The Unlock Lab

"I don’t believe we can heal things we don’t understand"-Stacey Uhrig

We often think of trauma as the big, explosive events: war, violence, or catastrophe. But what about the paper cuts?.

What about the relentless pressure of "not enoughness" that accumulates over decades?.

In this episode, I sit down with Stacey Uhrig, a Trauma Recovery Coach who helps people flip their mindset. We aren't just talking about "soft skills" here; we are talking about the essential Human Skills required to lead yourself and others when the ground falls out from under you. 

Stacey shares her deeply personal story of the 2012 financial collapse that decimated her family business and left her facing a "Defcon 10" level of stress. She lost her savings, her security, and her peace of mind. But in that darkness, she found a whisper. She found a micro-practice of gratitude that pulled her back from the edge, one hour at a time.

Tune in to learn how you might be bypassing your own needs and operating from a dysregulated nervous system , so that you can finally release the invisible brakes holding you back and lead with genuine clarity and peace.

This conversation is for the high-achiever who feels like they are pushing a boulder up a hill every single day. If you are successful on paper but exhausted in spirit, this is your permission slip to stop, get curious, and listen to what your body has been screaming at you. 🦉

Episode Highlights:

• Defining the Wound: Why trauma isn't just what happened to you; it’s also what didn't happen (like emotional neglect) and how you adapted to survive it.

• The "Hurt" Assessment: Stacey explains her tool for identifying the healing unresolved roots of trauma (HURRT) and why standard ACE scores miss the mark for many high-performers.

• Generational Baggage: A fascinating look at epigenetics and how the stress your grandmother felt could be living in your nervous system today.

• The Body Keeps the Score: Stacey opens up about her autoimmune diagnoses (Endometriosis, Raynaud’s, RA) and how she put her RA into remission by combining medical treatment with deep somatic release.

• Micro-Gratitude: The specific, no-cost strategy Stacey used to rebuild her safety when she had $500 to her name and a family to feed.

• Human Skills > Soft Skills: Why you cannot effectively lead a team or a business until you understand the "parts" of you that are driving the bus.

Quotables:

[02:07:50] "Trauma is the way that you are living to protect yourself from touching that wound."

[03:03:00] "I didn't know that I took for granted that I can pay my bills... I wanted to be grateful for all of it while I had it because I never knew when I would not have it."

[03:23:01] "No one's broken. You just adapted to life in a way that's no longer working for you."

Links and Resources:

Connect with Stacey Uhrig:

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/staceyuhrig

• Website: www.flipyourmindset.com

• HURRT Assessment: www.flipyourmindset.com/hurrt

• 8-week course on healing anxiety: www.flipyourmindset.com/thecalmcode

Book Recommendations from this Episode:

• Break The Cycle by Dr. Mariel Buqué

• It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn

• Bully Market by Jamie Fiore Higgins

• The Myth of Normal by Dr. Gabor Maté

• The Biology of Trauma by Dr. Aimie Apigian

• Find them all here: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/book-recommendation

Tosca's Links and Resources:

• Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

• Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com

• Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact

• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/

Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Starting a new year "well" isn't about forced optimism or arbitrary calendar dates; it is about honoring your internal rhythm and finding your footing before you sprint.

For years, I noticed a pattern where my personal "new year" didn't actually kick in until the spring equinox. I used to feel the pressure of expectations and conditioning that I should be excited in January, even when I felt like I was at low tide. Recognizing that new chapters are a gradual transition like the tide coming in rather than a light switch flipping on, changed how I approach my goals.

Tune in to learn how you might be sabotaging your success by rushing past the closure of 2025, so that you can create a sustainable, grounded foundation for the year ahead.

