Mindful Mondays-#282 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Always Wake Up Hopeful

Maybe you’re saying hope’s nice, but it ain’t going to pay my bills…hope has never been there when I needed it. It’s just a waste of time.  I am not talking about a small hope, a fleeting wish in hopes that things might be ok. I am talking about an eternal faith and a belief that things will always be better when we focus more efficiently.

It may seem small, or not that big of a deal, but if you wake up not looking forward to your day, not having a hope that there will be great things in it…then you are starting a snowball rolling down a hill. And snow, will pick up more of what it is, so if it’s negative thoughts it picks up more negative thoughts. It rolls down a hill and that snowball gets bigger, it becomes easier to gravitate towards more negative thoughts, and even bigger negative thoughts. And after time it actually becomes natural to think and feel this way.

I created an acronym for hope. Do you know what HOPE stands for?

Hearing

Only

Positive

Expectations

Ok maybe hearing isn’t as good as the word seeing but hope starts with an H not an S… people would get confused if I kept saying I have a Sope (and that is sope not soap)… or would it sound differently… like having an accent on the E as if it was in French…as it might sound like SOPaaaay, or SopEEEE… I didn’t take French so hopefully my accent did it justice.

But anyways, when we’re seeing, hearing, or working to experience ONLY POSITIVE EXPECTATIONS…guess what. More positive things happen. Now people will say the key to life is not to expect anything. First of all what human being has no expectations? Even the wisest guru has expectations…he expects to find calm in his mediation, he expects to find answers sometime during his life, and he expects to have no expectations. It’s a nice thought and I get what they’re saying—that we shouldn’t be so attached to outcome, as we can get so determined on getting that specific thing and when something else happens we’re broken instead.

So instead of expecting one exact thing…let us expect something…let us expect a wide range of possibilities and being open to all out comes. Because even when something bad happens something good can come from it. You may not be able to see it in the moment, but the hardest times have been our greatest times because they are the most diligent teachers. Let us expect to do something more with our lives…not to prove something to someone else, but to prove something to ourselves, to live as if our lives had meaning in every moment, and to know that if we seek out purpose with so much force that we‘ll know the difference between a life lived and a life in idle.

So I challenge you to change your morning ritual from just waking up and doing the things you feel you have to do…and instead adding a big cup of hope into your morning. That will be the best caffeine you will ever take in.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What’s the first thing you look at in the morning besides your alarm clock? Is it your phone? Is it your bathroom mirror, is it the window to look outside?  Whatever you look at first find a sticky note and write something on it to the likes of “Let’s Start Off With Great Hopes Today” or maybe “Hope Changes Everything.” Write something that resonates with you on focusing on more hope in your morning. Make sure to put that post it note in that same spot for the next week before you go to bed and see how your mornings change, and see how your day changes… I hope it will begin a new habit of creating a better day.

I Always Wake Up Hopeful

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Smiling Sundays - #281 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Am A Blessing

You aren’t a mistake. You were meant to share your unique, amazing, beautiful, kind and caring self with the world. You were NOT put here to create conflict or chaos, but to stand for something greater—truth and love. So speak your truth and love …less through your words, and more through your actions.

I think it’s difficult to know you’re worthy without having to do great things. In Christianity there’s a common thread that I hear in all the different sects as we’re taught that we aren’t worthy of God’s love but he gives it to us anyways. That we are wretched sinners, but God still will want us in his presence. And I know what they’re trying to say, that the creator of the universe…the one who is so perfect will love us no matter what we do or who we are…but it’s such a backwards way of looking at things. Would you ever say to a child that you aren’t worthy of our love, but we’ll give it to you anyways?

And for me I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts partly because of this very notion. That I had to beg for forgiveness because I was a wretched human, and that I was unworthy of God’s love. There’s a rite of passage into religions and for Christianity it’s being baptized…and that can mean many things as it’s the way to be able to be saved, to have entrance into heaven, to be forgiven of original sin (the sin that Adam had broken the ONLY commandment God had given of not eating the apple in the garden of Eden)…and we are like Adam, so we need to repent for original sin through baptism and be like the New Adam…which is Jesus…because again, we are flawed humans.

