The Stay-at-Homeschooling Mom Podcast

We have discussed institutions of higher learning in another podcast, but today, we will discuss graduating high school students who may have had enough of school—at least for now. A son is not sure if he wants to go to college. A daughter thinks she wants to be a dentist, a hairdresser, or a chef but is unsure what these entail. Today, let's talk about how to help those kids.

Show Notes:

Some kids are great students and have plans and professional aspirations.  BUT

College is now the default for many families, but should they reconsider?

What should they do?  Some possibilities

Get a Job - You cannot go wrong with taking a year off to think about your future and earn some money.

·      Build "employment skills." Show up on time, Learn to take orders from a superior, navigate a workplace, and stay off your phone.

·      Test Drive a job in a field your student is considering: Front desk at a hair salon or dental office, carpenter's helper, restaurant host. 

·      Learn Money Skills - Build a bank account, buy and insure a car.

Go into the Military

Take Time to Build a Spiritual Life

Frequent Mass and Confession - Get regular spiritual direction - Go on retreat

Volunteer in your Community

Church: altar server, lector, choir, teach CCD – Scouts – Help an elderly neighbor 

Homeschooling Resources

Seton Home Study School

Seton Testing Services

This time of year, many homeschooling parents are dealing with high school seniors who are wondering what they will do with their lives. Join Ginny and Mary Ellen in a lively conversation about post-high school educational options—their pros and cons—for young Catholic adults.

Your hosts' insight and practical advice are always flavored with their inimitable humor. 

Show Notes:

Many homeschooling parents have high school seniors wondering what they will do with their lives. Join Ginny and Mary Ellen in a lively conversation about a wide variety of post-high school educational options—their pros and cons—for young Catholic adults.

Neumann Guide schools –Colleges recognized for their commitment to a faithful Catholic education.

Pros - Easy access to the sacraments and other spiritual benefits. Many have expanded their academic offerings. They can be counted on NOT to teach your kids anything opposed to the faith - Wholesome living conditions - no coed dorms.

Cons - Private schools – not taxpayer-funded $$$, Distance from home and family, they might not offer certain fields of study.

Catholic Trade Schools –An early but growing trend in the Catholic sphere.

Pros - Many of the same benefits as Neumann Guide Schools – wholesome environment – opportunities for spiritual growth. Less costly and takes less time (associate degree), Kids with a trade will have few problems finding a job.

Cons - It's a new concept with no proven track record. There is uncertainty about which credits will transfer if kids pursue higher education.

Community Colleges

Pros - Kids can live at home – a BIG plus. While not spiritually uplifting, the lack of residential campus life can be an improvement over four-year schools.  Many students go to class and work, which is WAY more cost-effective. Credits will typically transfer to a four-year state school.

Cons - Any spiritual growth must come from local churches and families.

State Colleges and Universities

Pros - It is much cheaper than private institutions, especially for in-state students, and offers a wide range of majors.  Credits transfer; many have well-regarded schools for particular subjects, such as fine arts, bioengineering, and premed. Often, they are connected to local institutions for internships, etc.

Cons - Campus life is often at odds with Catholic teaching, which requires students to be firmly grounded in the faith BEFORE enrolling. Look for Opus Dei study centers and Neumann Centers. Most professors are left-wing and prejudiced against traditional values, although that can vary among departments.

Private Colleges and Universities

Pros - Many have strong name recognition and greatly benefit graduates seeking jobs. Strong alumni networks for job opportunities. Prestigious programs that make it easier to enter into prestigious graduate programs.

Cons - $$$$ Do not allow students to become so obsessed with going to a big-name school that they forget they will graduate with possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. Even smaller, less-known colleges are expensive, and they may not accept some transfer credits.

Campus life is not always wholesome. Look for Opus Dei study centers or Neumann Centers.

Homeschooling Resources

Newman Guide Recognized Colleges

Seton Home Study School

Seton Testing Services

Every homeschool parent fervently hopes to raise a child who loves to read. Once they find themselves loving a book, a series, or a subject and choose to immerse themselves in the pages of a book, we have won half the battle. 

So, how do we encourage children to read? How do we make it so much a part of life that there is no option but to be a reader? Today, Mary Ellen and Ginny explain ten ways to raise a reader.

