The Unlock Lab

In this special episode, I share my personal love story, celebrating 15 years of marriage. I take you behind the scenes of our relationship; the highs and the hard lessons and how this journey has helped me grow as a person, partner, and as a leader. I unpack eight key takeaways that apply just as much to leadership as they do to love. This episode is a reflection and an invitation to look at how your closest relationships can spark transformation in every area of life, if you tend to the soil they are rooted in.

Episode Highlights:

1. The power of trusting your body and intuition in decision making.

2. How freedom and commitment can coexist in healthy relationships

3. Eight lessons learned that translate into personal and professional growth.

Quotables:

[00:07:03]

"At the end of the day, I think that our ability to come back and communicate and be honest with each other has been what's allowed us to last as long as we have."

[00:10:57]

"What I want you to take away from this is that you deserve to be loved fully for who you are; flaws included, make up excluded. Feel safe with the one you love."

[00:19:25]

"No matter your commitment, your commitment to somebody else or something else, or an organization, know that you are always free. You are always free in your heart. And let that lead you and let you never forget that."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

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Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week's episode, I talk about something that you are probably doing without knowing it. You may be blocking your own blessings. I share my journey of learning to receive, and releasing the habits that kept me from fully embracing life's abundances. I offer practical advice on how to become more aware of these habits and start embracing the generous offers and support from others. If you've ever felt like you're giving too much, saying no too often or shielding yourself from vulnerability, this one's for you. When we open the door to receive it is a huge pathway to professional breakthroughs as well - because it helps us to remain open to opportunities and connection.

Episode Highlights:

1. The most common ways we block blessings and how to stop them

2. The emotional roots of self sabotage, like unworthiness and perfectionism

3. Daily practices to become more open to receiving and living in alignment with abundance

Quotables:

[00:05:37]

"If you are overgiving, you are leaving no space for people to contribute. That means you are blocking your blessings, and you may never know what could have been possible because you are not leaving that space."

[00:18:02]

"When you look deeply at our habits of blocking our blessings, it's putting up walls. Perhaps feeling not worthy of what's being presented to us."

[00:24:28]

"Maybe what the other person needs is an opportunity to be generous, an opportunity to express gratitude. Perhaps the other person is in the process of their growth of being. So when you allow that exchange, it's a gift not just to yourself, but it's a gift to the other person too."

This episode is sponsored by: Tosca Coaching and Consulting

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

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Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week I dive deep into one of the most powerful yet overlooked tools for personal growth: asking ourselves 'what do I need?' This episode is all about acknowledging that you are worthy of having your needs met. I share stories about my own therapy breakthroughs, treadmill revelations, and health wake-up calls. I also share practical ways to start meeting your needs as this is a huge unlock for how to get unstuck in whatever emotional wave, or less-than ideal situation you may be spinning in.

Episode Highlights:

1. Why asking 'What do I need?' is a game changer and why it can be so hard

2. What it can look like to honor your needs in the moment

3. How our bodies speak the truth when we ignore what we truly need

4. The way vulnerability and needs are connected

Quotables:

[00:03:48]

"I want you to feel what you're feeling. Let those emotions come up. Because emotions are energy in motion, and if you help them to keep moving, they will transform."

[00:16:23]

"Giving yourself what you need might literally mean I'm taking a vacation, I'm giving myself what I need, but it also might mean I need to ask somebody else to help me fill this need that I have."

[00:22:40]

"When we're not in the habit of really asking ourselves what our body needs, we can end up in a situation where our body is literally screaming at us and saying, Hey, you can't ignore this anymore."

This episode is generously sponsored by: Mindset Migraine

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Use the code TOSCA for a new customer discount

Song referenced in episode:

The Daily Grind by Adrian DiMatteo

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Giving Flowers :

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week's episode of The Unlock Lab, I talk about the food inner critic, that nagging voice so many of us deal with when it comes to eating and our food choices. This is something I've battled with myself as I grew up in a household with deep associations with food (some good and some not so good). Then, my inner critic became even louder once I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 22. Tune in to discover what may lie under the surface of your inner critic. Learn some of my biggest tips for how to shift your relationship with this voice that is not only draining your energy, but dragging you down keeping you from what's most important - your joy! My hope is to help you move towards a healthier, more compassionate relationship with your food inner critic.

Episode Highlights:

1. How childhood shame and a Type 1 diabetes diagnosis shaped my food story

2. Tools to shift your relationship with food, including self talk awareness, journaling and redefining what food means to you

3. The impact of cultural and moral beliefs on how we view food

Quotables:

[00:02:28]

"I am someone who has struggled with my food, inner critic for much of my life and this episode is an attempt to bring to light this inner critic that is so prevalent for so many people."

[00:17:37]

"Paying attention to what you're saying to yourself can lead to a shift for a few reasons. It can lead to a shift because it becomes easier to make a new choice about what you want to say to yourself instead, but it can also help you realize how are you draining your own energy or your own life force by saying things that are unkind or untrue."

