The Suffering Podcast

By Kevin DonaldsonSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement Relationships

The Suffering Podcast episodes

November 01 Episode 307: The Suffering of Losing an Arm with Jimmy Nolan
The Suffering of Losing an Arm
Featuring Jimmy Nolan
At 16 years old, most kids are thinking about getting their driver’s license, hanging out with friends, playing sports, and figuring out who they want to become. Jimmy Nolan was facing a decision that would change the rest of his life—losing his right arm to cancer.
Jimmy’s battle began years earlier. At just 12 years old, doctors removed what was believed to be a noncancerous tumor from his shoulder. Two years later, his world changed when he was diagnosed with low-grade osteosarcoma, a form of bone cancer, eventually requiring his scapula to be replaced.
But the cancer wasn’t finished.
A year and a half later, it returned. This time, Jimmy was faced with an unimaginable reality: to continue fighting for his life, he would lose his right arm.
Jimmy survived.
But survival was only the beginning.
In this episode of The Suffering Podcast, Jimmy joins Kevin Donaldson to talk about what happens after the surgery—when the doctors have done their job, the cancer battle changes, and a teenager has to figure out how to live in a body and a world that suddenly feel completely different.
Jimmy shares the adversity of becoming an amputee at such a young age, adapting to life with one arm, confronting limitations, and discovering that losing a limb didn't mean losing the ability to build an extraordinary life.
Now 43, Jimmy is a two-time cancer survivor, right-arm amputee, husband, father, police dispatcher, athlete, and adaptive golfer. He has served with the Riverdale Police Department for more than 20 years and has been married to his wife, Leslie, for nearly nine years. Together, they are raising their two young sons, Connor and Kaden.
And Jimmy refuses to sit on the sidelines.
Twenty-seven years after losing his arm, he competes as an adaptive golfer and serves as a board member of the North American One-Armed Golfers Association. He also plays in a men's softball league, continually challenging assumptions about what an amputee can and cannot do.
This conversation isn't simply about losing an arm.
It's about losing part of yourself without losing yourself.
Jimmy's story explores cancer, fear, identity, adaptation, fatherhood, marriage, athletics, public safety, and the determination required to keep moving forward when life permanently changes the rules.
There are things in life we never choose. There are circumstances we cannot undo. And sometimes, there is no going back to the person we were before adversity arrived.
The question becomes: What are you going to do with the life that's still in front of you?
For Jimmy Nolan, the answer has been simple:
Never quit.
Join us for “The Suffering of Losing an Arm” and hear how a 16-year-old cancer patient grew into a husband, father, public servant, athlete, and survivor who continues to take life one day at a time.
This is gonna hurt. It’s time for The Suffering Podcast.
Find Jimmy Nolan
https://naoaga.org/
https://charity.pledgeit.org/2027NAOAGAWinterReginal/@Give-One-Arm-Golfers-A-Hand
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/singlehandedlyawesome?stkn=MXZxMDk4Mm8zbGhyYg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
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57 min
October 25 Episode 306: The Suffering of a Toxic Childhood with Krystyn DePree
The Suffering of a Toxic Childhood
Featuring Krystyn Depree
What happens when the place that is supposed to make you feel safe becomes the place you learn to fear?
On this episode of The Suffering Podcast, Kevin Donaldson sits down with Krystyn Depree for a deeply personal conversation about adoption, childhood trauma, physical abuse, and the lifelong struggle to understand your own worth.
Krystyn’s story begins with adoption—a circumstance that can already leave a child wrestling with complicated questions about identity, belonging, rejection, and where they fit in the world. But her childhood would carry another painful layer. Growing up in a physically abusive environment, Krystyn learned lessons about herself and relationships that no child should have to learn.
Childhood doesn't simply disappear when we become adults. The things we experience when we're young can shape the way we see ourselves, the relationships we choose, the treatment we tolerate, and even the voice we hear inside our own heads.
For Krystyn, those early experiences followed her into adulthood, contributing to struggles with self-esteem, relationships, trust, boundaries, and self-worth. This conversation explores what happens when someone spends years searching outside themselves for the love, security, and acceptance they never learned to feel within.
Kevin and Krystyn examine the difficult connection between childhood trauma and adult relationships: how familiar dysfunction can sometimes feel more comfortable than unfamiliar peace, how low self-worth can influence the people we allow into our lives, and how breaking those patterns requires confronting where they began.
But this episode is about more than what happened to Krystyn.
It's about what she decided to do with what happened to her.
The Suffering of a Toxic Childhood is an honest conversation about identity, relationships, self-esteem, survival, and the difficult process of separating who you truly are from what your childhood taught you to believe about yourself.
