The Strong Within Affirmation Podcast

Fantastic Fridays-#293 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Every Monkey Wrench Is Secretly A Blessing

I was on my daily walk, and there’s a runner that I see almost every day, and we always say hello and cheer one another on as we pass each other. Some days when I’m feeling energetic enough I will jog with him a few times around the outdoor loop. He’s such a kind individual, and on our talk the other day he told me that we all have gifts. Like how a smart person can open a book and get the concept of it right away, and he said “that’s not me…but I can look at any day and find the beauty in it. There’s something to be learned in every moment.”

I hadn’t seen him for a few weeks, and on our recent talk I asked him where he’d been, and he said he was healing up an injured hamstring. He said he could’ve been upset about the injury, but he saw it as an opportunity to work on other areas that he’s weak in.

And I think that’s what we do, we have expectations of performing how we did yesterday, and some people would look at a hamstring injury as putting a monkey wrench in their plans…but he found a way to see the beauty in it.

He’s one of those individuals who lives a different life. He doesn’t own a cell phone and doesn’t use a lot of technology. He has lived a full life as he has owned multiple businesses, and is now retired at a young age from that, and only does day trading now.

As we continued to jog, he went on to tell me how the days will fly by so quickly, that him and his wife have a joke about it… as they’ll say, “it’s Friday already where did the time go, and then the next day they will say it’s Saturday…where did the time go?”

Further into our conversation he said there’s a lot of time in the day to do the things we want. He didn’t even bat an eyelash when he said this to me… “I ran 30 miles in 3 hours and 30 minutes yesterday. I could run 200 miles in a week if I just put in the time to do it…it’s amazing how much you can accomplish when you put your attention on what’s important to you…that there’s so much time in this life to do so many things.”

After he told me this I knew I was actually talking to superman. But he was on to something so profound and so simple…that what makes us come alive, if we put in the time we can do amazing things. The hours are going to pass us regardless, so where do you want to accumulate your hours? Do you want them to be on things that you despise and hate, or will you see the beauty in your day as you focus on what you truly like in the moment?

As he said earlier, that there are gifted people who can look at a book and decipher the message immediately, I told him that he can look at any situation and decipher the beauty within it…and I think that’s his super power. He doesn’t look at all the miles he has to run, he just finds a pretty trail or outdoor running loop and just enjoys his time on it.

We spend so much time in our lives thinking about where we don’t want to be, focusing on what we don’t want to be doing, and being upset at where we are…which then…we miss the beautiful place of where we truly are. My running friend told me how I’ve changed his life…and I was floored because I don’t do anything except wave to him and say some encouraging words from time to time when we chat…But the funny thing is his kindness does the same to me.

The people we stumble into upon the trails of our lives can change our lives if we allow them to. They help us to see a different view, they help us to step out of our shoes and see that there’s beauty in every moment…and that for every monkey wrench, there’s a lesson or chance that’s helping us to work on something else we are weaker in…until we heal and are ready to come back to what we’re strong in.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What monkey wrench has come into your life that you’ve seen as a curse…and how can you pivot and see it as a blessing? Get a pad of paper out and take a look at the hard things that have happened to you over the past 5 years…

• Write about how it affected at that time, and how you saw the event when it was happening. Write what you remember in going through it.
• Then write about how that event brought you to somewhere better. And if it didn’t bring you to a better place or you’re still struggling with it, then write how you would like to see it and how it could be the lesson and blessing that you need?

Every Monkey Wrench Is Secretly A Blessing

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Thoughtful Thursdays-#292 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Stand For Something Greater

I got into a Face Book argument about something stupid. I usually stay out of politics and sports on social media…but here in Tennessee the fans can be…what should I call it… passionate? And they can be rude or mean to not only the team but the coaching staff, and to anyone else who disagrees with them.

I’ll give you a little backstory on me. I played ice hockey in college, and once I was done playing I really stopped having interest in watching sports. Maybe it was because the dream was gone and I wasn’t going anywhere with sports, or maybe it could be I love naps more than watching a sports game.

And in Tennessee, especially Knoxville, most people are fans of the University here…also known as the Tennessee Volunteers. When the team isn’t doing well, you see all these posts on social media how the coach should be fired or how the team is so bad. And for me it really gets tiring because we treat people like they have no value. We degrade them and say that’s what they get for being in the spotlight by being an athlete in a big college, or for coaches… as they say “that’s what they signed on for when they accepted those millions of dollars in their contract.”