[00:22:23]

"Journaling questions so that you can get under the surface of what has become so instinctual and habitualize.: You can ask yourself, what are your beliefs around food? What are your beliefs around what it is, what it represents in your life? And then you can ask yourself, what do you want your relationship with food to be?"

Episode Sponsored by:

The New Body Project

(use code TOSCA to unlock a free week of unlimited classes with your trial session)

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

Tosca’s Website

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Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week I take a closer look at inner confidence, why self validation matters and how relying on external approval can hold you back. I share practical tips to help you build authentic confidence, like setting boundaries, protecting yourself from negative energy, journaling and creating moments of stillness and reflection. I break down the difference between self worth and self confidence with the help of Jamie Kern Lima (from her book WORTHY), and highlight how facing your fears and resistance is key to building self trust.

Episode Highlights:

1. Why confidence isn't something to fix but something to uncover.

2. The surprising power of stillness, silence and intentional action in rebuilding confidence.

3. How to recognize and break fee from outdated narratives that erode self belief.

Quotables:

[00:04:28]

“What I think that confidence really is, it's about honoring that you know the truth about who you are and what you are capable of."

[00:09:48]

"At the core of what happens when we lose our confidence is that we forget who we are, we are often running on outdated narratives and when we have gone down the spiral of self doubt, and are losing our confidence is that we let what happens to us define who we are"

[00:25:06]

"What we truly believe about ourselves is what enables our inner confidence to shine through, and I believe that the biggest work around this is actually in removing the obstacles to seeing our truth."

Episode Sponsored by:

Atrium82

(Mention Tosca and you will receive a special gift when you book)

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

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Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week I talk about what it looks like to upgrade your personal brand; not just the glossy parts, but the messy, real, and deeply personal journey behind it. I share how I navigated reworking my messaging, investing in a new website and photos, and digging into the truth of who I am today as a speaker and business owner. Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, deep in your entrepreneurial path, or thinking about your legacy, personal branding is about playing the long game, and it's one you deserve to enjoy and love. I mean - when you love you - the rest becomes magic! I'm sharing my lessons, missteps, and wins so that you can feel validated, inspired, and empowered to take the next step with your own brand.

Episode Highlights:

1. Why personal branding isn’t just for entrepreneurs, it’s essential for anyone who wants to manage their career narrative with intention and authenticity.

2. My recent rebranding journey: from reimagining my website and getting new photos, to finding messaging that feels aligned with the next chapter of my business.

3. Advice about trusting yourself, investing before you feel ready, and why your brand is a living, breathing reflection of your evolution.

Quotables:

[00:04:33]

"Brands aren't static and we're constantly evolving it, and that is definitely the case for me. I'm always making updates, whether it's my bio, my descriptions on my social channels, like you name it. There is always something that I'm updating."

[00:25:26]

"Your personal brand is really about the long game, even if you're listening to this and you're not looking for your next opportunity, or you're not looking for your next client. Personal branding is still something to be active and proactive about because there will come a day where you will need someone to know your name."

[00:26:55]

"I love helping people with their brands because when we see ourselves, it makes us feel really good. It helps boost our confidence to say, right, that's what I do. That's who I am. That's what I believe in. That's the aesthetic that lights me up."

Episode Sponsored by:

The New Body Project

(use code TOSCA to unlock a free week of unlimited classes with your trial session)

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: http://toscadimatteo.com/newsletter

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Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

In this week’s episode, I talk about what happens after the inner critic gets quieter, when the noise dies down and we’re left with space. The question becomes: what do I fill that space with? I share a story from a client who had done the work of naming and setting boundaries with her inner critic, but found herself unsure of how to bring in something new. That moment sparked this episode. I walk through some of the ways we can start bringing in more of the good stuff, things like affirmations, music, small rituals, joy, creativity, and connection. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about choosing what you let in when you’ve finally made space for something better.

Episode Highlights:

1. What it looks like to shift from quieting the inner critic to inviting in something new

2. Tools for building yourself back up

3. How creativity, music, and community support the healing process

Quotables:

[00:04:59]

"After you've said, no Negative Nancy, I'm not listening to you today. You are no longer needed here, then what you can do is say, I am manifesting magic in my life every day so that you come back to the truth, you come back to what it is that you want for yourself."

[00:07:22]

"Listening to music can also be a tactic for drowning out your inner critic narrative when it's really loud. Because when you're listening to loud music, you kind of can't think about much else."

[00:15:22]

"It is important to allow others to be our cheerleader for us at the same time where we are building the muscle for ourselves. And so I invite you to ask yourself, what is the goodness that I wanna bring into my life proactively?"

