The Suffering Podcast

By Kevin DonaldsonSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement Relationships

The Suffering Podcast episodes

October 04 Episode 303: The Suffering of The Emotional Toll With Brian Bartiromo
The Suffering of the Emotional Toll
Featuring Brian J. Bartiromo | The Suffering Podcast
What happens when a man spends his entire life preparing to become a police officer—but never prepares himself for what the job, grief, and decades of buried emotion will do to him?
Brian J. Bartiromo was born into law enforcement. Raised in Irvington, New Jersey, his father, stepfather, two uncles, and cousin all served with the Irvington Police Department. Some of Brian's earliest memories involve listening to their stories—not only about dangerous calls, high-crime incidents, and memorable arrests, but about the humor, brotherhood, chaos, and unfiltered reality that existed behind the walls of a police department.
There was never much question about where Brian believed his own life was headed. He wanted to wear the same badge and serve the same community that had become part of his family's identity.
Then, just weeks before Brian was scheduled to begin the police academy in June 1995, his world changed. His only brother died at just 26 years old after a long battle with cancer.
Brian knew how to prepare himself to become a cop. He didn't know how to prepare himself to grieve.
So he did what many people—especially those entering professions built around strength, control, and responsibility—learn to do. He put the pain away. The grief, sadness, fear, and even his ability to fully experience joy were placed on a shelf in a dark corner of himself. He kept moving forward.
But buried isn't the same as gone.
During seven years policing a high-crime inner-city community, Brian experienced things most people will never encounter. Shootings. Carjackings. Dangerous pursuits. Gunfire. He watched a fellow officer get shot only feet away from him. Following the September 11 terrorist attacks, he spent several days working at Ground Zero.
Call after call. Experience after experience. Loss after loss.
And the shelf kept getting heavier.
Around the same time, becoming a father to the first of his five daughters began changing the way Brian saw life. Eventually, he transferred from the intensity of inner-city policing to a small, affluent department of only 23 officers.
You might expect that to be where life became easier.
Instead, it was where things slowly began to unravel.
When the Uniform Can't Hold Everything Anymore
In this episode of The Suffering Podcast, we sit down with Brian Bartiromo for an intensely personal conversation about the emotional toll—not simply of police work, but of carrying unresolved grief and unprocessed experiences through decades of life.
We explore what happens when survival becomes a lifestyle. When compartmentalization works so well that you don't realize what it is costing you. When the very coping mechanisms that allow you to function during the hardest moments eventually become obstacles to experiencing peace, connection, and joy.
Brian opens up about the self-doubt, self-sabotage, and diminished sense of self-worth that followed him through his 30s, 40s, and into his 50s. We talk about mistakes, triumphs, fatherhood, policing, identity, grief, forgiveness, and the difficult realization that sometimes the strongest thing a person can do is finally open the door to everything they've spent years trying to keep locked away.
Because emotional wounds don't disappear simply because we refuse to look at them.
Sometimes they wait.
A Different Definition of Success
Today, Brian is entering a different chapter of his life—one built less around running from what happened and more around understanding it.
Acceptance.
Healing.
Growth.
And perhaps most importantly, self-forgiveness.
Brian has come to understand something many of us spend a lifetime fighting: failure isn't necessarily the opposite of success. Sometimes failure is one of the roads that leads us there.
One simple phrase helped change the way he looked at his past:
“Forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what time could only teach you.”
That's the heart of this conversation.
You cannot judge the person you were decades ago using everything you know today. You can acknowledge your mistakes. You can take responsibility. You can learn. You can change. But eventually, you also have to decide whether you're going to spend the rest of your life punishing yourself for not knowing then what suffering, experience, and time had not yet taught you.
This is The Suffering of the Emotional Toll.
This is gonna hurt.
It's time for The Suffering Podcast.
Find The Suffering Podcast
The Suffering Podcast Website
The Suffering Podcast Instagram
Kevin Donaldson Instagram
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 1 min
September 27 Episode 302: The Suffering of Police Therapy with Dr. Anastasia Pytal and Luke Sciallo
The Suffering of Police Therapy | The Suffering Podcast
What happens when the people trained to protect everyone else finally admit they need help themselves?
Police officers spend their careers responding to humanity's darkest moments. They run toward danger while everyone else runs away. But when the shift ends, the trauma doesn't always stay behind.
