The Work of Being You with Dr. Nari Jeter

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

You can explain yourself perfectly and still be misunderstood and that reality can either exhaust you or set you free. We’re digging into a pattern many of us know too well: replaying conversations, overexplaining texts, and scrambling to “clear things up” because we’re terrified someone will land on the wrong story about who we are. I share why this urge feels so intense, especially in close relationships, and how it can quietly fuel anxiety, people pleasing, and emotional burnout.

We also unpack a distinction that changes everything: communicating clearly is our responsibility, but controlling someone else’s understanding is not. Being understood gives us connection, validation, and a sense of emotional safety, but it’s easy to confuse understanding with agreement. I walk through what agreement, validation, understanding, and true intimacy sound like in real life, and why conflict can hold both your intention and their experience at once.

Then we get practical. You’ll hear four simple practices to stop overexplaining, decide whose opinion actually deserves your energy, and tolerate the discomfort of being misread without abandoning yourself. We also talk about boundaries, why long justifications can turn into negotiations, and how allowing some misunderstanding can create more honest connection over time. 

If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the work of being you.

You can learn more about Dr. Nari's work at:

Website: www.drnarijeter.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/drnarijeter/

Substack: https://substack.com/@drnarijeter

Podcast Disclaimer

The Work of Being You is for educational and informational purposes only. The thoughts, ideas, and perspectives shared on this podcast are not intended to provide individual mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy, and listening to the podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship between you and Dr. Nari Jeter.

Every person and relationship is different. Please consider your own circumstances when applying anything discussed on the podcast, and seek the guidance of a qualified mental health professional when you need individualized support.

If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services or a crisis resource in your area.

Thank you for being here, and for doing the work of being you.

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

Have you ever said, "I just don't feel like myself"? Or maybe you've thought, “I’m great at my job but I’m a mess in my relationships.” If so, you’re not alone and you’re not failing. I’m Dr. Nari Jeter, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I’m kicking off the first official episode of Work of Being You by sharing why I built this show around one idea that keeps changing lives: the most control we have in life is over ourselves, and that makes self-work the strongest investment you can make in your relationships.

We talk about why “just be yourself” can feel like useless advice when you’ve spent years learning how to perform, adapt, and stay safe. From workplace professionalism to family expectations and social rules, we all wear masks to be accepted and successful. Those masks can help, but they can also leave you feeling like you don’t know who you are when things get personal. I break down how identity is shaped by parents, teachers, culture, gender roles, and survival, and why unlearning those old labels can be harder than it sounds because it’s tied to memory, the nervous system, and what your body does on autopilot.

Then we get practical. The work of being you starts with noticing patterns, including how you feel around certain people and what situations keep repeating. It deepens when you learn to tolerate discomfort without instantly reacting, and when you practice real pauses that create space for better choices. We also dig into boundaries, the line where you end and someone else begins, and why boundary work is lifelong. Finally, we talk about truth telling, because secrets drain your emotional energy and honesty is the first step toward authenticity and vulnerability.

If any of this hits home, listen, share with a friend who needs it, and subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. After you listen, leave a review and tell me: where do you feel most like yourself, and where do you disappear?

You can learn more about Dr. Nari's work at:

Website: www.drnarijeter.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/drnarijeter/

Substack: https://substack.com/@drnarijeter

Podcast Disclaimer

The Work of Being You is for educational and informational purposes only. The thoughts, ideas, and perspectives shared on this podcast are not intended to provide individual mental health treatment, diagnosis, or therapy, and listening to the podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship between you and Dr. Nari Jeter.

Every person and relationship is different. Please consider your own circumstances when applying anything discussed on the podcast, and seek the guidance of a qualified mental health professional when you need individualized support.

If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services or a crisis resource in your area.

Thank you for being here, and for doing the work of being you.

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

Hard choices can be the most caring ones. We open up about why we’re closing Coupled after two seasons and twenty‑six episodes, and how the show quietly changed the way many couples approach therapy—coming in earlier, with less stigma, and with more hope. You’ll hear the real story behind the mics: our FSU roots, building courses, the free service mindset, and the invisible labor that turns a 25‑minute conversation into hours of preparation, editing, and promotion.

