This ExtraOrdinary Life

The Higher Purpose Podcast’s new intro clarifies what the show is about and that it is for people who have chosen the road less traveled in business, in leadership and in life. Host Kevin Monroe says who better than Mike Vacanti to share the first conversation under this new banner? Mike is the first guest to appear on the show three times in a calendar year. 

Resources

Believership: The Superpower Beyond Leadership  

Humans First Club

Mike Vacanti on LinkedIn | Twitter | Facebook

MJVacanti.com 

Email: [email protected] 

Call or text Kevin: 678-744-5111

Schedule a call: KevinDMonroe.com/2020 

This week’s guest on the Higher Purpose Podcast is mindset transformation coach, Piers Thurston. He joins host Kevin Monroe for what the latter calls “a unique, different kind of conversation.”

Resources

Piers Thurston on LinkedIn

[email protected]

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect and give thanks for the abundance of blessings we have - our freedoms, our safety, and our tranquility. Kevin Monroe starts this Thanksgiving Week episode by expressing gratitude to listeners for their overwhelming support of the podcast and the Gratitude Challenge which just concluded its fifth installment. Over 1500 people from 50 countries have taken part. He invites you to take part in the upcoming Joy Challenge which starts on December 9 and continues for 12 days. Each day you will complete a simple challenge designed to unleash and amplify the joy in your life and the world around you. Joy is better when it's enjoyed with others.

Your Best Life Is In The Arena

Kevin recently attended a football game that boasted a record crowd. He says he couldn’t escape the fact that over 100,000 people were in the stands, and millions more elsewhere, to watch 22 players. Only the players were in the arena while everyone else was somewhere else:  either watching the action, waiting to get in on the action, commentating on the action or missing out on the action. If you’re committed to living an extraordinary life, Kevin says, there’s only one place that can happen, and that’s in the arena. He quotes the Man In The Arena speech by Theodore Roosevelt, “...The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood…” He asks listeners, Are you in the arena? Life is not a spectator sport. Life is meant to be lived in the arena, so if you’re sitting in the stands, it’s time to change. Get on the field and play.

Who’s Not In The Arena

Kevin lists the different categories of people who are not in the arena:

Are You In The Arena?

Kevin concludes this week’s show by encouraging listeners to ask themselves what’s keeping them out of the arena of life. The arena is where you will live your decade of difference. Don’t beat yourself up over your shortcomings, we all have some. Get in the arena and dare greatly.

Resources

Join the Joy Challenge

Book Your Decade of Difference

Email Kevin: [email protected] 

Call: 678-744-5111

Cornell Thomas, author of Extraordinary, was raised on the adage that everything happens for a reason. His mom taught him through her example that in difficult times, you look for a solution, you don’t quit. He joins Kevin Monroe to talk about finding his purpose and living an extraordinary life.

In Finding Your Purpose, Even Baby Steps Are Steps

We’ve all had moments where we think we discovered our purpose in life. Cornell says that happened twice before he found his true purpose. He shares how his purpose changed from basketball player to coach, then to writer. Purpose is a journey, not a destination, Kevin says. Cornell agrees that it’s a journey because it’s never-ending. A destination means that you get there at some point, so it becomes a race to the finish line. There’s no finish line to what I do, he says, because my purpose is evolving every single day. The reason so many people don’t discover their purpose is because they either get discouraged or they think there’s nothing else they could do. There’s always another step, Cornell emphasizes. You have to fight for your purpose. Kevin adds that you just have to take one step, then another, and don’t quit. Even baby steps are steps, says Cornell. 

You Are Extraordinary

You are extraordinary because there’s no one else like you or ever will be. So how can you not treat yourself as priceless? The difference between extraordinary and ordinary is that extra that you put in. What you do determines if your legacy becomes special. He asks listeners, who are the top three people who have influenced you in your life? Who would name you in their top three? If you’ve made someone’s top three, you’ve made a lasting impact on their life. That impact will last long after you’re gone, and they in turn may pass it on to their children. That’s legacy for Cornell. Legacy is not changing the world by yourself.

