourself—and start getting answers that actually help.

About Dr. Diana: 

Dr. Diana Hoppe is a board-certified OB/GYN, best-selling author, and total rockstar when it comes to helping women feel like themselves again. She is the founder of AmazingOver40.com, a telemedicine platform focused on hormone balance and women’s wellness. 

RESOURCES: 

• DR. DIANA'S WEBSITE: https://amazingover40.com 
• DR. DIANA'S BOOK: Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You: What Your Libido Reveals About Your Life 
• DR. DIANA'S PROGRAM: Dr. Diana’s Transform Your Body, Mind, and Energy Detox program
• WATCH ON YOUTUBE: The Splitting Smart Podcast
• FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:  Instagram.com/saperelawfirm
• JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK:  Facebook.com/saperelawfirm
• NEED QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation
• NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU: Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

Think your marriage is falling apart? It might actually be your hormones. 

Kelly sees people walk into her office every day ready to end their marriage—sometimes without realizing that hormones (theirs or their spouse’s) might be the real issue. Dr. Diana sees it too. Together, they break down how perimenopause, menopause, and hormone imbalance can show up as brain fog, anxiety, low libido, or emotional burnout—and how many women don’t get real answers until it’s too late. 

In this episode of The Splitting Smart Podcast, Kelly Bennett, Esq. teams up with Dr. Diana Hoppe—OB/GYN, hormone expert, and best-selling author—to talk about a little-known connection between hormonal shifts and marital breakdown. If you're in your 40s or 50s and feeling unhappy in your relationship, this episode is a must-listen. 

Dr. Diana and Kelly cover: 

• Why perimenopause is often a hidden factor in relationship conflict
• How hormone changes can masquerade as marital problems 
• What to do when everything feels like too much 
• Why libido issues, mood swings, and brain fog may not be “just stress” 
• What to now about hormone therapy and how to ask the right questions 
• When it’s time to pause and check your health before filing for divorce 

About Dr. Diana: 

Dr. Diana Hoppe is a board-certified OB/GYN, best-selling author, and total rockstar when it comes to helping women feel like themselves again. She is the founder of AmazingOver40.com, a telemedicine platform focused on hormone balance and women’s wellness. 

RESOURCES: 

• DR. DIANA'S WEBSITE: https://amazingover40.com 
• DR. DIANA'S BOOK: Healthy Sex Drive, Healthy You: What Your Libido Reveals About Your Life 
• DR. DIANA'S PROGRAM: Dr. Diana’s Transform Your Body, Mind, and Energy Detox program
• WATCH ON YOUTUBE: The Splitting Smart Podcast
• FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:  Instagram.com/saperelawfirm
• JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK:  Facebook.com/saperelawfirm
• NEED QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation
• NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU: Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

Divorce can feel overwhelming—even when faith is a big part of your life. Many people turn to their church for guidance, but what if you don’t feel comfortable talking to your pastor? What if the advice you’re given doesn’t match up with what you know is best for you and your family? What is there is abuse?  

In this episode, Kelly Bennett, Esq., continues her conversation with Denny Brewer—a longtime family law attorney, Executive Pastor, and General Counsel at Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas. They explore what faith communities often get wrong—and right—when it comes to divorce (hint: especially if there is abuse involved), how to navigate faith-based guilt, what to do if your place of worship isn’t the right fit for support, and why mediation can be the best choice for handling divorce for privacy and mental (and financial!) well-being reasons. 

Kelly and Denny chat about:

Why many people feel uncomfortable discussing divorce with their faith leaders 

• Why pastors and religious leaders should ask, “Is there abuse?”
• How abuse can go unmentioned and lead to tragedy 
• When to seek professional guidance outside of your faith community
•  Why mediation is often a better option than going to court 
• Why there is no better time to embrace faith and lean into prayer than during divorce 
• Plus, a couple of very surprising stories… 

Dennis Brewer is longtime family law attorney, and executive pastor and general counsel at Texas mega Church Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas. He is the co-author of the new book, Back to Court: A Complete Guide to Child Custody Litigation.  