We talk candidly about shifting seasons—babies growing into toddlers, older kids bringing homework and instruments, new schools, and expanded roles at work. Private practice remains our steady ground, while creative projects supply novelty and risk. That mix led to hard math about capacity: what gives energy, what drains it, and what deserves our best attention right now. Jenna shares returning to mindfulness and yoga with a long‑dreamed retreat, and Nari reflects on an academic leadership role that stretches impact but not creativity. Together we name a truth many of us avoid: bandwidth is a boundary, and good boundaries protect what we love.

Most of all, we honor you. Listeners wrote to say episodes were shared with partners and friends, and that hearing our conversations made the first therapy session feel possible. That was the mission—to destigmatize couples therapy—and we’re grateful it landed across cities and countries. Ending well lets us model the very skills we teach: clarity, appreciation, and a values‑aligned goodbye. Want to stay connected or work with us? Visit drjenascott.com and drnarijeeter.com, and follow along on Instagram. If this conversation helped you, subscribe, share the feed with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us one boundary you’re setting this season.

Want to keep in touch? Follow us on social media: @drjennascott and @drnarijeter or head to our websites at www.drjennascott.com and www.drnarijeter.com

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

Season 2 Episode 14: Breaking the News: How to Talk to Kids About Divorce

Divorce conversations rank among parents' most dreaded responsibilities. Many couples delay separation for months or even years, fearing the impact on their children. This powerful episode tackles the question therapists hear most often: "How do we tell our kids?"

Starting with the foundation of presenting a united front, we explore why having both parents present for this conversation matters deeply. Children need to see that despite the end of the marriage, their parents remain committed to their wellbeing. We share practical guidance on gathering siblings together, preparing logistically, and using language that matches each child's developmental understanding.

One critical message emerges repeatedly throughout our discussion: children must understand they did not cause the divorce. Due to their developmental stage, young children especially tend to internalize blame for family changes - a phenomenon called "false causation fallacy." We share personal examples of how this manifests and provide language for addressing this misperception compassionately.

The conversation extends beyond the initial discussion, emphasizing that divorce communication represents an ongoing dialogue rather than a one-time event. We recommend regular check-ins, acknowledging that siblings may process the news differently, and identifying additional supportive adults who can provide stability during the transition period. Most importantly, we stress that protecting children's relationships with both parents serves as the cornerstone of healthy adjustment.

What parents often discover after careful preparation is that these conversations, while undeniably difficult, rarely prove as catastrophic as feared. With intention, compassion, and ongoing support, families navigate this transition while preserving what matters most: children's sense of security and their continued relationships with both parents. Leave us a review and share your experiences with navigating difficult family conversations.

Dr. Jenna and Dr. Nari are the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists behind the  Coupled Podcast. They both have private practices where they work with individuals, couples, and families in Florida. The two are ready to shake up the world of couples therapy and want to extend resources beyond the couples they see in their private practices. 

If you like this episode and want to know more about taking the next step to improve your communication, connection, and intimacy, head over to our websites to learn more about our Staying Coupled and Getting Coupled courses. These online courses give you the flexibility to improve your relationship from the comfort and convenience of your home. The Staying Coupled course is for couples who want to do the work to connect, communicate, and have the healthiest relationship possible. The Getting Coupled course is for premarital couples wanting to learn the essentials for a successful marriage. Topics in both courses include the main issues couples face:

1. Communication​
2. Family Boundaries
3. Family Finances
4. Sex
5. Family Planning
6. Division of Labor
7. Couple Activities

For more information, visit drjennascott.com/courses or drnarijeter.com/courses

Disclaimer: This podcast is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, we encourage you to seek support from a licensed therapist in your state. Our relationship suggestions and content may not be applicable or advised for relationships with intimate partner violence (IPV). If you need resources, contact the Na

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

Season 2 Episode 13: Breaking the Cycle: Navigating Divorce as Co-Parents

What happens when marriages end but parenthood continues? This deep dive into co-parenting after divorce reveals powerful insights about creating stability for children during family transitions.

The research is clear: divorce itself doesn't determine children's outcomes—how parents navigate the aftermath does. We explore three distinct co-parenting styles, from destructive conflict to parallel parenting to the gold standard of collaborative co-parenting. Each approach creates different experiences for children, with lasting implications for their emotional, academic, and psychological development.