I’m not berating any religion here, I think whatever will help you get closer to God is a beautiful thing…but I was in a prison from some of the dogmas of the many religions I’d come in contact with. I lived in this darkness, this shadow of life. Trying to be better for God, hoping that someday I’d be worthy thru my actions and thru my faith… Yet I never felt worthy because I still held onto the belief that I was unworthy of God’s love…but hey… as everyone else kept telling, he still loved me through my wretchedness anyways.

It wasn’t until I could come to love myself, I could then love God, and I could then love others, and I could then find what was always in front of me… happiness. I’d been thinking I had to do something for it, I was thinking I had to beg for it, I was thinking I had to be forgiven for it…but it was there all along when I decided to love myself…which helped me to love the things around me.

I know I tend to get life confused with living. That if I do one more great thing, then I’m getting closer to that proverbial heaven…but as they say—life is not a destination it’s a journey. And by truly understanding that thought, it helped me to see that it wasn’t in one action…or always trying to beat a previous action…it was about continual movement towards the ultimate goal…love. And that love was in serving others, it was in serving myself more kindly, and it was in serving life by becoming a part of it. I’m a blessing, you’re a blessing, we’re all blessings.

You don’t have to be forgiven, you don’t have to pray for it, you don’t have to wish for it, you don’t have to work for it…you are already there. And when I STOPPED groveling and trying to find forgiveness through actions…I found peace in continually moving towards having a servants heart… every day…no matter my place in life.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
How do you know you’re a blessing? I know it sounds like a rhetorical question, but I want you to do a little self-love right now. Grab a piece of paper and at the top write How I Am A Blessing. And then begin writing as many things as you can, to tell why you’re a blessing to this world. And they don’t have to all be big actions…We think that greatness comes from big actions, but small actions lead to big changes. It might be that you hold the door open for people, it might be that you volunteer to coach your daughter’s softball team, it might be that you plant a tree every year to help the environment out a bit. And if you are having trouble finding reasons, then tell a few people about this activity and ask them if they could help give you a few reasons that you are a blessing. And maybe help them out too if they want to do the activity with you.

I am a blessing

Synergy Saturdays-#280 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

To Everyone Who Said I Couldn’t…Just Watch Me

You are always going to have someone telling you that you can’t. Even if you were the greatest person in the world, someone will be rooting for you to fail. But don’t let that deter you or get you down….because it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them.

For when people wish for others to fail, it’s because they see the faults within themselves. They get pleasure in watching people fail because they don’t want people to do better then them. They don’t want to be left behind or they want to feel superior to someone because they think that makes them feel better about themselves. However, that logic is faulty because you don’t have to be above someone, or have someone under your thumb to feel better about yourself.

We think that if someone does good then maybe it’s taking something away from us, but again that’s an inaccurate way of looking at the world. When people do better it doesn’t take away from us, it shows us the possibility of what and who we can be. That there’s more in this world, not less… because someone took something for themselves.

I know I’ve been there many times myself. I’ve had friends do great things such as publish a book, make their first million, get a job where they are extremely happy in, find a relationship that fulfills them, or realize their potential and achieve something really great… And while I’m happy for that person on one hand, if I am honest with myself I feel a sadness almost immediately. Not because of them but because of myself and what I’m telling myself. I’m jealous of what they have done… I’m wanting to be where they are without putting the work in that they did, and I tell lies to myself why them and not me.

It’s not that I don’t want my friends to succeed…it’s that I don’t want to be left behind. And thinking that way only keeps me trapped in my predicament. It keeps me in fear and it keeps me inactive. You see the reason my friends achieved what they did was they went towards what they wanted despite the fear they felt. We lie and tell ourselves that they had it easy. Thus we never really the struggles they went through, we never see the times they doubted themselves, and we never see the times they almost quit.

I know I’m not alone in thinking this way, so instead of us feeling envy or jealousy that we haven’t gotten ours yet…let us know that the people who achieving great things in our lives are not taking from us but they are showing us what’s possible. The great thing about your friends achieving something great …is now they are a resource to you…you can pick their brain and ask them how they did it.  Maybe they might even help you on your way towards your goal as they take you under their wing. But you regardless, you now have an example to model after if you need some help in seeing how to achieve great things. You aren’t meant to have what they have, and they aren’t meant to have what you have. You both are meant to have great things, you both are meant to do great things, and you both are meant to be a great expression of life within this world.