In this powerful episode of The Suffering Podcast, we explore The Suffering of Police Therapy—why so many officers hesitate to seek help, how the culture of policing has historically viewed mental health, and why that culture is finally beginning to change.
Joining us are two nationally respected voices in first responder wellness who are leading that change from different perspectives.
Dr. Anastasia Pytal is a Board Certified Police and Public Safety Psychologist, former first responder, and founder of the First Responders Resilience Center. She has dedicated her career to helping law enforcement officers and their families recover from trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, and the invisible wounds of the profession.
Alongside her is Luke Sciallo, a veteran police officer with the Township of Ocean Police Department, NJSPBA Peer Response Team Coordinator, and Pension Consultant. Luke has become one of New Jersey's leading advocates for officer wellness, peer support, and legislative reform, helping transform how law enforcement agencies respond to officers in crisis.
Together, we discuss the emotional realities behind the badge, why asking for help is still difficult, how trauma silently impacts careers and families, and what departments can do to create a culture where seeking therapy is viewed as strength—not weakness.
The conversation explores practical approaches to healing, the importance of culturally competent therapists, peer support, confidential counseling, officer wellness legislation, and why changing the culture may ultimately save lives.
Whether you're an active officer, retired first responder, spouse, family member, therapist, or simply someone who wants to better understand the psychological cost of policing, this episode offers honesty, hope, and actionable insight.
Featured Guests
Dr. Anastasia Pytal
Dr. Anastasia Pytal, MPA, PsyD, ABPP, is a licensed psychologist, Board Certified in Police and Public Safety Psychology, and founder of the First Responders Resilience Center.
Her professional focus is helping law enforcement professionals and their loved ones navigate trauma, depression, anxiety, occupational stress, and relationship challenges through collaborative, evidence-based treatment.
Dr. Pytal specializes in:
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Police trauma recovery
Critical incident stress
First responder resilience
Family support
She received specialized training in Critical Incident Stress Management for Emergency Services through the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation. As both a former first responder and psychologist, she brings a unique understanding of the emotional realities officers face after critical incidents.
Dr. Pytal completed the Yale University School of Management Executive Education Women's Leadership Program, is a certified Hostage Negotiator, trained in Psychological Autopsies, serves as a founding member and Mental Health Liaison for the Survivors of Blue Suicide Foundation, is an active member of the International Association of Chiefs of Police Psychological Services Section, and has served on workgroups establishing best practices following an officer's death.
Luke Sciallo
Luke Sciallo is a police officer with the Township of Ocean Police Department and currently serves as the NJSPBA Peer Response Team Coordinator and Pension Consultant.
A graduate of the New Jersey State Police Academy, Luke began his law enforcement career in 2001 and has spent more than two decades serving primarily in the Patrol Division, building extensive frontline experience while developing a passion for officer wellness.
In his leadership role with the New Jersey State Policemen's Benevolent Association (NJSPBA), Luke helped transform the organization's Peer Response Team in 2022 by expanding it to include trained peer supporters, licensed clinical professionals, and clergy-based support services. The enhanced program has significantly strengthened New Jersey's ability to provide immediate, confidential assistance to officers experiencing personal or professional crises.
Luke has also played a significant role in advancing officer wellness legislation, including A5792/S4590, signed into law in 2025. The landmark legislation provides:
Up to 12 hours of paid, confidential counseling following a critical incident
The ability for first responders to choose their own licensed mental health provider
Confidentiality protections for peer support communications
Protection from having to use sick or vacation time to receive mental health care
Created in response to growing concerns surrounding first responder mental health and suicide, the law represents a major step toward reducing stigma and improving access to timely care throughout New Jersey's public safety community.
Luke continues to advocate for mental health awareness, early intervention, confidential peer support, and building resilient law enforcement agencies through practical, experience-driven leadership.
In This Episode
Why officers often avoid therapy
Breaking the stigma surrounding mental health
PTSD and cumulative trauma in policing
How EMDR helps officers heal
The importance of culturally competent therapists
Building trust between clinicians and law enforcement
Peer support that actually works
Critical incident recovery
New Jersey's groundbreaking wellness legislation
Why confidentiality matters
Helping officers before they reach a crisis
Creating healthier police departments
This Episode Is For
Police Officers
Sheriff's Deputies
State Troopers
Federal Law Enforcement
Corrections Officers
Dispatchers
Firefighters
EMS Professionals
Military Veterans
Mental Health Professionals
First Responder Families
Community Leaders
If this conversation impacts you, subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who serves or supports those who serve.
Every honest conversation helps break the stigma.
Every story shared makes it easier for another officer to ask for help.
Because no one should suffer alone.
The Suffering Podcast
"Turning suffering into strength through honest conversation."
The Suffering Podcast Website
The Suffering Podcast Instagram
Kevin Donaldson Instagram
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 5 min
September 20 Episode 301: The Suffering of Brothers with Don Erickson
Donald R. Erickson Jr. has spent his life learning how to get back up. On this episode of The Suffering Podcast, Donald shares his journey from a difficult childhood marked by poverty, an abusive father, childhood sexual abuse, medical struggles, and being raised alongside four siblings by a single mother, to discovering purpose in the restaurant industry at just 13 years old. What began as a dishwashing job became a lifelong career as a chef, teaching him discipline, leadership, resilience, and the power of giving people an opportunity.
Donald’s greatest lessons, however, came through loss. He returned to New Jersey after his mother was diagnosed with cancer, eventually losing her when she was only 60. Years later, his brother Brian—a military veteran who struggled with addiction—died by suicide. At nearly the same time, Donald was enduring the collapse of his marriage, allegations of physical and emotional abuse, separation from his home and family, and a period of living out of his truck. Yet through childhood trauma, grief, suicide loss, addiction, and personal devastation, Donald continued returning to the philosophy that has shaped his life: it’s not about how hard you fall—it’s about how you get up.
Today, Donald runs the large-scale operation at Stage House Tavern in Somerset, New Jersey, where he leads approximately 100 employees with a philosophy centered on kindness, respect, accountability, and second chances. Alongside his sister Karin, he has turned that philosophy into community action—feeding people experiencing homelessness, supporting families in crisis, helping veterans and first responders, providing meals and gifts to approximately 800 people on Christmas Day, and developing 21 Scoops, an ice cream shop intended to create opportunities for members of the special-needs community after age 21.
This is a conversation about childhood trauma, abuse, addiction, suicide loss, grief, leadership, faith, resilience, community service, second chances, and turning suffering into purpose. Donald’s story reminds us that surviving isn’t simply about what you’ve endured—it’s about what you choose to build from it and who you decide to help along the way. This is gonna hurt. It’s time for The Suffering Podcast.
Find The Suffering Podcast
The Suffering Podcast Website
The Suffering Podcast Instagram
Kevin Donaldson Instagram
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 13 min
September 13 Episode 300: The Suffering of Justice with Barbara and Drew Oldrati
What happens when the people who spent a lifetime teaching integrity watch their son become the center of one of New Jersey's most controversial criminal prosecutions?
In this deeply personal episode of The Suffering Podcast, Barbara and Drew Oldrati share the emotional journey of standing beside their son, Mantua Township Police Corporal Salvatore Oldrati, following his indictment in connection with a fatal 2021 officer-involved shooting. They discuss how the case has affected their family, their perspective on the investigation and prosecution, and the personal toll of navigating years of legal uncertainty. They also reflect on the emotional burden carried not only by police officers, but by the families who stand behind them through public scrutiny and private pain.
This conversation explores themes of family, faith, resilience, justice, and the human cost of high-profile criminal cases. Regardless of where listeners stand on the case itself, Barbara and Drew offer an intimate look at what it feels like when a family's life is forever changed by events that extend far beyond the courtroom.
Find more
Justice for Corporal Oldrati
https://www.instagram.com/justiceforcorporaloldrati1558/
Find The Suffering Podcast
The Suffering Podcast Website
The Suffering Podcast Instagram
Kevin Donaldson Instagram
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 7 min
September 06 Episode 299: The Suffering of a Military K9 with Alfred Brenner
After graduating from St. Rose High School in the summer of 2007, Alfred completed Marine Corps Boot Camp at Paris Island. Throughout the next year, he attended Military Police School and was selected to become a K9 Handler, sending him to Military Working Dog School in Lackland AFB San Antonio Texas. Brenner spent the next few years at Camp Pendleton California training for a 2010 deployment with his new partner Grief.

