[Explicit language]

Two movies titled The Accountant enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis, David Vitrano, and Robert Rau watch Ben Affleck be all wicked smart — and the 2002 winner for best live action short — to see which should be called The Accountant.

This watch was a quickie, thanks to most of us having already seen the Ben Affleck movie. David had watched all but the last 20 minutes, but that’s when the movie starts dropping twist after twist. Affleck does have problems playing an accountant and someone with autism, mainly because he’s just so darned charming. But the profession is brought up enough to at least warrant the title.

Unfortunately, it does not have the same kind of accolades that the 2002 movie has. This was a recent addition to Amazon Prime, and since most people confused it with the Affleck flick from last year, it made sense to at least cover the topic. Ray McKinnon starred, wrote, and directed this movie all about an accountant finding ways to save a family farm. The title makes more sense for this film since the main character doesn’t turn into a one-man army.

Do either of these films have enough to keep their title, or will they face the wrath of our discerning panel? Listen if you dare.

Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White

[Explicit language]

Two movies titled Overkill enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis, Eric McCauley, and Robert Rau watch a movie featuring the younger brother of Chuck Norris — and a vehicle for the 1985 Playgirl Man of the year — to see which should be called Overkill.

The first movie stars Aaron Norris, star of whatever Chuck Norris doesn’t want to do. This “hand me down” features a cop who is forced to take time off, only to get himself hunted by some jealous drug dealers. The most insulting part of the movie is that Aaron’s character is named Jack Hazard, and it isn’t used for the title. Instead, they wussed out and went with Overkill.

The second movie stars Playgirl hunk Steve Rally as a man tired of the Yakuza taking over his city. Good thing a Japanese cop and a useless teenager are there to help him settle the score. Besides dragging a lot in the middle, this movie has nothing to do with the title, only that they overdid the shirtless scenes in the movie. Heck, Steve manages to go undercover as a stripper, because you’ve got to use what you know.

Do either of these films have enough to keep their title, or will they face the wrath of our discerning panel? Listen if you dare.

Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White

[Explicit language]

Two movies titled Search and Destroy enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis and Robert Rau watch one of Canada’s finest revenge films — and what one would assume is a big favor by Martin Scorsese — to see which should be called Search and Destroy.

The first film features a guy peeved at an entire regimen of Vietnamese soldiers, and is slowly killing them one by one. Since the movie wants you to savor the last couple of kills, we get to know the future victims, as well as the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. There’s plenty of looking, followed by eliminating, which does give this movie some advantage in the title game.

The second movie was the only one directed by David Salle, but features tons of supporting talent in Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper, Illeana Douglas, Ethan Hawke, and Martin Scorsese. Griffin Dunne stars as a horrible salesman trying to raise enough money to buy the rights to his favorite book, but doesn’t have much to offer. The real issue with this forgettable movie is the lack of payoff in the title. It resonates with a powerful approach to money acquisitions, then really doesn’t do much about it.

But will Canada’s finest beat out a well-assembled gang of stars? Listen if you dare.

Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White

[Explicit language]

Two movies titled Killjoy enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis, Eric McCauley, and Robert Rau watch an Insane Clown Person — and Kim Basinger slum it in a “made for TV” mystery — to see which should be called Killjoy.

The first film is a tale of a murderous clown seeking revenge on behalf of a bullied kid who’s into black magic. Running at a slim 72 minutes and working with just a $150,000 budget, the movie did well enough to spawn four sequels. And while the series as a whole is beloved by horror clown fans, the first movie is limp. The clown kills most of the bad guys in the first 30 minutes, leading to some awkward dialogue and fight scenes. The one advantage it does have is its name, which is said ad nauseum.

The second movie was a better-than-average mystery with a then-not-famous Kim Basinger. Kim plays the daughter of a wealthy hospital magnate, as well as the fiancé of the hot new surgeon. But someone named Joy is killed, and there are several suspects in the hospital. Watch as the mystery unravels at a slow-to-moderate pace, leading to a decent conclusion. This movie did get more creative with the title, since it involved an action and a name.

But will an established franchise have the right to keep its name, or will clever puns prevail? Listen if you dare.

Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White

[Explicit language]

Two movies titled Masterminds enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis and Robert Rau watch Zach Galifianakis wear funny wigs — and Patrick Stewart get destroyed by the ’90s of bad boys — to see which should be called Masterminds.

Patrick Stewart is a treasure of a human being. Even when he stars in a movie destined for home video, Stewart gives the hammiest of bad guy performances. Future Mad Men star Vincent Kartheiser is a rockin’ teenager out to foil Stewart from holding a prep school hostage. Since the audience is meant for kids, there’s little actual danger, but there’s tons of reasons to love this good/bad ’90s movie. The only real issue is the title. Why wasn’t the campy atmosphere highlighted with a dumb, silly title?

That goes double for the year-and-a-half-delayed Zach Galifanakis movie. Zach and a cast of recognizable stars steal a bunch of money, then fight over who should have it. Just like the previous movie, the playful nature of the movie should have been reflected in the title, but no such luck.

Both movies went simple on the title, but will either be dubbed with a better suggestion? Listen if you dare.

Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White

[Explicit language]

Two movies titled Arena enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis and Robert Rau watch Samuel L. Jackson torture one of the Twilight vampires — and Johnny America battle a bunch of buff aliens — to see which should be called Arena.

Samuel L Jackson has a problem saying no to a movie script. Even one where he gets to be the creator of an illegal underground fighting arena. Kellen Lutz from Twilight (and not much else) also stars as a recent recruit getting adjusted to the whole fight-till-you-die vibe. Fun fact: This movie was filmed in Baton Rouge, so you get a chance to see brief shots of local businesses and prisons. On the bright side, it does involve an arena because that’s where all the magic happens.