So to everyone who told you that you can’t, even the internal critic who told you that you would fail… it has nothing to do with you. It’s only the fear they feel of being left behind…and your internal critic is only your safety mechanism trying to protect you in case you fail… but you will never fail if you decide to reach further than your grasp. The greatest things are just past the horizon of our vision, and the greatest things are within reach if we decide to stop being afraid of failing and start pursuing what we dream of.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
Think about a time you heard of a friend’s great achievement and where you felt a sadness within that you wished you had gotten what they had. Now that you have some distance, think about how you would like to react next time. I know for me sometimes it feels like I am being fake happy for them…but that’s not the case. I am just in conflict because I am excited about their happiness, but I am caught in my dissatisfaction with where I am.  We cannot focus on two things at once, so we cannot be happy when we are thinking about jealousy or envy. So think about how you could be 100% happy for them knowing that you are on another path to success.

To Everyone Who Said I Couldn’t…Just Watch Me

Fantastic Fridays-#279 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Decide How My Story Ends

There’s a saying I love…”Everything will be alright in the end, if it’s not alright, then it’s not the end.” That saying does two things for me

• It reminds me that things are temporary and my problems won’t last forever.
• That I can choose how I want my story to end. If I’m stuck in a place I don’t like it doesn’t have to be the end of my story…I can choose if I want a different ending

When I talk with people about changing their story, some people get offended as if I’m saying that what they’re experiencing isn’t happening and that it’s only going on in their mind. But I’m talking about a higher level of perception. That level of perception is first understanding that how we experience things is in our mind, not just happening around us or to us…we are processing what has happened. So if we are processing what is going on then, then we can decide how we want to experience that event. We can decide what story we’re going to tell about that event first in our mind which will make us happy, sad, angry, complacent, or determined…and then we can process that story outwardly into the world on how we function in the world with that belief.  The story we tell, which are the emotion we associate to the story, will determine the places we decide to frequent because of that story.

The story of whether we are worthy to have what we want, the stories of our complaining about silly things and wondering why bad things always happen to us, the stories of sadness and endless struggle…and you see while bad things will physically happen…when we tell stories that don’t give us hope, that don’t inspire us, that don’t see the love and beauty within ourselves and in the world…then we stay stuck in a story we don’t want to be in.

You are in control at every moment on how you decide to experience an event or situation. So if you see the negative and what you don’t want it’s easier to get trapped there. But if you decide to see something more beautiful, if you decide to see the solution instead of just the problem, if you decide to find the grain of hope in the moment—then the story you tell changes, which will change your life, and which you… will change the world around you as well.  You may think it’s just your perception that changed, but it’s more than that. You were able to see something more in the moment, and you were able to change the energy you brought to that moment which then changed the moment’s energy as well. So are you going to let the moment define you…or will you define your moments…are you going to be just a character in your play, or will you be the author and write a better ending to the moments that haven’t gone your way just yet?

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What endings have upset you in your life? Think about the times that you might have given up too early and decided something wasn’t possible. I’m not saying to change things that are impossible such as trying to win someone back who is gone, sure anything can happen, but I’m looking at the bigger picture. So if you were to look at a failed relationship…instead of looking at getting that exact person back what if you were to change the ending by working on loving yourself first. That way you could attract the right person, and this time when the issues that split up previous relationships happen you can deal with them differently this time.  For me most of my relationships ended because of a lack of communication, I was afraid of expressing certain things, and the fears I held were that I wouldn’t be good enough and they wouldn’t be able to love me for forever. Which gave me ammunition to my subconscious to purposefully sabotage the relationship.

So write down the endings that you didn’t like, and after you do that write…down how you can change the ending this time around. As I said you may not change the past situation, but you can change the current road to succeed in that next situation. We go through many of the same situations just at different times. So if we were to take that relationship example, just because one relationship ended doesn’t mean your story is over in relationships…it just means you are getting prepared to be better in the next relationship this time, and you are giving time for someone else to get prepared for you. That’s if you decide to tell a better story of hope and self-growth instead of self-pity and anger.

I Decide How My Story Ends

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Thoughtful Thursdays-#278 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Admire Beauty…Especially My Own

There’s a quote that says, “Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.” We use comparing as a tool of measurement, and at times we utilize that tool incorrectly. We look to compare our success to another’s. We look to compare our beauty to another’s. We look to compare our worth to another’s.

