The Thriving Man Podcast

We used to love watching "Extreme Home Makeover" as a family on Sunday nights. It was incredible to see a house transformed or built in just a week. Imagine if change in our own lives could happen that quickly!

But the truth is, it doesn't work that way. Even those shows don’t show the countless hours of preparation and the many people involved in the process. If we want to see real transformation in our lives, we need certain key elements. That’s what we’re discussing in today’s show. So, “Move that Bus!” and tune in!

• People who excel in things are passionate about it
• If you want to change your life, you have to want to do it
• You have to have a desire and a motivation to make it happen
• The desire has to move past momentary feelings
• We have to find our way and internalize our desire or our transformation will be short-lived or won’t even start

• If we want to see change in our lives it will take work on our part
• We can learn things from people but we still have to do the work
• This means we will often crawl before we walk
• Not everything comes easy
• Get rid of the expectation to be instantly good at something and decide to go on the journey

• Transformation is a life-long process and we are never done
• There isn’t a finish line in life
• Retirement isn’t a finish line
• There is always something for you to grow and transform in
• When you decide that you are on a journey, you can relax and enjoy it

• What is an area you need to do transformative work in? Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual?
• What is the first step you need to take?
• Take it then take the second step and so forth
• Start the journey and plan to stay in it for the long haul

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

• Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD

The inward journey is often one of the last adventures men will go on. For some reason, we find it easier to take on the world than we do to take on ourselves. The danger for us is not going on the inward journey. When we don’t we become men who obey our low-level appetites, this has been obvious throughout history.

We must build our inner character as men or we will allow outside influences to control and dominate us. Our strength begins on the inside; to tap into it, we must go on the inward journey.

• The ability to understand what we think and feel
• This takes work=reflection.
• It moves us past our animalistic tendencies
• Reflection can also help us wrestle with our purpose and our meaning

• Reason 1: It takes time and effort which is why so many men don’t do it
• There aren’t quick wins, but long protracted struggles
• We tend as men to think outside things will change us on the inside
• Reason 2: It’s not very flattering
• Ignorance is bliss. (Procrastination)
• Reason 3: It isn’t laid out for us clearly
• We like structure. Whether it’s sports, video games, or playing music; we want to know the rules so we can win.
• Because every person is different, the inward journey will look different for everyone. Even how we start will vary.

• The inward journey isn’t something you can do in a session
• It is a practice you have to make a habit. Think of it as a skill that takes time to build and maintain.
• Reflection isn’t something we often feel like we have time to do
• Reflection is a learned habit
• You are never done but you get to new levels of understanding and openness
• This makes your life more meaningful and your relationships deeper

• Start doing something to learn how to reflect
• A time of prayer each day, reading the daily proverb and then praying over it to see how it applies
• Journaling a few times a week - not a diary, but a place to put what is happening in your mind, writing is processing
• Get a group of guys together for deep discussions (friends who are connected and want to do the same thing)

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

• Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD

One of the things you notice about great athletes and businessmen is they often take things personally. Whenever Michael Jordan felt disrespected by someone, he would become a beast and dominate. Why was this? Because he took it personally.

We need to learn a lesson from this. Our growth won’t happen unless we internalize it. We have to take it personally if we are going to do something about it. We will talk about how to do that on today’s show.

We must change our focus on ourselves and quit worrying about others and what they do.

There are many ways to achieve a goal. But which one is YOUR way?

There are many things people value, but what are YOUR values?

We have to make sure we don’t become collectors of ideas who never implement those ideas

We won’t grow if we don’t apply the things we learn into our lives

The pressure to be everything to everyone is something many men deal with

When you aren’t growing, you start many things but never finish because you aren’t making them personal

When you are picking and growing in something, you can focus and not get distracted by other things

Seasonal growth makes growth sustainable for the long-term

Pick an application and do it this week for something you already know you want/need to do. What is one area you know you need to grow in but you haven’t done it yet?

Exercise, nutrition, reading, sleeping, mobility work, praying, bible reading, etc….

Pick one and for the next 7 days apply it each day

This helps you start to internalize and make growth personal

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD

Have you ever had something you wore that fit perfectly? That feeling is like no other. You are confident and you feel great every time you wear it. Why is that? Because it fits you perfectly. When you get clothes that are tailor-made or feel like it, you feel incredible.

The same thing happens with our minds. When we build a mindset that fits us, we feel more confident and can positively move through life no matter the circumstances.

