They Come to America

Featuring Aaron SMALL HANDS Thompson, we delve into the state that literally has no redeeming qualities: California. Witness the majesty of the coastlines (yawn) and the grandiosity of the mountains (boring) and also all the weird monster energy drink neck tattoos you can possibly eat.

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Join Marti and Brendan as they venture into the brave new world of OnlyFans, where there will be more content and probably a few shots of their testicles here and there. But wait! There's more! If you listen to this episode you'll be treated to not one, not two, but three stories about their hometown of Chicago, at least one of which features a gigantic penis.

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Fat Mike of NOFX, the first guy everyone thinks of when they think of West Virginia, joins us to discuss the ins and outs of your cousin's underpants, the pharmacy, and the place where they cook the possum you just hit on the way into town. In other words, it's an oxy snorting, cousin humping, roadkill eating good time. Come for the two-dollar steaks, stay because you got arrested for murder after sleeping in a dead girl's bed.

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Well! It's They Come to America's one-year anniversary and we are gonna blow off a few fingers as we light a few Donald Trump-branded fireworks and then we're gonna get down to brass tacks. Facts? We got em. Stories about the two most totally hardcore American states ever: Texas and Vermont. We got em too along with an (actually good) story from Marti from his time in the wild savannah that is Chicago, Illinois. Dig this beautiful achievement or forever regret it.

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Much like the average number of teeth of the average Alabamian, there are three of us on this sojourn into Alabama. We're joined by friend of the show Stu Thompson who rolled a little Tide in college and we discuss everything from what makes Alabama the physical embodiment of a cheeseburger sandwiched between two donuts to having sex with cousins (not ours). Part two gets fucked up so dig part one while you can. Booya. Ahem, I meant Yeehah!

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This week, we're in Alabama!

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This week: We brought the unbelievably funny and awesome Shane Torres to help us discuss the merriest land of them all: Maryland. What can you say about Maryland besides that it has a very regrettable accent? Well, down in the Chesapeake region, when you think rats, you think DC. When you think mouth-breathing Jarheads, you think Virginia. Yo, not so faaaast billy ray! Welcome to Maryland, where all the suburban rats of DC and all the mouth-breathing jarheads from various nearby bases gather in one boring/dangerous place to conspire to hopefully ruin your day. Come for the complete lack of any semblance of culture, stay because you're stuck in a traffic jam. Also something about the Wire and crabs.

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We brought the unbelievably funny and awesome Shane Torres to help us discuss the merriest land of them all: Maryland. What can you say about Maryland besides that it has a very regrettable accent? Well, down in the Chesapeake region, when you think rats, you think DC. When you think mouth-breathing Jarheads, you think Virginia. Yo, not so faaaast billy ray! Welcome to Maryland, where all the suburban rats of DC and all the mouth-breathing jarheads from various nearby bases gather in one boring/dangerous place to conspire to hopefully ruin your day. Come for the complete lack of any semblance of culture, stay because you're stuck in a traffic jam. Also something about the Wire and crabs.

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Just like when Michigan transformed from being a thriving and bustling auto making state with strong union affiliation into being a place where everyone is unemployed except your aunt who works for a pyramid scheme, and where the water pipes kill you, our podcast about Michigan also has a part two. Here it is. Help us Kid Rock! You're our only hope.

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Featuring world-class visual artist Sean Nader! Remember when Michigan went out of business completely? So does Michigan. Join the likes of kid rock and that "it's so cold in the D" lady and basically everyone besides Eminem and ICP and let's talk about it. come for the highly offensive white rappers. Stay because the state's gas stations all ran out of gas.

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