What we’ve forgotten is that comparison is a measuring tool to contrast similar things. Every person has a different opinion on the value of something, and so if we were to use comparison less to contrast value in humans and use it more to find our uniquenesses…then a different outcome would happen.  We would stop judging people on our perceived worth of who we think they should be, or what we think we can get from them, and we begin to look for importance and significance in them as human beings. No matter what we do, or who we are… we are all equally worthy. Even despite all our sins and so-called shortcomings.

I was recently volunteering at a benefit. It was being held at a night venue that usually hold concerts. I stepped outside to take a break while everyone was inside eating. The only thing outside besides me was a few other volunteers and the outdoor bar. A gentleman was meandering around the outside perimeters fence of the property. I watched him look in and decide to come in through the open gate. I stepped up to the registration table, as I wanted to support the two females who were manning the table, as he definitely looked like he wasn’t going to be an attendee. He looked to be a homeless man. And as he got to the table, I could smell the liquor on his breath and that he hadn’t bathed in awhile.

I asked him how he was doing, all while he scanned his surroundings as if looking for something else I couldn’t provide him with. I worked to engage him in more conversation and continue to make eye as I wanted to respect the man, and not upset him because I was pretty sure that he wouldn’t be attending this event. I shook his hand, and told him my name and asked him his…He told me it was Chico and then he asked me for money. I said I didn’t have any as this was a charity event, and you needed a ticket to attend, which I thought might get my point across about it being a private event. So he then asked how much tickets were and even after saying $150 that didn’t faze him whatsoever either.

I was a little nervous because I didn’t want to be rude and kick him out of the outside premises just yet as he wasn’t causing any trouble but he kept inching in closer from the outdoor patio-ish area. The reason I say patio-ish area is because the outside areas has this fake astro turf on half of it…It really looks neat outside. I wasn’t sure his intentions yet, besides looking for a handout, so I wanted to keep his focus on me and not escalate the situation any more than it was.

He tried to yell at a few people who had mingled to the outside bar. He would yell, “hey buddy” like they were all old pals to anyone who was walking out. I placed my body in between his path towards the doors as I walked with him to the outdoor bar, so we could get him a water, and then he began chatting with some more of the attendees.

I felt bad about what I did next, as I don’t ever want to disrespect someone or be rude to them, but I knew my mission at the moment was to make sure the charity event was a success for the attendees and the charity itself.

And so right before he could yell at another attendee I cut him off and said, “Chico, this is a private event and I’m going to ask you to leave. I’m sorry”

I walked him back out, as he said begrudgingly to me… “I wasn’t going to ask him for money.” And I said as kindly as I could, “I know Chico, it was a pleasure to meet you and I hope you have a great night.”

The reason I bring this story up, is while I could have kicked him out right away for being a homeless man, I wanted to respect him. I wanted to talk with him as a person. I wanted him to know his worth no matter his place in life. We don’t know people’s situations and I know I’m not perfect, but I hope I try to understand people more and not compare my blessings in life against their hardships. I think about a study I read where at least 1/3 of homeless people have some sort of mental illness they deal with.

Everyone is struggling with their own demons. Yes, we need to protect ourselves and not just trust anyone who comes in our life, as not everyone is out for our best interests. So we should be on high conscious of what’s going on with people’s behaviors, but we should also work to be kind in the situation as well.

So maybe you won’t be kicking homeless people out of charity events and feeling bad about it, but maybe you might be talking with a co-worker who’s going through a divorce and you’re there for them because you decided to invest your attention and care during their tough time. Maybe you could say just one positive word to another person that totally turns their life around as they see someone cares about them. And maybe by not comparing yourself to anyone else and their situations…you ONLY share kindness wherever you go. And maybe that kindness will be returned when you are in need…Who knows. But when we admire the beauty in others without questioning our own, we find the confidence within ourselves to be who we truly are… and we help others to be themselves and to see their beauty as well.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
I have a friend who recently went on a date, and she talked about how the date went amazing because she wasn’t worried about how she looked, or any other flood of thoughts that usually happen in tearing herself apart during the date. She just decided to be present and enjoy this person’s company and focus on the great things about her and him.