Who’s Your Mahalia?

We’ve bought into a fantasy that one person by themselves changes the world, Kevin comments. The reality is that no one does it alone. The sooner you figure out who your people are, the bigger the impact you will make together with them. He relates how it was Mahalia Jackson’s prompting Martin Luther King, Jr to tell the crowd about the dream, that led to his greatest speech. Who’s your Mahalia? Who is the person who sees your dream and helps you articulate it in a way you’ve never done before?

Getting Through Adversity

Kevin asks, what’s one thing that awakens an ordinary person to believe that life can be extraordinary? Cornell answers that for him, it has been adversity. After you’ve been through a difficult experience, you often ask yourself how you got through it. It awakens you and inspires you to make a change. If you’re in the middle of adversity, he advises you not to go it alone. Use your support network. First, ask yourself, Is this life or death? Then, what do I immediately have to start doing to slowly change my mindset? The third question to ask yourself is, Who can I bring along with me to hold me accountable for these action steps? There are going to be storms in life, Cornell says. But they are transitory and you can get through it.

Resources

Cornell-Thomas.com

[email protected]

Cornell Thomas on Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

In this week’s episode of the Higher Purpose Podcast, Kevin Monroe shares some insights to inspire listeners as a new decade approaches. He speaks about the power of a like-hearted community and leading an extra-ordinary life.

The Road Less Traveled

Kevin believes that, like himself, listeners have chosen the road less traveled, whether in business, leadership or life in general. A question he has been pondering is, what happens when we lose our way on this road? There aren’t any established markings or exits here, so maybe we’re not actually lost as we think. He asks, who do you call first when you’ve lost your way? If that person is not on the same road as you, their options may be very different from yours, so their advice would not be of much help to you. You should surround yourself with people who are on the same journey, Kevin admonishes. Be especially selective about who you allow into your life as a mentor and how much influence you allow them to have in your business and life, he warns, especially if their goals, beliefs, and values are diametrically opposed to your own.

The Power of a Like-Hearted Community

More and more, Kevin is recognizing how important it is to connect to a like-hearted community. We don’t have to think alike, but we must be wired alike at the heart, he says. We can’t change the universe by ourselves, we need to do it in community with people who are on the same road.

Long-Range Planning

Instead of the typical annual planning that we do, what if we think of the coming decade instead, Kevin suggests. Now you have 40 quarters to accomplish your goals, instead of just 4, and 3650 days instead of just 365. How would your plans change using this approach? If we take a decade-long mindset, we wouldn’t be in such a hurry to gain traction, we’d know we have lots of time. 

Living an Extra-Ordinary Life

Many of us aspire to be extraordinary but we compare ourselves to other people, and we conclude that we’re just too ordinary. However, the path from ordinary to extra-ordinary is simple: it's doing ordinary things, but doing them with extra focus, flair and fervor. Suddenly, that life that we thought was ordinary is extra-ordinary. This extra-ordinary life is available to us all, Kevin says, and the gateway to it is gratitude. He invites listeners to think about 2020 as a decade of difference. To have that decade of difference, we need to focus more on who we are being and becoming than what we are doing and accomplishing. Embracing the extra-ordinary in business, leadership or life is the long road. Being faithful with it requires us doing it together as a community of like-hearted travelers.

Resources

Book a call with Kevin

Call Kevin: 678-744-5111 

Email: [email protected] 

Episode 37 - Story Driven with Bernadette Jiwa 

Garry Turner is this week’s guest on the Higher Purpose Podcast. He is the host of the Value Through Vulnerability podcast and was a guest on Episode 90 of this show. Kevin describes him as a great connector of people. They discuss his awakening, how his life is different post-awakening and the joy of connecting.

Waking Up

Garry recently delivered a keynote address at the Ignite Conference in Switzerland. His topic was Waking Up to Purpose, Meaning, and Connection. Kevin asks why he used the term waking up. He replies that five years ago he had already achieved everything society said was important, but he had a hollow feeling in his heart. That was the start of his awakening. He realized that he was sleepwalking through life: he was only focusing on the outside and neglecting his inner self. He describes his awakening as a gradual process that included taking deliberate action but then experiencing burnout. It was his coach that led him to realize that the outside world didn’t cause his burnout, but that he did it to himself by believing that he was not good enough.

Life Post Awakening

When he accepted that he was the cause of his own burnout, Garry felt a release and freedom from feeling like a victim. He now believes that he is good enough. He does not attach his identity to making money or outside validation. He can now appreciate insights that did not mean much before. I just feel more vibrant, he says. He has more capacity and is more productive because he does not waste so much energy thinking that he is not enough. Kevin comments that we expend so much energy in fantasy conversations that don’t take us any place good. He asks Garry to speak to listeners who may be feeling inadequate or hopeless. Garry assures listeners that they are enough and to actively connect with other people. If you need a listening ear, he invites you to reach out to him or Kevin personally.

The Joy of Connecting

You feel a sense of belonging when you’re part of a community where you can connect with others and just be yourself. We’re all innately connected because we’re part of the human race, Garry says. If you think you don’t belong, you’re overthinking your way away from belonging. Kevin agrees with that assessment. He asks Garry whether his awakening prompted him to be a great connector, or if he has always been that way. Garry responds that he’s always been good at developing meaningful relationships, but his awakening made this ability more pronounced. For him, connecting people is more a flow state than an active energy. It’s very intuitive, he says. For Kevin, it’s a deep calling and almost like a duty. He says that it’s like he is responding to an invitation to do something and who knows the impact it might have! Everything opens up when you’re connected, Garry says. He experiences a transformation in his ability to be present and empathetic, to serve, and to love himself as part of the bigger system. His life is richer for just being open to all life has to offer.

Resources

Garry Turner on Twitter | LinkedIn  

Email Garry: [email protected] 

Value Through Vulnerability podcast

Episode 90 of Higher Purpose Podcast

Humans First Hangout

Join the Gratitude Challenge

Call Kevin: 678-744-5111 

Email: [email protected]

Kerry Wekelo is the Chief Operating Officer at Actualize Consulting, and author of Culture Infusion: 9 Principles for Creating and Maintaining a Thriving Organizational Culture. She chats with Kevin Monroe about how she helps her company and clients infuse a people-first culture into their organizations.

An Inside Out Perspective

Kerry explains that the book is a case study of Actualize and shows how they were able to turn around their culture from being focused on profits first, to people first. Kevin says that he appreciates that this book gives an inside out perspective.

Infusing Means Layering Flavors

As Kerry looks forward to 2020 she is thinking about what strategies she will improve on or new ones she will include. She emphasizes that you can’t just make a decision and never revisit it: it’s a constant, continuous journey of putting people first and keeping up with the times, similar to how you would layer flavors in a dish you are cooking. That’s why her book is called Culture Infusion. When Actualize decided to put their people first, they layered that principle into every touchpoint, such as their newsletter, their monthly All Hands calls, and even when Kerry checks in with new recruits. What we’re doing, she says, is a lot of little things that are infusing the people-first principle, and it’s really making a big difference. Throughout the organization people feel supported and appreciated. 

Building From Your Heart

Kevin asks Kerry to unpack a quote from the book, “When it all comes down to it as the leader the most solid foundation on which you can build is your heart.” She explains that it’s important to check your gut instinct when you’re making decisions. She trusts her intuition then brings in the analytical business case.

