Therapy: Deconstructed

 Your personality is not hardwired into your brain. Many people believe that some of their behaviors and beliefs are a default setting in their brains, but this is simply not true. Our personality has grown and evolved with us throughout our whole lives and continues to be shaped by every experience we have. Therapy works on this principle by helping us to learn new ways of thinking about and understanding our past-experiences so that we can evolve new positive mindsets. You are never finished growing and experiencing new things, so embrace your change and continue to challenge and counteract the negative! 

Show notes: 
😟 Therapy is misrepresented in the media, movies, and TV shows. 01:13
🆚 “I’m hardwired”: cemented view of ourselves vs constant change. 02:21
📚 Science reveals how meditation and trauma change your brain and body: Dr. Bonnie recommends three great books. 04:08
🧠 Your identity is a moving target because neural patterns are constantly changing in our brains. 05:21
🤓 There is no fixed personality: the brain is learning and changing - the silly behaviors we had as kids vs our adult behaviors are proof of this. 07:47
🧱 You can’t undo your experiences, but you can build new and better defaults: what really works in therapy. 10:14
😍 What happens in therapy that helps people: thinking about our thinking and being aware of our self-talk. 13:52
⭐ We can change, and that is excellent news: you are not stuck and born this way. 18:33

Links

Altered Traits: www.richardjdavidson.com/altered-traits

The Brain: www.eagleman.com/books/the-brain

What Happened to You? www.amazon.com/dp/B08VVWW192

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.bonniewims.com 

Book:https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L 

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96  

Calming activities are not a replacement for real therapy. Activities like “goat yoga” can offer a relaxing and decompressing experience that can help manage stress, but calling them therapeutic is a mistake. If you are suffering from trauma that is negatively impacting your sense of self and your ability to cope, it may be best for you to seek out genuine therapeutic help to overcome those struggles. Therapy is not a quick fix, so start the journey as early as you can, so you can learn to understand yourself and enjoy the benefits of a life with positive mental health. It’s never too late to ‘think about our thinking’ and integrate our joy with the understanding of our trauma from the past.  Goat & puppy yoga may be cute and calming, but if you are struggling with anxiety, depression, or a skewed sense of self, consider speaking to a therapist today.

🐐 Goat yoga is not therapeutic in the real sense of the word. 01:50
🥺 Four of Bonnie’s older siblings left home because of their abusive father: why running away from home at age 15 was the only choice. 03:07
🤯 Bonnie survived trauma: reconstructing life in school, relationships, and work. 10:55
👱‍♀️ Mood swings and anxiety: looking back - if Bonnie had therapy at a younger age, it would have helped her tremendously. 13:08
🧒 Children blame themselves for abuse: self-blame that tangles with fear and affects all relationships. 14:05
🥃 Alcoholism is not the excuse for horrible behavior: PTSD is real for non-military people, too. 16:22
👉 Trauma response is real: Bonnie’s triggers and how they impacted her choices. 18:08
✨ Understanding and connection to oneself can deepen through therapy. 21:17
🎯 What proper therapy with a therapist can provide you. 22:06

Links:

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.bonniewims.com 

Book:https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L 

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims:www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims:calendly.com/bonnie-96  

A common myth about therapy is that therapists offer their patients advice. This is actually something that therapists are not supposed to do, as it gives away your power to someone else. Therapists are not trained to be expert advice-givers or to dish out solutions to problems.  Rather, therapists are trained to deeply listen and serve as a guide for you to explore within and discover your own answers. When seeking therapy, the goal is to build a trusting relationship not only with your therapist, but more importantly with yourself. This allows you to explore your own feelings, safely and with support so you can make decisions that are right for you. While it may be tempting to ask a therapist for advice, this actually goes against the objective of therapy. The ‘right’ answers and the solutions that are best for you come from finding that place within where you trust yourself and recognize that you are in control of your own life!

