What if the biggest risk isn’t leaving… but staying?

S?E? The Cost of Staying — ft. Crash

Staying in the job that drains you.

In this episode of The Upstream Podcast, my friend Crash and I explore “The Cost of Staying.”

Crash walked away from a career just one year before earning tenure because remaining meant compromising his integrity. Later, he left behind the comfort of home, moved to Virginia, and stepped into an unfamiliar life—without knowing exactly where it would lead.

I share my own experience of leaving a stable position to build a practice where I could finally work in alignment with who I am.

These weren’t fearless decisions. They were terrifying.

But fear doesn’t always mean you’re making the wrong choice. Sometimes fear is simply what you feel when you’re about to stop betraying yourself.

And leaving isn’t always the answer. Sometimes staying—with honesty, effort, therapy, and intention—is the courageous choice. The real question is:

What is staying costing you—and is that cost bringing you closer to your truth or further away from it?

You don’t need to change your entire life today. But maybe you can change one thing you’ve been afraid to change. Make the call. Set the boundary. Submit the application. Have the conversation. Take one honest step.

You may not know exactly where you’ll land.

You just have to know when it’s time to jump.

What’s one change you know, deep down, is aligned with your path?

#TheUpstreamPodcast #TheCostOfStaying #ChooseYourself #LiveInAlignment #PersonalGrowth #CourageToChange #TrustYourPath #AuthenticLiving #TakeTheLeap #JustKeepSwimming

“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.”

Goethe

There’s a chasm between where we are and where we want to be—whether in our health, mindset, spirituality, or relationships. Most people believe that if they just had the motivation, they’d have everything they desire… they’d be unstoppable.

But the irony is, what’s stopping us is often ourselves.

We might hear a word of encouragement or even receive crystal-clear instructions on how to reach a goal—something that lifts our spirits and gives us hope to change the parts of our lives we say we’re desperate to transform. But that boost? It’s just a spark… and that spark will fade.

Unless it’s fueled by one thing: action.

Without action—without hearing and then doing—we stay the same. The spark stays a spark. Months or years pass, and regret creeps in. Not only because we didn’t become who we could’ve been, but because we end up lacking—lacking the ability to provide for ourselves and our families, lacking health, resilience, and peace… lacking time. It’s a poverty of body, mind, and spirit.

Join me and Tyler McCormick as we talk about how one unexpected conversation became a catalyst for real, urgent, and life-changing action.

‘Without a vision, the people perish.’

We can’t hit target if we don’t aim at it. And we cannot aim at it, if we cannot see it. So what then? We can be aimless, and aimless we will carry on. But as the proverb says, if we have no aim, no vision, we wither: mentally, emotionally, professionally, spiritually, and physically…even relationally.

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Now what if one has an actual limitation. They can either allow that limitation to become a reason to having limited aims, or they can can proceed despite limitation and aim for the highest good of themselves and potentially overcome not just themselves, but whatever arena of life they are striving in.

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Join me and my guest @mullin_sean, a man who is blind, yet pursuing the aim of being a top competitor in Jiu Jitsu, in an arena with other athletes without any disabilities or limitations. See what he’s been able to do, despite having to overcome obstacle after obstacle, and adversity after adversity. He is truly and man with vision.. one who is not perishing but thriving and climbing higher and higher to the top.

When a man embarks on the journey of fatherhood, his life undergoes a stark transformation. Suddenly, he finds himself entrusted with the profound responsibility of nurturing a co-created with his beloved and the divine Creator. How he embraces and enacts his role as a father profoundly influences the trajectory of his child's life, shaping their future in profound ways.

Yet, no father walks this path flawlessly. Many carry unseen wounds, unresolved and unhealed, which can inadvertently be passed down to their own children, burdening them with generational baggage. However, within every generational lineage, there emerges a trailblazer—a man who courageously breaks the chains of the past, reshaping the narrative for the betterment of future generations.

Join me, along with my dear friend Freddy Banales, as we delve into the complexities of navigating fatherhood without a complete roadmap, healing from our own pasts, and striving to honor our own fathers while fulfilling our roles as loving husbands and fathers. This conversation is particularly meaningful to me, and I hope it resonates deeply with all fathers and soon-to-be fathers out there.

Keep swimming, friends!