Defining Culture

Both Kerry and Kevin share their definition of culture. To Kerry, culture is the pulse of the organization. Kevin defines culture as the way we do things around here. Kerry feels gratified that prospective employees all feel that what they heard about Actualize turns out to be true - that it’s a great place to work.

Principles They Live By

One of the nine principles Kerry discusses in her book is surveying the team. She says that they seek feedback on several topics throughout the year. They always let their employees know what they decided based on their feedback; and if they didn’t decide to do something, they let everyone know why. Kevin asks how her process has changed since she wrote the book. She comments that she has been focusing more on gratitude in the company as well as in her seminars.

Resources

Kerry Wekolo on LinkedIn | Twitter 

Actualize Consulting 

Join the Gratitude Challenge

Call Kevin: 678-744-5111 

Email: [email protected] 

Executive coach and author of Are You Listening or Just Waiting to Speak, Jane Adshead-Grant is the guest on today’s show. She shares deep insights about listening with host Kevin Monroe, including why she discourages note taking during conversations.

Don’t Take Notes 

Kevin often creates some questions to ask podcast guests as a springboard to their conversation. While they are speaking, he jots down notes so that he remembers important points or ideas he wants to revisit. Jane discourages this practice. She says that instead of taking notes, he should trust himself. When you listen deeply, you’re allowing the speaker to continue to think and speak at their very best. You will remember the essential elements of what they said, she assures Kevin. To listen deeply, you must first be at ease with yourself as the listener; you must know that both speaker and listener have equal capacity to think, listen and share; and you must appreciate each other for the qualities that you see in one another.

The Gift of Time

Kevin asks what listeners can do to be more present in the conversation. Jane advises them to give themselves the gift of this time, free from judgment, distraction and interruption. Distraction can be both internal and external, she says. An example of internal distraction is when your mind wanders; she advises that you should mentally check yourself when this happens and bring your focus back to the conversation. The most common external distraction is the phone: just put it on silent. When you actively give your attention - paying attention is more passive and reactive, Jane says - you’re giving respect to the other person. You’re saying that in this moment they are more important than anything else.

Let Silence Do the Heavy Lifting

Jane writes in her book that we should let silence do the heavy lifting. Kevin asks her to unpack that statement. She explains that people need time to process questions or information. Giving them the opportunity to pause while they process their thoughts is a real gift. Humans think in waves and pauses: we have a wave of thinking, and then we naturally pause. If we allow that silence for long enough, the brain itself will soar once more in a new way, Jane says.

Don’t Interrupt

The brain receives an interruption like an assault, Jane reveals. One of the greatest things we can do is resist the urge to interrupt, and allow the person to complete their thoughts, feelings and ideas. Interrupting prevents the person from flourishing into who they are meant to become. If you absolutely must interrupt, you should do it as gracefully as possible, while the person takes a pause. If you inadvertently interrupt someone, apologize. 

Listening is a Gift

Jane reminds us that listening is a gift that is worth mastering because it shows how much you care. When you listen to someone to generate their best thinking, it frees them to be more, to create more, to feel more courageous. Whereas time is the currency of leadership, listening is the currency of relationship.

Resources

JaneAdsheadGrant.com

Jane on LinkedIn | Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | Instagram 

Kevin Monroe has a one-on-one chat with listeners this week about our need for belonging. We are wired for belonging: we all have a desire to be seen, accepted, valued and loved for who we are, not what we have to become to earn approval or acceptance. Often, however, we settle for just connection. Kevin discusses four aspects of this important subject: the beauty of belonging, barriers to belonging, the battle for belonging and the birthright of belonging.

The Epidemic of LonelinessMost people have many ‘friends’, especially on social media, that they are connected to, yet loneliness has reached epidemic proportions. People may be socially connected, but they are lonely because they lack a sense of belonging. Loneliness is a greater health risk than obesity, Kevin says. The risk of dying from obesity is 30%, whereas the risk of dying from loneliness is 50% greater than that.