Episode Highlights:

• ​The "Light Switch" Myth: Untangling the belief that a new calendar year means an instant internal shift; recognizing that regression is part of the flow.
• ​The Power of Closure: Noticing which "loose ends" (like unfinished financial tasks or unresolved conversations) are draining your energy and need to be shut down before you move forward.
• ​Finding Your Compass: Why you don't always need a specific destination, but you do need a directional tool—whether that is a word, an affirmation, or a vision board—to keep from getting blown away by the wind.

Quotables:

• ​[00:02:40] "We have the ability to start over every day, every minute, every second, and so we don't have to put pressure on feeling this sense of a new chapter on a particular day."
• ​[00:06:40] "New beginnings can be way more powerful when you've made some intentional actions for closure."
• ​[00:20:25] "I wish for you a start to the year that is coming from the stillness of your heart and not the busyness of your mind."

Tosca's Links and Resources:

• ​Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter
• ​Tosca's Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com
• ​Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact
• ​Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/
• ​Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/

Props for: Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

As another year wraps up, you may find yourself reflecting on what you achieved, what you didn’t, and where you hope to go next. It’s a natural process, but it can easily stir up a voice we know all too well: The Inner Critic. This week’s episode on The Unlock Lab, I address the inner critic that measures your success harshly. I highlight the importance of setting your own measures based on what matters to you rather than what others expect, and how to understand and tame the inner critic through a compassionate and truthful self assessment. This is a reminder to celebrate your achievements and to see your inner critic for what it is - just one part of you trying to keep you protected and safe from disappointment.

Tune in to learn how to reclaim what success means to you, and end the year grounded in trust instead of self-judgment.

Episode Highlights:

1. Shift out of the inner critic negative loop

2. The inner critic rarely considers reality; the unexpected challenges, shifting priorities or global uncertainty that shaped your year. 

3. Reflect on how you have lived this year; did you show up for yourself and others with integrity?

Quotables:

[00:07:54]

"Let's remember that inner critics tell you lies. Let's remember that this work of mastering and shifting our inner critic dialogue is to check for the actual truth. 'Cause your inner critic is feeding you lies, and we're not gonna have it. We're not gonna end our year in despair because our inner critic is running amuck."

[00:12:58]

"As you think about your measures of success, you can ask yourself; What types of things did you prioritize? And you may need to really sit with that for a minute because you are prioritizing and reprioritizing your life every single day. It's constant. And with all the things going on in the world, sometimes the prioritization was just maintaining our sanity and not falling into a deep hole of despair, and that is valid as a priority."

[00:19:12]

"I want you to consider what season have I been in? Was it a season of grief? Was it a season of personal growth and focus on self? Was it a season of giving yourself permission to just be and stop engaging in the hustle culture? Maybe it was a season of building your confidence and going slower and being more assured in your decisions."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com

Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/

Props for:

Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Discernment is the ability to make the best possible choice for yourself - which is the recognition that you have the sovereignty to choose what is truly for you. It took me years to learn how I was giving away my time, energy and resources without being discerning enough. Being selective about which relationships and places you invest in will change the trajectory of your life, because you’ll be in more alignment with what you are worthy of.

Tune in to learn where you might be self abandoning or accepting less than you’re deserving, so that you can honor yourself, your desires and your standards at a new level. And why not start now when we are in the hustle and bustle of holiday time!?

Episode Highlights:

•Untangling yourself from the belief that your connections automatically get unlimited access

•Noticing when you’re saying yes from scarcity (fear of missing out, fear of being lonely, fear of closing a door)

•Learning to trust that when you say no to what’s not aligned so you create space for what will serve you in the long term

Quotables:

[00:04:57]

 “Discernment has been a big word for me for several years because I had this big realization several years ago about who I was allowing in my life and who had the opportunity to have access to me and where I was giving my resources to. And I realized that there was a lot of folks that were getting my time and energy that really hadn't earned a spot there.”

[00:09:29]

“ I would stay on calls well past the point of value. I would stay on to be that support person and to give and to hold space. It was my way of giving and over time I realized I'm just giving away too damn much. It's not about not being generous and it's not about not giving, it's about being discerning about what level of that works for you.”