🙅‍♀️ Why therapists should NOT give advice. 01:26
🤯 The shock to the system for all therapists who start training: everybody wants advice! 02:37
👩‍🎓 Student therapist placement and supervision: when the urge to help, along with the client asking for advice, led to failure. 04:22
🤩 Why your clinical therapist won’t give you advice: what is the therapeutic relationship? 08:19
🎯 You are the expert of you - we help you realize that. 11:51
✨ When we ask for advice, we don’t build trust within ourselves. 14:14
🌸 Learning to trust yourself: self-care is a highly used word, but what matters is giving yourself the gift of trusting yourself. 15:30
✅ Blaming the therapist vs. revealing your inner knowing and finding the answer within. 17:20
⚡ Listening and reflecting in therapy: the answer will always come from within you. 19:32

Links:

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L 

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96  

The media has misconstrued and sensationalized the truth about therapy for far too long. 

The stigmas created by the media’s representation of “crazy people” has tainted its reputation, which prevents many people from getting the help they need.

Therapy is just a form of self-care that focuses on our mental health rather than our physical health and is just as mundane as going to a dentist or a gym. You don’t have to be considered “ill” to pursue therapy, it is a tool that is meant to help people who are struggling with any obstacles in their lives. 

If you are experiencing any challenges stopping you from moving forward in life, consider speaking to a therapist!

✨ Therapy is still shrouded in secrecy and silence and that causes a lot of stigma. 01:28
1️⃣ A story about tinfoil hats: therapists don’t try to read people’s minds. 03:18
2️⃣ “Only crazy people have therapists” is a very bad misperception that the media perpetuates. 07:34
3️⃣ “Talking to a therapist means you are broken.” - Vulnerability is the greatest measure of courage. 10:45
4️⃣ Our behavior comes from our thoughts: Dr. Bonnie’s personal story on trauma. 13:55
🍷 “I can handle my problems myself, I’m not on my knees”: coping mechanisms can help to some extent. 17:42
💸 “I can’t afford it”: there is a solution to that. 18:53
💡 “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” 20:06

Links:

Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L 

Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims

Book a free call with Dr. Bonnie Wims: calendly.com/bonnie-96  

Growing up in an abusive family and years of therapy helped Dr. Bonnie Wims to understand the reasons why we think and behave the way we do.

Life is hard and it happens to all of us. No one escapes the challenges and unfairness that life can throw our way. Challenges sometimes can have us feeling helpless or less equipped to manage our lives the way we want to. 

Let’s talk about the benefit of mental wellness, therapy, and how our lives can change when we open ourselves up to self-reflection.

Show Notes:
🎧 A personal paragraph from Called to Lead, Success Strategies for Women. 01:08
👧 Growing up in an abusive home: trauma responses. 02:55
⚠️ Negative self-talk is born out of the sense of low self-worth. 03:39
🎯 Therapy can help overcome challenges life puts in front of us. 04:24

Links:

🌸 Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com 

🤓 Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims  

🙂 Schedule a free consultation: https://calendly.com/bonnie-96 
📘 Book: https://www.amazon.com/Called-to-Lead/dp/B094RF5K9L 

In this podcast we will talk about therapy in a way that's easy to understand and to dispel any misunderstandings and rumors about what therapy is and who it's for and who it's not for. 

Together, we can use our resources and understanding to help you take advantage of this beautiful thing, and live a life with the most possibilities. Let's pull back this curtain and remove the mystery, the secrecy and the stigma attached to the therapy. 

Feel free to submit your questions about therapy, and I'll do my best to offer answers on an upcoming episode.

Show notes timestamps
▶️ Let’s talk about therapy and all stigma attached to it. 00:20
🤩 Bonnie is the sister of seven and lived in the UK: a whole new perspective on the world. 01:20
🛋️ Why people come to Dr. Bonnie Wims. 02:04
🤓 Let’s deconstruct some of the fallacies and bust through the myths about therapy. 03:17

Links:

🌸 Connect with Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.bonniewims.com 

🤓 Follow Dr. Bonnie Wims: www.linkedin.com/in/drbonniewims  

🙂 Schedule a free consultation: https://calendly.com/bonnie-96