The Unseeing Critics

In this episode, we reveal some important news about "The Unseeing Critics". Discussed in this episode are the movies "Tango and Cash", "Dick Tracy", "House Party", and "Ghostbusters 2". We also go a bit off the rails, but that is normal in all of our episodes.

Enjoy and remember to Like, Share, Subscribe, and Share the podcast.

Thank you to all who have listened, and done the previously afor mentioned requests; you all are the reason we did this for as long as we have.

💫 Gravity’s got us hooked—literally and literarily—as Richard kicks off the show by announcing, “I’m reading a book about gravity…

💩 From there, things get weirdly educational:

Did you know wombats poop in cubes? That’s right—square-shaped poop. It helps them mark their territory without it rolling away. Nature is practical... and just a little unsettling.

🎬 It’s 1987 rewind time with two cinematic classics:

🪐 Spaceballs (1987)

🕴️ The Untouchables (1987)

🌿🧠 We bring it back to the classroom with another round of “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”

Q: What gas do plants breathe in that humans and animals breathe out?

Q: What is the perimeter of a rectangle with a length of 8 inches and width of 3 inches?

Q: How many continents are there?

Q: What’s the past tense of “go”?

Q: True or False: Bats are mammals?

📚 Richard also shares his thoughts on Market in the Maelstrom by Harmon Cooper—a LitRPG that blends chaos, commerce, and character progression. If you like your leveling systems with a side of existential dread, this one’s for you.

🦴💀 Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

We kick things off with bone-dry humor and dive straight into the deep end of weird animal facts.

🦥🐬 In today’s showdown of breath-holding beasts: sloths vs. dolphins! Shockingly, sloths can hold their breath for up to 40 minutes, while dolphins only manage around 15. Nature’s laziest creature is also one of its sneakiest swimmers. Who knew?

📚 Book Corner gets a little spooky this week:

Jesse shares a creepy thriller about a mysterious picture that changes each time it’s looked at, revealing increasingly sinister details. Haunted art? Creepy metaphors? We’re not sure—but we’re keeping the lights on.

Richard dove into Never Flinch by Stephen King, where the chills are steady, the suspense is sharp, and the lesson is clear: if you’re going to flinch… flinch later.

🎬 Then we rewind to the golden year of 1986 for two movie classics that shaped our childhood (and maybe warped our humor):

🤖 Short Circuit:

🎡 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off:

🧠🧒 Wrap things up with our New “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” quiz:

What planet is known as the Red Planet?

If you eat 3 out of 8 pizza slices, what fraction is left?

What is the capital of Florida?

What type of word is “quickly” in the sentence, “The rabbit ran quickly”?

Who was the first President of the United States?

(Yes, “Pizza” is a tempting answer for every question, but no—it’s not always right.)

📻 Tune in for jokes, facts, film flashbacks, and just enough weirdness to keep your brain guessing. Whether you’re into 80s robots, haunted portraits, or sloth trivia, this episode’s got something for everyone—no flinching required.

This is a continuation of the previous week's episode. We talk about the books, Jesse wants Richard to get punched in the face, and other Pod Boss type behavior.

Remember to like, share, subscribe, rate, and review... or Jesse will get you too with the Pod Boss Driver!

In this episode, we are introduced to Sped Home Ec, Jesse and his band, "Jesse and the Sped Balls", as well as we discuss "The Great Outdoors" and "Young Guns".

Be sure to like, share, subscribe, rate, and review if you want Jesse and the Sped Balls to play at your wedding!

we discuss Pale Rider, and other stuffs in this episode.

Get our thoughts on this movie, starring Tom Cruise. A somewhat shorter episode, we think, maybe it'll be entertaining?

This week’s episode brings the usual chaos, coffee, and questionable sponsorships—featuring Uncle Barry’s Whisper Bacon, LintBuddy™, Captain Cluck’s Tactical Chicken Vest, and the mysterious new household hazard known only as ZorpWipes™.

We dive into a new Blind Item Review involving something squishy, suspiciously colorful, and emotionally supportive—unless you try to eat it. (We won’t spoil it here.)

Along the way, we uncover fun facts (like sharks being older than trees), share a wild tale about Andy’s judgmental squirrel, and tell a blind dating joke that probably won’t get us canceled… probably.