Show Notes:

1. Be a reader. Let your child see you enjoying a book, magazine, or newspaper. 

2. Fill your house with books. Go to the library, pick up books at sales, thrift stores, and garage sales, trade books with other moms, and put books on the Christmas lists.

3. Read aloud every day. Read aloud to the newborn, the toddler, and the primary and secondary ages. It cannot be overestimated how important it is, even for toddlers. 

4. It must be a live experience; audiobooks are not the same.

5. It’s okay to be interrupted. Answer the questions, make funny noises, notice the pictures, and point to things.

6. Give emerging readers time; don’t rush it. Often, a child who has been struggling suddenly gets it. Be patient. 

7. Reading at this age should inspire imagination, encourage curiosity, and be fun.

8. If you suspect a learning issue such as dyslexia, don’t panic. There are programs available to help you*. Many families deal with these issues; don’t let them quench a child’s desire to read.

9. When a child is reading independently, check in often and provide a wide selection. Don’t neglect comics and series of books. Create a culture of reading.

10. Don’t forget non-fiction! A book about video games is still a book. If your child loves dinosaurs, sharks, or the rainforest, get some books about it.

Listener question:  This is an interesting one from Michael Lewis

I was wondering if you would consider making the title a bit more generic to account for the fact that plenty of dads out there are considering dropping the 9 to 5 and full-time homeschooling. 

The name of the podcast reflects our experience as homeschooling mothers, but we support and admire all the dads who have taken on the majority of homeschooling responsibility. Homeschooling is a whole family proposition, and whichever parent takes on the bulk of the teaching, leaving the other to take on the bulk of earning a living, knows that both are living lives of heroic virtue.  

Homeschooling Resources

Seton Home Study School

Seton Special Services

Seton Testing Services

While knowing the Four Rs (reading, ‘riting, ‘rithmatic, and religion) is essential for your child to succeed in life, it is also important to learn certain life skills to function well in the world.

Today, Mary Ellen and Ginny discuss ordinary things your children need to know, like how to manage money, how to really clean a room, and how to plan and cook healthy meals. 

Show Notes:

Did you know that an entire Instagram account is dedicated to the hapless texts teens send their parents while trying to navigate life?  Questions such as: 

While knowing the Four Rs (reading, ‘riting, ‘rithmatic, and religion) is essential for your child to succeed in life, it is also important to learn certain life skills to function well in the world.

So often, we hear of young people who cannot:

The result is that they cannot cope efficiently in life. 

You can’t send your children into the world without teaching them how to care for themselves, their homes, and the people around them. Part of the problem is that an entire generation of people out there whose mommies did everything for them, and it shows.

Let’s run through a few basic life skills your children need to know how to do.

·       Children should be taught the value of money.

·       How to keep track of it from a fairly young age. 

·       They must learn to save, give to charity, and spend wisely. 

·       Grasp the long view of money. Every stop at Chik-Fil-A is that much less in savings. 

·       Teach them to write a budget and stick to it.

2.     How to make small talk. 

·       Conversation is a life skill. 

·       You will be called upon to get to know strangers in business and social situations. 

·       You must make eye contact and speak in sentences.

·       Learn to ask polite questions, smile, and be courteous.

3.     How to really clean a room.

·       Start at the top and work your way down, dusting, vacuuming, and polishing.

·       Putting things away, fluffing pillows, and vacuuming curtains.

·       Washing windows, baseboards, and moldings.

4.     How to iron a shirt.

·       This skill will save money.

·       Your clothes will last longer.

·       And it’s a dying art and will impress friends, family, and prospective spouse.

5.     Taking care of a car.

·       Pumping gas, checking the oil, and changing a tire.

·       Jumping the battery, cooling an overheating radiator, and general maintenance.

·       Preparing for an emergency. 

6.     How to read a map.

Homeschooling Resources

Seton Home Study School

Seton Testing Services

Notes from Social Media

Anastasia wants to know, "How do you challenge a high ability/gifted child? What’s the best way to do that without stifling their natural wonder and love of learning?"

Ginny offered, "Anastasia, they still have to learn to apply themselves to academic tasks to build future study skills. But what keeps them engaged, challenged, and stimulates their wonder and love of learning is enrichment, which includes class trips and special programs of particular interest to them."

