The Therapist Perspective

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Consent is a very important aspect of a relationship.  Consent means that we respect each other's boundaries.  However there are many situations in which consent is not respected.  In this podcast episode I discuss the value of men's ability to respect consent that has been granted and consent that was not given.   We all benefit when men are able to manage their impulses and take no for an answer.  

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As men we spend our lives being taught that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness.  In this episode I talk about the consequences of reinforcing unhealthy messages about men and their emotions.  The better we get at understanding and expressing emotions, the better our relationships feel.   

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Is fairness in a relationship even possible?   Yes, it's definitely possible.  Fair relationships are not about scorekeeping.   A relatioship is fair when each person feels a sense of balance in the relationship.
In this episode my wife and I discuss the concept of fairness in relationships.  We discuss the primary mistakes that couples make when trying to establish fairness.  We also provide valuable feedback on healthy ways to create a relationship that feels fair and balanced.  

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Maturity does not come with age.   

To be truly mature you will need to know what it means to be emotinally mature.  A person that can self-regulate, respond and not react, and knows their values is a mature person.  Listen and learn about what immature people do and how to work on yourself.   It may be the difference between living your life and repeating the same mistakes.  

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How do you know if your family is healthy or unhealthy?  Many people don't realize that they grew up in an unhealthy family.  We tend to look at our upbringing as normal since it's what we were accustomed to.  
In this episode I  go over  the possible consequences growing up in a fundamentally unhealthy family.
Understanding the effects of our upbringing can set us up to do better with the next generation.  

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Arguments are a part of most relationships.   Arguments can be a tool to fine tune the relationship.  Sometimes we might need to have an argument for the sake of repairing  or improving the relationship.
 When we know how to argue more effectively we can avoid unnecessary pain and damage to the relationship.  In this episode you will learn how to hold yourself into account and how to reduce the intensity and amount of arguments.  

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Long lasting happy relationships are hard to come by.  It seems like most people don't really know how to create a healthy relationship with their partner.    Some people dedicate years and invest their lives to creating a good relationship.  But unfortunately too many relationships fall apart.  In this episode I talk about four significant factors that contribute to unhealthy relationships.  Listen and assess your role in your relationship.

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Parenting can be tricky.  It would be nice if each child came with their own instruction manual.  We try to avoid some of the mistakes that we feel our parents made.   However,  avoiding a repeat of our experience is not always the best way to raise our children.  This podcast will go over things to consider when raising children with different needs.   That way we can increase the likelihood that we are raising well rounded and secure children.  

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When you have a conflict, how do you normally handle it?  Do you attack, avoid, or accommodate.  In this episode I talk about different tendencies that we have when confronted with conflicting situations.  It would be good to understand your tendencies.  It can make a difference in how you are perceived in your relationships.  

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How should we deal with unreasonable or difficulty people?  And what if the difficult person is a loved one?  My wife Ruby and I discuss important concepts and strategies about how to better navigate people in your life that take up a lot of your energy,  from the cashier at the market to you own parent.