We won’t go into the dictionary’s definition. That would be too easy, and quite frankly, it doesn’t reach the depths or heights that would satisfy this inquiry.

In this episode of "What is a Man," we delve into the landscape of what it is to be a man through the lens of a discussion with my guest, Matthew Pride. Exploring the pillars of being a man, we navigate through societal expectations, values, as well as philosophical and theological thought.

Plot twist…there will be a part 2 as we couldn’t answer this question fully in one hour! More to come friends! Just keep swimming…

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"... is this true? I can't recall anyone ever questioning this statement, especially when it comes to fitness.

We all know the general benefits of exercise and fitness, but how much exercise should we be engaged in, and what kind? ... At what kind of intensity? How much recovery is needed for the level of exercise we engage in? Where is the tipping point of doing "too much," to the point where there are diminishing returns?

Join me and my guest Crash, owner of Venator Human Performance and Jiu Jitsu Black Belt instructor as we have a conversation about whether or not our fitness is killing us or actually benefiting us for the long term.

With so much focus on people, particularly men to be "vulnerable," within the last few years, it became evident to me that there wasn't enough guidance on how to actually be vulnerable. Even more lacking is the insight on who we should or shouldn't be vulnerable with and how much should we reveal of ourselves. Because it's a hot topic, it seems as the more vulnerable you are, the better. However, vulnerability carried out this way could have unwanted consequences.

Join me and my guest, Crash, as we discuss walking this tightrope of vulnerability in our relationships and share our own experiences, good and bad. We hope it will be helpful for you on your own journey to hone your own vulnerability in your life. 

Physical fitness is important, not just for our bodies, but for our minds. But what happens when you have all the fitness in the world, but you are unable to defend yourself and/or others in a physical confrontation? Strength, and even instinct, will most likely not be enough against a would-be attacker.

Why be hard to kill? There’s an old Chinese Proverb that says, “It’s better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in war.” That is to say, it’s better to be prepared and know how handle oneself in a physical altercation, than to not know and be thrust into a situation that one has no experience in.

Being hard to kill from a physical stand point is one level. There is also the mental and emotional level which is absolutely necessary to handle the chaos of life when it eventual comes, and it will. There are things we can do to fortify our physical bodies to withstand potential threats. There are also things we can do that would benefit our emotional and mental well-being to fortify us against the definitive trials of life.

Join me and my friend and teacher, Crash, BJJ instructor and Fitness Business Owner, as we discuss just how we can make ourselves hard to kill from the physical, mental, and emotional perspective.

We've all heard the phrase, "Survival of the fittest." I believe the great poets Mobb Deep emphasized that only the strong survive. 

While this may be true, it is intense. In today's modern world, we are provided conveniences that centuries ago, human beings couldn't even fathom. Surviving in a sense is not so difficult that you need to be the fittest any longer.

However, being fit-ish is not just helpful, but necessary if one wants to live optimally. We don't all need to be professional athletes or insanely strong, or fast... but if aren't leaning towards being fit-ish, our bodies go neglected and eventually let us know it. Considering that the body, mind, and soul are one, this doesn't go so well for us.

Join my guest Father Gino Delarama and I as we discuss his fit-ish journey. His body eventually let him know that it was time for a change. What he didn't realize were the positive benefits towards his mental, emotional, and spiritual health. He shares all that with us right here on another episode of Upstream.

Also, this recording was saved by AI. I neglected to record myself and utilized AI to help recreate my voice so I could put this together. Really grateful that this content did not end up getting lost forever. Bare with me on this one, but also, check out what AI can do!

Keep swimming, friends. 

"Lesser men have done greater things...." The first time I heard this quote, it was like a lightswitch went off in my brain that I didn't even know it was there. The man who shared this quote with me, Shaun Puluse, took the time to sit down and speak further about the context of this quote in his life. 

This episode is one of my long awaited episodes. When Shaun shared this with me, I was just in the beginnings of starting a private practice and had nothing but doubt and fear in me. Now that I'm quite literally living the dream, when I come across someone who was in my position of making a change and experiencing trepidation, I share with them this very quote. 

Shaun and I go back a few years now, but I had no idea the trials he had faced in his history, and yet throughout all, he's on the other side and working on finding and being his best self. And on this episode, he lays it all out with a courage unsurpassed by any other. We hope you take away all you can from this one. Love y'all!