A recent social media meme asked, "Am I teaching my children for Heaven, or am I teaching them for Harvard?" Ginny and Mary Ellen address these important questions on the minds of many parents in today's podcast, thoughtfully defining the meaning of those destinations and guiding you to find your family's unique homeschooling solution. 

Program Notes:

First, no parent wants their child to go to hell, and we all recognize that only a handful go to that particular university or any Ivy.  So, what are we talking about?  

Let's define some terms.

Heaven means that we give our children a thoroughly Catholic education so they:

Harvard means raising leaders for success in their:

Not every child is a good candidate for the Ivy League, but

Every child can change the world—our job is to prepare them for that.

We must:

Practical Suggestions

Can't Afford College? 

Very Important Life Lessons

Hopefully, some of your children, the talented and lucky ones, will reach positions of power and authority. Our country and our world need them.

But every one of them can:

Summary - Moral adults can improve the world in thousands of ways.  So don't teach for Heaven or Harvard – teach for both!

Homeschooling Resources

Seton Home Study School

Seton Testing Services

Notes from Social Media

April asks if we have some encouragement for a family dealing with complex medical issues.

"My question is: what would be the one thing you would share with a family to encourage them when they have a season where they are exponentially challenged, and they are spending more time praying than "educating"? I know what we do, but I'd love to hear what your combined experience offers your listeners. Thank you for sharing your talents."

Mary Ellen replied, "April, when you're a medically complex family, you are basically required to be flexible. Plans, deadlines, and intentions all take a backseat to health. With this in mind, it also presents a wonderful opportunity to teach fortitude, discernment, gratitude, patience, etc. I hope that helps. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers."

Providing children with a Catholic education was considered so important to Irish, Italian, and Polish immigrants that parishes built the school BEFORE the church.  A lot has changed but Mary Ellen and Ginny remind us that one thing that has NOT changed is the serious obligation of Catholic parents to give their children an authentic Catholic education. Today they discuss how homeschoolers can best fulfill that obligation.

Show Notes:

Years ago, providing children with a Catholic education was considered so crucial that parishes built the school BEFORE the church.  What changed?  Well, lots, but today, Mary Ellen and Ginny remind us that the one thing that has NOT changed is the serious obligation of Catholic parents to give their children an authentic Catholic education. They also discuss how homeschoolers can be best equipped to fulfill that obligation.

Parents are required to give their children a thoroughly Catholic education – period.

So, what does this mean for homeschoolers?

·       There are a few legitimate reasons to use non-Catholic materials – a special needs child, could be one of them.

·       Money can be a factor if you truly cannot afford a Catholic option.

2.     Content is a critical issue in reading, science, and history.

·       Books should teach the Catholic Faith and give examples of the saints.  

·       Christian books can be downright anti-Catholic. 

3.     It is imperative to teach the extraordinary accomplishments of faithful Catholics.

Holy Mother Church is often portrayed as anti-science.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  Some sources are quick to bring up Galileo but neglect to mention that:

·       It was Catholic cleric Nicolas Copernicus who first identified the sun as the center of our solar system. 

·       Augustinian Monk Gregor Mendel founded the field of genetics.  

·       Louis Pasteur, founder of bacteriology, was a devout Catholic who prayed the rosary daily.  

·       Seismology is often called the Jesuit science because of the order’s contributions.  

That’s why you need a Catholic program!  

4.     Your parish CCD program, even the best-intentioned of them, is Catholic-lite.  

They cannot and do not replace daily religious instruction in your home.  Thirty hours a year just does not cut it.  And it includes a minimal Catholic history of accomplishment. 

A Great Catholic program we love:

Homeschooling Resources

Seton Home Study School

Seton Testing Services

Society of Catholic Scientists

Notes from Social Media

Beth from Illinois wants to know:

How much time is typically spent on kindergarten? My second child is on the way, and I am overwhelmed by the idea of managing a school schedule with a new baby at home. 

Best advice: Don’t sweat it.  Maybe an hour to two during the day can be split up. Be flexible using baby’s naptime or downtime.  Now, as they start to crawl and walk, things get challenging. You’ll find more about that in our episode, The Secret of Teaching with a Toddler in the House.