During the historic deployment in 2010, Sgt. Brenner was severely injured by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) and was sent home for numerous surgeries and months of recovery. Despite being injured, and suffering a traumatic event, it never amounted to the pain of losing his K9 partner Grief, who was killed by the explosion. It was throughout the next few years of recovery where he realized what the future would bring.

Before leaving the military, Brenner returned to the kennels one last time to assist and aid in the training for the next deployment rotation. Once the torched had been passed, Alfred opted to medically retire from the Marines and hang up his leash. Today, his new mission consists of sharing the stories of his time as a handler and more importantly, how to push forward and “Survive with Grief”.

Social Links

Amazon - https://a.co/d/06KePkPn
Instagram - @sgtbrenner
Tiktok - @sgtbrenner
https://www.youtube.com/@SurvivingwithGrief
https://www.survivingwithgrief.com/

Find The Suffering Podcast
The Suffering Podcast Website
The Suffering Podcast Instagram
Kevin Donaldson Instagram
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 18 min
August 30 Episode 298: The Suffering of a Minister with Dan Burrus
What happens when someone spends decades helping people navigate both financial challenges and life's deepest spiritual questions?
In this episode of The Suffering Podcast, we sit down with Daniel Burrus—a husband, father of four, Enrolled Agent, ordained minister, author, and educator whose unique journey bridges the worlds of accounting, theology, and leadership.
Daniel holds both a Master of Arts (MA) and a Master of Theology (ThM) and brings more than 23 years of experience in public and private accounting, along with 15 years serving as a pastor. Today, he works with Atlas CPAs & Advisors while also serving with Equipping Leaders International, where he helps train and equip under-resourced Christian leaders throughout Asia, Africa, and South America.
Our conversation explores faith, suffering, leadership, purpose, and the timeless lessons found in the biblical story of Job. Daniel also shares insights from his book, Wisdom in Suffering: Lessons from Job, offering practical wisdom for anyone facing adversity or searching for hope in difficult seasons.
When he isn't teaching, writing, or serving others, Daniel enjoys spending time with his family, reading, watching great movies, playing golf, and taking his Jeep Wrangler out with the top down.
If you've ever wrestled with suffering, questioned God's purpose during hardship, or wanted to grow stronger through life's trials, this episode is for you.
Connect with Daniel Burrus
Website: https://www.danielburrus.org
Book: Wisdom in Suffering: Lessons from Job
Atlas CPAs & Advisors: https://www.atlascpas.com
Equipping Leaders International: https://equippingleadersinternational.org

Find The Suffering Podcast
The Suffering Podcast Website
The Suffering Podcast Instagram
Kevin Donaldson Instagram
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 7 min
August 23 Episode 297: The Suffering of the NJ Angry Driver with Nick Goldsack
Nick Goldsack spent nearly three decades running toward danger as a firefighter. Today, he's still solving problems—just with a different set of tools.
A retired Fire Captain with the Hoboken Fire Department, Nick built a career defined by leadership, resilience, and service. From responding to everyday emergencies to helping his community through major events like Superstorm Sandy and the COVID-19 pandemic, he earned a reputation for staying calm under pressure and finding solutions when people needed them most.
After retiring from the fire service, Nick brought that same work ethic and commitment to excellence into the private sector by founding Maintenance Made Easy, one of New Jersey's premier property maintenance and home improvement companies. Whether managing repairs, overseeing residential properties, or helping homeowners protect their investments, Nick and his team approach every job with the same integrity, reliability, and attention to detail that shaped his firefighting career.
Outside of work, Nick is a devoted family man, celebrating more than three decades of marriage to his wife, Lisa. Together they have raised three daughters—Paige, Jenna, and Leigha—and enjoy life with their dog, Frankie.
Many people also know Nick as the creator of the wildly popular "NJ Angry Driver" Instagram page, where dashcam footage and his signature commentary capture the daily chaos of driving in the Garden State. While the videos have built a loyal following among frustrated commuters, the mission is simple: entertain people, get a few laughs, and remind everyone to be a little safer behind the wheel.
In this episode of The Suffering Podcast, Nick shares stories from a lifetime of public service, the lessons learned from leading through crisis, the transition from firefighter to entrepreneur, and how humor—even in the middle of New Jersey traffic—can bring people together. It's a conversation about service, leadership, family, resilience, and finding purpose long after the uniform comes off.
Find Nick
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/njangrydriver/
Find The Suffering Podcast
The Suffering Podcast Website
The Suffering Podcast Instagram
Kevin Donaldson Instagram
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr
August 16 Episode 296: The Suffering of a Hitman's Daughter with Linda Scarpa
Linda Scarpa grew up loving her father. The rest of the world knew him as one of the most feared men in organized crime.
As the daughter of notorious Colombo crime family hit man and FBI informant Gregory Scarpa Sr., Linda lived a life few could imagine. Behind closed doors, she knew him as a devoted father and family man. Outside the home, he was a violent enforcer whose actions left a trail of fear, bloodshed, and unanswered questions. Reconciling those two realities has shaped Linda's entire life.
Linda shares her extraordinary story in The Mafia Hit Man's Daughter, co-written with Linda Rosencrance. More than a true-crime memoir, the book explores the emotional cost of growing up in the shadow of organized crime. It is a deeply personal story about family loyalty, betrayal, love, loss, identity, honor, and the lifelong struggle to separate the man she loved as her father from the man the world feared.
Her story extends far beyond the pages of her book. Linda has appeared on I Married a Mobster in the popular two-part episode "Daddy's Girl," and has been featured on programs including The Joy Behar Show, The Ricky Lake Show, Mafia Women with Trevor McDonald, and Evil Lives Here. Her life has also been profiled by major media outlets including Newsweek, New York Post, Daily Mail, News Corp Australia, Men's Journal, and numerous other publications.
In this episode of The Suffering Podcast, Linda opens up about what it was really like to grow up as the daughter of one of America's most infamous mob figures. This conversation goes beyond organized crime, revealing the emotional weight of loving someone capable of unimaginable violence and the lasting impact that family secrets, trauma, and unconditional love can leave on a person's life.
Find Linda Scarpa
Website
https://www.lindascarpa.com/