Note: This episode touches on abuse and real-life incidents with unfortunate endings. If these subjects are difficult for you, please listen with care. 

RESOURCES:

DENNY BREWER'S BOOK: Back to Court: A Complete Guide to Child Custody Litigation. 

WATCH ON YOUTUBE: The Splitting Smart Podcast

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:  Instagram.com/saperelawfirm

JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK:  Facebook.com/saperelawfirm

NEED QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation

NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU:
Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

Hey friends, divorce can shake your faith to the core, right? Whether you’re struggling with guilt, a fear of being judged by your faith community, or questioning what your beliefs say about divorce, you’re not alone. 

What if the very thing you’re afraid of could actually be a source of healing and strength?

In this episode, Kelly Bennett, Esq., chats with Denny Brewer, Board Certified Family Law Specialist, about the impact of divorce on faith. They break down common struggles—like shame, isolation, and judgment—and give real-life insights on getting through divorce while staying true to your beliefs.

Key Takeaways from This Episode:

• The “Shame Factor” in Divorce – Why people feel judged and isolated during divorce—and how to break free from that mindset.
• Faith’s Role in Divorce – How some churches/places of worship get it wrong by ostracizing divorced members—and how others actually provide support and healing.
• Are You Stuck in Victim Mode? – How to recognize if you’re wallowing in self-pity or using your faith to find strength and purpose.
• The Power of Forgiveness – What true forgiveness really means (and why it’s actually for you, not your ex).
• The Right “They” – Why surrounding yourself with the right people during and after divorce is critical to healing and rebuilding your life.
• Faith-Based Therapy & Divorce Recovery – Why religious counseling alone may not be enough and how faith-based therapy can help you move forward.
• Making Your Misery Your Ministry – How your greatest struggle can become your greatest source of strength in helping others.

Whether you’re the one filing or the one who never wanted the divorce, this chat will help you find strength, clarity, and a way forward.

Dennis Brewer is longtime family law attorney, and executive pastor and general counsel at Texas mega Church Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas. He is the co-author of the new book, Back to Court: A Complete Guide to Child Custody Litigation. 
 
Want more? Tune in for a bonus episode (coming soon) that continues the conversation om divorce and faith. 

RESOURCES:

DENNY BREWER'S BOOK: Back to Court: A Complete Guide to Child Custody Litigation. 

WATCH ON YOUTUBE: The Splitting Smart Podcast

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:  Instagram.com/saperelawfirm

JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK:  Facebook.com/saperelawfirm

NEED QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation

NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU:
Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

Hey friends, let’s talk about something that keeps so many people up at night: divorce anxiety. 

If you’re in the middle of a divorce or a custody battle, you know how easy it is to get stuck in a cycle of worry. The “what ifs” never stop, and before you know it, you’re running on empty—exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed. 

But here’s the thing: Worrying won’t change the outcome. What will make a difference is learning how to focus on what you can control. In this episode, I’m sharing a simple, powerful strategy (inspired by Stephen Covey’s circles of control) to help you shift your mindset, lower your stress, and start making decisions from a place of clarity instead of fear. 

Here’s what we’re diving into: 

• Why divorce makes you feel like your brain is stuck in overdrive (and how to calm the chaos) 
• Are you stressing over things you can’t change? Learn to spot the difference between what’s in your control and what’s not 
• Break the worry cycle—a simple shift that stops anxiety from running your life 
• Mediation or court battle? How to know what’s right for your situation (and avoid unnecessary stress and money drains) 
• Taking your power back—how to stop feeling like a victim and start making smart moves for your future 

If you’re tired of losing sleep over your divorce, hit play now—this episode is packed with real, practical ways to help you breathe easier and move forward. 

