There Will Be Crossbows

There Will Be Crossbows

By James Nelson and John RobisonComedyImprov
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There Will Be Crossbows episodes

  • Franchise

    Two brothers come into a large fortune and promptly open up their own McDonald's franchise, but will their lack of business acumen sink the venture before it even gets afloat?

    22 min
  • Suburbs

    The Suburbs: the most dreaded frontier of the modern age. In this ruthless, action-packed episode, terrorists begin their hostile takeover of the a neighborhood, only to get sidetracked with second jobs and malfunctioning security robots. Also at some point the episode just becomes about pizza. Sorry about that.

    19 min
  • Monarchy

    Royal family drama ensues in this shocking new episode of Crossbows! Follow the adventures of Rutherford, Bea, and Hayes as they navigate a shifting monarchy after the death of the king.

    25 min
  • Choir

    Two poor saps kicked out of their choir on the same day face entirely different destinies after they try to salvage their careers at the local jazz club open mic night. 

    20 min
  • Contradictions

    A young boy questions his faith in a provocative episode that quickly spirals out of control and becomes about Tilda Swinton.

    18 min
  • Bugs

    When a child is forced to wear an unusual Halloween costume by their parent, all hell breaks loose in a town infested by entomologists.

    12 min
  • Ranch

    From picking out salad dressing to eating human faces, this episode runs the gamut. We're sorry in advance for all the people we insulted in Hungaria, which is definitely a real country.

    14 min
  • Alaska

    Survive the frozen wasteland that is Alaska. Bears, guns, global warming, and craft beer all pose dangerous threats in this special episode dedicated to the 49th state!

    19 min
  • Swarm, Autobiography, Illness

    It's a Crossbows Mini-Sode! A kiddo gets his dream gift in the form of many horrific insects, Ozzy's autobiography gets cleaned up by his ghostwriter, and a very mysterious pandemic afflicts a very dumb person. All this and more!

    18 min
  • Big Game Hunters

    In this epic mini-sode, big game hunters and presidential assassins argue ethics, and we learn why having all your neighbors on speed dial can be a disaster.

    17 min

About There Will Be Crossbows

From the publisher's feed

There Will Be Crossbows is a long-distance improvised comedy podcast, featuring frequent collaborators and veteran improvisers John Robison and James Nelson. We make up songs and other bits, record…