Sometimes growing up isn't enough.
Sometimes we have to go back and understand the child we once were before we can finally become the adult we were meant to be.
Find Krystyn
http://www.primerica.com/
This is gonna hurt. It's time for The Suffering Podcast.
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1 hr 4 min
October 18 Episode 305: The Suffering of Pressure with Ramon Caraballo
The Suffering of Pressure
Featuring Detective Sergeant Ramon Caraballo
For more than 25 years, Ramon Caraballo has lived in a world where pressure isn’t an occasional challenge—it’s part of the job.
A veteran law enforcement professional with more than two decades in criminal investigations, Ramon currently serves as a Detective Sergeant supervising a Criminal Investigations Division. His career has placed him at the center of some of the most demanding investigations imaginable, including homicides, violent crimes, organized crime, narcotics, fraud, internal affairs, cold cases, and complex multi-agency investigations.
He is also a certified Polygraph Examiner and has served as Team Leader of the BCERT Hostage Negotiations Team—a position where communication, judgment, patience, and the ability to remain composed under extraordinary pressure can mean the difference between life and death.
Throughout his career, Ramon has worked alongside local, state, and federal agencies, including the Pennsylvania State Police, FBI, ATF, United States Secret Service, and NYPD. His investigative work has contributed to solving cold-case homicides, dismantling interstate and multimillion-dollar criminal organizations, and obtaining critical confessions in major criminal cases.
But accomplishments only tell part of the story.
Ramon is the first two-time recipient of the Berks County Officer of the Year Award and has completed more than 2,600 hours of specialized professional training, including leadership education through Northwestern University’s School of Police Staff and Command. He has also dedicated significant time to law-enforcement training, recruitment, community outreach, police-community relations, and difficult conversations surrounding accountability, diversity, leadership, and public trust.
Behind every title, award, investigation, interrogation, and leadership position, however, is a human being.
On this episode of The Suffering Podcast, we explore The Suffering of Pressure—the pressure to perform, the pressure to lead, the pressure to make the right decision when the consequences are enormous, and the pressure that comes when your career, reputation, family, identity, and future can suddenly feel as though they are all hanging in the balance.
What happens when the investigator becomes the one under scrutiny?
What happens when years spent building a reputation can be challenged in a moment?
And what does pressure reveal about a person when everything around them begins to close in?
This conversation goes beyond the badge and beyond the résumé. It is about leadership, accountability, resilience, reputation, survival, and the unseen weight carried by those expected to remain composed when circumstances become anything but.
This is The Suffering of Pressure.
IMPORTANT CONTEXT — WATCH IN ORDER
The following videos are intended to be viewed in the specific order listed below for proper context and understanding.
Complete Playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkOS8fpvCrHn9JC9dM0ZusuZvaoByeVlN
1.
https://youtu.be/8KVdL4VtMKY?si=4xbwCtTT9mwkqdZz
2.
https://youtu.be/UywFXKmv31c?si=tdhVj91EmOWJRd-q
3.
https://youtu.be/z4gc2MIL7yo?si=LNlZbYwCCOp3qx1G
4.
https://youtu.be/XoxLQG_23MI?si=J_uMYBZRGbxg3ZnC
5.
https://youtu.be/N1lKuY2v8jE?si=DR-sgzPwZhvOkoBR
6.
https://youtu.be/ZqsvD1bETIk?si=PUq58K-zirqaP6_d
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1 hr 16 min
October 11 Episode 304: The Suffering of Urban Farming with Elisabeth Concepcion
The Suffering of Urban Farming
Meet Elisabeth Concepcion & The Backyard Girls Urban Farm
In the middle of Newark, New Jersey—where concrete, traffic, and city life dominate the landscape—Elisabeth Concepcion and her husband are building something unexpected.
The Backyard Girls Urban Farm.
What began with a few chickens and a simple desire for fresh eggs has grown into something much bigger: a lesson in patience, responsibility, resilience, community, and the reality of trying to create a little piece of country life in the middle of the city.
Because farming—even backyard farming—isn't always the peaceful picture people imagine.
There are sick chickens, muddy mornings, unpredictable weather, animals that don't cooperate, eggs that don't arrive on schedule, and plenty of moments when you realize nature doesn't care about your plans. There are setbacks, mistakes, frustrations, and lessons that can only be learned by getting your hands dirty and showing up again the next day.
But there is also something incredibly rewarding about watching something grow because you were willing to care for it.
For Elisabeth and her husband, The Backyard Girls Urban Farm has become about much more than chickens or eggs. It's about reconnecting with where food actually comes from and proving that you don't need acres of farmland to grow something meaningful. Sometimes all you need is a backyard, a little creativity, and the willingness to start.