Children are remarkably perceptive, sensing tension and conflict even when parents believe they're successfully hiding it. We discuss how kids get caught in the middle when parents use them as messengers or put them in loyalty binds. The alternative—a collaborative approach where parents prioritize their children's needs above personal differences—creates security that helps children thrive despite family changes.

Practical challenges abound in post-divorce parenting: communication breakdowns, inconsistent household rules, scheduling logistics, and the introduction of new partners. We offer concrete strategies for addressing these issues, from keeping communications business-like to gradually integrating stepparents. Throughout, we emphasize that effective co-parenting doesn't require being best friends with your ex—just maintaining mutual respect and focus on your shared children.

The journey may begin with difficulty, but families typically find their rhythm within a year. Your intentional efforts to shield children from adult conflicts while maintaining family connections will be recognized and appreciated when they reach adulthood with clearer perspective. Listen for actionable insights to transform your co-parenting relationship from conflicted to collaborative.

Dr. Jenna and Dr. Nari are the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists behind the  Coupled Podcast. They both have private practices where they work with individuals, couples, and families in Florida. The two are ready to shake up the world of couples therapy and want to extend resources beyond the couples they see in their private practices. 

If you like this episode and want to know more about taking the next step to improve your communication, connection, and intimacy, head over to our websites to learn more about our Staying Coupled and Getting Coupled courses. These online courses give you the flexibility to improve your relationship from the comfort and convenience of your home. The Staying Coupled course is for couples who want to do the work to connect, communicate, and have the healthiest relationship possible. The Getting Coupled course is for premarital couples wanting to learn the essentials for a successful marriage. Topics in both courses include the main issues couples face:

1. Communication​
2. Family Boundaries
3. Family Finances
4. Sex
5. Family Planning
6. Division of Labor
7. Couple Activities

For more information, visit drjennascott.com/courses or drnarijeter.com/courses

Disclaimer: This podcast is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, we encourage you to seek support from a licensed therapist in your state. Our relationship suggestions and content may not be applicable or advised for relationships with intimate partner violence (IPV). 

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

Season 2 Episode 12: Sex, Sleepovers, and Spending: The Surprising Rules of Open Relationships

Continuing our exploration of ethical non-monogamy, Dr. Nari and Dr. Jenna dive into the nuanced world of boundaries and rules that make these relationships work. Following Dr. Ethan Schwab's interview on different forms of non-monogamous relationships, this episode uncovers the practical aspects of how couples navigate these complex arrangements.

We shatter the common misconception that "anything goes" in open relationships. Drawing from our clinical experience, we share how couples establish and maintain boundaries around physical spaces, emotional connections, time management, and finances. From prohibiting outside encounters in the shared home to negotiating overnight stays with secondary partners, these boundaries reflect efforts to protect the primary relationship while creating space for additional connections.

Geographic and cultural context significantly impacts how these relationships function. While ethical non-monogamy might be commonplace in progressive cities like Seattle, navigating these arrangements in more conservative regions like Tallahassee presents unique challenges. The small-town dynamic means greater risk of social circles overlapping, making privacy and disclosure boundaries particularly important.

What makes this conversation especially valuable is the honesty about their own learning journey. We acknowledge having more questions than answers about ethical non-monogamy, reflecting the evolving nature of relationship structures in contemporary society. Our approach emphasizes self-awareness, communication, and ongoing consent as foundations for any relationship style.

Whether you're curious about ethical non-monogamy, actively practicing it, or simply interested in improving communication in your monogamous relationship, this episode offers valuable insights into setting boundaries and expressing needs. Have questions or want to continue the conversation? Reach out through Instagram @thecoupledpodcast or use the text link in our show notes.

Dr. Jenna and Dr. Nari are the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists behind the  Coupled Podcast. They both have private practices where they work with individuals, couples, and families in Florida. The two are ready to shake up the world of couples therapy and want to extend resources beyond the couples they see in their private practices. 