This week’s show discusses how to create our own tailored mindset. A mindset that isn’t someone else’s but is ours and we take ownership of it.

Is the life you’re living yours or someone else’s?

Be honest about your motivation

Outside success shouldn’t define us

“Success is when those that are closest to you love you and think the most of you.” -John Maxwell

What will I be happy about at 75?

What do you read, and watch? Who do you follow?

Our input matters

How are you stretching yourself?

Trying new things, pushing yourself in some way

Many men learn stuff but they don’t implement it

We want to practice what we are learning in every area of our lives

Understand that practice helps you get better, but it isn’t perfection

The only way you do something right is to practice

Football teams practice, Golfers practice, Singers practice, etc…

Build a practice mindset in your life

Where are you in your life?

Are you creating your life or surviving?

Start by defining what a successful life is

What will you be happy you did at 75?

Then build backwards

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD

What do kids want in a family? The interesting thing is they are too young to know. They will come up with all kinds of answers that are often hilarious. However, if you dig deep, you find out that kids want parents who are constant, consistent, and calm.

This is the coolest thing you can do for your family. Too many parents today want to be “liked” or focus their whole lives on their kids. This isn’t good because it puts the kids in charge and they become the center of the family. Their mindset will get messed up and they will think they are the center of the universe.

What kids want and what they need are two different things and it's up to you to work to give them what they need instead of what they want. Yep, this means we have to do the work, but we are men and that’s what we do.

• Kids want constant predictable parents
• This doesn’t mean boring, but not full of drama
• Their life has good routines and the kids are included
• They want parents who love them and love each other
• This constant love feeds their life
• They want parents who act consistent and don’t “change” when the kid’s friends are around or when they get around other adults

• We should be present at our current age and love life where we are as adults
• Own the fact that you are a dad and embrace it
• If all you talk about are the “good old days” you are communicating that becoming an adult stinks
• Let them know that as they get older they gain wisdom and that is better than being young
• This means we may have to do things to work on our lives and fix it
• If you need help in areas of your life, get the help, and don’t expect your child to “fix” you or to live through them

• Let them see that you are not living on emotional highs and lows
• You should not act like a middle schooler
• Help them see the long-term view of life
• Be empathetic but also help them see the things you have learned
• These stories help them get perspective on where they are at
• Tell the stories before they need them so they can remember them
• Be the adult. They need your love and empathy, but they don’t need you to jump on the emotional roller coaster with them

• Do you need to be more constant, consistent, or calm?
• Pick one area to focus on so you can grow and improve as a parent

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

• Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD

What would you consider a successful child? What if your child was a well-known child star making millions of dollars, is that a successful child? Well, if you look at the history of child stars, I would say probably not. Many of those kids get messed up. The problem is often not them but the parents living through them.

As dads, we are responsible for raising successful kids, but how do we define that?

On today’s show, we talk through what real success looks like for our kids and it has nothing to do with money or jobs but has to do with each child having a strong inward foundation.

Security Focuses Success

Success with security is something that kids can enjoy, but it doesn’t control them

Insecure kids (and adults for that matter) “need” success to prove who they are

Security helps success develop positive fruit and not mess a kid up

Success without Security is Destructive

When kids need success, they will always feel insecure even when they have success

They will be willing to change who they are and what they do if they think it will make them more successful and accepted

2 Keys to Building Security

1) Let them be Secure in Your Love

Your love should never be conditional or based upon their behavior

Love is part of discipline and rules

Love speaks life into them and doesn’t manipulate or control them

2) Let them be Secure in Your Support

Support your kids in who they are more than what they do

Give them opportunities and support them in their areas of interest

Don’t live through them or make them love what you love

Communicate that their activities or performances do not earn your love

Your goal is for them to be the best version of themselves

How are you building the security of your children?

Are you success-based and teaching them that accomplishments are the purpose of life?

Pick one area to build your kids up in and focus on it

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD

One of the toughest things to go through for many marriages is when the kids leave the house. Too many couples struggle because the marriage got put on the back burner and the kids were the center of the marriage. Unfortunately for many of these couples divorce happens. Why is that? It is often because the priority of the marriage got lost.

One of the best things we can do as men to have a strong family is to work on our marriage. The marriage is the foundation of the family. When a marriage is healthy and strong, the kids will be more secure and stable. When the marriage is weak, the kids will often suffer for it.

