The Vegas Therapist - Ryan Wynder

In this episode I tackle the dark side of meaning making. As humans we instinctively assign meaning to events or experiences we go through. Some of the info I draw from comes from Dr. Benjamin Hardy's book Personality Isn't Permanent. In the book he says "we can generate a premature cognitive commitment about ourselves" this cognitive commitment can be based on mistaken or misinformed meaning of things. Meaning that begins or helps to shape our self-image and how we see the world.

Creating meaning is fundamental to who we are and who we become. As Brene Brown says, "we are meaning makers!"

I also reference the Same Love by Macklemore & Ryan.

How trauma leads to attaching meaning about ourselves is discussed as well.

For more about me visit my website www.ryanwynder.com. You can also follow me on Instagram @thevegastherapist and also visit my website for the link to my 14 Day Marriage Challenge.

This episode is a result of the thought I had while watching the documentary called Dynasty. It’s about the New England Patriots and in particular the focus on Bill Belichick and Tom Brady and how he came to be the Patriots quarterback. As Fate would have hit a huge hit on the starter at the time, Drew Bledsoe opened the door for Brady to get his opportunity! An opportunity he did not let go of and turned into 7 Super Bowls! It got me thinking about fate and the role it plays in our life. I share some experiences of how fate brought me to the place I am in my career. My challenge is for you to look at how fate has shown up in your life. More about me can be found on my website www.ryanwynder.com or follow me on Instagram @thevegastherapist

In this episode Ryan dives into part 2 of 2. This episode will focus more on the Defense Mechanisms we use to keep us "safe" or to keep us feeling more hurt or pain in our lives. "Most of us do not reenact the experience of the trauma itself. Instead we act out the coping strategy (or defense mechanism) we evolved to deal with the trauma.

Ryan will discuss a number of different defense mechanisms we utilize, including Terrance Real's adaptive child defense, self-abandonment, disconnection, self blame and shame, victim mentality, and the inability to receive. From this episode you will gain a better understanding of your own defense mechanisms and find out ways you can begin to move away from them and start healing.

To follow Ryan on Instagram go to @thevegastherapist or visit his website www.ryanwynder.com

Don't forget about his 14 Day Relationship Challenge, the link is available on his website!

In this episode Ryan breaks down the first of a two part episode. The focus for the first episode will be on Triggers. The word trigger itself has become a hot topic and according to MaryCatherine McDonald and her new book Unbroken, it has become a catchall for any occasion in which we have an emotion that is remotely unpleasant or unwanted. This misconception also leads to a misunderstanding of how we deal with triggers when they happen. We have learned to block and avoid instead of adapting and healing!

There are three things to be mindful of when it comes to triggers: 1. We are always conscious of our triggers, 2. Triggers are something to be avoided at all costs, 3. Not feeling anything is a realistic goal. Ultimately when it comes to triggers they are a sign that there things that we have not yet processed. Because of that we need to pay attention to them, acknowledge them, and honor ourselves by doing the work to reduce the impact they have on us.

You can follow Ryan on Instagram @thevegastherapist or go to his website www.ryanwynder.com

Check out my 14 Day Relationship Challenge - link on website