If you like this episode and want to know more about taking the next step to improve your communication, connection, and intimacy, head over to our websites to learn more about our Staying Coupled and Getting Coupled courses. These online courses give you the flexibility to improve your relationship from the comfort and convenience of your home. The Staying Coupled course is for couples who want to do the work to connect, communicate, and have the healthiest relationship possible. The Getting Coupled course is for premarital couples wanting to learn the essentials for a successful marriage. Topics in both courses include the main issues couples face:

1. Communication​
2. Family Boundaries
3. Family Finances
4. Sex
5. Family Planning
6. Division of Labor
7. Couple Activities

For more information, visit drjennascott.com/courses or drnarijeter.com/courses

Disclaimer: This podcast is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, we encourage you to seek support from a licensed therapist in your state. Our relationship suggestions and content may not be applicable or advised for relationships with intimate partner violence (IPV). If you need resources, contact the Na

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

Season 2 Episode 11: Navigating Ethical Non-Monogamy: Conversations with Dr. Ethan Schwab

What if there's a healthier alternative to traditional relationships? In this episode, Dr. Jenna hosts Dr. Ethan Schwab, an ASEC certified sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist. He joins us to explore the world of ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships.

Dr. Schwab breaks down the vocabulary people need to understand this growing relationship movement. From negotiated open relationships to hierarchical polyamory and relationship anarchy, he explains how these structures work and why they're becoming increasingly mainstream, especially among younger generations.

"One person can't be everything," Dr. Schwab explains, addressing why more couples are considering alternatives to traditional monogamy. Whether it's mismatched sexual desires, different interests, or simply an authentic expression of one's relationship style, ethical non-monogamy offers options for those willing to communicate openly.

The conversation digs deep into practical considerations: How do you handle safer sex practices with multiple partners? Where do people find the time? What boundaries need to be established? Most importantly, how do you have that first conversation with your partner without threatening your existing relationship?

Dr. Schwab offers invaluable advice for couples: slow down, avoid assumptions ("the mother of all f-ups"), and start small with just one experience before expanding. He distinguishes between wants and needs in non-monogamy, noting that for some people, loving multiple partners is central to their identity.

Whether you're curious about ethical non-monogamy or actively considering it, this episode provides thoughtful guidance on approaching these relationship structures with integrity, respect, and care. Subscribe to the Coupled Podcast for more conversations about modern relationships and challenges.

Dr. Jenna and Dr. Nari are the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists behind the  Coupled Podcast. They both have private practices where they work with individuals, couples, and families in Florida. The two are ready to shake up the world of couples therapy and want to extend resources beyond the couples they see in their private practices. 

If you like this episode and want to know more about taking the next step to improve your communication, connection, and intimacy, head over to our websites to learn more about our Staying Coupled and Getting Coupled courses. These online courses give you the flexibility to improve your relationship from the comfort and convenience of your home. The Staying Coupled course is for couples who want to do the work to connect, communicate, and have the healthiest relationship possible. The Getting Coupled course is for premarital couples wanting to learn the essentials for a successful marriage. Topics in both courses include the main issues couples face:

1. Communication​
2. Family Boundaries
3. Family Finances
4. Sex
5. Family Planning
6. Division of Labor
7. Couple Activities

For more information, visit drjennascott.com/courses or drnarijeter.com/courses

Disclaimer: This podcast is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, we encourage you to seek support from a licensed therapist in your state. Our relationship suggestions and content may not be applicable or advised for relationships with intimate partner violence (IPV). If you need resources, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233. 

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

Season 2 Episode 10: What's Happening on the Couch? Real Talk from Real Therapists

Ever felt like you're the only one struggling with your particular relationship challenge? You're not. Dr. Jenna and Dr. Nari pull back the curtain on what they're actually seeing in their practice right now, sharing the patterns and common challenges that emerge across different couples and families. From the comfort of transparency comes validation—knowing countless others are navigating similar waters and finding their way through.

We explore several recurring themes in our therapy offices today. Many couples are wrestling with family planning timelines and the grief of pregnancy loss, while young parents struggle to maintain connection amid the demands of raising children. Trust issues appear frequently, ranging from traditional infidelity to what one therapist calls "micro-cheating"—those gray-area interactions that feel like betrayals but are often minimized by the offending partner. We also dive into boundary work, helping couples protect their relationships from external demands like work pressures and extended family expectations.

Perhaps most illuminating is the discussion about timing—how the average couple waits six years after experiencing distress before seeking therapy, often leading to what one therapist calls the "fed up wife" scenario. By then, one partner has reached their breaking point after years of unmet needs and unsuccessful requests for change, making reconciliation significantly more challenging. The therapists advocate for preventative relationship maintenance, comparing it to regular car care—addressing issues when warning lights first appear rather than waiting for a complete breakdown.

Whether you're currently in a relationship struggle or simply want to better understand relationship dynamics, this episode offers both validation and hope. Listen now to gain perspective on common relationship patterns and hear professional insights that might just help you navigate your own connections with greater awareness and intentionality.

Dr. Jenna and Dr. Nari are the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists behind the  Coupled Podcast. They both have private practices where they work with individuals, couples, and families in Florida. The two are ready to shake up the world of couples therapy and want to extend resources beyond the couples they see in their private practices. 

If you like this episode and want to know more about taking the next step to improve your communication, connection, and intimacy, head over to our websites to learn more about our Staying Coupled and Getting Coupled courses. These online courses give you the flexibility to improve your relationship from the comfort and convenience of your home. The Staying Coupled course is for couples who want to do the work to connect, communicate, and have the healthiest relationship possible. The Getting Coupled course is for premarital couples wanting to learn the essentials for a successful marriage. Topics in both courses include the main issues couples face:

1. Communication​
2. Family Boundaries
3. Family Finances
4. Sex
5. Family Planning
6. Division of Labor
7. Couple Activities

For more information, visit drjennascott.com/courses or drnarijeter.com/courses

Disclaimer: This podcast is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, we encourage you to seek support from a licensed therapist in your state. Our relationship suggestions and content may not be applicable or advised for relationships with intimate partner violence (IPV). If you need resources, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotl

Send us a text! We’d love to know what you think!

Season 2 Episode 9: Beyond Court Battles: How Collaborative Divorce Transforms Family Transitions

Divorce doesn't have to mean scorched earth and broken families. What if there was a way to end your marriage with dignity, privacy, and mutual respect—while saving time and money?

Rachel Borentrager, divorce attorney and pioneering advocate for collaborative divorce, returns to the Coupled Podcast to introduce listeners to this revolutionary alternative to traditional divorce proceedings. She explains how collaborative divorce brings together a specialized team—including collaboratively-trained attorneys, a neutral mental health facilitator, and a neutral financial expert—who work together to create solutions that honor everyone's interests rather than fighting over rigid positions.

The benefits are striking. While traditional litigation often drags on for years, costs upwards of $100,000 per spouse, and destroys co-parenting relationships, collaborative divorce typically resolves in months, costs significantly less, and preserves family connections. Rachel shares remarkable success stories, including divorced couples who now share children's items between homes and even go trick-or-treating together with new spouses—showing just how transformative this approach can be.

The process remains entirely outside the courtroom, with all financial disclosures and agreements kept private rather than becoming public record. This confidentiality protects personal information while allowing for creative solutions that courts simply cannot order, like step-up parenting plans that evolve as children age or flexible financial arrangements that address everyone's core concerns.

Whether you're contemplating divorce or know someone who is, this eye-opening conversation reveals an option most people never hear about until they're already deep in the traditional system. Learn why Rachel and a growing community of legal professionals are championing collaborative divorce as a better way forward for families in transition.

Dr. Jenna and Dr. Nari are the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists behind the  Coupled Podcast. They both have private practices where they work with individuals, couples, and families in Florida. The two are ready to shake up the world of couples therapy and want to extend resources beyond the couples they see in their private practices. 

If you like this episode and want to know more about taking the next step to improve your communication, connection, and intimacy, head over to our websites to learn more about our Staying Coupled and Getting Coupled courses. These online courses give you the flexibility to improve your relationship from the comfort and convenience of your home. The Staying Coupled course is for couples who want to do the work to connect, communicate, and have the healthiest relationship possible. The Getting Coupled course is for premarital couples wanting to learn the essentials for a successful marriage. Topics in both courses include the main issues couples face:

1. Communication​
2. Family Boundaries
3. Family Finances
4. Sex
5. Family Planning
6. Division of Labor
7. Couple Activities

For more information, visit drjennascott.com/courses or drnarijeter.com/courses

Disclaimer: This podcast is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, we encourage you to seek support from a licensed therapist in your state. Our relationship suggestions and content may not be applicable or advised for relationships with intimate partner violence (IPV). If you need resources, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233.