The second film is a lovely throwback to 1980s Sci-Fi, with plenty of cool creature designs and horrible acting. Our hero voluntarily fights plenty of gross aliens, and gets some PG-13 sexy time. The movie does drag a bit in the middle, but that’s just because the plot isn’t important. The real star are the creatures, as well as the arena they fight in.

Tough choice, since both movies do liberally use an arena, but will Herman and Robert come up with more creative names? Listen if you dare.

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Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White

[Explicit language]

Two movies titled Dark Places enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis and Robert Rau watch Christopher Lee and Joan Collins crazy up a dude for his money — and Charlize Theron solve her family’s murder for money — to see which should be called Dark Places.

Money is useful, and certainly a motive for someone to do bad things. But both of these movies do their best to make their stars look like awful human beings just for money. First up is a 1973 horror movie starring Christopher Lee and Joan Collins. Lee pimps out his sister Collins because they think there’s a butt load of cash hidden in a house. The sex part works because Joan Collins is on her game, but neither of our stars realize how nuts their mark is. Said mark starts having flashbacks to various murders that took place in the house. Sure it’s slow, but so are most ’70s horror movies, but most importantly, “dark place” isn’t used to refer to anything.

The second film has some serious pedigree thanks to Gone Girl author Gillian Flynn, who wrote the book Dark Places this movie is derived from. Theron is a survivor of a deadly murder that kills her whole family, except for a brother she says did all the killing. Now she’s older, lazier, and motivated by a Death Club’s donation to figure out who really killed her family. While certainly not as good as Gone Girl, being based on a book with the same name certainly helps.

Will a horror flick be able to keep its title despite a strong case for a moderately budgeted flop? Listen if you dare.

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Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

[Explicit language]

Two movies titled The Fast and the Furious enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis, Knick Moore, and Robert Rau watch the movie that made the world fall in love with Vin Diesel — and the Roger Corman film they bought the naming rights to — to see which should be called The Fast and the Furious.

To be fair to the 2001 Point Break rip off, the original title was supposed to be Race War, so it made sense to find any other title in existence before making seven more movies.

The 1955 version is a racing flick about an escaped convict who takes a woman hostage, who naturally falls in love with him and allows the convict to race her car. Made for a mere $66,000, and featuring stock footage from an actual race, the story line is very dated, leading viewers to consider who should actually be furious.

As for the Vin Diesel-Paul Walker bro fest, it certainly is a capsule into the early 2000s. Marginal graphics, bright cars, and questionable music dominate the story of a guy trying to catch a gang that turns out to be his best friends.

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Considering Rob and Herman’s professed love of the series, it will be tough to actually compel them to change the title, but will Knick be convincing? Listen if you dare.

Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White

[Explicit language]

Two movies titled (The) Uninvited enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis, Mike “Regular Name” Honore, and Robert Rau watch Elizabeth Banks take advantage of a grieving husband — and a killer cat take advantage of a spring break party boat — to see which should be called (The) Uninvited.

First up is a remake of a Korean horror/thriller starring Elizabeth Browning as a teen who is suspicious of the hot nurse that cared for her blown-up mom, who is now dating her dad (BUM BUM BUMMMM!!!!). The movie does its best to be bland and uninteresting until the last 15 minutes when it kicks into high gear and turns into a neat movie. Not worth searching out, mind you. Just a pleasant surprise. As for the name, the hellloooo nurse (Elizabeth Banks) certainly isn’t welcome by some, giving it a decent case.

There were plenty of options for the second movie, but none of them had this trailer. There’s a cat, inside a cat, killing people on spring break, and the “star,” George Kennedy, is the second person to die. The movie gets a bit repetitive on the kills, and there isn’t a lick of talent in the cast, but the most insulting part of the movie is the dumb title. Jeez, you have a killer cat, and the best thing you’ve got is meant for slow-paced Korean remakes?

But will personal disgust be enough to warrant a name change, or can the silly cat killer movie prevail? Listen if you dare.

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Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

[Explicit language]

Two movies titled (The) Phantom enter, only one will leave (with that title) as Herman “OmegaPrime” Davis and Robert Rau watch Ed Harris and David Duchovny act like they are Russian — and Billy Zane act like a Superhero — to see which should be called (The) Phantom.

The 2013 submarine movie based on real events popped up on Netflix, and we asked “Why not?” Sure, Ed Harris is a great actor and David Duchovny is passable, but both guys are reenacting a thing that happened to the Soviets.

The filmmakers obviously thought, “Eh, better not chance it. Let everyone speak with American accents.”

It’s not The Hunt for Red October, or even Down Periscope, but the movie is alright, and they do say “phantom” a lot.

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The second movie is remembered as a classic because we look back fondly on cheezy action movies from the ’90s. Billy Zane stars as the titular character, with Kristy Swanson as the damsel in distress and Catherine Zeta-Jones as a bad-guy-turned-good-guy.

Others are in it, even with recognizable faces, but man this movie isn’t great. If you remember it as good, keep it that way and don’t watch it again. However, it does feature a guy called the Phantom, and that will make it hard to call it something else.

So which thing named after the movie will be forced back into obscurity? Listen if you dare.

Do you have an idea or even want to join the “There Can Be Only One” gang at their next viewing party? Email Robert Rau with your movie suggestion, the days you’re free to watch, and how much beer you can bring.

Follow The Family Dinner on Twitter @thefamilydinner, and subscribe to the group’s Facebook page.

 

Show credits:

* Director/Producer: Robert Rau

* Executive Producer: Jeremy White