Things That Will Burn In Hell with Phoenix West

To be honest the midwest is a fine place to live. Phoenix needed to escape it though after growing up in Michigan. If you want your 2 year old car to have severe rust spots then this is your place. A place where the weather hates you and you wonder why you even bother staying alive 5 months out of the year.

Hate english? Blacks? Cold weather? The American south is for you! Phoenix West lived in Mississippi for 5 months cleaning up after Hurricane Katrina and despised the place. Here is why.

I used to hate these movies. I no longer hate. Now I tolerate. I still find them overly long and boring. Watch as Phoenix reads off his version of the series in which Sam and Frodo are in a gay relationship from the south. It's... well, it's something.

Your cats don’t exist. Stop telling me you have a cat when we both know you don’t.

A woodland creature sees its shadow and that tell us the weather. We're fucking stupid and deserve to have terrible things happen to us. Things such as burning in hell.

If you want to see tits then just watch porn. Stop pretending you want to see a comedy. I've never once laughed at a tit. I've never once masturbated to jokes. They do not mix. Stop pretending they do.

If you were on That 70's Show, you are not allowed to make television shows anymore. Stop it. Unless you're Donna as a side character on OITNB. That's allowed. Other than that, stop it.

Ashton has no soul. This show has no purpose. And it isn't officially cancelled. Let this show be a warning to us all.

LIW Studios does not agree with calling women 'sluts'. The use of the word is only directed at the dirty sluts that appear on The Real World. Which is neither real nor exists in the real world. You are being lied to. But if you're watching this shitty show then you're too stupid to realize or care about that fact. Enjoy your slutty show full of shallow, vain people!