But...you experience quite the opposite from them and want to roll your eyes every time you hear how AMAZING this person is.

What in the world do we do when someone wears a mask that everyone believes, but their treatment of you and behavior around you is vicious, abusive or even demented?

To some degree we have all seen or even experienced this maddening situation...so more and in worse ways than others.

I get it, believe me. Listen in for examples and experiences as well as TOOLS for navigating this problematic part of doing life with people who can be as dysfunctional as it gets! There are things we can do in the midst of it as well as ways to to protect ourselves and even help the situation. The first step is awareness. Knowing who and what you're dealing with is as important as knowing how to handle (and what not to do).

Listen in!

Please feel free to find me on Facebook (Annie Highwater) or email me at [email protected]

In this week's podcast we take a look at what recovery tools we can pick up when someone's complaining and negativity is draining us or wearing us out.

(Or...if it's our own negative outlook).

Listen in for hope and solutions!

When we are stuck in tough situations due to someone else's behavior (or our own), it can feel like we are paralyzed, sinking in quicksand.

Being desperate alongside someone deep in addiction, alcoholism, dysfunction or deception is a painful way of life. It's overwhelming and terrifying.

There is no one size fits all answer. But there are solutions.

Listen to this short episode to hear what can be done in the "mean-time."

Quick thoughts along with tools and tips for chaos, conflict and drama...

What are your "Panic Rules"?

Emotional sobriety and tools for navigating high emotion and high (or repeated!) conflict and drama filled people, places and things.

When it comes to conflict, I have to have rules for engagement...here are a few examples!

Good question!

After being lied to, talked about, stolen from, stabbed in the back or betrayed...how do we trust again?

It's a process.

In this week's Unhooked Podcast, tools and tips from recovery... we take a look at shattered trust and how to believe in someone again.

Recording on the anniversary of losing our oldest brother as anguish and grief is fresh on my mind and surging in my memories.

A season of deep grief, pain from someone else's choices, the torment of knowing a truth no one believes...whatever it is; you are not alone.

When it comes to anguish, I know that road by heart. But I also know even as we carry scars and loss... life can become even better than before.

Nothing Changes if nothing changes. So why not change something!

How about starting with your morning routine!?

This was a tool that changed my life when I found myself in a terrible era of crisis, conflict, chaos and no solid plan or structure to handle it much less make ANYTHING better.

This is what I did...try your own version of this for 30 days and no matter what you’re going through - things will start to improve.

Morning Routine:

Wake up a little earlier (10 minutes, a half hour, make it manageable).. Get UP and out of bed! Don’t think about it.

Get on your knees to say a prayer… “God help me” or the Lord’s prayer or whatever you want to make it…

Break a sweat somehow, 50 push-ups, 50 jumping jacks, go for a run, go for a quick walk, do whatever. Just move.

Do something COLD. End your shower cold, or some type of cold plunge or exposure, your face or hands in ice water, etc. This is about pushing through every subconscious pattern and comfort that keeps in our same old rhythms.

Get these early morning breakthroughs with your comfort zone - this sets the day up strong.

Then… eat something healthy..some kind of protein.

And head into your day!

Do it. Don’t think about it, don’t work up the motivation… just do it! It will benefit every area of your life.

What do you do when you don't know what to do? Do the next right thing, add structure. You "Chop wood, carry water."

Try it for 30 days.

How it feels to have a loved one in a struggle with addiction or alcoholism...

Living in a state of chronic stress, panic and worry is destabilizing.

This can extend to include how it feels when it’s other loved ones as well… a spouse or relationship partner, a parent, sibling, a best friend, etc.

This realm of fear and anguish is so incredibly painful and will cause afflictions as well, impacting mental and physical health, expanding into every area of life; from professional, to social. It begins to cast a shadow over everyone and everything.

This is why the parents of a struggling son or daughter need recovery and support too.

There are solutions and support for the family side of the situation just like there are recovery options for anyone struggling with the heavy burden of addiction or alcoholism.

It’s important to know that family members and loved ones (the entourage) die from addiction too. Many develop health problems directly caused by living in constant stress, fear and turmoil.

When it’s been my own loved ones in active drug or alcohol use, that inferno was constantly raging within. Everything in my life was filtered through the lens of this painful state of being. Situations including anything potentially difficult or triggering were weighed against the fact that this was the burden I constantly carried. Always bracing for impact.

Finding my way to rooms and people of support, modalities of therapy that worked for me, faith in a Source greater than it all, combined with healthy and consistent self-care routines was my formula for managing.

This is what carried me through the worst valleys and hardest circumstances ofmy life.

Because that feeling… it’s no way to live.

Doing the work to recover and to be as calm, logical and healthy as possible, while trusting in Who your faith is in and navigating it one day at a time (one hour at a time some days) only…

These are the steps and tools that help.

Managing it is a process. There are people, places, things and practices that can help.

If you are living your life with this anguish and the burden of stress, fear and heartache it causes… you’re not alone. Don’t navigate this path in isolation, there are ways to manage it that provide hope and even affect the situation for the better.

We don’t have to lose our mind or wreck our health even when everything around us seems to be burning to the ground. Recovery works and it’s for everyone, just have to find your people, practices and processes. They exist!

If you don’t have a “room,” you’re welcome to come to one of mine. Please feel free to message or email me (email: [email protected]) even it’s it’s just that you need someone to remind you that you’re not alone and that how you feel matters.

While you’re “looking for your keys” (so to speak) you may find some peace and relief. And you might even find some new supportive friends who understand.

Peace, hope and recovery are possible.

If you didn't listen to the first part of the conversation with Ben just before this 2nd half, you can go back and hear it now!

OR jump right in to this episode for an interesting conversation about healing your life, why it takes some people longer to wake up to becoming healthy (and why some may never)... how to be real with what you face and how people may trigger you.

Social trauma is real! Our mind can make thoughts about it explode.

I always find it raw, authentic and helpful when hashing things out with a like minded people who strive to better themselves and keep it real when navigating life!

Check it out!

Bringing back a favorite, "My brother's friend Ben" is back with us today as we discuss experiences, strength and hope from some of the most trying times of life!

Listen to Part 1 and email your thoughts to:

[email protected]