[00:20:17]

“ As you are moving through this season, as you are recognizing, oh my gosh, we're already several days into December, remember that you get to take your power back. You get to take your time and your energy back through discernment and it's not a selfish act because what is in your best interest is in the best interest of others as well."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com

Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/

Props for:

Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Open wounds in relationships can throw off how we move in the world because it causes us dis-ease not only in our mind, but often in our body too. In this week’s episode, I dig into what it takes to move through relationship unrest when the other person can’t show up, won’t take responsibility, or simply isn’t able to meet you where you are.

It's a big and emotional topic, but finding healing and resolution within yourself holds so much power. Once you stop waiting for an apology or a resolution that may never come, you finally start reclaiming your peace.

I share personal stories about over-giving, ignoring red flags and staying in relationships long after receiving signs that you outgrew them. Tune in to hear how healing comes from taking responsibility for your own emotional process, practicing self-forgiveness, and accepting people exactly as they are, not as you wish they were.

Episode Highlights:

1. Heal without an apology, to take your power back.

2. Healing happens when you feel and release your emotions, not by waiting for time to pass.

3. Recognize your relationship patterns, and what you need to shift to attract what you need now in your life.

Quotables:

[00:06:45]

“ Time does not heal all wounds, what heals all wounds is you actively taking action for your healing. That's what works. Time will pass, but if you're not taking action on finding resolve within yourself around these relationships, it's not just gonna go away on its own.”

[00:10:17]

“ Healing our relationships is a process of self forgiveness. It's also a process of loving the other person through who they are right now, and what their limitations are right now, and this can even include family.”

[00:32:10]

“ One of the things I also wanna leave you with in your relationship healing journey is to ask yourself, do you miss the person or do you miss the idea of who you wish that person could be for you?”

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com

Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/

Props for:

Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

“Think easy” is just one of the mantras and wisdom shared by Vino Nobile winemaker, Niccolò Tiberini. It serves as a reminder to clear the cloud around our choices so we can see what is true.

When I met Niccolò in Tuscany I knew before I left his winery that I had to have him on my podcast. I mean, the Tiberini the tagline is 'deep roots' - need I say more? His life and work are rooted (quite literally) in the vineyards of his seventh generation winery. We talked about his journey from aspiring professional footballer (aka soccer) to choosing a life that prioritizes happiness over money. Through stories about winemaking, travel and navigating change, Niccolò shares his philosophy on simplicity, identity, and creating a life that feels good, even if that means long work days.

Episode Highlights:

1. When things feel complicated - think like child

2. Focus on the solution not the problem

3. Your emotions are more powerful than your pro / con list

4. When you like what you do - you will do your work well

5. Focus on what’s working vs what’s not

6. A measure of success: did I do better today than yesterday?

7. When it comes to change, focus on the best way to leverage those changes

8. Don’t fall in the trap of overthinking; if you’re thinking about change, it’s because you want it

9. Your life is in your control

10. There are no wrong choices. The point is to make one.

Quotables:

[00:06:02] - Niccolò

"For me, it's not important to have a lot of money, but it is important to be satisfied about life and I decided to come back to work in the winery because this is my passion."

[00:38:31] - Niccolò

“If you’re not sure about something, you start looking for justification and when you do that, it’s because you don’t really want it.”

[01:00:27] - Tosca

"What are these connections we can make to this journey of life, of every milestone, of every decision point and coming back to remembering who we are and what our desires are, what our vision is, because that is the truest path. That's what I'm taking away."

Niccolò Tiberini Links

Website: https://tiberiniwine.com/en/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tiberiniwinery/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tiberiniwinery/?locale=it_IT

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com

Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/

Props for:

Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Are you tired of being in your head all the time? Do you overthink and regularly focus on making plans for your next move, but never feel at ease in the moment?