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 2 min
August 09 Episode 295: The Suffering of a Homicide Detective with Tony Bova
For more than 20 years, Tony Bova served in law enforcement and emergency medical services, spending much of his career as a State Police Homicide Detective. When lives were shattered and families needed answers, Tony was the person people trusted to remain calm under unimaginable pressure.
What few people saw, however, was the personal cost of carrying that responsibility. While he excelled in one of the most demanding professions imaginable, Tony struggled with the same challenges that affect so many high-performing men—finding balance between professional success and personal fulfillment. The strength that made him effective on the job didn't automatically translate into healthy relationships or peace at home.
After confronting his own failures and rebuilding his life, Tony transformed those hard-earned lessons into a new purpose. Today, alongside his partner Sabrina, he co-founded Respect Gains, where they help high-achieving men strengthen their relationships, reconnect with their families, and become the leaders at home that they already are in their careers.
Tony often says he earned a "PhD in relationship failure" the hard way—and it's that honesty, experience, and transformation that make his message so powerful.
Find Tony Bova
Website
Find The Suffering Podcast
The Suffering Podcast Website
The Suffering Podcast Instagram
Kevin Donaldson Instagram
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
1 hr 16 min
August 02 Episode 294: The Suffering of Domestic Violence Pt 2 with Kelly Sutliff
Part 2 THE CONCLUSION
Kelly Sutliff is a Licensed Professional Counselor, advocate, speaker, and the Founder and Executive Director of Kelly’s K9s, Tails of Courage, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing highly trained personal protection dogs to survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault at no cost. With over 20 years of experience in the mental health field, Kelly has dedicated her career to helping others heal, rebuild, and rediscover their strength. Her work as a psychotherapist, combined with her own lived experience as a survivor, gives her a unique and powerful perspective on trauma, resilience, and empowerment.
After surviving a life changing domestic violence incident in 2019, Kelly transformed her pain into purpose. Her own protection dog, Stella, became a crucial part of reclaiming her safety, independence, and confidence. That bond inspired the creation of Kelly’s K9s, where she now helps other survivors experience that same sense of security and freedom. Her journey has been featured nationally on the television series Toxic: Sleeping With a Stranger on Investigation Discovery and streaming platforms, where she shared her story to raise awareness about domestic violence, survivor safety, and the gaps that still exist within the system.
Today, Kelly continues to turn survival into action through advocacy, education, and her work with both people and dogs. She speaks openly about domestic violence, healing after trauma, and the importance of empowering survivors beyond simply surviving. Through Kelly’s K9s, her clinical work, and her public advocacy, Kelly’s mission is to change the conversation around survivor support and prove that even from the darkest chapters, strength, purpose, and courage can rise.

Links:
www.kellysk9s.org
IG- @real_talk_with_kelly
IG- @kellys_k9s_tailsofcourage

Find The Suffering Podcast
The Suffering Podcast Website
The Suffering Podcast Instagram
Kevin Donaldson Instagram
Apple Podcast
Spotify

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
52 min

About The Suffering Podcast

From the publisher's feed

Adversity is the common thread throughout the lives of all living human beings. This human condition can either make us or break us. Nothing great comes easy and it's the overcoming of adversity…