What do you consistently criticize about yourself? We may do it so much…that it feels natural and we don’t even realize what we’re doing. Write down the criticisms you say about yourself, and then see how you can turn those criticism around. If you consistently apologize to other people about how you look, maybe you can stop saying those things and think kinder things about yourself. Maybe if you consistently worry about not being smart enough or being good enough at work, you could decide to stop thinking that and instead think about how you could contribute more which will help you to feel more confident about having more input. And maybe if you’re always focusing on how things don’t go your way, such as people won’t love you because your butt’s too big, or that you can’t earn the money you want because you don’t have the education you need, or that you don’t have enough time to do everything in your life that you wish to…and so you began telling a different story. One less of criticism about yourself, and one more of love for your place in life currently.

Now don’t get me wrong that I’m saying be complacent with your life and say there’s nothing I can do about where I am. What I am saying though… is to start from a place of love first, and then take action…It will be more powerful.

I Admire Beauty…Especially My Own

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Wisdom Wednesdays-#277 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Every Moment I Am Reborn

We have the chance to be who we want to be at any moment. We can turn around any mistake, we can choose to not let the past dictate who we are. The past only decided who we were…the present decides who we are.

I posted something on social media about my struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts from feeling unworthy because I couldn’t find my purpose when I was younger. I came to the conclusion that if God couldn’t tell my purpose then I must have no purpose. And living with that belief really messed with my head, my self-confidence, and my feeling of worth in this world.

A good friend of mine commented on that post and said that, “none of us really know what our purpose is until we let go and let God take over. That it’s never in our time, it’s all in His time… that it will be revealed.” And while I see what he is saying, and I do agree with him…I also disagree a little bit.

I think our purpose is found on OUR time because in every moment we have a purpose. We think a purpose has to be something huge, something grand to save the world with. And purposes CAN be that, but purposes start with every moment, and every action we take big or small. The smaller actions will eventually lead up to the bigger actions… we, at the moment, just don’t realize it yet.

So, when we know every moment is purposeful, that we have something to bring into that moment, no matter how small it is…then we are fulfilling our purpose. And like my friend who said, that God will reveal our grander purpose to us…I’ve come to find that it’s revealed when WE make the moments count, when we learn from the mistakes and failures we made in trying to find a better us in the moment, and when we are willing to love ourselves enough to continue forward even when we’re unsure of what the next piece of life has in store for us.

When you make every moment count, when you treat the small, so called inconsequential moments, as extraordinary moments…you are realizing what God has given to us. You are realizing that we don’t have to be at the top of the mountain every time to experience greatness…that there’s beauty in the valleys, in the climb, and at the top of it all. When we treat each moment with respect and care…we are reborn every moment…seeing the beauty in it for the first time, as no moment will ever be like the one you’re in right now. While it may feel like you have been here before, I can guarantee when you look at every moment as a chance to be reborn in it’s beauty, to make a difference, to reach for a purpose in the small actions…then you will experience a fulfilling life.

In the small actions when I took notice on making them count…I became aware of the grand gifts, I became aware of the immensity of the moment within those smaller actions.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
How are you making your moments count? What small actions are you doing to build up to bigger actions? We think that when our time comes we’ll be ready, but if we aren’t working on building up the small wins continuously…then we won’t be ready for when the big moments arrive. Write down a list of the small things you can do to make the small moments count. Write down how you can make every moment count…and then begin applying at least one action every day for the next month.

Every Moment I Am Reborn

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Tag Me Tuesdays-# 276 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

What I Want Is Not A Saying, It’s a Belief.

When we say we need to do something…we are really saying I would like to but I won’t. I won’t put in the work, but I wish it were different. We aren’t passionate about words like: need, have to, must, ought to…those are forcing words…and our brain knows what we really mean when we say those words, that we’re trying to make ourselves do something we really don’t want to do, so it doesn’t put in the extra effort towards making those thoughts a reality, our brain keeps us right where we are.

I have an issue with business. I’m not the best business man. I don’t like keeping records or doing payroll. My personal training clients will hound me at the end of the month and say you haven’t sent me a bill. They are more worried about paying me than I am about getting paid. Part of it’s laziness, but also part of it is the belief I’ve told myself that I’m not good at business, and that I’m not good at marketing.

I’ve held onto that belief for years, and it still feels true to me. But I know the truth…and that truth is if I want to be better at business and marketing it’s about creating a new story of telling myself I can be good at it, and then creating habits and consistent actions that help me to become what I want.

We can state what we want until we are blue in the face, but until we make it a belief it will be hard to change. And how we make a want a belief is first to tell a different story about what we want and what we think we can have consistently. And then we must take action. A belief really is an action. It’s the thought process that I can have what I set my mind to, and I’m so sure of it that I’ll bring that thought into the physical world to make it real.