And it really is disheartening how we can talk so callous about people just because they aren’t winning. We think it gives us a right to tear people apart and criticize them because we are so called true fans. And so a friend of mine posted an article that was asking about if the coach here should be fired. So I made a reply by saying I hated Tennessee fans by how fickle, mean, and rude they can be and then I asked, “what happened to building great character in young minds… as now all we seem to care about is winning.”

And the flood gates were open season on me with one person as he took offense to what I said as if I was personally talking about him. I usually don’t like confrontations, but I saw this as an opportunity to have a discussion to state our points but also not attack the other person for their opinions.

After this person called me a hypocrite… I didn’t have to apologize but I wanted to be kind and apologized to him and said that I didn’t mean to offend him from my first comment as it wasn’t about anyone in particular in fact my comment was really about any sports team that has aggressive and mean fans whether it be professionally or college. I dislike how hateful they can be. 

I think I got so engaged in this conversation because of something this person said after my first comment.  I’ll quote it here verbatim “College football is a business dude, so nobody gives 2 shits about developing "great character in young minds" if the cost of that is mediocrity (at best) on an annual basis…”

And what he said really made me sad… and so I called him out on it and said oh…so you don’t care about the players then? And he responded “that’s not my opinion, that’s just how everyone else is, they know it’s a business.” But you can’t make a comment like that and exit yourself out of the situation talking about the reality of college sports…because it’s not an US vs. Them argument…it is an “all of us” statement. If everyone else is like that, and we go along and buy into it…then it’s all of us. We all are the bad guys then. And we TRY to make ourselves feel better by separating ourselves from the argument saying that’s them…not me.

I went on to talk about how some of the greatest coaches in the industry, and my personal coaches who made a difference in my life, didn’t focus on winning. They focused on building up the character of players. I played for coaches who only focused on winning, and I played for coaches who focused on me as an individual…and I became a better person from the coaches who cared about me...  I became a better individual because of the ones who steered me away from focusing ONLY on winning into focusing on building up the character of myself.

In our social media discussion I went on to say that, “if we’re only in the business of winning... then we’ve already lost. And that I understood his position…that you may think we have the same ideas here but they are completely different. You are so focused about winning above all costs…and I get it most people think that way, but it’s a flawed premise…where I’m focused on people giving their best always… whether they win or lose. I’ve spent years chasing things that I thought would make me happy…chasing after the milestone, the destination, or the goal…and was left feeling empty because the goal or winning that goal wasn’t the end result. It was the journey of me working to give my best in every moment. We live in a society that rewards winners…but the true winners are not those with the trophies, the true winners are the ones failing over and over and getting back up.

We look at people and see them fail and call them bums, we love to ridicule or laugh at people for losing…maybe because it makes us feel like winners…but in the end it discourages those people and it may keep them down…but what if we were to encourage individuals, and to really care about them as people instead of winners. Yes, some people will thrive on the ridicule… as Michael Jordan talked about all his critics gave him fuel to prove them wrong…but some people may not be that strong…some people will need people encouraging them as they fail. I know I need that in my life, and I’m grateful I had coaches, parents, and friends who gave that to me…even through all the times people laughed at me during my failures.

I know my ideas on winning aren’t the most popular as I want every team to tie. I want every team to be a winner. I want every game to be a hard fought game for both sides, and I want the individuals to feel great about what they’re doing as human beings...whether they are coaches or players on winning or losing teams. I’ve spent too much of my life being in competition.

So I’m not telling you how to root for sports or for your teams…but what I’m asking of you is to take a little more thought on how you talk about people when they fail or lose, how you talk about people you don’t even know, and how angry you might get at something that you aren’t even truly a part of…we call them our teams when they’re winning, and then we call them bums and want to distance ourselves as much as possible from them when they’re losing. How we speak is who we become, and I understand for some people sports is their escape from life…I’ve had my own distractions to keep me disengaged from my life… I get it…but let us not escape to this arena to tear others down, let us enjoy the games and not let it ruin our days whatever the outcome is. Your life is more than the total score between two teams at the end of the day.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What are you passionate about, and is it something that makes you better? It’s good to have things that make life more bearable, it’s great to have things that we can be excited about…but does it build you and others up…or does it divide you? How do you cheer others on? Do you see them as people first…and then as athletes, celebrities, musicians, politicians, or business owners? We spend so much of our time thinking we are separate, that we would never mistakes like they did, and then judging others for their mistakes…instead of loving people thru their mistakes.

So today take notice on negative things you say about other people. Turn on the news and watch all the negativity that’s happening in the world…see all the war and terrorist activity, criminals, thieves, people suffering, athletes and celebrities making mistakes…and instead of judging them right away…what if you were to find compassion for them first. I’m not saying be ok with the bad things they’ve done, but what if you were to try to see it from their side and understand them as a person…and still love them through their mistakes? I know we all need a little more compassion for our mistakes, so let us be the change first that’s so desperately needed

If we are only in the business of winning... then we’ve already lost.
Let’s develop character above money,
faith above fear,
and love over hatred…
as we are each other’s keepers.

I Stand For Something Greater

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Wisdom Wednesdays-#291 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I’m In Control

I am in control of myself, it’s all I control so I don’t focus on controlling things or other people. I control my expectations, I control my work ethic, I control my perception, and I control keeping myself in control.

If we’re not careful we allow inanimate objects, ideas, or things to control us. We use language that takes the responsibility away from us and puts it somewhere else. Yes, we do this to protect ourselves from not feeling bad about making wrong choices, but it is a dangerous and slippery slope to proceed upon. We use words like it’s not my fault they made me do it, I can’t help myself it’s just the way I am, or they make me so sad, angry, upset, feel so helpless, happy, or any other emotion you can add in here.

I’m not saying that we cannot get mad, or happy for that matter, from someone’s actions…but in essence they DON’T make us feel a certain way…we process how we want to feel about it. They will do a certain action and then we will decide how we want to think about it which will then create an emotion associated to that thought. We think that emotions just happen, but Stephen Covey the Author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People…stated that even though an emotion seems instantaneously…there’s a window…no matter how small it might be of where choice is chosen. It seems so instantaneously that we think it just happens. And by thinking this way we are become robots in our decision-making process.

We put the blame elsewhere for the negative things…and then we become helpless to feel the great things in life as we wait for someone or something else to MAKE me happy. But in the end no one or no thing MADE us happy or sad. They created an action, event, or certain type of environment…and then WE decided how we wanted to feel about it. When you begin to truly understand this, not just in your mind but consciously in your actions as well…you will have more freedom in your life.

The greatest prisons are not from the people or things around us, they have not put us into anything…the greatest prisons come from the ideas we have made about who’s in control of our lives. No one controls your thoughts…except you. And the more you take ownership for your thoughts and your emotions then the easier your life will be.  The less you will put blame on something else, and the more you will take ownership of the direction of your life.

You are in control of how you think and the emotions you put to those thoughts…so if you aren’t liking how you feel, or you’re not liking the outcomes that are happening in your life… begin to analyze how you think and see how you can associate different meanings to the things that are keeping you imprisoned.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
Look at something that has upset you, something that you might have blamed on someone or something else…and how can you recreate the events to think about it differently? What thoughts would you say now, instead of putting the blame on someone or something else? Write down the thoughts that put you in control of your emotions, and write down the responses and feelings you would rather have…as opposed to the ones you had or currently have that don’t make you feel in control. And one question I like to ask myself, and my students about our emotions…are you reacting???or are you responding? When we respond we choose more wisely, rather than reacting haphazardly. Yes reacting could be said it done out of instinct…but you can respond with instinct too.

I’m In Control

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Tag Me Tuesdays-#290 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Want What’s Best For Both Of Us

When we get hurt it’s easy to wish for the other person to understand what we’re going through. There was a study that was done with two rats in a cage, and the floor would be electrically charged, and they found that one rat would bite the other rat to help alleviate the stress it was feeling. And sometimes as humans we lash out at people who have caused the pain, and sometimes we lash out at innocent bystanders so we can alleviate our stresses. While it helps to release the stress, it’s only temporary because it wasn’t about solving the stress, it was just about containing or bottling it up for the moment.

In situations of extreme stress it can be easy to want to be right, to prove something to the other person, but it’s really about helping both parties win if at all possible. This is not about putting blame on anyone, as that doesn’t really solve the problem, it just diverts and delays real solutions. For in every issue, no one is 100% blameless and no one is 100% at fault either. And when we remember this we take ownership of ourselves in the situation healthfully.

I think about relationships when they go wrong and how we can be so angry and want people to know what we’re feeling. We want them to understand, we want them to care, and we want a solution to the problem…but sometimes we want the wrong solution as it’s not about healing but just getting back what we’ve lost…and so we compromise never really dealing with the best answer.

So the next time you are in a hard situation, whether it be a breakup, a big fight, or something that is extremely stressful between you and your partner, I hope these words will become yours and they’ll not only put good energy out to the other person…but they’ll comfort you in your time of need as well.