This episode sponsored by:

Atrium82

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

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Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week’s episode is for anyone who’s ever felt that tug of war about whether or not to go to a networking thing. I’m talking about why it can feel so hard, even when we know it might actually help us. Whether you’re job hunting, prospecting for clients, or just thinking about saying yes to a social invite, the inner critic loves to chime in with stuff like, “You don’t belong,” “It’s gonna be draining,” or “You’ll feel like an outsider.” I share a few stories from my own life, ones that break down how past experiences shape the way we show up now.

Episode Highlights:

1. The inner critic narratives that shut us down before we even show up.

2. How I relate to connection and how I’ve reframed those experiences.

3. Simple practice to separate truth from inner critic noise, to show up more aligned and less transactional.

Quotables:

[00:06:02]

"We have to really make space for possibility because our inner critic tells us things in such definitive terms, like it will be this. This is what exactly is gonna happen. And our inner critic can't predict the future. So we have to be very mindful when we hear things like absolutes in the messages that we're telling ourselves."

[00:15:30]

"Maybe the word 'Networking' itself is triggering to you. I know it definitely can be triggering to people, so maybe you might wanna consider what, maybe I need to reframe, what's the word I want to use instead of networking so that I'm not bringing the baggage of what that networking word means to me."

[00:18:13]

"Maybe your goal is to just go l, and just going is the success metric. Maybe it's, you know what? I just wanna meet one person that I vibe with while I'm there that may extend to a conversation outside of that event."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

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Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This week's episode is a masterclass in people-centered leadership. I sit down with the insightful and generous Brian Rollo, a leadership coach and consultant whose journey from bank repo man to transformative leader will absolutely leave you inspired. We talk about what it really means to lead, not from power or process, but from a place of deep empathy, curiosity, and commitment. Brian walks us through his Point-To-Point framework for leadership and shares why “kill the monsters when they’re small” might be your new go-to mantra. If you’ve ever struggled with how to lead others (or yourself), this episode is packed with stories, tools, and perspective shifts you won’t want to miss.

Brian Rollo is the founder of Brian Rollo Consulting Group and a leadership expert known for helping teams create real, lasting impact. After years managing hundreds of employees in corporate, he became obsessed with one question: how do you lead so people love to follow? Now, through keynotes, coaching, and workshops, Brian partners with forward-thinking companies across the country to build leaders who lead with authenticity, purpose, and real influence. He’s also the author of The 10 Habits of Influential Leaders, a go-to resource for anyone ready to ditch the title and lead through connection.

Episode Highlights:

1. Why Brian’s toughest leadership lesson started with a resignation letter

2. The POINT TO POINT leadership model: how to go from procedural to transformational

3. How to stop managing and start leading on purpose

Quotables:

[00:14:43] - Brian

"In my experience, it all boils down to one thing. Leadership is about taking somebody else or seeing somebody else that is in one state, a less than optimal state, and guiding them to a better state. That is it. That is leadership and if you wanna say you have led somebody, you have to do it. It's part of the process."

[0052:00] - Tosca

"Being aware of the choices that you're making and are you just, playing to the beat of the drum that's been going on forever and ever? Or are you making choices that honor what you're trying to achieve?"

[01:06:51] - Brian

"Be authentic to your values. Like if you value connection with people, if you value honesty, if you value integrity, if you value humor, whatever it is you value, be true to that. But realize sometimes you might need to vary up your approach to stay true to that value."

Brian Rollo's Links:

Free Resource: 1:1 Conversation Combo Doc

Free Quiz: Leadership Assessment

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Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/

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Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

This episode is for anyone who’s ever gone after something big and didn’t get the outcome they wanted. I’m walking you through what happened when I didn’t move on in a storytelling competition, how I prepared for it, what I learned, and how I dealt with the disappointment. I talk about everything from hiring a keynote coach and getting my makeup done, to sitting with my feelings and honoring the effort I put in. I also share what I remind myself (and my clients) when things don’t go our way: there’s always something to take from the experience...and it might be better than what you thought you wanted.

Episode Highlights:

1. How I prepped for a high-stakes moment, mentally, emotionally, and logistically.

2. I share what I did to stay grounded and present on stage, and how I handled feedback after.

3. The small (and big) wins I clocked, even though I didn’t get the “prize.”

Quotables:

[00:09:18]

"My intent was, you know what? I'm happy just to have made it this far. And so I just wanna have fun with the experience and have fun with the other contestants and the folks that were gonna be there to witness it."

[00:17:11]

"I didn't get to move on to the next round and so what I do in those situations and what I am kind of inviting you to do is to take those things that didn't work out and use it as an opportunity for deep reflection about what that experience offered you, what you learned, and how you grew."

[00:25:00]

"Sometimes we just jump right into the next thing because it gives us comfort, it gives us the sense of control of, well, fine, I'm gonna go make it happen, then I'm gonna try again. And that's great and I want you to do that but sometimes what your heart and soul needs is, give me a minute, give me a minute to reset."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Sign up for Tosca's Newsletter: https://toscadimatteo.com/optin/

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Episode Specific Links:

Vital Voice Training

Amber (my makeup Artist)

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing