Listener discretion advised — you must be at least 1.4m tall (and slightly unhinged) to ride “The Thorpe Park Scandal,” brought to you by the white-knuckle twins, Big Pappa J and The Notorious FA-TT. 🎢

This episode kicks off with Thoughts of the Week, where we somehow get way too excited about the London’s Burning intro and launch a full-blown MeToo movement about the price of tea — all soundtracked by “Enough is Enough” by Hot Chocolate, obviously. ☕🔥

The lads then spiral into another round of Old Man Rants, moaning about how cheap everything was in the 90s before accidentally starting an inflation awareness campaign. Please show your support by signing our very real GOV.UK petition.

Things only get more unprofessional from there with Shag, Marry, Kill: Office Edition, and as always, we’re giving back to the community — every loyal listener who DMs us their address will receive a Scotch Egg and an orgasm. (Terms and conditions may apply. Probably.) 🥚❤️

So buckle up, hold tight, and keep your hands inside the carriage — this one’s a rollercoaster.