When I wish for your pain because I want you to feel mine… I imprison myself. But when I wish for your happiness, I then also wish for mine too. So I want what’s best for both of us, not what will make me feel better temporarily. I don’t want you to go through pain, it’s my hope that you unlock your door from your own self prison and that you feel joy, hope, and peace again. That you feel love…not just for something outside of yourself…but to truly know love within your heart.

I wish for you to heal, I wish for you to be whole… I wish for all the wonderful things that you deserve…because it will not only heal you…but it will heal me. I’m tired of wishing you to miss me, I’m tired of wanting you to hurt and remember me. I’m tired of living in fear and regret…and so I send out only love in hopes that you hear it and love yourself…as I wish what’s best for both of us… I don’t want to be locked in my own prison, and I don’t want you to be locked in your own prison either…I want what is best for both of us. I want you to love yourself, as I will love myself through this process…and I’ll be sending good energy your way so that we both heal in the best way possible.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What relationship are you having a hard time with? It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship, it doesn’t even have to be someone close to you like a family member. It could be a friend, a boss, or an acquaintance that things are stressful between you two. Instead of chalking it up to that person being a jerk, stupid, or any other negative term you can say about them…what if you just put out good energy towards them. What if you wished the best for them regardless of what’s going on. That way you won’t be imprisoning yourself wishing for them to get what’s coming to them for putting you through this, and you won’t be imprisoning yourself as you put the stressful issue and thought on repeat in your head. You’ll just be wishing the best for them…which in turn will wish the best for you too. 

So think about a tough situation right now that you feel stuck in, and see how you can change your energy about what you are focusing on…and then see how it changes the situation. Yes, maybe you may not see a change in the other person, but that’s ok…this is not about you changing them. This is about changing you…which will change everything. It’s about learning how to always find the win-win mentality.

I Want What’s Best For Both Of Us

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Mindful Mondays-#289 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Always Show My Hand

In poker you aren’t supposed to show your hand. They say good players don’t need good cards as it’s more about playing the man rather than playing the cards. It’s a game of patience and psychology on learning as much as you can about the other player and their tells… or in other terms the ticks, the habits, or other gestures and things said that give you clues about what they’re holding.

And in our lives we don’t need to hold our cards to our chest covering them in secret. For we don’t try to project something we’re not. We are so aligned with our values, and we display them with such a high integrity that we want people to know who we are by our actions. We want people to not just know our tells, but we want our souls to be shown in our every action, in every word we speak, and within all of our thoughts.

Our values mean more when they are more than words pinned to our cork boards in our office…they must be worn upon our sleeves, they must be etched within our hearts, and they must be the essence of our souls. So let us show our hand every time, let us show people who we are without even having to try…because it is in everything we are…and we aren’t trying to hide who we are from anyone. We want them to see us… all of us.

So let us not hide anything about who we are. Being better is a 24 hour 7 day a week thing. But don’t feel exhausted thinking you have to be reaching for more than you can, know that when you align yourself with your values that it happens naturally. You don’t settle for mediocre, you don’t settle for second place in your life, and you allow yourself to be happy. They say integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching, so we will align with our values, we will hold them to the highest integrity in our every action…whether or not…someone is watching us.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What are your values? What is your instruction manual on how to operate your life no matter the circumstances? What are the things you hold to the highest integrity and want to display in your every action and your every word? Write down what your values are, and what living with the highest integrity to these values would mean…and then ask yourself if you are living up to those standards. And if you aren’t, then what do you have to do to get closer to being more in alignment with being one with your values?

When we live in our values life becomes easier, not because things get easier, in fact you’ll find that you’ll have to do harder things in your life, but you will know who you are and you will know how to act… and that’s a reassuring feeling to know who you are.

I Always Show My Hand

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Smiling Sundays - #288 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Only Hear What’s In Front Of Me

There’s always going to be someone who will work to tear you down. There will always be one heckler who will find something to make fun of you about. There will always be people who focus on your failures rather than your successes. And there will always be people who won’t offer a hand to help you up in your failure but work to keep you down in them.

I grew up worrying about what people thought, that if I could be good enough for them to like me, then I could love myself…but in that pursuit what it did was to teach me negative habits. It taught me that I had to work for approval, rather than being a judge of my own character.

