The Widowed Parent Podcast

“You have all the tools inside you to do it. You’re the perfectly imperfect parent to do this with your kiddo. Just talk about it. Just say something. Just open the door. That’s all you have to do. Just start. Start anywhere, and start awkwardly, and don’t feel like you have to have it perfect, because none of us do.” --Therapist & parenting coach Tracey Biebel

"The best thing that I can say, that's taken me time to come to, is that your family is whole just as it is. And there will be that place of missing, always.… And I really am beginning to understand more and more, even though we're a two-person family right now, there is so much wholeness of us as a family… Often times to see yourself whole means reaching out, to know you're not the only one that feels broken, to know you're not the only one that feels in pain, and you're not alone in this." - Writer, coach, & widowed mom Carole Marie Downing

I had a fantastic discussion with Carole Marie Downing for this episode. Carole Marie lost her husband when her son was six years old. She wrote a book chronicling her first year of grief called "Singing Beyond Sorrow: A Year of Grief, Gratitude, & Grace". She is a writer, coach, & facilitator, for widows, and was previously a hospice nurse.

We had a wide-ranging discussion on raising kids after loss, and Carole Marie shared lots of great tips and ideas.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Carole Marie Downing.

"The best thing that I can say, that’s taken me time to come to, is that your family is whole just as it is. And there will be that place of missing, always.… And I really am beginning to understand more and more, even though we’re a two-person family right now, there is so much wholeness of us as a family… Often times to see yourself whole means reaching out, to know you’re not the only one that feels broken, to know you’re not the only one that feels in pain, and you’re not alone in this."

"I've lived in that isolation and there were times where I thought that was a good place to be. And again it feels good very momentarily, and then you realize there's no growth and no healing that ever comes from that, at least in my perspective. Be there for each other. That's kind of what it boils down to." -Writer Jacob Pippin

I had such a great discussion with Jacob Pippin for this episode.

Jacob lost his mom when he was 3 years old. After that time he was raised by his grandparents. He is now 32 years old and is married with kids of his own, and he also volunteers at a children's grief center in Orlando.

I loved hearing Jacob's perspective on growing up after losing his mom, and his reflections on his experience now that he's an adult. And you know, it's not like his experience will tell me exactly what my kids are experiencing … but I feel like hearing from a variety of people who have walked the path my kids are walking will help me get some ideas on what they might be going through, and give me some good things to think about.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Jacob Pippin.

“I’ve lived in that isolation and there were times where I thought that was a good place to be. And again it feels good very momentarily, and then you realize there’s no growth and no healing that ever comes from that, at least in my perspective. Be there for each other. That’s kind of what it boils down to.” -Writer Jacob Pippin

"I would say the biggest thing that I learned is that no matter what you're feeling, it's ok. If you're feeling really sad and it's 12 years later, that's ok. And that if you're really laughing and having fun, you don't need to feel guilty for that. Whatever you're feeling is really ok. And that I think helped me a lot, and helped my kids a lot too." ~Widowed parent and blogger Wendy Clough

I really enjoyed my conversation with Wendy Clough for this episode.

Wendy has been a widowed mom of 3 girls since her husband died 12 years ago, and last year she started blogging about her journey. We discussed all sort of things, including Wendy's advice for talking with the kids' schools, and milestones & events that can trigger kids' grief, and her family's experience with a grief support community in Seattle called The Healing Center.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Wendy Clough.

“I would say the biggest thing that I learned is that no matter what you’re feeling, it’s ok. If you’re feeling really sad and it’s 12 years later, that’s ok. And that if you’re really laughing and having fun, you don’t need to feel guilty for that. Whatever you’re feeling is really ok. And that I think helped me a lot, and helped my kids a lot too.” ~Widowed parent and blogger Wendy Clough

"There are some, in grief, who immediately throw themselves into pictures and memories. I am not that type of person. It has been 15 months since my sister died, but I still choose not to look at pictures of her. The heartache is too much. It will not always be this way, but this is how I feel now. Despite where I am in my own process, I wanted my nephew to be able to access pictures of his mom whenever he wanted the comfort of her image and to be able to use the photos to maintain or build memories based on our stories about her." ~Kellyn Shoecraft

I had a fantastic discussion with Kellyn Shoecraft for this episode.

Kellyn lost her dad when she was 20 years old, and more recently lost her sister. Kellyn made a board book for her 2-year-old nephew with pictures of him and his mom, as well as a couple of other books for her young daughter so she could come to know several family members who had died before she really had a chance to know them. During our interview she shared her experience making these books, along with lots of practical tips for both making the books and sharing them with kids, as well as sharing some reflections on losing her dad at such a young age.

I hope you enjoy my discussion with Kellyn Shoecraft.

I had a fantastic discussion with Kellyn Shoecraft for this episode.

Kellyn lost her dad when she was 20 years old, and more recently lost her sister. Kellyn made a board book for her 2-year-old nephew with pictures of him and his mom, as well as a couple of other books for her young daughter so she could come to know several family members who had died before she really had a chance to know them.

"Live your life the way that you feel called to do it. Parent the way you know your kids because you were created to be their parent. And nobody can take that away from you. And do not listen to the critics, because they will always be there. That advice has stayed with me forever, and it's something I pass only every single one of my clients." -Certified grief, health, and life coach Kendra Zierau

I had such a good time interviewing Kendra Zierau for the very first episode.

Kendra is a certified life, health & wellness, and grief coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her husband died of colon cancer about 8 years ago, when her kids were 8 & 9 years old. She has gone on to become a coach with a passion for helping people be healthy from the inside out.

We had a fascinating discussion about her experience as a widowed parent. I hope you enjoy this episode.