In this week’s episode of The Unlock Lab, I dig into why we default to living from our headspace; old wounds and stress push us to doing what makes us feel in control. This protective habit can leave you feeling disconnected and fatigued. I talk about my journey from constantly overanalyzing to embracing a heart-centered, intuitive approach. I share the rituals I use to connect with my body that keep me grounded and present and out of my head.

As the holiday season approaches, I invite you to join me in making space for presence, honoring your emotions, and reaching out for support when you need it the most.

Episode Highlights:

1. Recognizing when you are operating from your headspace instead of heartspace, and why it matters

2. Simple daily rituals and practices to anchor back into your feelings, body and intuition

3. How to embrace support, presence and heart- centered action, especially during busy or challenging times

Quotables:

[00:06:21]

"It's okay to check in with how I'm feeling and it's okay to check in with my intuition. I realize what I have to do in these moments that I'm living from my head. I have to ask myself, am I doing what I wanna do or what I think I should do?"

[00:08:30]

"Passing the baton is honoring that your brain isn't actually meant to run the show, your body and heart space is. This actually is the way we're intended to live our lives from these spaces. We've just grown so accustomed to doing quite the opposite."

[00:13:40]

"If you're in that overthinking mode and overdoing mode, then my biggest counsel to you is to pass the baton from your head to your heart and to see what happens. Look for the evidence of the magic that happens when you make this shift."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com

Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/

Props for:

Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

Holding onto our confidence is critical to weather the storms that come - and oh do they come! In this week’s episode of The Unlock Lab, I explore what it takes to nurture confidence even when we can't seem to open the doors we are determined to open. Reflecting on my own ongoing journey navigating rejection and resilience, I share nine actionable tips, including reframes that have helped me stay grounded and optimistic. I talk about why confidence is not a fixed state but a continuous practice and how reframing rejection, leaning on community and creating your own opportunities can make all the difference. Tune in to find encouragement and actionable ideas to help you reclaim your power and keep moving forward.

Episode Highlights:

1. Reframing rejection as protection or redirection rather than a personal failure

2. Building internal confidence through self validation and not relying solely on external approval

3. How to create your own opportunities when traditional doors stay closed

Quotables:

[00:08:36]

"I want you to celebrate your bravery and your vulnerability for going after something that maybe wasn't gonna be a surefire win. That celebration, even in the face of rejection is so freaking powerful."

[00:16:03]

 “The real work in staying confident through thick and thin is that you are first and foremost validating yourself and the external validation the external yeses just become the icing on the cake versus the whole damn cake.”

[00:21:17]

"We can't live in the future. We can't live in the past. We have to live in the present. So by honoring that, we can remember, we're okay and we are resilient and we can keep going just in this present moment."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com

Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/

Props for:

Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

In this week’s episode of The Unlock Lab I speak with Roderick Jefferson, a Keynote Speaker & Go To Market Transformation Leader, author and survivor.

Roderick opens up about his career journey, often being 'the only' in the room as a black man in tech and what he sacrificed along the way. He also shares his terrifying health event that shook every part of his life, forcing him to rethink what success really means and the impetus for his book "Stroke of Success".

His journey is not just about overcoming adversity, it’s about finding courage, faith and the deep joy in life’s most important relationships. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the pressures of leadership or caught in the endless hustle, Roderick’s story will touch your heart and inspire you to choose what truly matters.

ABOUT RODERICK

Roderick Jefferson is an internationally recognized business and transformational speaker. He has shared his dynamic and energetic voice in a variety of events, including keynotes, guest lectures, webinars, podcasts, and domain expertise panels, with companies such as the ATD Conference, B2BMX Conference, Cisco, Collibra, LinkedIn, MindTickle, Revasum, Oracle, Sales Assembly Conference, Sales 3.0 Conference, Sales Enablement PRO Conference, Salesforce (Dreamforce), SAP, Seismic, Showpad, SiriusDecisions, Uber, and Zoom.

Roderick is also an acknowledged thought leader in the sales enablement space and the author of the Amazon bestselling book Sales Enablement 3.0: The Blueprint to Sales Enablement Excellence, and Sales 3.0 Companion Workbook.

He has held various executive leadership, sales, sales enablement, operations, and customer experience roles at AT&T, B Marketo, Oracle, Salesforce, and others.

When he's not speaking or working on enablement projects and programs, he can be found perfecting the art of barbecuing or playing bocce in my backyard with his family.

Episode Highlights:

1. Carrying the responsibility of being “the only one,” Roderick turned his challenges into a heartfelt mission to lift others up.

2. The courageous choice to take charge of his career in a way that felt authentic and aligned with his true self.

3. Incredible story of survival - being in the 2%

Quotables:

[00:27:26] - Roderick

"I got a new focus on life and I call it my four Fs. Faith, family, friends, and fun and you know what really sucks is the older we get, that last four fun seems to disappear from our lives because we're too busy living to enjoy being alive."

[00:29:11] - Roderick

"You only get one chance to live and I always think what I used to tell my son, life's not a video game. Once you turn it off, that's it, right but most people don't get a second chance. Find a way to live and find something that you do just for yourself to give yourself some grace, to give yourself an opportunity to close out all the noises of life."

[00:34:33] - Roderick

"I still believe that there are a ton of good people in this world, regardless of what the media would want you, I believe, to believe, and I wanna be one of those good people, not just to be a good guy, but because I firmly believe that empathy and being human will overcome all of the craziness that's going in today's world."

Roderick's Links and Resources:

1. Stroke of Success Book: https://www.roderickjefferson.com/stroke-of-success

2. Sales 3.0 Book Link: https://roderickjefferson.com/book

3. Keynote Speaker Highlight Reel: https://bit.ly/3zRVNJa

4. LinkedIn: https://linktr.ee/roderickjefferson 

5. Podcast Playlist (Spotify): http://bit.ly/4mHhSOv 

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Props for:

• Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

• Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com

How we tell the story of our career shapes how others see us, and plays a huge role in the possibilities for what's next. This episode is inspired by my Talent Development Magazine article “Level Up Your Brand Narrative,” and I dive into what it means to own and evolve your professional story.

I talk about how your personal brand isn’t something you set and forget, but rather an ongoing reflection of your growth. This is why refining your narrative ahead of year end review season can help you feel more confident, clear and ready for conversations about your future.

When you tune in, you'll hear the origin story of how this article came to life, a reminder that being open to unexpected outcomes can lead to opportunities you never imagined. I'll also help you make this process feel lighter by encouraging you to tap into a creative approach to reviewing your journey to date.

Episode Highlights:

1. Six tips for leveling up your brand and narrative

2. Why and how your year end review process can start right now

3. Staying open to unexpected opportunities and changing your mind along the way

Quotables:

[00:09:12]

"The first thing you have to do is make sure that you are asking yourself what needs healing from the past still? What else do I have to let go of? What else do I have to forgive?"

[00:13:41]

"If you're an entrepreneur or you have a side business, review yourself, celebrate yourself, honor where your opportunities are. Honor what you've accomplished and update your resume."

[00:18:01]

"With just about all my clients, we end up doing work around brand narrative because I know that they need a mirror and a reflector to help them see just how powerful they are. And to see the beauty in their journey and the threads and the themes of their journey that they can start talking about themselves in a different way."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Level Up Your Brand Narrative: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/_files/ugd/23d731_1fd2b0e81aee4559b95c21b675639bfe.pdf

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

Tosca’s Website: https://www.toscadimatteo.com

Get in Touch with Tosca: https://www.toscadimatteo.com/contact

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toscadimatteo/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toscadimatteo/

Props for:

Theme music by Adrian DiMatteo https://adriandimatteo.com

Podcast editing by: Landis Podcast Editing https://www.landispodcastediting.com