The Beauty of Belonging Much of what humans do, according to a study by Baumeister and Leary, is in the service of belonging. Kevin invites listeners to reflect on the things they’ve done in order to belong. He states that there is beauty in belonging. What is that place of deep belonging for you, he asks. What are the memories and feelings you associate with that place? The best experience of belonging, he declares, is a place where no credentials are required. You feel a sense of home there.

Barriers to BelongingThere are many barriers to belonging, such as economic, social and institutional barriers. Perhaps the biggest barrier for most of us, Kevin says, is the personal barrier. We have this narrative running in our head that tells us that we don’t belong, and gives us the reasons why. When we enter a new place, we go in looking for resistance and rejection, and our confirmation bias ensures that that’s exactly what we see.

The Battle for Belonging We have been sold a lie, mostly by mass media, that belonging is beautiful but only the beautiful belong. This idea is funded by billions of dollars to tell us that we don’t belong, but we can buy our way into belonging. But if we have to buy belonging, what happens when we can’t afford it any longer? We’re booted out. Kevin discusses the various ways we are made to battle for belonging.

The Birthright of BelongingWe belong, simply because we are part of the human race. It’s our birthright and we don’t have to do anything or buy anything to earn that right. Kevin says that we can’t make someone feel that they belong, but we certainly can create an environment where people feel welcome. Stop erecting artificial barriers and entrance exams that do more to keep people out than let them in. Look people in the eye, smile, shake hands, hug. Call them by name. See people and let them see you. Have conversations with people who are different from you. Don’t just stop at connection, Kevin says, move beyond it to belonging. Let’s create hospitable environments that welcome people and allow them to experience belonging.

Resources[email protected]Phone: 678-744-5111Barriers to Belonging reportBaumeister and Leary studyTraci Fenton episode Chris Chancey episode 

Kevin talks one-on-one with listeners in this week’s show. It has been 2.5 months since his last solo episode and he has a few thoughts he wants to share with the community.

His two most recent speaking engagements were the most fun for Kevin because, as he says, “It was the most me I've ever allowed myself to be.” He describes himself as a blue jeans guy, and it was the first time he allowed himself to wear jeans on stage, instead of a suit and tie. His keynote address was about the Superhero syndrome, which was discussed in episode 83 as well as in his Linkedin blog post titled Soft Skills Suck. Soft skills, he says, are really a misnomer because, in today's world of business and life, it takes people skills to succeed. That's the really hard stuff.

The audience responded well to his presentation and it made him realize that people are tired of being talked at. They want to have conversations. Showing up as his authentic self and having real conversations with his audience really made the experience special. Kevin challenges listeners: What do you want to do that is authentically you despite the expectations others have placed on you?

Overthinking and UnderactingKevin talks about how the Gratitude Challenge began and where it has reached in such a short time. He is grateful that he took action on the idea instead of overthinking, over-preparing, and underacting as he would usually do. He urges listeners to take action on their ideas: make a minimally viable product, get it out there and see how people respond to it.

We’re All On the VergeWe all have times when we think: “By now I should…” These thoughts often lead nowhere good.  When Kevin has these thoughts, as he recently did, he calls out in prayer and he reaches out to someone in person. This practice staves off what could have been a series of dark days. What came out of his conversation was that, in one way or another, we’re all on the verge of becoming what we’re capable of. He reflects about he would much rather have the words He was on the verge written on his tombstone than the words He quit.

The Liminal StateThe liminal state is the state between what was and what will be. We are not who we were, yet we've not fully become who we are in the process of becoming. We often express this as: “I will be _____ when _____.” Kevin says that if we believe that we will only be successful when something happens, that day will never come. The moment we reach that milestone we move the bar higher.  We should say instead: “I am ______ now, because _______.”  Even though you may not have or be all that you want at this moment, there are still many things that are beautiful in your life.

ResourcesJoin the Gratitude Challenge  [email protected]Phone: 678-744-5111