Are you considering homeschooling but are not quite there yet? You may have bought a few books, read a few blogs, and followed a few Instagram accounts. It can be really hard to say, "We are doing this!" and jump in. Well, fear not: Ginny and Mary Ellen have helped thousands with their clear and simple practical advice, along with a generous helping of good humor.

Listen now at the link below! 

https://www.setonhome.org/podcast/

Program Notes:

How Do I Get Started?

Are you considering homeschooling but are not quite there yet? Have you dipped your toes in? You may have bought a few books or read a few blogs. It can be really hard to jump in and say “We are doing this!” Ginny and Mary Ellen have a few things to consider that might help you take the plunge. 

So, if you think you should homeschool, we agree and have a few tips to help you get started.

·       HSLDA is an excellent resource for state rules. See the link in Resources below.

·       Discreetly check out the compliance your local school district requires. 

·       Look for local Facebook groups.

·       Veteran moms are an excellent resource for the ins and outs of reporting.

·       If you withdraw from public school, sending a letter stating you will homeschool is standard.

·       Provide the minimum of information. Too much information can cause trouble.  

2.     Start with a boxed curriculum. 

·       In the first year, you might be more relaxed if you are enrolled somewhere. 

·       It's straightforward; you know all the bases are covered. 

·       As you gain experience, you can pick and choose or write your own.

3.     Get organized.  

·       Start getting your house in order. 

·       Be ruthless and get rid of everything not serving your family. 

·       Set up a system to easily plan your meals, tidy up, and grocery shop. 

·       Record a phone message:  "Schools in session. I'll return your call after dismissal."

4.     Get routines started. 

·       Envision your daily routine and rhythm. 

·       Establish play times, chore times, nap times, and bedtimes.

·       Schedules will make your first year of homeschooling much less stressful. 

5.     Make a Plan. 

·       Decide on your start date, vacation days, and end date. 

·       Plan a few field trips and art projects. 

·       Get a teacher planner for each child.

6.     Time outside your home. 

·       Use good judgment in choosing activities.

·       Your first year is not the time to jump into outside activities.

·       Those activities will be available in the second semester or even next year.

·       Time may be your greatest asset, be a miser spending it in your first year.

Homeschooling Resources

Seton Home Study School

Seton Testing Services

Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA)

Notes from Social Media

Maria and Carrie posted on the podcast's FB page asking for tips on how to teach spelling.  

There are two keys to successful learning:  repetition and multi-sensory.  Kids who struggle with spelling should write them 5 or 10 times each.  They see them, and the words go into muscle memory when they write them.  Even better, say them and spell them as they write them.  Book b-o-o-k Book.  Make it fun by letting them write words on a whiteboard or the patio floor using sidewalk chalk.  Before they test, have students march up and down, repeating the words and their spellings several times.

Who says Catholic homeschool students can't enjoy school spirit and connection with their fellow students? Not Seton Home Study School!

Seton has an online forum, Catholic Harbor, to provide just those things and more. Listen to learn more!

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Draper Warren Bio:

Draper Warren is the Director of Admissions at Seton and the Admin of Catholic Harbor. He is a Seton alumnus and graduate of Christendom College. He has worked at Seton for over 25 years, earned an MBA, and is currently completing a doctoral degree in educational leadership at Marymount University.

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Show Links:

https://www.setonhome.org/student-life/catholic-harbor/

https://www.catholicharbor.com

Venerable Fulton Sheen said. "There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be." 

These words could easily be applied to homeschooling. Too many people react negatively when they hear of a family homeschooling, but these impressions could not be further from the truth. Today, Mary Ellen and Ginny take on the naysayers' challenge with Debunking Seven Myths and Misconceptions About Homeschooling, arming you with the real story.

#1 Parents are not qualified to teach their children. 

This is ridiculous, considering a child learns more in the first five years of life than in the remainder of their lives, and that's entirely due to the parents. You can find all kinds of resources to help you teach.

#2. Homeschooled children don't get to socialize. 

This is the most pervasive myth about homeschooling. People always bring it up, and it is just not true. Numerous studies prove that homeschooled kids excel in socialization. 

Bottom Line - School socialization is virtually useless:

This generation is the unhappiest we have witnessed in modern history. Kids—the vast majority of whom are in school—are miserable, so socialization is not what it is cracked up to be.