Look at successful entrepreneurs, authors, inventors, artists, or musicians…they didn’t just sit on their dreams…they created them. They put action to their beliefs and made it happen. And it wasn’t that they were confident 100% of the time, it was that they were willing to fail and keep moving forward and learning from their mistakes. So when you say you want something, how willing are you to make it a belief? How willing are you to begin putting action to it immediately to begin making it a reality?  It’s not that you have to have it all figured out, but it’s that you are willing to take a chance on yourself and commit to falling forward more and more.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What are some actions that you’ve been holding back on? Whether it be the fear of failing, the fear of looking foolish, maybe even the idea that it might not be worth it, or just the pure laziness of being in your comfort zone…how committed are you to making what you want for your life a reality? Write down the actions you want to take to better your life, and see how you can make it a reality. What you may find in this activity is that maybe you aren’t taking action because you have too many actions that are immobilizing you from moving forward…and maybe you just need to focus on 1 to 3 things at a time instead of 500.

What I Want Is Not A Saying, It’s a Belief.

Mindful Mondays-# 275 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

The only thing I give up…is what no longer serves me.

I usually say that we never let go of anything… but instead we decide to pivot from what we focus on. I think of the mind like a filing system or computer. If you’ve ever defragged your computer, what that does—is rearranges the way your computer accesses your files. So think of it like this, you access a program or file, and it gets placed in another spot that isn’t as efficient which slows down the computer the next time it tries to find that file. Now techies if I got this example wrong… don’t crucify… just leave me a comment on how better to explain the process…but for all my novices out there you get the picture.

I believe we never really let go of things, we just decide to put our attention onto other things. So if we continually focus on what’s wrong, what can go wrong, or why our life is in shambles…well, you are creating habits for your brain and subconscious to continually go those places of uncertainty or dissatisfaction. But if you create a different reality, to see the brighter parts of life, to not just see a problem but to begin working on a solution instead of feeling discomfort from the issue, or to know that any problem is temporary…then you are creating pathways in your brain. You are creating a whole different set of rules for your filing system.

So while I said in the affirmation I give up what no longer serves me… I’m really saying that I put my extreme focus on what serves me. What in your life no longer serves you? What are the old patterns of thoughts that have kept you trapped in the same negative loop? Is it the idea that you’re too old and you can’t change your course, is it the thought that you don’t have enough money or never could make enough to do what you really want to do with your life, or is it the idea that you aren’t worthy of finding someone who will love you like you deserve and you then sabotage all your relationships?

Even if you’ve made those thoughts or other negative thoughts your story…you can still change any time. It takes work I won’t lie to you, but it will be worth the effort. You are worth the effort, and if it’s worth it…wouldn’t you be willing to go to the ends of the earth to make it happen?  I hope so.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
Make a list of the things that no longer serve you. Think about all the areas of your life such as your job, your family, your relationships, your hobbies, your money, your spirituality, and anything else that’s a major section of your life…and write down the stories that no longer serve you. After you write down what story you’ve been telling that no longer serves you…write the story or action that will serve you…and then write down a plan of action on how you will make those actions a more regular part of your life.

The only thing I give up…is what no longer serves me.

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Smiling Sundays - #274 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Stopped Complaining Because I Saw How Taking Action Worked Better

We are our own worst enemy. We talk about how it’s too hot, and the next moment we’re talking about how it’s too cold. We can’t find any happy medium because we’ve had an easy life. I never heard my grandfather talking about whether it was too hot inside or outside…he just got done what needed to be done without complaining.

I know it can be easy to confuse the ideas behind complaining or talking out a problem. Talking out a problem means you’re going to do something about it, but complaining means expressing our discomforts. And maybe this is where I’m showing my age… you know how your grandparents or parents would talk about how each generation is getting worse and worse…well that’s where I am now.

Think about how easy our lives have become and we complain about the difficulty of the ease of our lives now. If you think about the great advances we’ve had just within our homes where we don’t have to go anywhere to get our normal chores done. We don’t have to go to the local river to wash our clothes—we throw them in the wash machine, we don’t have to go outside to hang them to dry on a clothesline—we put them in a dryer, we don’t have to go outside and dig a hole to use the bathroom—we have running water and inhouse plumbing.

If you think about it we used to wash dishes at the sink one by one, but we got dishwashers and were so excited that we could wash them all at once…but now we complain how we have to load them and unload them. If you think about media we have so many options now-a-days with cable, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Red Box…YouTube, the internet, podcasts, online books, or audio books…and we talk about how there’s nothing on or nothing to do.

We’ve been handed so many things that we’ve regressed in our comfort levels. The easier things get…then the more we complain because it’s only natural to get comfortable in our ways and wish for something better.

And so I challenge you to not speak your discomforts so readily…not because you shouldn’t work on things that make you feel uncomfortable…but because it weakens you. When you focus on what you hate you attract more of it, and you create more annoyance and discomfort looking at what you don’t like. What if you were instead to look at the blessings you have?

As we’ve become a fake society…and what I mean by fake is we are a society that no longer moves…we sit all day at our jobs, we get home and sit all night at the table and then our TVs…and finally to lay in our beds and then do it all over again.  We’ve forgotten what industriousness feels like by not moving our bodies. We have a minor annoyance and so we look for a gadget to solve our problems rather than figuring out a solution on our own. And we’ve forgotten what it’s like to truly connect as we’re so engrained with our technology that even when we’re out in public we have our noses buried in our phones.

This is not a rant, but it’s an awakening call, that when we focus on our discomforts…we make them a priority. We give them too much attention, and before you know it you are talking about them, thinking about them, and even creating more of them.  So let us complain less, and let’s find the beauty in what’s infront of us. Let’s get our bodies moving more. I know when I’m moving my body, it moves my mind, which floods my body with the hormones of dopamine and serotonin which help us to feel better. And when I feel better… I don’t have time for annoyances.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
The next time you feel yourself ready to complain…ask yourself how you can see the brighter side of things, or how you can take action rather than merely stating a discomfort. I’m not saying we can’t talk about the things that bother us…just as long as we plan on doing something about it. Usually we complain about things we have no control over, or we complain to people who can’t help us. Meaning if you have a problem with your wife, don’t complain to your co-workers about her…talk to her. If you have a problem with a family member have a conversation with them…not someone who can’t help the situation. Let’s take a more proactive approach to talking about things we can control….and then taking action instead of complaining.

I stopped complaining because I saw how taking action worked better

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

September 30th- #273 Synergy Saturday The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

My Smile is Infectious

There have been many studies on what happens when we smile. Before I get into smiles let me talk about posture and body movements. Amy Cuddy did a Ted talk on the effects of posture and what happens in our bodies. And she found when we were in something called power poses our testosterone would increase (and testosterone is thought as the hormone of confidence) and our cortisol levels would lower (and cortisol is also called the stress hormone). So by being in these better postures our testosterone would rise which is good, and our cortisol levels would lower which is good as well.

We know that changing our thinking can change the chemistry in our bodies and in Dr. Cuddy’s study she was able to prove that our posture also can physically change the chemicals in our bodies. Which brings me to think if our posture can change the physical chemistry in our bodies and make us feel less stressed and more confident…wouldn’t smiles do that as well?  Let me do a test on you… pay close attention to your facial expressions and take notice of what it feels like right now…

Ok, are you mindful about your body right now??? Did you notice whether your mouth was drooping in a frown, straight or slightly curved up…were your forehead, eyes, cheeks, neck or any other part of your body tensed…does anything feel nice and relaxed? That’s the funny thing about our bodies we usually aren’t aware of what’s happening until we have some context to it.

Ok after you have taken notice of your body feelings and postures I want you to think about something that you truly love, and picture what that is in your head right now…

What happened to your face, what were you feeling in your body, what thoughts and feelings did you have associated with that thought?

Ok let’s try this again…reset your body and mind… I want you to think about a slew of the cutest puppies you’ve ever seen running, chasing, and playing with each other as you are positioned directly under the prettiest rainbow you’ve ever seen while sitting upon your own personal unicorn.

Ok maybe that was the most ridiculous thing I could think of… but did it make you smile?  What happened? How were you feeling?  Did you feel lighter, did your stress levels seem to lower?

That’s the interesting thing about smiles, it’s been shown that even when we fake a smile we reduce our stress levels and find ourselves happier… so even if you didn’t laugh…at least fake a smile for me…for my sake….