We revisit two '90s favorites: the nostalgic charm of The Sandlot and the weird, wired world of Videodrome.
Plus, we debate some tough Would You Rather questions, like rewinding life or pausing time—and whether you'd rather live in fiction or bring fiction to you.

Next Week: We roll on with more Fall Guy episodes and blast into retro space with The Last Starfighter.

🎙️ Podcast Summary: "Flashlights, Fartandles, and Found Families"

This week’s episode is powered by caffeine and chaos, courtesy of our sponsors: Blindside Beans—because if you can't see straight, at least you can sip straight—and Alan’s Fartandle, capturing the essence of regret in wax form. Oh, and don't forget Gersh’s Mullet in a Minute—for when life demands instant party mode—and Jesse’s Spite Water, hydrating your soul with delicious vengeance.

In our Blind Item Review, we investigated a compact, sleek companion that fits in your glove box and lights up your world with the push of a button. No, it’s not a pet ferret in LED pajamas... (Just don’t test it on your cat unless you want to awaken the ancient wrath of Whiskers.)

Fun Fact of the Week: Mitch once entered a hot dog eating contest thinking it was a seminar on “compressed meat economics.” He placed second, gave a TED Talk, and now holds an honorary degree in Sodium Resilience.

Blind Joke? Of course:

"I told my friend I had 20/20 vision. He said really? I said, '20 steps, 20 toes… and I bump into every one of them.'"

We deep-dived into The Old Guard (2020), a Netflix hit based on the graphic novel by Greg Rucka. We explore immortality, the weight of memory, and what it means to be a hero in a world that forgets. Fun trivia: it was the first superhero film directed by a Black woman—Gina Prince-Bythewood—and hit 72 million views in four weeks.

On the audiobook side, we checked in with Beware of Chicken 4 by Casual Farmer, narrated by the always-excellent Travis Baldree. Think cozy cultivation meets Ted Lasso—funny, warm, and sneakily profound. It’s a story where chickens might be more legendary than warriors.

For our Would You Rather segment, we went deep:

Would you give your life to heal others… or live pain-free and powerless to help?

And if you were immortal, would you keep fighting for good in a forgetful world… or finally rest?

And finally, in honor of strange victories, we discussed the Great Emu War of 1932, when Australia declared war.

🎬 Next Week's Watch List:

The Fall Guy (1981) – A stuntman-turned-bounty hunter who punches bad guys and physics in equal measure.

Videodrome (1983) – David Cronenberg’s twisted dive into media, flesh, and the horror of VHS brainwaves.

So hydrate with Spite Water, and remember:

Whether it’s business in the front or chaos in the back—this show’s got you covered.

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Show Sounds:background:

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Voices:

Jesse and Richard

any other voices, unless otherwise noted, are from www.Elevenlabs.io

"Eyes Unnecessary, Laughter Guaranteed!" on each and every episode!

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-unseeing-critics/episodes/SOS-Books-Stories-Too-Short-for-Pleasure-e2maphr

Music provided by Sharod

This week on The Unseeing Critics, things get wild, weird, and wonderfully electric.

Richard and Jesse dive into the Blind Item Review with an item that’s smooth, sleek, and suspiciously life-changing—one reviewer’s spouse thought they were cheating. (Spoiler alert: it’s just a really good lint remover… or is it?)

Alan is back in another Fun Fact, this time hiring “Flamboyant One” Rooster Cockburn to guest-announce the highly anticipated match between Jesse and Gersh. Expect feathers, drama, and flair.

The Blind Joke of the week features a chihuahua, a confused bartender, and a surprisingly cheap upgrade to economy class.

We also review Netflix’s Carry On, starring Taron Egerton and Jason Bateman. It’s a high-stakes holiday thriller with TSA blackmail, moral tension, and explosive performances—filmed right in the heart of New Orleans on a $47 million budget. Critics loved it, and so did we… mostly.

Plus, a couple of TSA-flavored Would You Rather questions that might break your brain:

Would you smuggle something dangerous to save a loved one?

Or risk their life by doing the “right” thing?

Yeah… it’s that kind of episode.

🎧 Tune in now—just don’t let your guide dog press the button.