Their hens don't produce eggs every day, and the farm doesn't always have extras available. But when they do have more than they need, Elisabeth and her husband look for opportunities to share. Giving back has become part of the vision for the farm, including supporting local organizations and community efforts that help provide food to people who need it.
Their hope is to continue growing, learning, and finding new ways for their small urban farm to make an impact far beyond their own backyard.
On this episode of The Suffering Podcast, we sit down with Elisabeth to talk about The Suffering of Urban Farming—the victories, the failures, the animals, the unexpected challenges, the lessons, and the community that can grow when someone decides to plant something where nobody expects it.
Because sometimes growth doesn't begin with having the perfect piece of land.
Sometimes it begins by looking at the small patch of ground you already have and saying:
“Maybe I can grow something here.”
Follow The Backyard Girls Urban Farm
Instagram: @thebackyardgirlsurbanfarm
TikTok: @thebackyardgirlsurbanfarm
Facebook: The Backyard Girls Urban Farm
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1 hr 13 min
October 04 Episode 303: The Suffering of The Emotional Toll With Brian Bartiromo
The Suffering of the Emotional Toll
Featuring Brian J. Bartiromo | The Suffering Podcast
What happens when a man spends his entire life preparing to become a police officer—but never prepares himself for what the job, grief, and decades of buried emotion will do to him?
Brian J. Bartiromo was born into law enforcement. Raised in Irvington, New Jersey, his father, stepfather, two uncles, and cousin all served with the Irvington Police Department. Some of Brian's earliest memories involve listening to their stories—not only about dangerous calls, high-crime incidents, and memorable arrests, but about the humor, brotherhood, chaos, and unfiltered reality that existed behind the walls of a police department.
There was never much question about where Brian believed his own life was headed. He wanted to wear the same badge and serve the same community that had become part of his family's identity.
Then, just weeks before Brian was scheduled to begin the police academy in June 1995, his world changed. His only brother died at just 26 years old after a long battle with cancer.
Brian knew how to prepare himself to become a cop. He didn't know how to prepare himself to grieve.
So he did what many people—especially those entering professions built around strength, control, and responsibility—learn to do. He put the pain away. The grief, sadness, fear, and even his ability to fully experience joy were placed on a shelf in a dark corner of himself. He kept moving forward.
But buried isn't the same as gone.
During seven years policing a high-crime inner-city community, Brian experienced things most people will never encounter. Shootings. Carjackings. Dangerous pursuits. Gunfire. He watched a fellow officer get shot only feet away from him. Following the September 11 terrorist attacks, he spent several days working at Ground Zero.
Call after call. Experience after experience. Loss after loss.
And the shelf kept getting heavier.
Around the same time, becoming a father to the first of his five daughters began changing the way Brian saw life. Eventually, he transferred from the intensity of inner-city policing to a small, affluent department of only 23 officers.
You might expect that to be where life became easier.
Instead, it was where things slowly began to unravel.
When the Uniform Can't Hold Everything Anymore
In this episode of The Suffering Podcast, we sit down with Brian Bartiromo for an intensely personal conversation about the emotional toll—not simply of police work, but of carrying unresolved grief and unprocessed experiences through decades of life.
We explore what happens when survival becomes a lifestyle. When compartmentalization works so well that you don't realize what it is costing you. When the very coping mechanisms that allow you to function during the hardest moments eventually become obstacles to experiencing peace, connection, and joy.
Brian opens up about the self-doubt, self-sabotage, and diminished sense of self-worth that followed him through his 30s, 40s, and into his 50s. We talk about mistakes, triumphs, fatherhood, policing, identity, grief, forgiveness, and the difficult realization that sometimes the strongest thing a person can do is finally open the door to everything they've spent years trying to keep locked away.
Because emotional wounds don't disappear simply because we refuse to look at them.
Sometimes they wait.
A Different Definition of Success
Today, Brian is entering a different chapter of his life—one built less around running from what happened and more around understanding it.
Acceptance.
Healing.
Growth.
And perhaps most importantly, self-forgiveness.
Brian has come to understand something many of us spend a lifetime fighting: failure isn't necessarily the opposite of success. Sometimes failure is one of the roads that leads us there.
One simple phrase helped change the way he looked at his past:
“Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what time could only teach you.”
That's the heart of this conversation.
You cannot judge the person you were decades ago using everything you know today. You can acknowledge your mistakes. You can take responsibility. You can learn. You can change. But eventually, you also have to decide whether you're going to spend the rest of your life punishing yourself for not knowing then what suffering, experience, and time had not yet taught you.
This is The Suffering of the Emotional Toll.
This is gonna hurt.
It's time for The Suffering Podcast.
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1 hr 1 min
September 27 Episode 302: The Suffering of Police Therapy with Dr. Anastasia Pytal and Luke Sciallo
The Suffering of Police Therapy | The Suffering Podcast
What happens when the people trained to protect everyone else finally admit they need help themselves?
Police officers spend their careers responding to humanity's darkest moments. They run toward danger while everyone else runs away. But when the shift ends, the trauma doesn't always stay behind.
In this powerful episode of The Suffering Podcast, we explore The Suffering of Police Therapy—why so many officers hesitate to seek help, how the culture of policing has historically viewed mental health, and why that culture is finally beginning to change.
Joining us are two nationally respected voices in first responder wellness who are leading that change from different perspectives.
Dr. Anastasia Pytal is a Board Certified Police and Public Safety Psychologist, former first responder, and founder of the First Responders Resilience Center. She has dedicated her career to helping law enforcement officers and their families recover from trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, and the invisible wounds of the profession.
Alongside her is Luke Sciallo, a veteran police officer with the Township of Ocean Police Department, NJSPBA Peer Response Team Coordinator, and Pension Consultant. Luke has become one of New Jersey's leading advocates for officer wellness, peer support, and legislative reform, helping transform how law enforcement agencies respond to officers in crisis.
Together, we discuss the emotional realities behind the badge, why asking for help is still difficult, how trauma silently impacts careers and families, and what departments can do to create a culture where seeking therapy is viewed as strength—not weakness.
The conversation explores practical approaches to healing, the importance of culturally competent therapists, peer support, confidential counseling, officer wellness legislation, and why changing the culture may ultimately save lives.
Whether you're an active officer, retired first responder, spouse, family member, therapist, or simply someone who wants to better understand the psychological cost of policing, this episode offers honesty, hope, and actionable insight.
Featured Guests
Dr. Anastasia Pytal
Dr. Anastasia Pytal, MPA, PsyD, ABPP, is a licensed psychologist, Board Certified in Police and Public Safety Psychology, and founder of the First Responders Resilience Center.
Her professional focus is helping law enforcement professionals and their loved ones navigate trauma, depression, anxiety, occupational stress, and relationship challenges through collaborative, evidence-based treatment.
Dr. Pytal specializes in:
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Police trauma recovery
Critical incident stress
First responder resilience
Family support
She received specialized training in Critical Incident Stress Management for Emergency Services through the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation. As both a former first responder and psychologist, she brings a unique understanding of the emotional realities officers face after critical incidents.
Dr. Pytal completed the Yale University School of Management Executive Education Women's Leadership Program, is a certified Hostage Negotiator, trained in Psychological Autopsies, serves as a founding member and Mental Health Liaison for the Survivors of Blue Suicide Foundation, is an active member of the International Association of Chiefs of Police Psychological Services Section, and has served on workgroups establishing best practices following an officer's death.
Luke Sciallo
Luke Sciallo is a police officer with the Township of Ocean Police Department and currently serves as the NJSPBA Peer Response Team Coordinator and Pension Consultant.
A graduate of the New Jersey State Police Academy, Luke began his law enforcement career in 2001 and has spent more than two decades serving primarily in the Patrol Division, building extensive frontline experience while developing a passion for officer wellness.
In his leadership role with the New Jersey State Policemen's Benevolent Association (NJSPBA), Luke helped transform the organization's Peer Response Team in 2022 by expanding it to include trained peer supporters, licensed clinical professionals, and clergy-based support services. The enhanced program has significantly strengthened New Jersey's ability to provide immediate, confidential assistance to officers experiencing personal or professional crises.
Luke has also played a significant role in advancing officer wellness legislation, including A5792/S4590, signed into law in 2025. The landmark legislation provides:
Up to 12 hours of paid, confidential counseling following a critical incident
The ability for first responders to choose their own licensed mental health provider
Confidentiality protections for peer support communications
Protection from having to use sick or vacation time to receive mental health care
Created in response to growing concerns surrounding first responder mental health and suicide, the law represents a major step toward reducing stigma and improving access to timely care throughout New Jersey's public safety community.