When we smile we create a reward system for our brain. We are smiling when something happens that makes us happy, that makes us laugh, that makes us feel good. So when we smile the physical signal is being sent to our brain that something great just happened. And what the brain does is flood your body with those good feeling hormones and endorphins to reward you for doing that action that it’s linked with great things.

A study from Penn State University discovered that people who smile more appear to be more likable, courteous, and competent. And we have something in us called mirror neurons…things that will mimic what other people do (you know… how we yawn when someone else does, or look at our watch when someone else does, or even how we may cross our legs to mirror a position as someone across from us that we’re talking to is doing)…so when we smile other people can’t help but want to smile back…as long as it looks genuine and not fake. And so if more people smile a chain reaction happens where people begin to feel better.

But you may ask, if we have the tendency to mimic what other people can be doing…what if people are frowning? Well a study done by Uppsala University in Sweden discovered that frowning when looking at a person who is smiling can be achieved…but it’s very hard to continue frowning.

When we think happy thoughts, our body will understand that emotion and create actions that happen when we feel happy… thus smiling for example. So it’s a two way communication street with the body and brain through something called neuronal pathways…our body will tell the brain we’re happy by doing things such as smiling or feeling lighter and less stressed in our muscles, and our brain will communicate back flooding us with endorphins and happiness hormones such as testosterone, dopamine and serotonin or telling our body to smile or do things that it associates with happiness postures or movements. That’s why it is pertinent to continually keep working to find better thoughts to be happy about, not just waiting for something good to happen to you. Or it’s pertinent to mimic smiling or postures that make us feel happier and more confident as they both help us to become happier when we don’t necessarily feel so. We control our happiness not the other way around.

So if you’re having trouble thinking happy thoughts, then practice the physical postures that happen when you feel confident and happy. Or vice versa

Let’s try a physical activity right now… grab a pencil or pen.  Sit up or stand up straight. Elongate your spine. Think about if there was a string from the top of your head to your butt and you place your hand above your head like you are a marionette puppet with all those strings… pull your hand up as you pull on that invisible string like a puppeteer would to have yourself elongate your spine as you sit up or stand up straight.

Have your head looking straight ahead—don’t droop your head, keep your eyes focused forward—not looking up or down but straight ahead at eye level, pull your shoulders down and back and open your chest as you puff it out a bit. Relax your forehead, your cheeks, your lips, your neck and feel all the tension ease out of your body… and now smile just a little bit, curl your lips up slightly…

• Notice how your body feels
• Notice what happens to your mind and what you’re thinking about…

Ok smile a little bigger now…don’t open your mouth just yet, but sit there for a moment smiling bigger… and feel how that feels. See if there are any changes.

Ok, now grab that pen or pencil I asked you to get at the beginning of this exercise and put it inbetween your teeth as both corners of your mouth touch the pen or pencil as you bite down on it softly.

Ok…now smile big so that your lips don’t touch any of the pencil anymore and hold that smile for 1 minute… I’m going to play some music for you now to know when a minute has passed (play music). In the studies I’ve read they had people doing it for two minutes…but I want you to try it for at least one minute.

Ok, you can now take out the pen or pencil. How did it feel, how does your body feel right now, how does your mind feel? What thoughts are in your mind right now besides a judgement on the experiment and how weird it felt to be smiling with a pen or pencil in your mouth?

An article from Psychological Science referenced how “when we smile during brief periods of stress we actually help our stress levels, regardless of whether we feel happy or not.”

So when we smile we feel better, we reward our brain which then rewards our body, we actually help other people to smile when we smile, and the best part about smiling besides feeling great of course is that you look more attractive when you smile. So smile more purposefully, even if you may not feel like it...because it will change the situation from a stressed one…to one that feels better. And the more you do that, then the more you’ll have found the secret to happiness…being happy for no reason at all…and being happy for every reason what so ever. Because in every moment happiness is a choice. 

How will you choose to be in this moment? I hope happy, and if you’re having trouble finding the thoughts to feel good… or if thoughts about the cutest playing puppies you’ve ever seen while under your rainbow on your own personal flying unicorn don’t seem to make you happy either …then just smile… I know it can do wonders for you :-D

Today’s Personal Commitment:
Do the pencil smile activity today, especially if you didn’t do it. Make it a habit in your morning hygiene ritual to do that every morning for at least a minute for a week and see what happens to how you are feeling when starting your day.

My Smile is Infectious

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide
-cdk - Sunday by cdk (c) copyright 2016 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0)