Hosted by Kelly A. Bennett, Esq., a family law attorney and mediator with over 30 years in the family law trenches. 

RESOURCES:

BECOME AN INSIDER 

WATCH ON YOUTUBE: The Splitting Smart Podcast

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:  Instagram.com/saperelawfirm

JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK:  Facebook.com/saperelawfirm

NEED QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation

NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU:
Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges

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Struggling to bring up mediation with your ex? I have a resource that gives you easy scripts, smart tips, and a quick video to help you start the conversation.

Get it here

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

Hey friends, this one’s for all the hardworking parents out there trying to figure out how to juggle a busy career and the emotional rollercoaster of divorce and custody.

Let’s be real: divorce is tough enough, but when you’re the breadwinner, it can feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions.

You’ve poured a lot into your career—long hours, late nights, sacrificed weekends—and now you’re asking, “Is all of that going to work against me when it comes to custody of my kids?”

This week, we’re tackling the real struggles of balancing work and family during a divorce. I’m breaking it down in plain English, including what the courts actually look for in custody cases and how to set yourself up for success—while staying connected to your kids.

Here’s what we’re talking about: 

• How to build trust with your kids, your co-parent, and the court. 
• Joint custody, sole custody and physical custody - what do these terms really mean and how do they affect you? 
• “Status quo” in custody cases (and why it’s a big deal). 
• Parenting plans that actually work for you and your kids. 
• Why staying close to your kids’ primary residence could make or break your case for more parenting time. 
• How tech tools can help you stay connected, even when work takes you away. 
• The lowdown on mediation vs. court battles, and how mediation can save you time, money, and stress (while keeping the focus on your family’s best interests). 

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the tug-of-war between work, divorce court, and quality time with your kids, this episode is your realistic guide to getting through it. 
 
Hosted by Kelly A. Bennett, Esq., a family law attorney and mediator with over 30 years of experience in the family law trenches.   


RESOURCES:

Struggling to bring up mediation with your ex? I have a free resource that gives you easy scripts, smart tips, and a quick video to help you start the conversation.

Get it here

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WATCH ON YOUTUBE: The Splitting Smart Podcast

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:  Instagram.com/saperelawfirm

JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK:  Facebook.com/saperelawfirm

NEED QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation

NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU:
Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.

An ending is a new beginning,

Hey friends, this is it—the grand finale for On Fire Empire! Next stop? Our big, bold rebrand to The Splitting Smart Podcast! But before we fully dive into this exciting new era, we need to tackle something major: how to keep your career or business thriving during a divorce.

Let’s face it—divorce is messy. But here’s the deal: it doesn’t have to take down everything you’ve built. Whether you’re a small business owner or crushing it in your dream career, you can safeguard the work you’ve poured your heart into.

In this episode, I’m sharing my go-to strategies to help you stay focused, protect your livelihood, and dodge the classic pitfalls that can throw you off track. We’ll cover why your business or work matters more than ever, how to schedule your energy (instead of letting divorce drain it), the power of having a flexible game plan, and how to build a rock-solid support system that actually lifts you up.

You’ll get real-world advice, a few ‘aha!’ moments, and plenty of tools to help you split smart without letting the chaos of divorce derail your life. You’ve worked too hard to let that happen. Let’s do this!"

What’s Next?

The Splitting Smart Podcast, launches January 6th. Get ready for all-new episodes full of tips, tools, and strategies to navigate family law conflicts with clarity and confidence.

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WATCH ON YOUTUBE: Kelly Bennett, Esq.

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:  Instagram.com/saperelawfirm

JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON FACEBOOK:  Facebook.com/saperelawfirm

NEED A QUALITY LEGAL HELP? Visit Sapere Law & Mediation

NEED SOME ENCOURAGMENT? Kelly wrote a book just for YOU:
Victim Is Not Your Name: Remembering Your True Identity In the Midst of Life Challenges