86 weeks ago, Chris and Rob started a show called "The Bomb Filter," and liked huffing their own farts while being pretentious about movies. But Bob joined the rankings, and we have since become a well oiled machine that is now known as "The Worst Movie Ever Made." That's the condensed version of why we're revisiting Battlefield Earth. The other reason is that Bob joined us after we had already watched it, and we wanted him to suffer like we did back on episode 12. Misery loves company, so... sorry Bob!

Misplaced McDonald’s Marketing! Pulverizing your opponent then pushing his puss into the prison paste! Dutch angles! Why buy five fire-able wives! Clinko language slavery!  Patronizing squeeze pieces! Dutch angles! Concubine communications! Questionable Psychlo cycles! Gratuitous Locrian moaning! Dutch angles! Getting Kerbangoed out of your skull bone! Blasting bowlegged bovines, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! 

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Listen, we're going to watch Battlefield Earth next week much to the Chagrin of Bob who hasn't had the pleasure. If you want to hear what we have to say about 1996's The Phantom, just listen to this episode, because we are so fucking over it already.

Attempted abuse of a boy! Bringing the big rig across the bridge! Communicating coerced coitus! Wanton wasting of windows in the Winchester showroom! Personal pleasure pirates! Wagging the wiggler of walking dead Kit Walker! Mushrooms aren’t leaves! Face skull blister burn things! Cliffhanger dangle tropes! Toys “R” Us Tattoos! Cabbie ex Machina! Stunt police bike bullshit! Adam West tapestry weaving! Post mortem Phantom fucking, and much, much more on this week's Episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! 

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Next week, we get "crap lousy" with Battlefield Earth.

Thanks for listening! 

If you're tired of life, and you're looking for a film to watch that will help you run the clock out by three hours and sixteen minutes, then we strongly recommend the Director's Cut of Troy! 

Banging the beauty who brings battle and brutality to your borders! Stealing the sexy Spartan! Apprehending for amusement! Deep throating Patroclus! Strangling your soulmate! Dragging the defeated through the dirt! Twilight torching of Troy through trickery! Dusting the flaps! Gratuitous extended scenes for a very simple conflict! Gilded sack dragging! Obvious implants! Brian Cox looks funny in a chariot! Sneaky queen peaky scenes! Unimaginable sexual stinkiness! Why Achilles be climbing walls out here? Unorthodox offenses, and much, much more on this week's Episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! 

Next week we watch 1996's The Phantom

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We made it to the end of Season 8, which only means one thing: time for a good... no, a great movie! We're talking of course about Terminator 2, with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Robert Patrick, Linda Hamilton, Bobby Budnick, and... others! We're always glad to talk about a great movie, because we took a pounding this season, and we need some relief.

Chris likes dongs! Literate sea pigs! Michael Biehn and the deleted scenes! Terminator turnaround! Arm and accent alleviation! Teaching terminator toned down techniques! Chris likes dongs! Flying time eggs! Plausible jibbery joo! Bean reaching claws! Tenth place fatalities! Bah! Gooey Robot Patrick! Inappropriately placed Seinfeld windshields! Cheesy money! Chris likes dongs (or does he?!), and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! 

We're going to pass 5,000 downloads on this very episode, so thank you all for listening!!!

Now please email us... we know you're out there. 

www.theworstmovieevermade.com

Jamie Kennedy stars in Son of the Mask, a film that is only redeemed by the 45 seconds of screen time that Steven Wright and Ben Stein had. When two of the most lethargic sounding men in the world are what carries a film, then maybe we need to talk about Jamie Kennedy- a man who once produced a documentary about how unfunny he was called Heckler... a film in which real comedians take on the subject of heckling while Jamie Kennedy basically apologizes for his career. According to Jamie Kennedy, this film fell short because there was a longer, more robust and superior version that was shelved due to studio interference. But we honestly think the movie fell short because of Jamie Kennedy. We barely made it 90 minutes, what the fuck makes you think we want to unearth the director's cut?

Nearly nicking your newborn with a knife-like nightlight! Insulting ill fated infants! Pressure washer power pissing on padre! Family feet film finish! Kink-worthy kickers? Mucinex style booger sperm! Poorly planned baby wagers! Muhammed Ali Fart Follies! Domestic violence! Back-ordered buffoonery! Bob, the maestro of mischief! A case for Freddy Got Fingered! Schoolgirl cookie salespersons, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! 

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Chris, Bob, and Rob celebrate EIGHTY CONSECUTIVE WEEKS OF PODCASTING ABOUT SHITTY MOVIES with Dwayne "The Rock" Jonson's The Tooth Fairy. A very funny attempt at being funny because big guy in tutu fall down and dog farts HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!! Dwayne is the beefiest of chuds to slide out of the studio's poop-shooter, and we're glad that we're done flushing this cinematic skidmark away forever. Rob still wants to do a Fast and Furious movie, but this will have to do for now. 

Audience asking athlete for adversaries incisors! Cheating a child of her chomper cheddar! Purposeless puberty pow-wows! Potential pile-driving post pixie dust! Homophobic fairy fodder! Disappointing lack of mitigated gall! Visiting the mayor of Sackville? "Are you there, God? It’s me, The Rock!" Implied diarrhea! The cocaine name conundrum, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! 

www.theworstmovieevermade.com

Son of the Mask next week. Get u someeeeeee!

The gang finally bends over and gets their butt cherries popped by the one and only Vin Diesel. Babylon AD! A film where nothing happens, but only before nothing happens, and then leads into nothing happening. At least we have Vinnie boy's sultry baritone voice to remind us that when we're here in Babylon, we're family. Here we go! 

Train station dog dangling! Fatally flogging the forced fighter! Passing the danger threshold! Cornball word salad! Human baby implants! Vin’s Conchess? Bobception! Fucking Kassovitz! Disappointing lack of pistols and pretzeled bread! Rabbit or rodent? You decide! Black lit Diesel Jizz! We all live on the smuggle submarine! Drone shooting jet ski backflips! Coca-Cola Airlines! Chris is afraid to use the word sentient, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! 

Dwayne Johnson, we're coming for you next!

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This is our second holiday season doing a bad movie podcast, and this is also the second time we talk Tim Allen! Rob loves him (or does he?). Chris and Bob don't (or do they?). But what about The Santa Clause? Is the comment section from YouTube filled with a bunch of mentally ill derelicts who shouldn't be allowed to assimilate into a regular society? Let's get into it!

Secret Santa secretary sex scandals! Advanced masonry maneuvers! Adolescent elves! Unfunny full grown fawn flatulence! Vague reasons for removing visitation! Rob wants to smash Patricia Richardson! JTT wigging it out! Boomer Humor by the likes of which we've never seen! HVAC slither assumptions! Strategic flesh prison exits! Chris gets mad at bread, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! 

www.theworstmovieevermade.com

Next week, we're doing a Vin Diesel movie.

This week we took a swim out to the Island of Dr. Moreau-- a cavalcade of bestiality, ice bucket Napoleon helmets, and making H.G. Wells spin in his grave like a fucking pinwheel. Let's just get into it so we don't waste any more of your time like we've wasted ours.

Berating your boys at brunch! Manimal medical malpractice! Hyena’s hairy hardware! Eyes wide shut: furry edition! Primal rage brain! What if "god number one" was one of us?! Uncomfortable roar whispers! Plasma blasting the monkey mound! Goading goats with GOAT sauce! “Rat people? Hahahahaa”! Taser chips and dip! Getting deep in the meat! Washing the glass cock! Slam pig regressions, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! 

www.theworstmovieevermade.com

We're watching The Santa Clause next week.