Luke continues to advocate for mental health awareness, early intervention, confidential peer support, and building resilient law enforcement agencies through practical, experience-driven leadership.
In This Episode
Why officers often avoid therapy
Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health
PTSD and cumulative trauma in policing
How EMDR helps officers heal
The importance of culturally competent therapists
Building trust between clinicians and law enforcement
Peer support that actually works
Critical incident recovery
New Jersey's groundbreaking wellness legislation
Why confidentiality matters
Helping officers before they reach a crisis
Creating healthier police departments
This Episode Is For
Police Officers
Sheriff's Deputies
State Troopers
Federal Law Enforcement
Corrections Officers
Dispatchers
Firefighters
EMS Professionals
Military Veterans
Mental Health Professionals
First Responder Families
Community Leaders
If this conversation impacts you, subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who serves or supports those who serve.
Every honest conversation helps break the stigma.
Every story shared makes it easier for another officer to ask for help.
Because no one should suffer alone.
The Suffering Podcast
"Turning suffering into strength through honest conversation."
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1 hr 5 min
September 20 Episode 301: The Suffering of Brothers with Don Erickson
Donald R. Erickson Jr. has spent his life learning how to get back up. On this episode of The Suffering Podcast, Donald shares his journey from a difficult childhood marked by poverty, an abusive father, childhood sexual abuse, medical struggles, and being raised alongside four siblings by a single mother, to discovering purpose in the restaurant industry at just 13 years old. What began as a dishwashing job became a lifelong career as a chef, teaching him discipline, leadership, resilience, and the power of giving people an opportunity.
Donald’s greatest lessons, however, came through loss. He returned to New Jersey after his mother was diagnosed with cancer, eventually losing her when she was only 60. Years later, his brother Brian—a military veteran who struggled with addiction—died by suicide. At nearly the same time, Donald was enduring the collapse of his marriage, allegations of physical and emotional abuse, separation from his home and family, and a period of living out of his truck. Yet through childhood trauma, grief, suicide loss, addiction, and personal devastation, Donald continued returning to the philosophy that has shaped his life: it’s not about how hard you fall—it’s about how you get up.
Today, Donald runs the large-scale operation at Stage House Tavern in Somerset, New Jersey, where he leads approximately 100 employees with a philosophy centered on kindness, respect, accountability, and second chances. Alongside his sister Karin, he has turned that philosophy into community action—feeding people experiencing homelessness, supporting families in crisis, helping veterans and first responders, providing meals and gifts to approximately 800 people on Christmas Day, and developing 21 Scoops, an ice cream shop intended to create opportunities for members of the special-needs community after age 21.
This is a conversation about childhood trauma, abuse, addiction, suicide loss, grief, leadership, faith, resilience, community service, second chances, and turning suffering into purpose. Donald’s story reminds us that surviving isn’t simply about what you’ve endured—it’s about what you choose to build from it and who you decide to help along the way. This is gonna hurt. It’s time for The Suffering Podcast.
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1 hr 13 min
September 13 Episode 300: The Suffering of Justice with Barbara and Drew Oldrati
What happens when the people who spent a lifetime teaching integrity watch their son become the center of one of New Jersey's most controversial criminal prosecutions?
In this deeply personal episode of The Suffering Podcast, Barbara and Drew Oldrati share the emotional journey of standing beside their son, Mantua Township Police Corporal Salvatore Oldrati, following his indictment in connection with a fatal 2021 officer-involved shooting. They discuss how the case has affected their family, their perspective on the investigation and prosecution, and the personal toll of navigating years of legal uncertainty. They also reflect on the emotional burden carried not only by police officers, but by the families who stand behind them through public scrutiny and private pain.
This conversation explores themes of family, faith, resilience, justice, and the human cost of high-profile criminal cases. Regardless of where listeners stand on the case itself, Barbara and Drew offer an intimate look at what it feels like when a family's life is forever changed by events that extend far beyond the courtroom.
Find more
Justice for Corporal Oldrati
https://www.instagram.com/justiceforcorporaloldrati1558/
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1 hr 7 min
September 06 Episode 299: The Suffering of a Military K9 with Alfred Brenner
After graduating from St. Rose High School in the summer of 2007, Alfred completed Marine Corps Boot Camp at Paris Island. Throughout the next year, he attended Military Police School and was selected to become a K9 Handler, sending him to Military Working Dog School in Lackland AFB San Antonio Texas. Brenner spent the next few years at Camp Pendleton California training for a 2010 deployment with his new partner Grief.

