The Stepmom Diaries | Blended Family & Stepmom Support Podcast

Stepmom Outsider Syndrome Is Real.

Do you ever feel like everyone else in your family belongs...except you?

Maybe your stepkids talk only to their dad. Maybe everyone starts reminiscing about memories from before you came along. Or maybe, no matter how hard you try, you still feel like you're standing on the outside of your own family looking in.

There's a name for that: stepmom outsider syndrome.

And here's the hard truth you probably aren't expecting: In some ways, you are an outsider.

You weren't part of the original family unit. There are memories, relationships, and experiences that existed before you came along. But that doesn't mean you're destined to feel like an outsider forever.

In this episode of The Stepmom Diaries, Cameron gets real about why stepmom outsider syndrome happens and what you can actually do about it.

You'll learn:

• Why feeling like an outsider is so common for stepmoms
• Why trying harder to make your stepkids accept you can actually backfire
• How your partner can help you feel more supported and included
• Why stepping back and focusing on yourself may actually help you feel more secure in your family

Most importantly, Cameron shares five practical ways to deal with stepmom outsider syndrome without losing yourself trying to fit into a family that existed before you.

Because the goal isn't to erase your family's past. It's to create a new family unit where there's room for the past and a place for you.

Resources Mentioned

• How To Bond With Your Stepkids: I've got a great blog post on this topic, and a freebie with ideas for things you can do to bond with your stepkids. You can access it HERE.
• Stepmom Outsider Syndrome: The Hard Truth: If you enjoyed this episode, I've also got a post on the issue that you can access HERE.
• Free Resource: 10 Essential Scripts for Stepmoms: https://stepfamilycertification.com/stepmom-scripts

And if this episode sounds like a stepmom you know, send it to her. Sometimes simply realizing there's a name for what you're feeling can make you feel a whole lot less alone.

Do You Have A Stepmom Anchor Statement?

When you were getting serious with your partner, you probably discussed some of the logistics of what blending your families would look like. Whether you would attend sporting events or pick kids up from school. But did you discuss your role at a deeper level? Did you think about your stepmom purpose? Your "why"?

Obviously the "why" starts with you falling in love with your spouse. But what are your hopes and goals for being a stepmom? What kind of stepmom do YOU want to be?

Today we're going to talk about why you need to understand your stepmom role and how you can figure out the kind of stepmom you want to be. And I'm going to help you create your own Anchor Statement, which will help you get clear on all of your goals, your priorities, and your needs going forward.

Resources Mentioned In The Episode:

My upcoming FREE Stepmom Masterclass: The 3 Stepmom Lies Keeping You From Living Your Best Blended Family Life. For more information and to sign up, click HERE. In the Masterclass, I'll help you uncover the things. you're doing that you don't even realize are holding you back. And the simple tweaks you can make right now to start LOVING your stepmom life!

One of the most common challenges for stepmoms is how to relate to their stepchildren's biological mom, or "biomom" in stepmom speak. Especially if it's a high conflict situation.

When you started dating and then settled down with someone with kids, you probably didn't expect that so many aspects of your life would be controlled by someone outside of your marriage or your immediate family. Someone who might not like you.

So how do you deal with a biomom who doesn't like you? How do you deal with her if it's a high conflict situation? We'll talk about all of that and more in this episode.

Resources Mentioned In The Episode

"Ten Quick Tips To Deal With A High Conflict Bio Mom" that you can download for FREE right here.

Bill Eddy, of The High Conflict Institute, has some great resources to deal with high conflict situations - both in blended families and in the workplace. Head to our show notes for more of his tools.

Another great resource is Stepmom Magazine - an online publication with the tagline, "Even when it's good, it's complicated."

In this episode, we're going to talk about new year's resolutions. Why I stopped setting them this year, and what I did instead. And that it's not too late for you to try it, too.

I also give you a hint about some SUPER exciting things coming your way this year. For a free sneak peek, sign up HERE!

You can find the show notes (and other goodies) at www.thiscustomlife.com/episode11.

Why You Need Mindfulness Now And How To Get It

Our guest today is Magriet Steyn and she's talking all about how to clear your mind and change your outlook through mindfulness.

Stepmom life can be rough - on a daily basis sometimes. And it's all too easy to "catastrophize." (Don't know what that term is? Neither did I before today's talk!)

Magriet helps guide stepmoms to a more peaceful outlook and positive mindset through meditation and self-care.

Magriet is the founder of Stepfamily Harmony and Mindful Stepmums. She's a professional Life Coach, Certified Stepparent Coach, and Mindfulness Meditation Teacher. As a stepmom to two adult stepchildren, a bio mom to two teens, and a coparent with two ex-husbands, she understands the complexities and challenges surrounding stepfamily life. Magriet helps stepmoms move from overwhelm to ease through a combination of coaching techniques and mindfulness practices.

You will not want to miss this discussion!

You can find Magriet at stepfamilyharmony.com, and you can connect with her on Facebook, where she runs regular live meditations, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Forgive and Forget - not as easy as it sounds!

In our last episode, we talked about gratitude and being intentional about things you're thankful for. Forgiveness goes hand in hand with gratitude, believe it or not, and that's what we're talking about today.

Forgiving someone is hard. Really hard. In this episode, I'll give you four steps to take so you can both ask for and grant forgiveness in your daily life.

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Stanford Forgiveness Project: https://learningtoforgive.com/9-steps/

Mayo Clinic: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692

And don't forget . . . Text 44222 with the word "STEPMOM" if you'd like a preview of our BLENDED Family Formula. You can also find it HERE.

Did you know that gratitude is more than just being thankful? It's about forgiveness, too. And the two go hand in hand in helping you build a positive frame of mind. This is the first of a two-part series about gratitude and forgiveness and how they relate to your stepmom life.

In today's episode, we'll talk about five ways you can reset your outlook by looking for more ways to be grateful in your daily life.

You can find the show notes at: www.thiscustomlife.com/episode8

Can you imagine falling in love with someone who has a child and then moving from your big city home to the same small town they and their ex have lived in for years and years? Add in all the challenges around being in an LGBTQ+ blended family and you'll have the journey of today's guest.

We talk about all of that and more with Beth McDonough, owner of The Inclusive Stepmom, as well as CMO and Editor-in-Chief of Stepmomz, the first mobile app for stepmoms.

In this episode, we talk all about how you can make your relationship a priority.

Especially during these crazy times, it's easy to let your relationship take a back seat to all of the day to day responsibilities you've got. Especially in the complicated dynamics found in blended families.

But the good news is, you can get back on track. And I'll show you how. (spoiler alert: it will take some work and some intentionality)

Check out the show notes HERE, along with our companion blog post HERE.

We're so delighted to welcome Kristen Skiles as our guest in this episode. She is a Certified Stepparent Coach and founder of stepmomming.com, where she works to show stepmoms around the world that stepmomming is what they do and not who they are, encouraging them to embrace their unique roles and truly love their lives.

In this episode, we'll tackle all the things. From her unique stepmom history (her husband's ex is one of her besties and actually lived with them for a bit!), to stepmom insecurities, to why you might want to consider a stepmom coach, it's a fun discussion that you won't want to miss!

Here are all the places you can find Kristen: Blog: https://stepmomming.com/ Shop: https://shop.stepmomming.com/ Facebook: https://facebook.com/stepmomming Private Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/stepmommingainteasy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stepmomming/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/stepmomming/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/stepmommingblog