Some people seem to be better at having thick skin, that whatever anyone says about them doesn’t faze them. And I’m sure it’s not that they’re immune to other’s criticisms, but it’s that they’ve come to know themselves and their worth. For those who criticize others really are only criticizing themselves. They feel it’s easier to break something down than it is to build something up.

And that’s where we must be vigilant in our growth. We must be vigilant in loving ourselves enough to know that our mistakes won’t define us… but how we handle our mistakes will. Will we fall down and let that define us, will we let people tell us whether we’re good enough or not, or will we fall 7 times and get back up eight. Most of the critics are the ones who didn’t have the courage to get in the arena anyways… Which gets me thinking about a quote Teddy Roosevelt said:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

So people will talk about you, people will laugh at you, people will do what they can to keep you from moving forward. But it has nothing to do with you, it is all about them and their insecurity to tear down things they don’t understand, and it is their defense mechanism for them to feel safe about their place in life. So let them talk, let them make fun of you, let them try to destroy you… it just means that you are resonating with something bigger than yourself, as those who have grown have always met a resisting force…and those people of resistance will be building you into a better person. Not because of their watered-down analyses…but because of you fortifying your efforts, you are building stronger walls in your work, and you taking a stand to become better.

It’s easy to talk about growing and being what you want. But it’s another thing to move towards it. It’s another thing to be willing to fall and fail and be laughed at and continue anyways. So keep reaching for more, keep asking how you can advance, and keep knowing that those who will talk and try to tear you down…are the ones who are struggling. They are the ones making you stronger… let them talk, let them continue their path of stagnation…it’s not your journey to change everyone. It’s your job to change yourself and allow the others who truly can see come with you. You aren’t meant to change the world, you are meant to change your corner of the world. So only hear what’s in front of you, only hear the voices you need to hear, and keep moving forward valiantly into the mistakes that you will correct into great triumphs.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
Take an internal inventory and ask yourself if you are allowing other people’s opinions to influence you. Yes, I know we don’t live in a vacuum and so we will be influenced one way or another. Someone will recommend a movie to us or tell us a great place to eat, but are you being influenced negatively by worrying about what others will think about you? Do you feel nervousness in your stomach if you don’t perform how you think others want you to? Are you not being your most authentic self because you’are worried people won’t accept you for stating or being who you are?

Ask yourself, are my actions and my words in alignment with the person I want to be? Do I hold the highest integrity in sharing my values with people around me?

And Am I comfortable being who I truly am around not only the people who love me, but also the people who only know me through my actions? Today it’s not that you ignore other people’s opinions, but what if you were to say, “while they have their opinions about who I should be, I will not let that misdirect me from who I am wanting to be.” Who’s directing your life—is it the opinions of others, or are you the judge of your own character?

I Only Hear What’s In Front Of Me

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Synergy Saturdays-#287 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

Life is ALWAYS beautiful

Even in your darkest days…there is still light. There is still that glimmer…no matter how far it is…it is that inkling of hope that something more is out there. And I think that’s why despair, depression, or utter hopelessness can be so draining…as it keeps our attention on what feels like eternal darkness instead of seeing the light that’s around us.

A great life is not given to you…a great life is taken and experienced by choosing to see the beautiful in what’s happening. A great life is worked for…but not as you would think…it’s not about the money you make or the good deeds you do…maybe those might help but it’s about working to be present in the moment because there is ALWAYS something beautiful happening.

We get caught in our own little sphere or bubble and see the world only through our eyes…and when we do this, of course we’ll feel bad when bad things happen to us…but if we expand that bubble to understand we are part of something bigger than just ourselves…even when bad things might be in front of us…other people are experiencing good things…and if we can become aware of this even during our harder times, then we can rejoice in their successes…we can truly be happy for others no matter what because success and happiness will come back to you too.

Problems don’t have to be permanent...in fact problems are only temporary…the only thing that’s constant is that something beautiful is always happening…it’s just whether you’ll decide to take part in seeing this truth…or whether you’ll decide to remain seeing the short sidedness of life…and be stuck in your bubble of depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and worry because of your focusing on darkness instead of seeing that light. Because no matter how far off that light is… it will get closer if you decide to move towards it, instead of staying stagnant in your self-pity or focusing upon what’s wrong instead of seeing what’s right…and that’s the only way change happens…by walking towards your lights.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
Think about a time when you felt like it was the end of the world…but sometime down the line you got over it and found your life was better because of that problem. When we step back to get more context towards a problem we’ll see it not as life ending, but just another process of life. For every ending is actually a new beginning. So after thinking about that huge problem you went through, talk this out to yourself and say when another problem like this happens, this is how I will remember to have better perspective and learn my lesson quicker this time.

Let’s not shield ourselves from the pain, but choose to learn from it, so we can continually stay within the beauty of life.

Life is ALWAYS beautiful

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Fantastic Fridays-#286 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Pivot from Anxiety Into More Faith, Love, Hope And Action.

Disclaimer, I am not a doctor, and I’m not claiming to be the answers for your ailments…but I do want to bring ideas of different possibilities for your life. So do your own research and personal trials, and not just take my word for it.

The Bible has a few mentions about anxiety…but there’s one that is so beautifully written that I want to share it with you, so here’s the book in the New Testament of Matthew 25-34 from the New International Version Translation:

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 
26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 
27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 
29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 
30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 
31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 
32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 
34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Now I am not going to get into the old religious argument of who is worthy and who is not of being in God’s grace as the passage references pagans…but I want to get this idea in your head that that God is all providing, that the Universe is ever abundant, and when we let go of worry, when we pivot from focusing on fear, anxiety or worry…we begin to see the beauty of what we are gifted. How the simplicity of nature is clothed in what it needs, and the animals of this earth are fed what they need…so why should we be any different?

Anxiety happens by focusing on what we fear, and that is how it masters us. It tells us that change is scary…but pain comes from staying the same. Anxiety likes to divide us, it likes to lie by telling us that things will be bad, things will always stay this way, that it’s in control and we have no power over it, and that there’s no use in trying to overcome it.

And when we think this way we are giving power to inanimate objects. There is are sayings that people can use quite frequently of the devil made me do it, or the devil was tempting me. Now there might be a supreme being who is all evil…but in the end, devil or not…he can never make us do anything…we choose to do something. And we do the same by giving anxiety life and power saying it’s in control of us, and that we can’t do anything about it. So we take medication and raise our hands in the air as we feel helpless thinking there’s nothing that can be done.

What we have to realize is that anxiety is not a state of being, anxiety comes from the thoughts we focus on which then create emotions to those thoughts that are focused upon fear…which create the emotions in our body that make us believe that whatever we’re afraid of is true. So I’m not saying anxiety isn’t real, but what I am saying is that we create that anxiety by how we focus upon things…so if we’ve created it then we can uncreate it. And that happens by creating different habits and thoughts towards a more productive focus…such as focusing on faith, hope, love…and taking action in our thoughts by telling ourselves a better story than the one of fear or that I can do nothing about this fear.

What we focus on we become, and so the more we focus on anxiety…then the more we become it. Our mind and bodies are so interconnected that your brain will tell the body what you are experiencing is so real…that your body follows suit and gets itself worked up to protect you…in essence that emotion becomes a physical reaction in your body…it becomes a truth to your body. Think about when you laugh so hard how happy and free you feel, think about a time you thought about loving memories from family members and how your body felt warm, calm and light as you felt love all around and within you…and the same is true for anxiety.

So if you are feeling anxious there are many more ways to work on it than besides saying there is nothing I can do about it so I’ll just take an antidepressant or some sort of anxiety medication to deal with anxiety. Now I want you to really hear me…I am not saying medication is bad… I am saying the belief that medication is the ONLY answer…is.

Everyone’s different…for me dealing with anxiety or stresses I walk, write, and meditate every day and that’s helped focus me differently. I think it’s great to have external things help calm you down, and I talked with a client of mine that it’s good to have those physical things, but I also said what if you can’t go to the gym, what if you can’t get outside… and what I was trying to elude to is that the answer is in you and when you can learn how to deal with what some call ANTs… or also known as automatic negative thoughts. But we can change ANTs, by learning to program our thought processes and mind differently. Whether through professional help through cognitive therapy or on your own by learning to become aware of those negative thought patterns and then changing them. In fact that’s how I got over my depression and suicidal thoughts by learning to hear my inner dialogue and then working to change it.

So, what could be your ways of pivoting from anxiety into something better?

Is it practicing mindfulness and affirmations, is it daily exercise, is it yoga, is it getting outside in nature and getting more into appreciation, is it calling a friend up to talk about the beauties of life, is it finding hobbies or activities that remind you about how wonderful and amazing as your life is….and of course is it becoming more aware of your automatic negative thought patterns?

I think people have trouble getting over anxiety first from not dealing with the problems they fear that’s causing the anxiety…and then they avoid it by ignoring it...or they do things that help them avoid it that aren’t healthfully such as self medicating with alcohol, drugs, risky behaviors, or anything that will distract them for a moment…and when you ignore something, it doesn’t mean it goes away…it just comes back stronger because you have stuffed too many anxious events one by one together waiting for your inner jar to fill up until you can’t take it anymore.

I dated a gal in college who had a panic attack and I thought she was seriously dying… We got her to the ER and her parents later let me know she had them all the time…and I was kind of upset because no one ever told me about them and I was so worried about her and thought she was dying…

During my freshman year in college I didn’t have a car so when her attack happened I called my friend in a different building to come pick us up and take her to the ER. While we waited I had her breathe in a paper bag, I made sure she took deep breaths as I saw how quick and labored her breathing was, I said calming things to her to help her focus on good things rather than the fear she was feeling of dying, and I did whatever I could to help her focus on the realness of the situation rather than the fear in her mind…at the time I didn’t really know what was happening to her, but I knew I had to work to help her feel loved and calm in the moment so we could get her to the ER safely whatever it was that was happening to her.

I remember reading a book called the Survivors Club…and in this book each chapter talked about surviving some dangerous situation…and one chapter was on hypothermia… that if you were walking across ice and it broke and you fell in--you were to focus three things…they called it 1,10, and 1 hour. They said you had 1 minute to regulate yourself in the water. When people fall in the water, they either freak out and tire themselves out and drown… or they freak out and cause themselves to have heart attack and drown. After that minute you had 10 minutes to get out before your temperature would get too low and you go into shock. And the final step was you have an hour to be able to warm yourself up properly.

And when I read this book years later from that panic attack incident, I understood I was instinctively working a process to help her get to place that was safe mentally and physically. I was helping to calm her, to lower her heart rate, to lower her breathing frequency, and to help her mind get from racing and panicking into a calmer state. 

We got her to the ER and she was fine, but I know helping her focus on calmer things before we got her there helped the whole situation go much smoother than if she kept escalating her anxiety and panic during the process. Now people say you can’t die from a panic attack…but prolonged stress and anxiety can do much damage to your body over time creating less longevity and decreased enjoyment in life…that is unless you look at panic or anxiety as a roller coaster ride and enjoy that…but then that wouldn’t be a panic or anxiety attack…it might just be an adrenaline rush.

In The Harvard Health Letter it states that Several studies have shown that about a quarter of people with cardiovascular disease have some kind of anxiety problem and, in some cases, the anxiety seems to make the heart condition worse.

So how will you deal with your anxiety and fears today, will you throw your hands up in the air and say this is just who I am, or that I can’t control it. Or will you get in the driver’s seat of your life and begin not only telling a different story to your mind to calm you during your anxious times…but also doing healthy things along the way every day to help change you from feeling anxious into feeling confident you can handle whatever happens to you.

I truly believe the reason anxiety feels so persistent is because we only try to work on it when it happens, instead of doing the right things every day physically and mentally before it ever happens

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What are you trigger points? What makes you anxious or when do you feel certain issues that hinder your life. One way to become more aware of your trigger points is to keep a journal. So the next time you are feeling overly anxious, nervous, or bothered by something take a journal and write down:

The time it happened

What happened before the anxiety

Your emotional state

Where you were physically and who was around you (your surroundings or environment basically)

And any other notes you can think of

By doing this you are creating an awareness of what may be causing it, the patterns that are happening, and by seeing these things it will give you information on being more able to change the next time it happens.

I Pivot from Anxiety Into More Faith, Love, Hope And Action.

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Thoughtful Thursdays-#285 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Focus On What’s Useful

We have the tendency to look at what’s wrong first. To see a problem and try to figure it out, or maybe see a problem and decide there’s nothing that we can do about it.  I was watching a documentary that had an author by the name of Dan Harris in it. His book is called 10% Happier. He’s a strong proponent for meditation. He was a reporter and was having panic and anxiety attacks on live TV and so he began looking into better ways to help calm himself besides talking medications or drugs that weren’t helping him like he had hoped.

He began meditating and it worked wonders for him. He was talking with one of his guru’s about how there’s real stress in the world, and that you can’t just ignore it. They got to talking about flights and airports as with Dan’s job he traveled a lot, and Dan would say how stressful it could be in layovers and connecting flights as he would might miss his next flight if his plane didn’t land at a certain time. And his master agreed that it can be stressful to miss your flight, but then he asked Dan another question… when is that thought useful. When does the worrying end, does it end after you’ve made your 18th flight, does that worrying end after the 50th time?  And so he told Dan, instead of focusing on the worry of missing his flight…to ask a better question. “Is this useful?” Is his worrying useful?

You can ask that question in any aspect of your life… when you’re looking at something you’re worrying about you can ask yourself…”is this a useful way of utilizing my time…is this helping?”

By looking at how we speak we begin looking at our beliefs. A belief isn’t something that is a cold hard fact…our beliefs are dictated by our behaviors. The more we think, say, or do something…then the more it will become part of our belief systems.  And when looking at the your behaviors…it can be a great way to bring clarity and ask yourself is this useful for me to be thinking and functioning this way?

The great thing about this question is it’s not putting the blame on anyone. It’s just a question that helps us to step back and get better perspective. It’s a question that helps us to focus away from what we don’t want…to pause and give us the room to think a little bit, as we don’t feel pressured, and hurried to change right away. It helps us to come to that a-ha moment…and those moments have the greatest pivots for me because in this great epiphany I’ve realized something better can be done. And when we find that hope, it gives us energy to go after that change with a new vigor.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
Go about your day and when you find yourself stressed or worrying about something…ask yourself, “is this useful?” Get accustomed to asking that question, and I can guarantee that the more you do it, then the more you’ll find your life flowing with much more ease and fulfillment.

I Focus on What’s Useful

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide

Wisdom Wednesdays-#284 The Strong Within Daily Affirmation Podcast

I Don’t Seek The Light I Am The Light

On the night of March 13th 1964 a woman was raped and killed in a Queens, New York Alleyway. It was reported that 38 people heard it happen and did nothing…one lady called after the woman who was attacked was already dead. At the time it was thought there as a moral decay in society and that people were indifferent to act.

I was speaking about this incident years ago either in a class or with a friend as we talked about a safety bias. That we think someone else is taking care of things so we don’t want to get in the way, or bother someone else (such as the 911 one operators are getting tons of calls in on this and I don’t want to slow anything down in the system), or that we don’t have to take care of something as someone more qualified than us will take care of it. And so people thought someone else must have called 911, “I don’t have to do it because someone else has beat me to it already I’m sure.”

Yes, there could be many more reasons why people didn’t call. They didn’t want to get involved, they were scared, they thought it was fake, they believed the woman was ok, etc.  The moral fiber of this argument is when you understand you are the light—YOU, do what’s right…always. You do what you feel is the best action in the situation instead of weighing the options of not being a burden.

Your role may not even be taking the lead, such as in a CPR situation. When a person is going into a cardiac arrest, if there is more than one person doing the rescue procedures, someone will need to take the lead and give out commands. Time is urgent and you want to have a minimal amount of wasted movements as possible. By being the light of this world, you fit in where you’re needed when needed, you rise up to be more than needed, and you remember who you’re meant to be…not a passive being, but an active being in sharing your light and talents with this world.

We are the light of the word, we are the hands of God, we are the voice of God, we are the love of God. We look at tragedies and ask where was God through all of this…

He is within us at every moment to share the best parts of ourselves. The world won’t get better by itself, not unless we partake in knowing that we are its keepers. God ISN’T… the absentee landlord who has abandoned us, but rather God HAS… given us the power to share love and make this world a better place, to make someone’s day brighter, to let people know they matter, to heal people, and to show a light that this world needs to see again. So when you question where’s God in all of this, you are being unproductive and lazy as you are expecting for someone or something else to take action…you are the work, you are the healing, you are the faith… and you connect deeper with God when you bring his love and work to this world through your anticipation and responses thru action. You are a messenger of love, faith, and hope. Be the light today, so someone can see that they can be the light as well.

Today’s Personal Commitment:
What does being a brighter light in this world mean to you? Is it being more concerned with people and engaging to see how they are doing? Is it doing the small things in life that wake you up and make you more present about being other people’s care takers such as opening the door for people, letting someone else go ahead of you in the grocery line as they look like they’re in a bigger rush, or is it being kinder and waving or saying hello to more people as you truly are concerned with how their day is going?  Everyone’s light will be different. How would you like to start shining your light differently today?

I Don’t Seek The Light I Am The Light

Thanks for listening.  I'm sending great energy your way as we become Strong Within together,
Personal Development Life Coach-
Chris O'Hearn

Contact info- email: [email protected]  phone:865-219-3247

Music by:
- Zest by basematic (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
- I Have Often Told You Stories (guitar instrumental) by Ivan Chew (c) copyright 2013 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution (3.0) license.
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee USA but available worldwide