During the historic deployment in 2010, Sgt. Brenner was severely injured by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) and was sent home for numerous surgeries and months of recovery. Despite being injured, and suffering a traumatic event, it never amounted to the pain of losing his K9 partner Grief, who was killed by the explosion. It was throughout the next few years of recovery where he realized what the future would bring.

Before leaving the military, Brenner returned to the kennels one last time to assist and aid in the training for the next deployment rotation. Once the torched had been passed, Alfred opted to medically retire from the Marines and hang up his leash. Today, his new mission consists of sharing the stories of his time as a handler and more importantly, how to push forward and “Survive with Grief”.

Social Links

Amazon - https://a.co/d/06KePkPn
Instagram - @sgtbrenner
Tiktok - @sgtbrenner
https://www.youtube.com/@SurvivingwithGrief
https://www.survivingwithgrief.com/

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1 hr 18 min
August 30 Episode 298: The Suffering of a Minister with Dan Burrus
What happens when someone spends decades helping people navigate both financial challenges and life's deepest spiritual questions?
In this episode of The Suffering Podcast, we sit down with Daniel Burrus—a husband, father of four, Enrolled Agent, ordained minister, author, and educator whose unique journey bridges the worlds of accounting, theology, and leadership.
Daniel holds both a Master of Arts (MA) and a Master of Theology (ThM) and brings more than 23 years of experience in public and private accounting, along with 15 years serving as a pastor. Today, he works with Atlas CPAs & Advisors while also serving with Equipping Leaders International, where he helps train and equip under-resourced Christian leaders throughout Asia, Africa, and South America.
Our conversation explores faith, suffering, leadership, purpose, and the timeless lessons found in the biblical story of Job. Daniel also shares insights from his book, Wisdom in Suffering: Lessons from Job, offering practical wisdom for anyone facing adversity or searching for hope in difficult seasons.
When he isn't teaching, writing, or serving others, Daniel enjoys spending time with his family, reading, watching great movies, playing golf, and taking his Jeep Wrangler out with the top down.
If you've ever wrestled with suffering, questioned God's purpose during hardship, or wanted to grow stronger through life's trials, this episode is for you.
Connect with Daniel Burrus
Website: https://www.danielburrus.org
Book: Wisdom in Suffering: Lessons from Job
Atlas CPAs & Advisors: https://www.atlascpas.com
Equipping Leaders International: https://equippingleadersinternational.org

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1 hr 7 min

About The Suffering Podcast

From the publisher's feed

Adversity is the common thread throughout the lives of all living human beings. This human condition can either make us or break us. Nothing great comes easy and it's the overcoming of adversity…