3. It's harder for homeschooled students to get into college. 

This may have been true at some point, but now colleges are actively recruiting homeschooled students. 

4. Only parents with advanced degrees can homeschool. 

That is not true. Any parent can homeschool. If you are unfamiliar with the material, there are teacher's editions, videos (YouTube, Khan Academy), and some home study schools have counselors. Online classes are also an option. As long as you are directing your child's education, you are homeschooling. You don't have to be the one teaching every class. Also, it is fun to learn alongside your kids.

Public school teachers all have degrees, many advanced, and that system is a disaster. Parents would almost have to try to do worse.

5. Homeschoolers need to experience diversity. 

This is a funny criticism since public school classrooms are strictly geographical in their composition. You are sitting in a room with people who make up your neighborhood. How diverse is that? However, homeschooled students get out into the world, travel, feed their curiosity, volunteer, and have the opportunity to explore the world as they learn about it.

6. You can't work outside of the home and homeschool. 

Again, not true. You can homeschool at any time of day or any schedule that works for you. You have to be organized and sometimes let something go (your floor may be sticky for a while), but it can be done and done well.

7. Homeschoolers can't participate in extracurricular activities. 

Homeschool kids play on soccer teams, go to dance classes, and participate in the same club leagues and other organizations that other kids do. Because their time is better managed, they also have an opportunity to follow up on their interests. They have time to read for pleasure, craft, tinker with Legos, or build forts in the yard.  

There will always be naysayers when you choose a path different from the norm. When you prayerfully decide that homeschooling is right for your family, do not let the Debbie Downers of the world rob you of the peace that comes with knowing that your child is growing and learning in a loving, safe environment from parents who want the best from them.

Resources:

Homeschooling and the Question of Socialization Revisited, Richard G. Medlin, Stetson Univ.

Richard G. Medlin, Stetson University (A wealth of information here, See: Publications)

Homeschooling Information:

Seton Home Study School

Seton Testing Services

Do you have a child who is hesitant to try new things? Who would rather sit and stare at a book because they are convinced, they can’t do it, even before they try? 

Today, Ginny and Mary Ellen discuss how confidence can be encouraged in even the most hesitant children and chart a map of seven key lessons for building self-confidence in your homeschooled child.

The Hesitant Child

Do you have a child who is hesitant to try new things? Who would rather sit and stare at a book because they are convinced they can’t do it before they even try? Self-confidence is an essential life skill, enabling a child to face challenges, cope with frustration, and try their best at new things. 

Seven Key Lessons to Build Self-Confidence in your homeschooled child.

1. First and foremost, self-confidence is knowing you are a child of God. He has given you gifts and talents and expects you to use them. When you know that, it becomes easier to believe in yourself. One of the best results of self-confidence is the ability to do the right thing even when it is unpopular, which is part of life in the world today. 

2. Model confidence for your children. Tell them that sometimes new things make you nervous or stressed out, but they mostly turn out fine.  We were not created to worry but to try to discern God’s will for us. Sometimes, that means doing something new or out of our comfort zone.  

3. Praise sincerely. That doesn’t mean constantly. Constant praise diminishes the effect and kids know insincerity when they hear it. It’s a “you get a sticker for everything” culture. Praise when something is truly praiseworthy and make it meaningful.  It doesn’t have to be direct praise.  You tell Daddy that little Johnny took over for you to make dinner when you were called away.  He was a lifesaver.  You don’t have to say to him directly.  Everyone will know that he saved the day. And he’ll know it, too.  

4. Help them set realistic goals. Some kids will set the bar for themselves too high for their developmental age.

5. Guide them in problem-solving, ask why something isn’t working, help troubleshoot the problem, and let them work it through.

6. Let them fail. It’s the best teacher.  Let them see that sometimes, even our best efforts are not enough to reach a goal, and that’s okay.

7. Give them responsibilities and their completion opportunities to earn privileges. Children gain confidence in their abilities when they accomplish something – not when they get an unearned trophy. Start with household responsibilities such as yard work or babysitting. As they gain skills, they can market them. 

Epilogue: Two of my grandkids were hired to help at a large family gathering – mainly to entertain little ones.  They did that but also helped with party cleanup.  Got glowing reviews and tipped!)

Homeschooling Information

Seton Home Study School

Seton Testing Services