On this week’s show, we talk about the importance of marriage and what we can do to make it stronger. It is one of the best things you can do to be a great father.

• You and your wife are the family
• Your kids are a welcome part of the family, but they will leave
• Your relationship with your wife is the key to being a good dad
• The more secure your relationship is the more secure your children will be

• You must be a dad who constantly pursues the relationship with your wife
• Then you pursue the relationship with your kids
• Dads are the instigators of relationships
• Pursuit isn’t control it is bridge-building
• Every man should be a student of his wife and his children
• Get to know them as individuals and you can connect with them better

• Write out 5 things you can do to start building a better relationship with your wife
• Get creative and don’t be lazy

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

• Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD

If you look on TV or in the movies you see that dads are not often presented in the best light. They are often idiots or jerks. They do this because of the reality that dad issues drive many problems in people's lives. This is why being a good dad is so important.

Many men think being a great dad is something that “other” guys do but it is too hard for them. The truth is very different! Every man can be a great dad, but it will take work. Being a great dad doesn’t happen by accident.

Today’s show focuses on the number one decision men can make that helps them be a great dad.

Take Responsibility

Before you can be responsible for others, You need to recognize that you are responsible for yourself.

Your growth isn’t something you can push off on others

You can’t blame a schedule or job

It’s a matter of priorities.

The Core 4

Growing in the 4 fundamentals: Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual is important

You can’t be lopsided in your lifestyle

Your commitment to your growth is a commitment to your loved ones

Lack of emotional growth = less connection with wife and kids as they get older

Failure Isn’t Final

Even if you’ve blown it, you're still here to overcome

Growth is a matter of direction, not arrival.

Intentions vs Intentionality

Talking doesn’t help, start doing one thing

Being a Great Dad takes you committing to be a great man

Quit waiting for perfection and get moving

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

• Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD

We have been traveling a lot this month and thought playing a popular episode again would be good. This episode deals with one of the key ways we avoid the uncomfortable. We escape. Escapism is a way of actively giving up and we help you deal with it in this episode.

When things are hard or uncomfortable many of us give up but in an active way. We don’t quit but focus on other areas of our lives to avoid the hard areas. This happens especially when we feel confused or insecure.

In this episode, we talk about what actively giving up looks like and how we can change our focus to achieve success.

What Actively Giving Up Looks Like:

-Busyness

-Escapism

How to Overcome:

-Truth

-Challenge

What areas of your life are you avoiding?

Pick one area to lean into and start working on.

Don't try to fix every area in your life but focus all your energy on one area at a time.

This will build up endurance for future areas.

Enjoy!

David & Reese Maxwell

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

• Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD

We are nerds in many different ways. One of the big things we do is get into long discussions about anime and movies. We discuss the character arcs and how they develop as people and what they do to show that in the shows. After the movies, we talk through our favorite parts and what made it memorable for us. This makes shows and moves more interesting to us.

The Bible is designed to be something you can dig through your whole life and keep finding amazing things. God gave us the Word so we would dig into it and mine out the truths and wisdom it has for us. When we approach the Bible with the attitude of digging into it, we discover greater truths and develop the way God intended us to.

We should approach the Bible with a sense of wonder, like digging for Gold. Proverbs says to seek wisdom as for silver and gold We are digging for treasure as we dig into the Bible.

• Find the obvious truths and lessons the Bible contains.
• See how all the books of the bible work together.
• The Bible is meant to be read and reread over our entire lives.
• The more knowledge of the Bible, the more we can grow in God.
• We can’t grow in God without knowing His Word.
• Prayer and the Bible go together.

• We must understand that there is more for us in the Bible rather than the surface.
• The Bible isn’t just for professionals, it's for all of us.
• As men who lead, we need wisdom for life and the Bible offers it to us.
• Misinterpretations of the Bible often come from people only reading for face value without digging, praying, and understanding the context.

• Be patient with yourself as you start the process
• Pay attention and look for the deeper truth.
• Get study materials to help you along the way
• Be willing to reflect and take the time to think about it.
• “Knowledge comes quickly, but wisdom grows slowly.”

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU THRIVE AS A MAN

========================

Thriving Man Coaching Resources

4D MODEL FREE PDF

• Learn about the 4 fundamentals of a Successful Life

Discover OUR SPEAKING AND HOW WE HAVE EMPOWERED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD