(0:00) Show Open: Pretty Fly and A Pink Eye
The Vice Presidential Debate was last night, and a fly landed on the VP’s head and pretty much stole the show.
LeBron James Fired Off A Hilarious Joke About The Huge Fly That Landed On Mike Pence’s Head During The Vice Presidential Debate
'Pitch in $5 to help this campaign fly': Joe Biden pokes fun at Mike Pence after a fly landed on his head in VP debate - while Twitter users call for him to get tested for COVID due to his pink eye
Kids Won't Be Sitting on Santa's Lap This Year
Children everywhere WON'T have to be traumatized by sitting on Santa's lap this year for the sake of an overpriced mall photo. Most malls around the country are making their Christmas plans. And those plans DO include Santa . . . but DON'T include sitting on his lap.
They're planning to hold no-contact Santa visits including masks, plexiglass dividers, and photos from six feet away. Some malls will even have Santa sit inside a giant snow globe, or be behind a giant picture frame. And in some areas, Santas will be available for Zoom calls with kids who don't feel safe coming to the mall.
The big reason for doing this is mall Santas' health. According to a guy who runs a Santa school in Atlanta, quote, "Santas are typically in a minimum of two high-risk categories . . . over age 65 and overweight." (CBS 3 - Philadelphia)
(15:20) Entertainment News
Country Singer Morgan Wallen is DROPPED as this week's musical guest on Saturday Night Live after he was caught partying maskless days before the show
John Daly, A God Amongst Men, Makes Hole-In-One In Charity Event While Barefoot
Ellen DeGeneres Show drops 38% in the ratings as viewership takes a nosedive following toxic workplace scandal
Mariah Carey Says She and Her Fiancé James Packer Didn't Have Sex
(28:25) Stupid Question Of The Day
Are Virtual First Dates Actually Better Than Face-to-Face First Dates?
Here's one we didn't see coming: Virtual first dates might actually have some real advantages over face-to-face first dates.
According to a new survey, about two-thirds of people say they've liked virtual dating this year. They save you time if the date isn't good . . . they last an average of 26 minutes less. They save you money, an average of $23 per date.
And they still WORK . . . people say they can usually tell if they have a connection with someone in just 30 seconds of a video chat.
Of course, they aren't perfect. You miss out on the little body language hints, the chance to size up someone in person, and, of course, the potential for doing all sorts of filthy things to each other if the date goes well.
But one in four people say they want to keep doing virtual first dates even once the pandemic is over because it's a good way to at least screen out bad prospects. (Daily Express)
(33:15) "Good News" Stories from the Coronavirus Outbreak
A lot of couples have had to postpone weddings this year, but it hasn't given many of them cold feet. 82% say that going through the pandemic together has made them want to marry the person even more.
A 48-year-old guy from Long Island named Scott Cohen almost died of COVID-19 in April. But he got plasma from a woman named Abbie Park who'd already beaten the virus. And her antibodies helped HIM beat it too. They just met up in person for the first time on Tuesday, and he thanked her for saving his life.
You might be able to travel overseas without quarantining soon. A new "COVID passport" system is being tested for the first time at London-Heathrow Airport this week. There's an app that stores info on when your last test was. And once there's a vaccine, you could use it to prove you've been vaccinated.
Earlier this year, a guy in New York named Woody Latour started hanging posters outside his house with lame dad jokes on them, just to lift people's spirits. And he's still at it. Here's his most recent one: "Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years, the dry erase board is probably the most RE-MARKABLE."
(42:40) Dumbass of the Day
A Man Is Busted for Trying to Arrange a Threesome with a Horse
An Arson Suspect Is Arrested When He Hops on the Fire Truck
Some scammers were going door-to-door in California claiming they were collecting money for the local high school football team. But they were caught when they went to one of the coaches' houses.
Ballsy Pizza Delivery Guy Caught On Video Rubbing Customer’s Ice Cream On His Crotch
(51:50) What's the One Thing You Still Need to Vent About Even After All These Years?
There's a discussion on Reddit right now where people are venting about something in their past they're STILL angry or annoyed about, even after all these years. Here are some of the best things people just can't let go of . . .
"In fifth grade, a science test asked 'Are there any stars in the solar system?' I said yes. He marked it wrong. I went up and said, 'What about the sun?' He said he meant all the other stars and kept it marked wrong. I'm over 50 years old now."
"I was suspended for vandalizing the school even though I didn't do it. Four days later I was allowed to come back because they found who actually did it. I just got an apology."
"I went on maternity leave. The woman they hired to cover for me was paid $3 more an hour. She couldn't keep up and messed up several things I had to correct when I came back. When I asked for a raise, they offered me 50 cents."
"Our wedding photographer left part of their lens cap on so every photo has a massive black ring. No good photos from the wedding."
"When my mom accidentally put my sister's name on my birthday cake. Pretty horrible way to turn 13." (Reddit)
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